Greetings from the magical land of dial-up!
If you're wondering why I've decided to inflict this heinous fic on you, here it is: I was on IRC for the first time in ages, and Rachel popped in. She wanted to know if I'd be writing any more comedies. I tried to explain that my Muse had seemed to undergo a personality reversal, but anyway, I'd see what I could do.
I sat here at my laptop, wondering if my Muse had forgotten how to be funny, and trying to think of a new comedy. (pie...no, stick figures...no, Jimmy as a stick figure eating pie...) I ended up not writing one. So what's this, then? Well, it dawned on me that I had an *old* idea that I was toying with for a sketch. Since I'm not in a position to get any plays off the ground, I decided to write it as a fic. Now, I will run away to avoid the tomatoes.
Oh, and one more thing---I realized after a bit that, dark phase or not, my muse is still her plucky self, and hopefully I'll have some more lighter stuff soon.
In the mean time, hope you enjoy this!
...or at least don't clobber me for it...
*runs*
RESCUED
_______________________
Lois hobbled around on her broken heel for a while before finally cursing and kicking off her shoes in frustration. Looking in the mirror, she frantically tried to pick the leaves and twigs out of her hair.
This was no good...no good at all!
A sudden noise at the window caught her attention, and her back stiffened. Oh no...not him...not now! He couldn't see her like this...
She should hide or something...
"Lois?"
Too late. Lois winced, then slowly turned around to face the blue-tighted hero standing behind her. "Hi, Clark."
He stepped forward, looking her over. "Lois, what's going on? You look dishevelled...and your hair's all messed up. In fact...." Lois lowered her eyes, unable to look at him as he pieced everything together. "Lois, you look like you were just-----rescued from immenent danger!"
She looked up guiltily, and saw him staring at her, dumbstruck.
"Lois?" he croaked.
Lois sighed. She couldn't hide it. She may as well come clean. "It's true, Clark," she whispered. "I was---well---I was in the Gotham City subway, looking for a lead, when suddenly, someone pushed me onto the tracks. Next thing I know, I was---" she gulped, "rescued by Batman."
Clark stared at her, silently, his emotions starting to well up until finally, he exploded. "Batman?! Lois, how could you??!"
"It only happened once," Lois quickly told him.
Clark turned away from her, groaning in despair.
"I was thinking of you the whole time!" she assured him.
He finally looked at her, and his expression was pained. "Lois, how could you? I thought we had something special!"
"We do!" Lois said, taking him by the hand. "Clark, what we have is special! You're the best! You're better than Batman *and* the Flash!"
"The Flash?!" Clark cried, mortified.
Lois dropped his hand, realizing she said too much.
"Lois---" Clark said slowly, his voice cracking on every word. "How many others have there been?"
She bit her lip.
"Lois, tell me," he pleaded. "Who else rescued you?"
Lois let out a breath. "All right." She motioned for him to sit down. He reluctantly sank down onto the sofa, watching her pace. "There was Batman, and the Flash," she said at last.
Clark nodded, feeling a twisting in his gut.
"I was rescued once in an airplane by Green Lantern and Green Arrow," she continued.
Clark blanched.
Lois went on. "There was Blue Beetle, twice---NightWing, Hawkman, Booster Gold..."
Clark buried his face in his hands. "Oh, Lois!"
"Martian Manhunter, Arsenal, Aquaman---"
He groaned.
"Then there was that one drunken episode with Wonder Woman..."
Clark suddenly perked up. He looked up at Lois, reaching out a hand to stop her pacing. "Hold on, tell me more."
