HAPPY HALLOWEEN?
By Tank Wilson


Lois Lane Kent was exhausted. She wouldn't have believed that answering the front door a hundred plus times in the course of the evening could be so taxing. The last trick-or- treater had been nearly a half an hour ago so she assumed it would be safe to just lie back on the couch and watch the LNN evening news. Clark was out taking care of some pile-up on the interstate, but she expected him back relatively soon. She had just reached for the remote when there was another knock at the door. She sighed as she stood back up and headed, grabbing a fistful of candy, for the door once again. Didn't these kids ever go home?

She pulled the door open, expecting to hear a youthful chorus of 'trick-or-treat', but instead was confronted by a tall, silent man. A man she immediately recognized. It was a vision she never expected to see again. The candy fell from nerveless fingers as she recoiled in shock.

"Lex?"

"Good evening, Lois," he said as he stepped into the entry. "You're looking well."

Lois took a couple more steps back, her head shaking in denial. "You can't be here. You're dead. I saw you die... twice."

A faint smile twitched the lips of the late Lex Luthor. As usual he was dressed impeccably. A flawlessly tailored black tux currently adorned the former billionaire. "No, Lois, not dead. More accurately you might say I'm one of the... undead." His smile grew wider revealing a set of canine fangs straight out of a B-movie horror double feature.

Lois continued to back up. Her voice wavered as she spoke. "It's not possible. There are no such things as Vampires."

"Really?" His smile turned mocking. "Just like there are no such things as clones, parallel worlds, or flying aliens from other planets?"

She bumped up against the closet door. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be hanging around with a bunch of bats?" Her voice broke, belying the bravado of her words.

"I've come to claim what should always have rightfully been mine. I told you we were meant to be together and tonight I will make that happen. You and I will be together... forever." His grin turned feral and she could see a drop of saliva roll off one of his fangs. He lunged for her.

With a shriek, Lois ducked under his arms and fled for the other side of the room. She pushed a chair at him, but he swatted it aside like it was made from balsa. "I'm much stronger now than I used to be, Lois. You have no place to hide. Why delay the inevitable?"

She placed the couch between him and her. "I just have to stay out of your reach until Clark gets back."

Lex roared with laughter. "My dear, deluded, Lois; I welcome the arrival of that spandex-clad boy scout. I knew I would have to deal with that infernal irritant eventually. You think I wouldn’t' know that he would never rest until he had freed you from my influence. Of course, in a few minutes the point will be moot. It will be too late. You will be mine forever."

"Aren't you forgetting something? My husband just happens to be invulnerable. So, it doesn't matter if you have some enhanced strength, nor does it matter that you have those cute little teeth. They'll just shatter on his impenetrable skin." She looked around for an avenue to escape.

"I don't think so." Lex's grin was chilling. "A vampire is a creature of magic, Lois, and didn't I hear somewhere that Superman has some problems when it comes to magic?"

Lois' thoughts flashed back to their encounter with Baron Sunday. She never knew if what the man had done to her husband was actual black magic, or just a clever use of psychological manipulation. She did know that they never found the man. He'd managed to escape them... as if by magic.

Her only thought was to get away. Maybe if she could get out of the house she could reach some neighbors for help. Lois made a move to the right. Lex lunged that way as she'd hoped that he would. She bolted to the left and into the kitchen. She could feel Lex right behind her.

Without thinking, she grabbed one of the kitchen table chairs and swung it with all her might at her pursuer. The stout wooden chair splintered into a myriad of pieces. There were pieces of the chair flying all over the kitchen. It didn't slow Lex down a bit.

In a moment Lois found herself backed up against the sink. She prayed for the arrival of her husband, if only for the distraction, but it looked like the Lane luck had run out. Lex's lips parted in the parody of a grin as he lowered his head toward her exposed neck.

Suddenly, Lois' hand fell upon a piece of a chair leg. It was a fairly substantial piece that had one end broken off in a sharp, jagged point. She allowed herself the briefest of smiles. Maybe her luck hadn't run out after all.

********************

Lois was still sitting on a kitchen chair, in the dark, when she heard the familiar whoosh of a Superman landing in the back yard. She heard the back door open and close.

"Lois?" Clark flipped a light switch. She raised her head and could see the shock and bewilderment on his face as he confronted the strange tableau in front of him. "What happened?"

"Lex came to visit," she said, her voice devoid of any emotion. She was numb. "He was a vampire." She gestured toward the lifeless corpse lying in the middle of the kitchen floor. A piece of a wooden chair leg was sticking out from the chest of the body. She stood, running her hand through her short hair. "If I recall my vampire lore, don't take the stake out. If you do he will revive." She turned and leaned over the sink. Her stomach felt queasy but there was nothing to purge. It was strange, but she was actually hungry. Maybe that was what she was feeling. Her empty stomach.

