Previously:
"No more fighting," she said. "Let's just *be* for a couple of days and see what happens. If we're friends, if we're more than friends, if we just can't make it work - I'm tired of having to fake everything. Can't we just be ourselves? No pressure from work. No villains. No Superman running off to save someone. Just you and me." She let out a soft laugh. "You and me and thousands of acres of wilderness."
"I can do that."
She felt instantly lighter and she snuggled closer against him. "Let's just be like this. This is all I ever wanted - to have you hold me at the end of the day."
"This is all I ever wanted, too, just to be able to hold you at the end of the day."
"S'nice," she murmured and patted his shoulder.
"Yes, it is." That was an understatement, he thought. This was perfect. He realized he was in so much trouble now. He was never going to be able to let her go. There had to be a way to make this work. He had meant it - he was willing to give up being Superman. He had only been Superman for a few years. It wasn't the first time he had considered giving up the superhero role. How many times had he quit, if only in his mind?
"Clark?"
"Yes?"
"It was the rule of V's."
"What?"
"The rule of V's. Rich told me about the rule of V's on a contour map. Because of erosion the further a stream travels, the wider it becomes so the V will always point upstream. The stream you had us following didn't make a V. That's how I knew that we were heading into a dead end."
"Are we heading into a dead end now?"
She snuggled closer against him. "No."
He smiled at the authoritative way she spoke the word. "How can you be so sure?"
"Because..." She had to pause and clear her throat. "Because I trust in us."
He tipped his head, letting his cheek rest against the top of her head. "Us," he repeated and closed his eyes.
<><><>
Platonic
Part 6/?
<><><>
Clark couldn't decide whether he was dreaming or not. He would doze off, only to be brought back instantly to wakefulness by the twitch of her fingers against his chest or a slurred dreaming murmur from her lips. He was astonished each time to find that she was real. It was better than any fantasy of finding her in his apartment. And yet, it had to be a dream. It was simply too wonderful to be reality.
'Us,' she had told him. She trusted in 'us'. Trusted in 'us' enough to slumber in his arms as though she had spent every night of her life in them. Trusted in 'us' enough to believe that they really could go forward in the morning and find a way to be together.
Until now it had seemed too complicated, too frightening, too fraught with danger to give in to his fantasies of a life with her. Somehow holding her had changed everything. His mind raced, weighing the odds and finding nothing but flaws in his attempt to protect her by keeping his distance.
This was all he had ever wanted - simply to hold her. It would be worth giving up Superman to have this. It would be worth any price he had to pay. Wouldn't she be safer if he kept her close? Wouldn't he be better able to keep her protected if he was always nearby?
She had said that she didn't care what happened in the future or what hypothetical fate might be waiting for her. Being with him was a risk she was willing to take.
Could he take that risk? She had a point - if anything did happen it was going to be very cold comfort that he had never let her close. What if he was wrong - as she had quite literally gone out of her way to illustrate? What if he wasted both their lives in regret? What if this was all he was left with? The memory of having once held her while she slept?
It wasn't enough.
Gradually, as he drifted further and further in sleep, reality became tangled with his dreams until he no longer knew which was which.
<><><>
They were flying - floating, really - high above Metropolis. Lois was wrapped in his cape, her body pressed warmly against Clark's as they kissed soft and slow. Feeling dizzy, she nuzzled his neck to give herself a moment to catch her breath. Now her lips were against the warm skin of his throat and she could feel his pulse beating.
"Clark," she whispered and felt the answering rumble of his moan against her mouth. She murmured his name again as a caress and his arms tightened around her.
Lois opened her eyes and then blinked in confusion. Instead of a vast canopy of stars there was only the soft blue arch of the tent. It was early morning she realized. The only parts of the dream that were real were the feel of his skin against her lips and the fact that she was in his arms. She propped herself onto her elbow to watch him sleep. His face was relaxed in sleep and dark with stubble. His lips were parted slightly and she leaned closer.
She never did get to kiss him one last time she realized. There had been no goodbye kiss when he broke up with her. He owed her that much, didn't he? She bit her lip and weighed her options. One little kiss. That wouldn't hurt anybody. She leaned closer, close enough now to feel the whisper of his breath against her mouth. One little kiss, that was all. She bent and gently kissed his bottom lip.
She was lifting her head away when he moaned softly and his hand moved to the back of her head to hold her there. The big faker! He had been awake the whole time. She was going to give him a piece of her mind - as soon as she finished kissing him.
Only she found that she couldn't stop. How had she managed to forget what kissing him was like? She kissed him slowly and he seemed content just to let her. She wondered at this new, more submissive, side of Clark.
