For Ann's inner romantic and Terry's eternal springing hope.

From Last Time:

"Well, I'm done with the diplomats and politicians. I can't take them anymore."

"Perry did mention that Ultrawoman stopped returning the White House's calls," her mother-in-law noted.

"You think I'm going about this all wrong, don't you?"

Martha rinsed off another dish. "No. I don't know what you should be doing, but I think you've been too hard on yourself. You have done so much good in this world and we are so proud of you. You should be proud of what you've accomplished."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Lois murmured. "And I want to believe it. But I'm so angry and so frustrated. And I feel like there isn't anything I can do about it. I'm not used to feeling so…so helpless."

"I know," Martha replied. "Jon will be up from his nap soon. Why don't you spend some time with him?"

Lois nodded. She had a column to write and patrols to fly. But spending time with her son was far more important.

********

New Stuff:


She stepped into the apartment, physically exhausted but still more weary in spirit. The trip in the transport had been hellish – a dust storm and severe winds causing nauseating turbulence. The week she'd just spent had been no more relaxing. She desperately wanted to sleep. To lie in her own bed, close her eyes, and not think about Silban. Lok Sim was immediately there to take the bag from her shoulders and place a reassuring hand on the small of her back. "How are you?" he asked, his deep voice soft and low.

Enza merely looked up at him through watery eyes and he quickly dropped the bag and pulled her into his arms. She felt so safe in the strong circle of his embrace. "Do you want to talk about it?" he murmured.

She looked up at him and nodded. "But first I want to say goodnight to Thia," she replied. He let her go and she retreated to her niece's room.

Thia was fast asleep, exactly as she should have been at that obscenely late hour. The fact that Lok Sim wasn't asleep when she'd arrived, but was dressed for bed, suggested he'd decided to wait up for her. She would have understood if he'd gone to sleep, but she couldn't help but be relieved to find him waiting for her when she'd come home. Thia looked so small, so innocent and unaware of the cruelties and dangers this world had witnessed. Enza had a responsibility to protect that innocence, and to seek punishment for those who'd snatched away the innocence from other children. And from their mothers and fathers. She bent down to kiss her sleeping niece goodnight before withdrawing from the darkened room.

Back in the other room, she sat beside him on the couch and felt his arm come around her shoulder, solid and reassuring. He pulled her close and she lay her head against his chest. "What happened?" She felt the words rumble deep in his chest.

"It was even worse than I thought it would be. What Nor did to those people. What they endured. What he took from them…"

"You're doing everything you can to help them," he replied, sounding so sure of that simple statement.

"I wanted to tell them it'll get better, but I don't know if it will. I still miss them so much," she whispered, thinking of her own family. Of the people she'd loved and lost to this war. "It's been five years and it still hurts so badly."

She felt him squeeze her shoulders. "I know," he said softly.

"I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't know if I'm really trying to help these people or…" Or if she was trying to atone for her failure to do anything for her own family. "I should have been there with them when they died. I left and I survived…"

"Shhh," he soothed as he effortlessly pulled her onto his lap. "If you hadn't left, if you hadn't survived, who would have taken care of Thia?"

Enza screwed her eyes shut tight. She felt so small and childlike engulfed in his embrace. The stories of the survivors still rang loudly in her ears, echoing her own memories – the horrible night she'd learned what had happened to her family, the violent grip of nausea as she'd demanded the news be repeated, the unending trip back to a place that had once been home.

"Your family would be so proud of everything you've accomplished. Of everything you're still doing to help."

"I'm not sure I've done much of anything," she heard herself murmur.

"When Commander Ching was on trial and I had to testify for him, I don't think I could have been more nervous if it had been my own life at stake. But you talked me through it. You were with me the entire time. A good man's life was in your hands and you were still so patient and kind. You saved Commander Ching's life when almost everyone else had already written him off for dead. I know you're going to fight just as hard for Nor's victims and you will show them the same compassion, the same gentleness of spirit that made me fall in love with you." He kissed her temple. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she murmured against his neck, her eyes still closed, unable to focus on anything besides the rise and fall of his body with each breath and the steady sound of his heartbeat, lulling her to sleep.

