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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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OP
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
<Well….that’s just great. This must be what life with Superman is like. Disappearing at a moment’s notice to save the day. Hmmm…wonder what they have for dessert?> Yes, this could be what life is going to be like for Lois Lane. Seeing Clark fly off to save the world again, and having dessert while he's gone! I'm glad Bridget's hypnosis didn't make her turn over an entirely new leaf!  Clark was halfway across the United States on his way to stop a dam from overflowing in the southwest when he realized that Lois had no place to go. <You’re an idiot>, he told himself. <You left her in a restaurant, all alone. Well, she’ll probably go back upstairs to the bullpen and wait for me there. Better make this quick.> I'm really glad that Clark is worrying about Lois while he is away. Lois ate her slice of pie slowly, savoring each morsel. <I guess I’ll go back to work. Hopefully Clark will get us a scoop, our first one as a writing team. God, that pie was soooo good.> Mmmmmm.... Aaaaaahhh.... And I'm just having the last pieces of a super-delicious chocolate bar. French chocolate, made from cocoa beans from Madagascar, Plantation Mangaro. Milk chocolate which contains 50% per cent cocoa.... You can't imagine how rich, smooth, intense and velvety it is. I know I shouldn't....  A short man with a bowler hat was standing in front of the Daily Planet’s entrance. Spotting Lois exiting the restaurant and heading towards him, he quickly approached her. <Oh dear, where is Mr. Kent?> he wondered as he struggled with what his first words to *this* Lois Lane should be. He had not anticipated running into Lois Lane without Clark Kent by her side. I really like H.G. Wells' sweet awkwardness. Ever so slightly reminiscent of Clark, when he is at his sweetly nerdiest. “Ms. Lane? I would so like to have a word with you,” he said politely in a crisp British accent.
“No more interviews today. I already gave a press conference, I’m done,” Lois said without even looking up. I like the contrast between these two personalities.  “Ms. Lane. I’m not here for an interview. Perhaps you’ve heard of me…Herbert George Wells? I’m sure Mr. Kent must have mentioned me by now.”
“You! You’re the guy that can bring me over to meet the other Lois!” she exclaimed. Wow! She is told that the man in front of her is H.G. Wells, and in a millisecond she knows that she wants him to take her to the other Lois! Talk about not beating around the bush. And talk about being brave - I mean, would each and every one of us be eager to show our too-flawed selves to a perfect version of ourselves? “I beg your pardon?” Wells said politely. “You want to meet the Lois of my world?”
“Yes!” Lois asserted. “Please? I need to see why Clark is so in love with her.”
<Oh dear. This might present quite a dilemma. *Where* is Clark Kent?> Poor H.G. Wells gets all flustered. “My dear, do you really think that’s a good idea? And I believe that Mr. Kent is quite in love with *you*, not your double. Where is he, actually?” Wells asked. Help, Superman!!!  “I guess he had a Superman emergency. He disappeared in a flash. He warned me that he comes and goes a lot. Do you have your machine thing-y to take us over to the other universe?” You gotta love this Lois, don't you? Wells had to suppress a smile. “Yes, Ms. Lane. But again…do you really think that this is a good idea? To meet your twin, that is?”
“Why, because she’s skinnier than me? Because Clark met her first and he’s hoping that I’m enough like her that he can love me the way he loves her?”
“I would think that you would want Mr. Kent to accompany you over to the other world. Don’t you want to wait for him to come back?” Wells replied, trying to buy some time. Help, help, help, Superman.... “Listen, Mr. Wells, you came looking for me. It seems to me that this Tempus guy made three years of my life disappear. My mother and sister are dead and I didn’t even get to go to their funerals. You can help me fix that. From what I understand, your time-traveling meddling is what unleashed this Tempus character in the first place. Am I right?”
Wells nodded. “I’m afraid that is correct, and I apologize.” Well, you may need Superman's help, H.G. Look what she knows about you. “This is what I want you to do, Herbert George Wells. First, I want to go visit this other universe and meet the other Lois. Secondly, I want you to take me back to the day *after * I disappeared so I can tell my mother that I’m going to be missing for three years and not to drink herself to death. Thirdly, I want you to take me to see my sister Lucy the day *before* her plane crash. I’m going to find some excuse to keep her from boarding that plane. Then, we’ll come back to the “present” and hopefully I will have my family back. Then I’ll accept your apology. Okay?”
<Good lord, these Lane women are strong-willed, aren’t they??> “Quite so, Ms. Lane. Follow me, please.” Herb directed Lois over to the alley where his time machine was hidden. What? He's going to let her change history? I don't mind it, don't get me wrong, but I didn't think it was allowed. Lois scrutinized the time vessel and finally turned to Wells and said, “This gizmo really works? Never mind, I’ll take your word for it. You’re here in *that* outfit, that’s proof enough for me. This Lois doesn't mince her words, does she? I love it!! “Ok, Herbert George Wells…hit the button…or the thingy…or whatever makes this time bomb work! Let’s go!” Lois directed.
