Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic The Roads They Walked Alone Part 55 - Comments

Any and all comments welcome.

Thanks!

Rac

Rac, I have to begin with my admiration for your writing skills. You've created two compelling tales here that you are telling. I don't like New Kryptonians under nearly any conditions. Don't like Zara, or Ching. Could care less about Nor, or any of the other NK denizens. Still, I find myself drawn to the story.

I also hate Lois being saddled with a child (big surprise!). Again, I find myself drawn to her story also.

Since this has the appearance of a neverending story, I guess I should be happy. But there is a fly in the oinment, at least for me.

I'm afraid you are heading for a critical mistake that has been made on more than one occasion.

There was a novel about Lois and Clark by C.J.Cherryh not too long ago. It wasn't bad, but it lacked the heart it needed because it was about Lois... and ... Clark/Superman, not about Lois and Clark. I also wrote a story a while back called 'Day Follows Nightfall' which made the same fundamental mistake. It followed separate storylines for Lois and for Clark and only brought them together for the 'big happy ending'.

I'm afraid, as compelling as your two storylines are, that you are falling into the same trap. Eventually, you will wrap up the NK story arc with Clark, and Lois' dealing with being Ultrawoman and a single mom with a denoument that gives us the big happy reunion; the end.

Both Clark and Lois are facing extremely trying times, and are having trouble dealing with their individual situations. For me, they can't truly overcome their trials completely without the other.

If Clark manages to conquer his fears and self-doubts by himself, or with the help of someone else and is able to come home to Lois with just some bad memories of a terrible ordeal, it won't work for me. Likewise with Lois. It would go against the whole concept of 'together they are stronger than they can be apart'.

Clark needs Lois in order to come to grips with, and finally defeat the trauma that has nearly incapcitated him. Likewise Lois needs Clark to give her the support she needs to overcome her self-doubts and feelings of inadequecy.

I can't say I have any real idea where you are going with this story, but I surely hope that their eventual reunion is not merely the quick happy ever after sign off.

Again, I stress that this is an extremely well-written story. I merely caution against an ending that doesn't include a 'Lois *and* Clark' final resolution.

Tank (who is sure his point wasn't very clear, but hopes that Rac can accept it in the spirit in which it was given)

Hi Tank,

Thanks for commenting and for reading, especially given how much you dislike the types of storylines I'm working with here. I do indeed understand what you're saying and I agree. I also wanted to give you one assurance. This doesn't tie up neatly with a bow - everything back to normal once the story's done and the characters get together for a happy ending. And if and when Clark makes it back home, he isn't going to just step back into life like he hasn't missed a beat. For now, all these two can hope to do is stop the bleeding. The real healing can't take place now while they're apart. That's why there's an entire third story that will be dedicated to it.

Thanks again for commenting.

Rac

So Clark is tempted by Talan, after all.

I was quite surprised by his propositioning her, and thought I had misinterpreted that part but his narrative at the end of this section left no doubt about what had happened. I had really thought that he saw her as a good friend and a respected colleague but not as a potential concubine.

But now Clark's commitment to Lois appears less like it is caused by any strong love for her but instead is just another *test* of his strength. Lois has become merely another part of his duty.

I have really enjoyed this story, although, like Tank I have been missing "Lois and Clark". I'm blown away by your writing, and have been so impressed by how you've developed the characters, both new and familiar, and by an A plot that has so many RL parallels.

And, as you know, I do admire Talan. But not "Talan and Clark".

c.

This was an excellent but singularly harrowing chapter, Rac.

There were so many good and moving things here: Martha's (and Jonathan's) courage and sorrow; Zara's and Ching's attempt to fool Alon to lead them to Lord Nor (I loved the triangulation thing - did you know that is the method you use to measure the distance to the nearest stars?); Lois's internal struggle over what she can and cannot do as Ultrawoman; and the lovely interlude with Lok Sim, Enza and Thia - and I completely loved the downright magical quality of this paragraph:
But the unforgettable and absolutely harrowing aspect of this chapter was the description of Clark's slow mental dissolution, breakdown and meltdown.