********

He lifted her up easily in his arms, moving slowly so as not to wake her. He carried her to her bedroom and gently laid her on the bed. She was still dressed in her uniform, but he doubted he could undress her without waking her and wasn't altogether certain she'd appreciate the effort on his part. At least she'd already taken off her boots. He stood up straight, turning to look for a blanket he could cover her with, when he felt her take his hand. Lok Sim looked back down at her in the darkness to see her watching him. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you."

He started to back away to grab the blanket folded neatly at the foot of her bed. The same blanket he'd used this past week, sleeping in her room while she was away. Of course, the room was completely different when she wasn't in it; it was just a room – four walls, a bureau, and a bed. Now, with her here, it was decidedly her room. Her space. A place he couldn't be in without being acutely aware of her.

"Where are you going?" she asked. "It's too late for you to leave."

He swallowed roughly. It would take forever to summon a transport at this time of night and would take even longer for him to walk halfway across the colony to his own apartment. "I'll sleep on the couch," he managed.

"You won't fit," she pointed out matter-of-factly.

And she was right – he wasn't going to get all of his 6'4" frame comfortably on that couch. "I'll be fine," he assured her.

"You could stay here," she murmured. "If you don't mind…"

He certainly didn't mind. He nodded, trying not to seem too anxious. Lok Sim stepped around to the other side of the bed as she slipped under the covers. He pulled back the bedclothes and lay down beside her. Turning on his side to face her, he kissed her softly. "Goodnight," he whispered.

"Goodnight," she replied drowsily. She closed her eyes, still smiling, and was soon asleep. Tired as he was, he couldn't bring himself to try to do the same. Propped up on his elbow, he silently watched her sleep, listening to the deep, even sounds of her breathing. An hour, maybe longer, passed. They'd have to be up soon, he thought to himself. Her eyes opened and she smiled at him. "Did I wake you again?" he asked as he brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

She shook her head and put her small hand on his chest as he kissed her. "What time is it?"

"It's still early," he told her as he draped one arm around her. She rested her head against his shoulder and looked up at him with those warm, dark eyes that made him want to kiss her again. He lowered his head to cover her lips with his. He deepened the kiss as his arms, seemingly of their own volition, pulled her closer in his embrace. His heart thundered in his chest, beating wildly out of rhythm. He exhaled breathlessly and murmured, "is this what you want?" Lok Sim expected her to suggest they stop. His own senses were rapidly becoming clouded and he hardly trusted himself to think rationally. "We don't have to…"

She quieted him by pressing a single finger against his lips. "I need this," she whispered.

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and kissed her fiercely. Her arms looped around his neck, her fingers running distractingly through his short hair. He trailed soft, open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, up to her ear, before capturing the soft lobe between his lips. He smiled at her sharp intake of breath. Lok Sim buried his face against her neck, breathing deeply the soft scent of her skin. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you," she replied. He felt her hands trail down to his sides and slip under the hem of his shirt. Her hands felt warm on his skin, but he couldn't help the shiver that ran through him, his muscles tightening reflexively under her touch. He lifted his arms to allow her to slip the shirt off him.

He undressed her slowly and intently, allowing himself to learn every smooth plane, soft curve, and warm hollow of her body. Lok Sim paid worshipful homage to every inch of her, hoping to convey just how much he loved her – how much he cherished her – with each touch.

Much later, they fell asleep in a tangle of limbs, his arm around her, her head pillowed on his chest.

********

She woke still curled up beside him, naked but not vulnerable. No, she felt too safe for that, too comfortable in his embrace. He always offered everything of who he was and never asked her for more than she was willing to give. He always took every first step, every risk.

Until last night.

She needed him to know that she loved him completely, that she trusted him completely, even if that thought frightened her a little. She felt his hand stroke gently up and down her arm and she looked up to see him smiling almost shyly at her.

"Good morning," he murmured.

"Good morning," she replied, trying to stifle a yawn. She gave him a nervous, hopeful smile.

"What is it?" he asked happily.

"I was just thinking how nice this is."

"It's wonderful," he replied.

"Incredibly wonderful," she agreed. "I wish every morning were like this." Off his startled look, she hastily backtracked. "It's too soon to be talking about the future, isn't it? I just meant that…"

"Not if you're ready to. Talk about it, I mean," he cut her off almost anxiously. He sat up and touched her cheek, kissing her gently.