Clark came over and put his arms around her waist. "Are you all right?"

"I'll live." She turned and tried to smile at him, but it wouldn't quite come. "Could you just get rid of that?" She waved at Lex's corpse. "Take it and drop it into a volcano or something. Just get it out of here... please."

Clark scooped up the body and was gone in a flash. The back draft from his exit mussed Lois' hair. She idly used her fingers to put it back into place. Sitting back down in the chair, her gaze went to the cupboards. She was getting hungry, but she knew what was behind those doors and nothing there appealed to her.

She only had to wait a few minutes until Clark came back. He walked into the room, spun into a t-shirt and jeans, and approached her. She smiled. She was glad he was finally home.

"What happened here, Lois?" He placed his hand against her cheek. She leaned against the hand and pressed her lips against his palm. She could taste him.

She shrugged. "Not much to say. Lex came to the door while you were gone. He claimed to be a vampire and spouted some nonsense about making me his forever." She turned and moved back toward the sink. "He was faster and stronger than I remember. I broke a chair against him and he acted like it was a stage prop. He had me cornered when I happened upon a piece of the chair leg. I placed the shattered chair leg between us as he pressed his body against mine. I guess a wooden stake to the chest will take out anyone, whether they be a vampire or not."

Clark looked befuddled. "Do you really think he was a vampire?"

She shrugged again. "With all that we've seen over the years, who's to say?"

Suddenly his look changed to one of concern. "Lois?" He reached out and turned her head to the side. "You have some sort of wound on your neck." He placed his fingers on her neck. "It looks like a couple of puncture wounds. Are you sure you're okay?"

She turned and shoved him. Clark went flying back to land with a crash against the far wall. "Oh, I'm more than okay." Her lips parted to reveal a pair of enlarged canines. "I'm positively fantastic." She moved toward him as he struggled to his feet. "I'm just a bit hungry, that's all." She giggled. "I wonder how Kryptonian blood will taste."

"Lois! Fight this. We can get you help. There must be a way to undo this." Clark held his hands out in front of him, holding her away from him.

"Undo this! Why would I want to undo this? I'm immortal now. I can feel the power growing within me. It feels wonderful." She launched herself at her confused husband; they both fell to the floor. It took all his strength to hold her back. She kept lunging forward, snapping at his neck.

"Lois, no!" He exerted himself and finally was able to shove her off him. He scrambled to his feet. She quickly got back to her feet.

There were still many pieces of the broken chair lying about the kitchen. She saw his eyes go to one. It was one of the back braces which had splintered off when she had struck Lex with the chair.

She grinned. "So now you know. Before Lex impaled himself he did manage to get his fangs into me. I guess I'm one of the undead now too." She began to move toward him.

He bent down and grabbed the piece of wood. "Lois, back off. We need to talk about this."

She positively cackled. "Time for talk is over... honey. Just put that little stick down. We both know that you aren't going to use it against me. I'm Lois, your wife and lover. I'm your soul mate. Just give in. Imagine what we could do together." Her eyes blazed and her mouth was beginning to water. "It will be hard to contain myself, but I promise I won't drain you. Instead we can be truly united for all time."

"Lois, don't!" She paid him no head, but leapt forward toward him.

Her world exploded in pain. She staggered back staring, dumbfounded, at the slender wooden dowel that protruded from her chest. She looked up at Clark, confusion in her eyes. He was crying. "How could you?" She saw his mouth open, but didn't hear any sound. Everything faded to black.

*********************

Lois awoke with a start. She was twisted up in the sheets and sweat covered her face. It took her a few moments to slow her breathing. Once she got it back to normal, she took stock of her surroundings. She was in bed, in her bedroom. It had just been a bad dream. Maybe she shouldn't have eaten all that extra candy she didn't give away to the kids last night.

She glanced over, but Clark wasn't in his side of the bed. "Clark?" She heard no answer, so she got out of bed and padded her way down the stairs. "Clark?"

"I'm out here." The voice came from the back yard patio. "It's a beautiful day. Come on out."

She glanced out the window. She blinked, and pulled back from the sudden onslaught of brightness. She didn't know what time it was, but the sun was up and shining brightly. It was much too warm. She moved away from the window.

"I don't think so." Her lips parted and her tongue slid across her teeth. Her grin became feral, causing the light from the overhead fluorescent fixture to glint off the overly long canines. "Why don't you come in here? I think it's time for breakfast."

BOO!