Wells couldn’t stop smiling. <This Lois Lane is quite the feisty one>, he was observing. You betcha!!! Clark was just returning to Metropolis and flying at top speed towards the restaurant he had left Lois in when he spotted a shimmering light in the alleyway near the Daily Planet. He was mortified when he realized that what he was seeing was Lois and Wells vanishing in the time machine. It brought back the horrifying feeling he had felt as he’d watched Tempus kidnap her out of her own apartment. He couldn’t lose her again. He suspected where Lois had requested Wells to take her. Meeting her twin in the other world could put a nail in the coffin of their fledgling relationship. I adore that Clark is feeling so bad about seeing Lois disappear with Wells. I like it so much that he is worrying about losing her! <I’d better get back upstairs and write up this rescue before the wire services get it. I’ll put both our names on it. Hopefully Wells will bring her back shortly. How is she going to feel after meeting a thinner version? Is she going to hate herself? Turn into an anorexic so she’ll look like the other Lois? Hmmm.... Yes, poor Teri Hatcher really did look slightly anorexic during Season 4. Glad you are making me feel that Clark wouldn't really like it if his Lois became as thin as that. Yikes>, Clark thought to himself. <Hanging around Lois is already turning me into a thought-babbler!> Thin-Lois made a flying motion with her right hand. “Remember in this world, no one knows,” she said, imploring with her eyes that Larger-Lois wouldn’t blurt out loudly that she knew Clark was Superman.
“A pair of glasses really does it, huh? That’s weird," Larger-Lois remarked.
“Tell me about it,” Thin-Lois replied with sarcasm evident in her tone of voice. And this is lovely!!! Great chapter, Chris. I love it! Ann
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Joined: Jan 2004
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269 |
Ann, your feedback is so great, I think it was longer than the actual chapter <g> In regards to Lois changing history, this was her rationale from before (Chapter 7) “Clark, if this Tempus guy just kidnapped me and moved me three years into the future, that means technically, I’m still 27, not 30. Right?”
“That’s true, although it would be nearly impossible to prove it, Lois. Your birth certificate says 1967,” Clark pointed out.
“And during the three years that I wasn’t around, my mother and sister died. Not only did he keep *us* apart, he caused my mother to drink herself to death and prevented me from going to both my mother’s and my sister’s funerals. Isn’t there any way for me to get those years back? Couldn’t you go back in time and prevent him from abducting me?”
“I wanted to do that but Herb told me I couldn’t change the past, I could only observe it.”
“But Tempus changed the past by taking me out of my world,” Lois argued. “If he can do it, why can’t you?”
“It’s complicated to explain. You see, I was alive in 1992. Tempus wasn’t. If I go back and change events then, it affects my life – my present and future – as well. One can only change the past or the future if you weren’t a part of it. Does that make sense?”
“I guess so. But then…I wasn’t part of the second half of 1992 thru 1995 when I was left in the jungle. Therefore, if I could go back to 1993 and see my mother, I might be able to prevent her from drinking herself to death. And I could prevent Lucy from getting on that plane that day, too, because technically – I wasn’t part of the timeline. Am I right?”
“Hmmm….you may have a point. But regardless, Lois, I don’t own the time machine. Herb does. We can ask him about all this the next time he shows up.” And the actual conversation between Wells and Lois will be revealed in the next flashback sequence. Of course, we don't know that what she attempted to do worked...until she gets off the elevator LOL!! Thanks so much for your great interest in this story!
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
Lois! Not a good idea to go without Clark. Do you have your machine thing-y to take us over to the other universe?” ... Don't do it, Herb! You don't know what will happen with history. I can see it now. Alt-Clark has disappeared!! “This is what I want you to do, Herbert George Wells. First, I want to go visit this other universe and meet the other Lois. Secondly, I want you to take me back to the day *after * I disappeared so I can tell my mother that I’m going to be missing for three years and not to drink herself to death. Thirdly, I want you to take me to see my sister Lucy the day *before* her plane crash. I’m going to find some excuse to keep her from boarding that plane. Then, we’ll come back to the “present” and hopefully I will have my family back. Then I’ll accept your apology. Okay?” ... Ah, poor Clark. He might be right! Oh, and Herb was right! Alt-Clark is in love with alt-Lois! Meeting her twin in the other world could put a nail in the coffin of their fledgling relationship. ... This is great!! ... I think it would work better if you tell us what happened to Lois before she came back. I think this part - Starting with...Unbeknownst to Clark, outside in the nearby alley the time machine had re-materialized. Lois felt queasy from the movement of the dimensional portal. and ending with.... Lois felt changed somehow, inside. - should go after her experiences in this world. I don't think the flashback works well the way you have used it. I think if you do the flashbacks after she finds out if Ellen and Lucy are waiting for her, then it would work fine. ... Would Lois really think this?? <Oh, poor Clark. He’s lost his parents, Lana, and now *his* Lois is …large.> Somehow, I don't imagine Lois to be this shallow. ... I liked parts of it, but for the most part I didn't really like the conversation between the Loises. I guess what I didn't like about it was the launch right into being overweight. I just can't see that happening. But that's just my take on it. ... Ann... Mmmmmm.... Aaaaaahhh.... And I'm just having the last pieces of a super-delicious chocolate bar. French chocolate, made from cocoa beans from Madagascar, Plantation Mangaro. Milk chocolate which contains 50% per cent cocoa.... You can't imagine how rich, smooth, intense and velvety it is. I know I shouldn't.... You're killing me here.