"I am," she replied breathlessly. "I love you so much. I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up with you every morning. I want to spend the rest of my life with you," she admitted, laying all the frightening emotions bare. It was her turn to hold nothing back. To take the tremendous risk.

He responded by kissing her deeply, pulling her into his arms, and falling back against the pillows with her still held securely in his embrace. "I love you," he whispered between kisses. "And I want the same thing. Let's get married."

"When?" she murmured against his lips.

"As soon as we tell everyone and find a judge," he replied simply.

********

She couldn't stop smiling at him as they prepared breakfast. The grin on his face told her he was as happy as she was. The sound of footsteps behind her caused Enza to turn around. Thia stopped in her tracks, a bright smile on her little face.

"You're home!" her little niece exclaimed.

Enza lifted Thia up in her arms, hugging her tightly. "I'm home," she said softly.

"When did you get back?"

She lowered Thia back to her feet. "Very late last night. I didn't want to wake you up. Did you behave while I was away?"

Thia nodded. "I even helped Lok Sim make dinner."

Enza smiled happily. She looked up at Lok Sim as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "We have very good news," she said. "Lok Sim and I are getting married."

Her niece's eyes grew wide with delight. "And then he's going to come here and live with us?"

"That's right," Lok Sim said. Excitedly, Thia threw her arms around him. Lok Sim wrapped one arm around the little girl and pulled Enza closer to him. Enza's heart soared. She couldn't remember ever feeling happier or more content.

********

"It's a girl," he said, his eyes sparkling merrily. "We're going to have a little girl."

Talan smiled at her younger brother's image on the communications screen. "I'm so happy for you and Ama," she said softly.

"We both said we would be happy just so long as the baby was healthy, but I know Ama was hoping for a daughter," Serick continued.

"And everything is all right?" Talan asked.

"Everything is perfect," he confirmed. Everything was indeed perfect. Serick looked happier than she could ever remember seeing him. "So when can we expect to see you?"

"I'm on an assignment right now, I'm afraid," she said. "It'll be at least a few weeks before I can visit."

"Some clandestine, extraordinarily important mission, I presume?"

"We're building an irrigation system," she clarified.

Serick chuckled softly. "I need to put the boys to bed."

"Goodnight, younger brother," she said. "Give my love to Ama and the boys."

"Goodnight, older sister. I will" he replied.

********

Clark looked at the Chief Jurist in his long silver robes, standing at the front of the formal gathering hall. His hands were clasped in front of him as he waited for the ceremony to begin. Clark's 'marriage' to Zara had been consecrated in this very room, by the same judge. But unlike that wedding, this one was most definitely the real thing. In fact, this ceremony reminded him a bit of his actual wedding. Like Lois, Enza's wedding was being officiated by her surrogate father figure. The ceremony itself was a small affair – Lok Sim's family and a few other guests were there – and it was all arranged at the last moment.

Thia stood in front of him, his hands on her tiny shoulders. She looked up at Clark, a beaming smile lighting up her face. The doors on the other side of the hall opened and Enza and Lok Sim entered. They walked toward the Chief Jurist, unable to take their eyes off one another and unable to stop smiling. Just like him and Lois, it was clear that they were utterly and completely in love with one another. Clark watched as they approached the Chief Jurist. Something unfamiliar stirred inside him.

It was hope.

For the first time since he'd arrived here, he felt hopeful for the people of New Krypton. He watched as the young man and woman walked toward their future together. They were kind and decent people, part of the first generation born on this inhospitable planet to a seemingly doomed race, two people who had endured too much difficulty and heartache in this war, and had somehow managed to find one another. There was hope yet for this world – cold, harsh, and cruel though it was – because it had produced these two wonderful people

The towering, soft spoken engineer and the brilliant young lawyer stood in front of the Chief Jurist. The older man smiled with almost paternal pride at his protégé and her fiancé. Lok Sim took Enza's much smaller hand in his and held their joined hands in front of them. The Chief Jurist took the long strip of cobalt blue cloth and wrapped it around their linked hands. Out of the corner of his eye, Clark saw Zara standing beside him, stealing furtive glances at Ching.