As a Swede, I live in a country which has not been at war for 200 years, since the era of Napoleon in the very early 1800s. I have been brought up to think that war is a bad thing and usually unnecessary. I've been taught that war is basically about killing people and stealing and destroying property. And I've been taught that war is a dehumanizing business which is likely to mentally scar and harden the people caught up in it, destroying many of these people's humane, compassionate and generous qualities. Of course I realize that my views of war are simplistic, that we in Sweden have been extremely lucky as well as selfish, sometimes letting other countries fight the wars whose outcomes we have benefitted from, and that war is sometimes really necessary.

Even so, I often question the wisdom or necessity of war. As for the Lois and Clark TV show, I hated the idea that Clark would go to New Krypton to fight a war on a world where he would have no superpowers, instead of remaining on the Earth and using his amazing physical abilities to continue serving as a protector of humanity and a guardian of peace.

In short, I have to admit that I rather dislike the general premise of your story, the idea that Clark has gone to New Krypton to fight a war. You know that you won me over a long time ago with the sheer stellar quality of your storytelling. Amazingly, you have indeed managed to show that even without his superpowers, Clark could make a difference in the Kryptonian war thanks to his wonderful personal qualities.

But in this chapter.... Well, Clark has been reduced to a war-ravaged, trembling, desperate shell of a man. So many of his best and noblest qualities seem to have been destroyed, leaving only pain, anger, selfishness and desperation behind. I found it so interesting, for example, that Clark refused to take any sleeping pills, even though he was unable to sleep and so badly needed to find some blissful nightly oblivion. But while he refused to take sleeping pills, he would have drunk himself into a stupor if he had been able to. Why? Why couldn't he take the sleeping pills, when he wouldn't have said no to drinking himself into unconsciousness?

To me, the infamous feminist, it seems as if Clark's generous and kindly qualities are fraying away, leaving only a wounded male animal. A wounded male who has lost almost everything, and who needs to hang onto his male pride at any cost. I think that Clark considers sleeping pills a weakness, a sissy solution to his problems. Real men don't take sleeping pills. Sleeping pills are passivating, robbing a man of his will and his strength, lulling him into an effeminate, helpless slumber. Alcolhol, on the other hand, stimulates a man's aggressiveness and makes him ready to fight and brawl.

I think Clark is reaching desperately for his aggressive masculinity in this chapter. When everything else has failed, his angry maleness might sustain him. And that is also why he, for the first time as far as I can see, really considers having sex with Talan. But not because he is in love with her; rather because that is what real men do to work off their frustrations: they go to the best little whorehouse in Texas to spill their seed between the thighs of a prostitute.

I have rarely seen Clark coming apart at the seams the way he is doing in this chapter. And I wonder how long he can remain *Clark*, the good, noble, kind man who who never forgets to consider the feelings of others. Who believes in altruism and the lessons his parents taught him about good and evil. Will we see Clark succumb to what most of us would probably consider evil? It could be having loveless sex with Talan, or it could be becoming cruel and sadistic on the battlefield.

I will not try to guess what will happen to Clark, if he will cross important moral dividing lines, and if so, how far into the realm of "evil" he will venture. But I do believe this. Clark will return to the Earth, to Lois. And when he does so, he will try to find - not the man he used to be, because that man is probably gone forever - but another man, another good and moral man who can find it in himself to believe in good things and become a person worthy of other people's trust. In other words, Rac, after reading this chapter, I can't help feeling that the next major part of this trilogy, the story of Clark's return to the Earth, will ultimately be about his moral redemption, about leaving the darkness of war behind and making his way into his own personal light again.

Ann

Hi,

Great part! Beautiful!

Love Jonathan and Martha trying to deal with his absend.


I hope so!


Lets get them down!

Uh Wow...

Amazing...

~Lois Lane Wanna Be

Just wanted to post a correction of what I wrote above about Clark propositioning Talan in the vid-chat. What he was asking her for was to teach him her meditation skills. So that puts Talan's vow to Lois in a different light, too.

Clearly memory challenged.

Gotta say that Talan is astonishing.

c.

I know that's not from the story but I just thought TOC made an awesome point. Clark can't be the same person again. Anyone who goes through a dramtic life changing experience can't do it without leaving a part of their soul behind. You are tempted with things like adultry, and you are more likely not to trust people.

There is a strong human element to this story and I also find it interesting one of the charachters said that Clark's reactions were "human". Funny how these people (all orginally human if you remember the story's first instalment) still refer to themselves by that title.