"Lois?" he whispered against her lips.
"Hmm?" she replied, kissing him again.
"Oh god," he moaned when she drew back to take a breath. "Am I dreaming?"
"Yes," she teased him with a soft laugh, "it's all just a dream."
At that his lethargy disappeared. His mouth turned hungrier and he rolled them, his body covering hers as his hand slid beneath the hem of her shirt. She giggled at his touch on her belly, then gasped when his hand moved decisively higher.
"Clark!" She stiffened in surprise. "Oh, I..." she gasped.
As quickly as he had started, his hand was gone.
"I'm not dreaming," he said, horrified. "Oh god, I'm sorry, Lois. I didn't mean..."
He scrambled out of the sleeping bag and she let out a frustrated sigh and pushed herself into a sitting position. "When you asked if it was a dream I thought that was a rhetorical question."
Clark had turned his back to her and was running his hand nervously through his hair.
"Is that what you dream about?" she asked, consumed with curiosity.
Clark was frozen in embarrassment. "No, I, geez, Lois, I didn't..." He grabbed his backpack and began pulling out clothes at random. He wanted to run from the tent - no, make that fly from the tent - and just not come back.
Across the meadow the bell began to clang and Rich started to sing his annoyingly cheerful litany of cliches.
Clark unzipped the tent's flap and crawled out. "I, uh, I'll see you at breakfast."
<><><>
Lois emerged from the tent a few minutes later. She felt almost disoriented. Had that really happened? Was it embarrassment or horror that had driven Clark out of the tent? Or was it simply the sight of her? She had been shocked when she looked at herself in the small mirror she had brought. Her eyes were still puffy from her crying jag the night before and her hair was beyond any help.
As she approached the fire, she saw that everyone was beginning to look a little worse for the wear. Four nights of sleeping on the ground seemed to be taking their toll on all of them.
Jenny was hunched over a steaming mug of coffee. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Once again she and Bob were dressed in matching green sweatshirts. Lois took a seat next to Jenny and looked over at Clark. He was standing near the fire, his hands shoved deep into his pockets. She tried to catch his eye but he was resolutely watching the flames.
"How did you sleep?" Jenny asked.
Lois felt the blush creeping across her cheeks. How had she slept? Honestly she had never slept better. She couldn't decide if it was sheer exhaustion or the comfort of Clark's arms that had made the difference.
"I slept okay," she answered.
"It was a lot colder last night, wasn't it?" Jenny continued.
Lois couldn't decide if Jenny was merely being conversational or not. She shrugged and mumbled, "I was warm enough."
Jenny gave her a knowing smile. "I'm sure you were."
Lois took a self-conscious swipe at her hair. Just how tousled did she look this morning?
From the other side of the fire Brenda said wistfully. "I wish I could take a shower."
"I would kill for a shower," Lois agreed with a sigh. "And something to eat that wasn't freeze dried and then reconstituted."
"Amen to that," Debbie muttered as she sat down on the other side of Lois. "I'm not sure I was cut out to be a camper."
"We used to go camping all the time," Brenda mused, "before the kids. We even went when Scott was a baby, but it was just too much hassle. I used to love it. Maybe I'm getting too old to rough it."
"Age has nothing to do with it," Debbie said. "People just weren't meant to live like this."
"Our ancestors lived far rougher than this," Rich retorted with a mocking grin. "We're already to day five. We're halfway there, ladies! Surely you don't want to quit now?"
Debbie muttered, "Is quitting an option?"
Brenda shot Lois an amused glance and they both bit their lips not to laugh when Rich shot them a disgusted look before he picked up a bucket and walked towards the lake.
"He reminds me so much of George," Debbie told them. "He just makes everything a dare, you know? Everything's a challenge." She lowered her voice in an imitation of George. "C'mon, sweetie, it's only ten days. You can do ten days, can't you?"
Clark glanced across the camp, but George had yet to emerge from his tent.
Jenny nodded and took a sip of her coffee. "You know what's worse? When you insist that total strangers share your views on rule-breaking."
"Oh, here we go," Bob said from across the campfire.
Jenny glared at him and then turned to Lois. "Have you ever known anyone who thinks that his world view is the only thing saving us from anarchy?"
"I think you're overstating it," Bob said and poked the fire, sending up a shower of sparks. "Rules exist for a reason. If people go around breaking them at will, the world would fall into anarchy."
"There's a huge difference between a law and a suggestion, Bob," Jenny said pointedly.
