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FDK: Faustian Bargain 11
#33509 10/19/06 08:43 PM
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The Bluegrass State
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Okay, so I'm really behind here. Forgive me!


I like the little addition you made here.
Quote
It was because you love him, her mind whispered. You figured that out at the altar with Lex. It was Clark you wanted. It was always only Clark. It was just safer to love Superman because you knew you couldn't have him. Her phone rang, breaking into her thoughts.
~~

Didn't like this addition so much. Lois was being pretty immature, too.
Quote
As the elevator doors shut, Lois gulped in several deep breaths and tried to convince herself that Clark Kent was not worth crying over. Anyone who could be that immature wasn't worth hanging onto.
~~

I like this!
Quote
Damn him anyway for being so charming and…

"I love you. And I hoped you might feel the same way."

Yes, especially damn him for that. Damn him for making it real. Why wasn't just friends real enough for him?
~~

Can't Clark just break one little finger?
Quote
"So?" What if he only broke one of Ken's fingers?
~~

e-vil 1. adj. wicked; arising from or caused by real or supposed wickedness 2. n. what is morally wrong, what hinders the realization of the good; the act of reading an fic about two people having a steamy buddy-sex affair and then being merciless in trying to second guess the author on whether the one occasion they forgot to use protection has resulted in conception even before the door has shut behind them in the supply closet, and then not letting it go when said author leaves multiple hints involving the early symptoms of pregnancy so that readers might arrive at that conclusion before the female character, who thinks she just has a stomach bug and is not pregnant, which, it turns out, she is.

~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
Re: FDK: Faustian Bargain 11
#33510 10/19/06 11:23 PM
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Sue S. Offline
Kerth
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Actually, Nancy, both of those parts were in the original story. :p

And you just had to go and bring up the definition of evil again, didn't you?

Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.

Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
Re: FDK: Faustian Bargain 11
#33511 10/20/06 05:18 AM
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They were? Gosh, I read them side by side. I must be really tired.

~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
Re: FDK: Faustian Bargain 11
#33512 10/20/06 08:55 AM
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I read them again. I promise - the versions are different. The nfic version was saved to my computer on Oct 19. The differences in the quote below are in bold. I thought I was losing my mind... blush


This is from the nfic:

Quote
She had wanted him to be attracted to her. She had wanted it to mean something - to him. She just didn't want to feel so much in return.

"This is real to me, Lois. Nothing has ever been this real."

"It was just sex, Clark. It never meant anything more to me."

God, of all the things she could have said, she picked those words. Remember how it stung when he said it wasn't real, her conscience goaded her. What if you had said "I love you" and he told you it wasn't real? How much more would that hurt? You can't just say "I'm sorry" and fix it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This is from the gfic:

gfic
Quote
She had wanted him to be attracted to her. She had always wanted it to mean something - to him. She just didn't want to feel so much in return. Damn him anyway for being so charming and…

"I love you. And I hoped you might feel the same way."

Yes, especially damn him for that. Damn him for making it real. Why wasn't just friends real enough for him?

"It was just sex, Clark. It never meant anything more to me."

Of all the things she could have said, she picked those words. Remember how it stung when he said it wasn't real, her conscience goaded her. What if you had said "I love you" and he told you it wasn't real? How much more would that hurt? You can't just say "I'm sorry" and fix it.

~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~
Re: FDK: Faustian Bargain 11
#33513 10/24/06 02:36 AM
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Sue S. Offline
Kerth
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The "this is real to me" line was right in the middle of the, um, act in the original version. Since I couldn't PG-ify it, I left it out and substituted in another line. wink

Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.

Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
Re: FDK: Faustian Bargain 11
#33514 10/26/06 05:21 PM
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Sue, I hope you don't think I was busting your chops. I liked the PG version better. That's why I mentioned it. I thought it was so sweet and way more emotional!!! thumbsup

~~Even heroes have the right to dream.~~

Moderated by  Kaylle, SuperBek 

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