PS: Rac I also love how use Clark and Kal-El intermitently through the piece (when refering to Clark). I think if you didn't use both, you would lose hope in him ever returning home because once the use of the Earth name dies, all is lost.

~Lois Lane Wanna Be

Hi everyone,

Thanks for commenting. When I posted this section, I was bracing myself for all sorts of reactions, including the possibility of absolute silence, so I'm very glad you all took the time to comment. I know that this section didn't sit well with everyone and that it involved exploring some rather dark thoughts.

Carol, I'm glad that the ambiguities in the conversation between Clark and Talan have been clarified. I have tweaked my file to make it clear what Clark was talking about when he was looking to Talan for help. I agree that Talan's promise to Lois is far different given this understanding.

Thank you for commenting, Ann. I know that Clark's thoughts here are difficult to stomach, and you're right that these thoughts have their genesis in his horrific experiences. From my perspective, Clark's often contradictory and irrational thoughts aren't necessarily the result of some subconscious hyper-masculinity asserting itself. I've never felt that Clark has any need, conscious or unconscious, to be the macho hulk type. But he is a very controlled person. I don't think this an exclusively masculine trait; I think I'm a pretty controlled person, as are a lot of other women I know. For Clark, it's not just a personality trait or a conscious decision - his entire life he's had to exercise a great deal of control. I don't think that you can go through childhood with an enormous secret that you think could result in your parents being harmed or you being separated from them without becoming a very controlled person.

At least in American society, there is still a certain negative connotation to the notion of someone needing to take sedatives regularly. It suggests an inability to cope, which is not something I think Clark would be able to tolerate. It's entirely possible that Kryptonian society doesn't have this stigma, but I think Clark is going to revert back to his standard frame of reference, especially when challenged.

Alcohol, unlike sedatives, doesn't carry the same sort of connotation that perscription medication would. Assuming Kryptonians did drink, if Clark started hitting the bottle hard, he could hide that more easily than if he were taking perscription drugs. I think that the perception of being in control is almost as important to Clark as actually being in control. I'm not saying I agree with the perception that using sedatives suggests some sort of weakness of character and I don't think Clark would hold other people to this standard, but we know he expects more from himself than he does of others.

So why is Clark, who considers control to be part of his character, considering such shocking behavior? I see Clark as being extremely self-destructive at this point. He is looking to destroy the last things he recognizes in himself, most importantly, his love for his wife. But he cannot do it. He cannot even seriously consider it without making himself ill. In my opinion, this is not about temptation or desire. Desire and tempation are ordinary, human emotions. The urge to destroy the best of who you are strikes me as far more dangerous.

I do agree that we are seeing Clark stripped bare of everything - no social niceties, no pretense, no support network, and no hope. The only thing left is the core of who he is. Along with Clark, we're going to learn what sort of man he really is. I think you're exactly right that the Clark who left Earth doesn't exist any longer. He is going to struggle to become a man he can respect.

Hi Maria, thank you for your comments. I'm glad that you enjoyed this section and that you're still reading faithfully.

Thank you for commenting, LLWB. I agree that traumatic experiences change us and that Ann captured that beautifully in her post. Clark, as you noted, still thinks of himself as 'Clark.' Zara does as well. She's one of the few people who knows anything about Clark's life prior to his becoming the First Minister. Even if he's not the person he was before all this happened, he has to hang on to what matters to him. That's what I wanted to convey here - his love for Lois is the last good and decent thing he recognizes in himself and he has to hold onto that for dear life.

Thanks for reading and commenting everyone. I know this section was rather bleak, so I really appreciate your sticking with the story.

Rac

Another detail I've forgotten - when did Talan stop meditating? Or is it that the meditation no longer works to repress her emotions? Or has she developed some form of meditation that helps get her through what she has to do but doesn't de-sensitize her emotionally? But if the latter's the case, it wouldn't make sense not to teach that technique to Clark or to take him to her guru. (that last phrase invites satire, I'm thinking, but I can't come up with any other term this early in the morning except 'Jedi-master' and well... ) Or has she subconscioulsy been cutting back on meditating because of her horror at the side-effects?

c.