Clark cleared his throat and looked over at Dave's tent. Where was their counselor this morning?
"Do you know what he does?" Jenny asked the group. Even though no one answered she continued talking. "You know those express checkout lines at the supermarket? Ten items or less? Bob will actually stand there and start counting when someone with more than ten items is in line in front of him."
"I just want them to realize that they're breaking the rules," Bob put in.
"It's rude!" Jenny said, standing up and spilling her coffee in the process. "It's just so rude, Bob! Your job is not to police how many cans of corn someone can buy!" Jenny turned and stalked away.
Bob poked at the fire again and sighed. "It's just as rude to blatantly break the rules and expect people to indulge you." He tipped his head back and seemed to consider his options for a moment. "Excuse me," he told them. "I'd better go after her."
George stepped out of the way to let Bob pass. He looked at the shell-shocked expressions around the campfire and asked, "Wow - what did I miss? Did something happen with the Bobsey Twins?"
<><><>
The spat between Bob and Jenny that morning started a chain reaction. By lunchtime nearly everyone was short-tempered. Lois found herself becoming irritated with Clark over things she knew were irrational. It wasn't his fault the rope had become tangled while he climbed. Truthfully, it was her fault. She was the one who had lost focus. When he had finally come back to the ground he had shot her an annoyed look. Was he angry because she was playing fast and loose with his special abilities? Or was he still mortified about this morning?
After lunch - which no one really seemed to eat - Dave stood up and cleared his throat.
"You know, we all spend so much energy thinking about the things we wish we could change about one another. What is it about your partner that you would never change? This afternoon I want you to remember what drew you to your partner. Take a walk together, find a neutral place and do an honest exploration of what you see in each other. Take some time and reconnect." Dave gave them all a beatific smile.
"Reconnect?" Lois muttered as they walked away. "Did he just tell everyone to go have sex?"
"What?" Clark laughed. "As an assignment? I know how competitive you are, but I hope you won't mind if we don't finish first."
She stopped and tilted her head back to look at him. "Is that what you were dreaming about this morning?"
"Lois, I, uh," he stammered and then decided to change the subject. "Come on. We need to stop at the tent first."
"For what?"
"Soap," he said, as if the answer was obvious.
She frowned at him, certain that he was mocking her somehow. "Soap?"
"Didn't you say this morning that you wanted a shower? I know where you could get one."
Lois grabbed his arm in excitement. "Oh my gosh - you're going to fly me into town?"
He grinned at her. "Nope. Something even better."
<><><>
They had been hiking for nearly twenty minutes and Lois was fighting the urge to ask him how much further they had to go. She briefly wondered if he was getting even with her for having let them wander aimlessly the day before. Well, she wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of her asking, so she clutched the towel she was carrying tighter and thought about how amazing it would feel to be clean again.
"Okay," Clark said and stopped in front of her. "It's not much further now. Just keep going up the trail and I'll meet you there."
"Where are you going?" she asked suspiciously.
"I need to grab something, really fast. Just stop when you get to the waterfall."
"Waterfall?" she asked in disappointment and moved past him. "When I said 'shower' I meant with hot water."
There was a sudden gust of wind and she turned around to find him gone. Lois kicked at one of the pebbles on the trail. It was so unfair that he could leave anytime he wanted. He'd already been back to Metropolis. True, he'd brought her back a pillow, but it was still unfair. She went back to trudging up the trail. After a couple of minutes she began to hear the falling water up ahead. She came out of the trees into a small sunlit grotto. The waterfall wasn't very large - maybe a foot wide with a drop of about seven feet into a shallow pool. There was absolutely no sign of Clark.
Lois walked over and sat down on one of the boulders by the water's edge. She shaded her eyes and looked up, but she couldn't see him. Where had he gone? Surely he could have made it to their tent and back by now?
A minute passed, then another, and she found herself being lulled into somnolence by the sunshine and the soothing sound of the water. Her feet felt hot in her boots so she took them off and slid off the rock to dip her toes in the cold water of the waterfall's pool.
"I believe you ordered something not reconstituted?" Clark asked from behind her. Lois swiveled to find him holding out a pizza box. "One large with everything." He lifted the box lid enticingly.
Her face split into a grin. "You brought me a pizza? From where?"
"Antonelli's."
"Oh my gosh!" she squealed and stood up, wincing when her bare feet found the sharp edge of a rock.
"Just stay there," he cautioned. "I'll bring it to you."
As they were eating she looked at the stubble on his face. Impulsively, she reached out and touched his cheek, smiling at the scratchiness beneath her curious fingers. "It's a good thing you're not flying around rescuing people this week. There'd be a bunch of stories about why Superman is growing a beard."