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Hi, Great part. 
Maria D. Ferdez.
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Don't like Luthor, unfinished, untitled and crossover story, and people that promises and don't deliver. I'm getting choosy with age.
MAF
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Classicalla: some honest feedback there, and I appreciate it.
Here's my thinking on your points:
You know how the TV show Lost only gives you part of the flashback of each character? Well that's what I'm aiming for. Hard to see where I'm going that way, posting chapter by chapter, but perhaps in the context of the entire story, it will work OK.
I don't think Lois is shallow, but let's face it: if you were thin and beautiful and you met your twin and she was overweight, wouldn't there be a part of you that would wonder if your boyfriend/husband would still love you if you suddenly gained weight?
And Larger-Lois opened up the weight issue right away by stating that she wished she had been born with thin-Lois' figure...so Thin-Lois, knowing exactly how her larger twin would think intuitively, feels comfortable bringing up the subject. It's like talking to yourself....
Anyway....let me know in a few more chapters if my methodology works or not!!
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 3,166 |
Yes, the alt-Lois brought it up the weight issue first, but our Lois thought about it before alt-Lois ever said a thing. That's what I meant by saying that I didn't think our Lois would be this shallow: Would Lois really think this?? <Oh, poor Clark. He’s lost his parents, Lana, and now *his* Lois is …large.> Somehow, I don't imagine Lois to be this shallow. ... Yes, they did launch right into the overweight conversation, but I guess I'm not sure that would be the first thing that the alt-Lois would have brought up. I sure wouldn't have. In addition, it seemed to not be friendly enough or warm enough. I'd like to see a little more emotion in the conversation. ... As for this: if you were thin and beautiful and you met your twin and she was overweight, wouldn't there be a part of you that would wonder if your boyfriend/husband would still love you if you suddenly gained weight? Gosh, I don't know, but yeah, I guess I would. I've been thin and beautiful, and I've been overweight. I'm not sure I'd like to 'meet' the other version of myself. I'm pretty sure that if the BBW me met the TBW me that the BBW me surely wouldn't bring up the weight issue right off. I'd say something else first, but I'm not the one writing the story. Looking forward to more. Hope you didn't mind the email.
~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
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Joined: Jan 2004
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,269 |
My e-mail is backed up and haven't read yours yet, but hey how can I mind an e-mail? If someone takes the time to send an e-mail, it's a compliment!
Well - from Larger-Lois' POV, she already knew that the other Lois was slim. That's one of the reasons she wanted to meet her - to see a "thin" version of herself. I think it was weighing on her mind (pardon the pun), so she naturally brought it up. PLus, she probably knew that Thin-Lois thought that Alt-Lois would be an exact double of her, so she was self-conscious about being heavier than her.
The two women are going to have coffee. I'm sure you'll see more warmth during that conversation!
Chris
"Together we are stronger than each of us is apart"
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Posts: 1,883
Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
Now that Lois has left the wilderness, she certainly isn't ignoring the sweets, is she? “This is what I want you to do, Herbert George Wells. First, I want to go visit this other universe and meet the other Lois. Secondly, I want you to take me back to the day *after* I disappeared so I can tell my mother that I’m going to be missing for three years and not to drink herself to death. Thirdly, I want you to take me to see my sister Lucy the day *before* her plane crash. I’m going to find some excuse to keep her from boarding that plane." Goodness, Lois. You don't want much, do you? But Herb should know that once a Lois fixes her mind on something, there is no stopping it. Like a freight train! But I am suprised that Herb is going to let her change history. <Oh, poor Clark. He’s lost his parents, Lana, and now *his* Lois is …large.> Well, that's rude! I would have thought that marriage to Clark would have made Lois see past things like that! She should feel nothing but happiness that Alt-Lois was found alive and well. “Clark isn’t in love with me, Lois. He’s been looking for you for at least a year. You’re *his* Lois. Meeting me just made him realize that his high school sweetheart was way wrong for him. You are the only one that can complete him, trust me.” OK, Lois is forgiven.  And her telling Alt-Lois that some issues are internal was good, too. I like the way you did Alt-Lois' time travel as a flashback. Will we get to see what else happened on the trip?
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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