Hi Carol,

Fair question. I'm going to run with your Jedi metaphor. Let's think of meditating as having something akin to a light side and a dark side. The light side is the everyday sort, which Kryptonians, to varying degrees, use. Tired and don't have time to sleep? Meditate. Don't want to deal with the pain of childbirth? Meditate. Conflicted and need to clear your mind? Meditate. Talan still engages in this sort of meditation fairly regularly and she is probably better than pretty much anyone at it. (I know I run the risk of making the character absurd given all the things she's good at, but I figure it's the meditation that makes her an incredible soldier - if you can turn the body into nothing more than the mind's perfect instrument, unconcerned by pain, fatigue, hunger, fear, and extremes of climate, you will be a pretty darn effective soldier).

The 'dark side' of mediation dissociates not mind from body, but emotions from intellect, so you can cram down the emotions. Talan used to practice this regularly and it isn't hard to see why. Incapacitating PTSD probably isn't a good trait for the perfect soldier. A little ways back in the story, this stopped working. It finally backfired one night in the gymnasium, as you may recall. Instead of clearing her mind, trying to meditate sent her into a waking nightmare. As she told Clark, the 'dark side' of meditation isn't a permanent fix-all. It changes you, it leaves you numb and emotionally incapacitated, and if you try to overuse it, it'll backfire on you. She learned that the hard way. Now, she's overwhelmed by all manner of nightmares and emotional burdens and hardly has the capacity to deal with them.

In the previous section, we learned that it took her weeks after that breakdown just to get back to the point where she could engage in any sort of meditation and that it wasn't doing anything to get rid of the nightmares. If she, as one of the most powerful masters of meditation around with better than two decades of practice, can no longer harness the 'dark side' (and personally, I don't think she wants to - she doesn't seem to like what that form of meditation has done to who she is) and can't use the 'light side' to really lessen the emotional burden, Clark isn't likely to have any more success. In this past section, he told Tao Scion that meditation wasn't working. He asked Talan to teach him the 'dark side' and she refused.

I will try to fill in more of the details surrounding this issue in upcoming parts, including how it affects both of these characters.

Thanks,


Rac

Rac, in your previous response, you wrote about Talan:
I don't think you're making her absurd at all. We all know of people who are extrordinary in their chosen profession, and Talan happens to be one of those who is also a Renissance woman, in that she's good at multiple things. But you've given her a fatal weakness - Clark - which threatens to completely overwhelm her. Her story is compelling, because in spite of all her special talents and tremdous abilities, there is one thing against which she must be on guard every second of every day, even while she sleeps. She's as human as any other character in this wonderfully complex tale, and she's turned into one of my favorites. I hope she lives and finds some kind of peace when Clark finally does go home (since you've told us there's a third tale, you've kinda spilled a few beans there).

Let Lok Sim Live!

Thanks, Rac, for the expalantion. Yes, I remember that scene. But now I'm looking back at it differently than I first did. At that time I was caught by the intensity of Talan's inner fury - I really thought she was about to erupt in a burst of irrational violence. I still am thinking that's a possibility. But now I'm wondering if her feelings for Clark aren't equally part of that extreme response - that the intensity of those feelings for Clark would be different had she not become a "meditation abuser", so to speak. Her emotions, whether they be hate or love, are out of balance.

Anyway, interesting stuff.

Oh, and still seconding Terry's
c.

Hi Terry. Thanks for your comments. I'm glad to hear that you find Talan to be a plausible character. I've always been a bit concerned about pushing this character across the line into the realm of the mythical. I agree that she's so much more compelling and human because she has to constantly fight her feelings. It is terribly unfair that I've turned something that's generally a very positive feeling - strong and selfless love for someone else - and turned it into something dangerous in her case, but then again, I've been very mean to my characters, so Talan should consider herself lucky I haven't been even more cruel.

Carol, that's a very interesting take on Talan's epiphany. My reading of it is the reverse - that her breakdown was caused because the feelings she's trying to suppress are so tremendously powerful. She's got five years' worth of guilt and grief to bury and is trying to add to that her love for one man and her intense hatred of another. Alone, any one of these emotions would have transformative power over many people's lives and she's trying to sublimate all of them.

Thanks again for all of your comments, everyone. One of the absolute pluses of posting a story in parts is the opportunity to have a fascinating discussion with all of the wonderful readers about their interpretations and takes on the characters and storylines as they unfold.

More soon!

Rac