"You have decided to bind yourselves to one another, to walk through this life together. To share its joys and its sadness, its difficulties and its rewards. To comfort and care for one another," the Chief Jurist said. He turned toward Lok Sim. "Lok Sim, do you choose to bind yourself to this woman, to pledge your honor to her, and to share your life with her?"

"I do so gladly," the young man said, his deep voice clear and unwavering. He turned and smiled at his bride.

"Enza, do you choose to bind yourself to this man, to pledge your honor to him, and to share your life with him?"

"I do so gladly," she replied, smiling broadly.

Clark felt the briefest sting of tears in his eyes as the Chief Jurist removed the bolt of cloth. "You have no further need of this artifice, because what binds you to each other is stronger than steel and more delicate than a single thread. It is more eternal than the stars and more precious than anything in this world or any other. May you know great happiness and may your burdens be light and easily born. And may fortune be with both of you for the rest of your lives."

Clark looked down as Thia tugged on his hand. The little girl looked so happy. He squeezed her shoulder gently. Hand in hand, Enza and Lok Sim walked toward them. Thia ran toward her aunt and uncle, who welcomed her with open arms. Holding Thia, Lok Sim turned toward Clark. "We want to thank you for sharing this day with us, sir," he said. "It means a great deal to all three of us."

"I can't tell you how happy I am for you," Clark replied. "I've spoken to Rab Dun and Mar Dov; they know that they'll have to make do without either one of you for a week."

Enza gave him a questioning look. "Sir?"

Kryptonians may not have had the concept of a honeymoon and New Krypton may have been sadly lacking in vacation destinations, but they certainly deserved to have some time together. To be with one another. Better than anyone, he knew how precious time was. He'd had just one night with his wife. More than three years had passed and all he had for comfort was the memory of one night. One night he wouldn't have traded for anything in the world. He smiled faintly. "Enjoy your time off. You deserve it."

"Thank you, sir," Lok Sim said, still smiling.

"Yes, sir, thank you so much," Enza said breathlessly.

********

"The reconstruction plan you've proposed is quite bold, sir," Rab Dun explained as she walked beside him through the administrative compound's maze of hallways.

"But it's doable, right?" Clark asked.

"I believe so," the middle-aged engineer replied. "Of course, the network repairs would be moving faster if my top communications engineer were available."

Clark stopped mid-step and turned toward his Chief Engineer, his brow arched. "Is that a criticism?" he asked in jest.

Rab Dun's sharp mind didn't rise to the bait. "A mere observation, sir," she clarified. "We move more slowly without Lok Sim."

"Well, you can have him back in a week."

"Sir…"

Clark held up a hand to cut her off. "He and his wife have been working nonstop since the beginning of the war. They deserve the break and a chance to spend some time together before you and I have them working day and night again."

Rab Dun nodded, knowing when to concede. "I never realized you were such a romantic, sir."

He smiled. "I know your engineer makes your life easier, but your engineer also makes my lawyer very, very happy. And when my lawyer's happy, she makes my life easier. I promise, he'll be back in a week."

"Thank you, sir," she said. "I will have a full briefing for you on the status of the project tomorrow."

"Thank you," Clark replied.

"If you require nothing further…" Rab Dun bowed as she began to back away.

Clark shook his head. "That's all." They parted ways as Clark headed toward the gymnasium.

In the deserted gym, he began practicing the meditative techniques Talan had been showing him. They were no cure-all for his troubles, but they helped a bit. Practicing them gave him a chance to clear his head, to take the step back he needed before he could try to get perspective.

But perspective didn't always make things look brighter. When he could look at the things he'd done, the things he'd said or thought, or wanted, with some distance, he realized how much poison he'd introduced into the world around him. He'd been full of anger and rage and he'd turned those emotions loose on others – the bitterly dismissive way he'd rebuffed every attempt Zara had made to reach out to him, his inexcusably rude behavior toward his birth parents' dearest friend, the constant, crippling, second-guessing of every decision, the things he'd thought about Talan.

He closed his eyes, disgusted by the very memory. What kind of man was he? Stripped of his polite upbringing, the good manners, the Boy Scout façade, was he really at heart nothing more than an animal? Some atavistic barbarian who didn't give a damn about anyone else? Talan was a far better person than he was – decent, compassionate, humane – and he'd…objectified her. He'd never imagined he was capable of such base, degrading thoughts. But then, a man at the end of his rope, looking for a place to tie the noose, was apparently capable of just about anything. Maybe that was an excuse. Maybe he was nothing more than a monster. Maybe Clark Kent had been the lie.

We all see something in ourselves we don't like, something we wish weren't there. What matters is what we do about it.

Ironically enough, it was something Talan had said to him. There was a darkness in him – a black and seeping cancer – but perhaps there was a chance that it wasn't *who* he was. What if he could fight it? What if he could beat back the darkness? Overcome his demons?

He could start by being a better friend to her. Their friendship had been a one-way street – he looked to her for guidance and support and couldn't offer it in return. And it wasn't as though she didn't have to deal with the stress and pressure. In so many ways, he'd at least been insulated from many of the terrible decisions he'd had to make. Every order calling up more reserves – tearing apart families, ending young lives – bore his signature, but she was the one who had to lead them into battle. She was the one who had to look them right in their nervous, anxious eyes, and command them into a fight that would cost some of them everything, and would take something from every one of them.

She'd offered herself up to satisfy this world's bloodlust. She'd been willing to lay her soul – bright and beautiful and pure – on its sacrificial altar and he'd tried to reduce her to a body, an object to cleave away the fragment of good that remained in him from the detritus he'd become.
No longer. If there was any hope for him, any hope at all, he had to ensure that he would never again become the man who'd sought to turn friendship into destruction, who'd tried to pervert compassion and twist it into degradation. It was lucky for everyone that he'd sunk to the lowest possible depths alone, because in that moment, he would have defiled anything he touched.

He opened his eyes, his thoughts disquiet, but he was determined. No one had ever said that clarity and peace of mind were the same thing.

********

"Hey, Lois is in the office today." She could hear Ralph's voice from within Perry's office. She stepped out into the bullpen in hopes of getting another cup of coffee. Perry had been called to the printing floor to deal with some problem or other, leaving her to simply wait.

"Seriously…" Ralph continued between mouthfuls of doughnut. Lois tried to ignore him as she added the creamer to her coffee. She picked up a stirrer and two packets of actual sugar. "I mean who gets married, has a kid, and looks that hot?" Lois threw the stirrer violently into the trash bin. Ralph started walking toward her, still talking to Pete from Sports. She should have turned and walked straight back into Perry's office. She should have tuned the jackass out entirely. She should have hummed the Battle Hymn of the Republic so as to block him out.

"Talk about a single mom I'd like to…"

She didn't know how it happened, but suddenly she found herself gripping Ralph's loud, ugly, mismatched tie, pinning him against one of the load-bearing pillars. "What was that?" she demanded.

"Geez, Lois, what's with the grip?" Ralph sputtered.

Her eyes narrowed as she stared hard at the useless lump. "What did you call me?" she practically spat.

"You heard that 'single mom' crack? What are you some kind of bat?" he sputtered.

"I am a married woman, Ralph. Can you get that through your thick skull?"

"Right, yeah, sure," Ralph stammered nervously.

"Uh, Lois? Perry needs you," Jimmy called out.

She looked up, realizing that everything in the newsroom had come to a complete halt. Every pair of eyes was fixed on her. She slowly let go of Ralph's tie. He squirmed away from her, tugging at his collar. "Right," she murmured. She followed Jimmy toward the elevator.

"I know he must have deserved it, but what did Ralph do?" They stepped into the elevator and Lois pushed the 'Door Close' button.

"He was making some single mom comment," Lois said.

She saw Jimmy wince. "Wow, Lois, I'm sorry."

Lois bit her lip. "Well, it's been more than three years, and I haven't even seen my husband since we got married," she said unsteadily. "It's not exactly what most people would consider a marriage."

Jimmy pulled the 'Stop' knob. She closed her eyes and hugged her young friend tightly. "You know, it's still so hard," she murmured.

"I know," he whispered. "I know how much you miss him. And I also know Clark. He's going to come back."

"He is," she agreed, feeling tears sting her eyes. And she would be there, waiting for him. If the sun burned out and died and all the stars in the sky were extinguished, if the continents crumbled to dust, if every ocean and river ran dry, and the world split open at its seams and was engulfed by hell itself, it wouldn't make a damn bit of difference. She would keep waiting, until the moment she could welcome him home.