"Yeah, I guess so." His entire body had come alive at her touch.
"I kind of like it," she mused, drawing her thumb along his jaw, then across his lower lip, contrasting the softness of his lip with the scratchiness of his stubble. "It makes you look kind of... disreputable."
"Disreputable?" Thank goodness she didn't know where his thoughts were. Disreputable didn't even begin to describe them.
"Have you ever tried growing a beard?" Something in his eyes made her pulse race and she dropped her hand and looked away. He didn't just look disreputable, he looked downright dangerous. The memory of this morning suddenly made her touching him seem less than innocent.
"Yes, when I was in college. I was trying to look older."
"It didn't come in well?" she asked.
"No, it did."
"And did you look older?"
"Not really. My friends just teased me."
"Poor Clark," she laughed. "I guess you can't grow one now, not unless you want to make the similarities between you and Superman even more conspicuous." She clasped her hands together, fighting the urge to touch him again.
"Yeah, I guess so," he murmured.
Their eyes met and he quickly looked away. He missed her touch. He missed touching her. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and lifted the empty pizza box up. He lowered his glasses and zapped it, leaving only a few ashes that drifted lazily to the ground.
"How about that shower?" he asked.
Lois tilted her head in curiosity. "Did you bring hot water with you, too?"
He took off his glasses and tucked them in the pocket of his flannel shirt. "It will be hot." He stood up and moved to hold one hand beneath the water. He looked up, concentrating on the water tumbling off the ledge. Soon the water had become warm. "Try that."
Lois rose and passed her hand through the water. It was perfect. For a moment she stood, absolutely speechless, as she tried to decide what to do next. "I'm not going to get naked, if that's what you were hoping," she told him.
"I hadn't even thought of that," he said, fighting the urge to glance over at her. His hand flexed, shaping out from memory the way she had fit in his palm.
Lois bit her lip as she wavered. A shower. It was an honest-to-goodness shower. With hot water. He was too busy looking up to be able to watch her. She could just strip down to her underwear, couldn't she? That would be safe. In the end, the lure of warm water won out over modesty and she pulled off her shirt and shorts and stepped beneath the water. She let out a soft sigh and tipped her head back to let the water run over her face. It was perfect - except for the water in the pool, which was swirling cold and warm around her ankles.
She stepped out of the pool for a moment to retrieve the soap and shampoo and then went beneath the water again. She lathered up her hair and then rinsed it with a long contented sigh. Each time she glanced at Clark he was still looking up, concentrating on the water pouring down on her. She flushed; it was somehow incredibly intimate to be bathed in water he had heated.
"How long can you do that?" she asked as she ran the bar of soap along one arm.
"As long as you need."
She turned her back to him, blushing furiously at the thoughts that had started to race through her head. What else could he do as long as she needed? She knew he hadn't meant it in a dirty way, but her mind went there anyway.
She hurried through the rest of her ablutions and stepped out of the water. "Okay, I'm done," she said softly. She ran her fingers through her hair and wished she had thought to bring a comb.
He smiled at her, careful to keep his eyes fixed on her face. "Feel better?"
"Much." She grinned at him and wished he would let his gaze drift. Come on, Clark, she thought. Just see what you're missing.
Clark held his hand out and she furrowed her eyebrows, not understanding what he wanted.
"The soap?" he prompted.
"Oh, right." She handed it to him and their fingers brushed against each other's. Only his quick reflexes saved the soap from falling. His gaze dropped and then he looked away, obviously flustered. She glanced down and saw that her light-colored underwear had become translucent. She crossed her arms, blushing furiously. She hadn't quite meant for him to see everything he was missing.
"I, uh, I guess I'll get dried off now." She half-stumbled backwards towards the towel she had brought.
"Do you want me to dry you off?"
"No!" she blurted out, then softened it by adding, "I meant no, thank you. I'm fine. I, uh, I brought a towel, you know."
Clark turned away and took his shirt off, then his pants. He stood under the waterfall in his underwear and soaped up.
Lois wrapped the towel around her and then looked over at him. Her eyes widened, fascinated by the water sheeting over his back and the flex of his muscles. His dark-colored briefs clung to him, leaving even less to the imagination than the Suit.
It was different, she reassured herself. Her watching him bathe was entirely different than if he had watched her. She was only looking at his back - and she had seen that before. Why hadn't he watched her? Why could he touch but not look?
She faced away from him, toweling herself a little roughly as penance for her wandering mind. Even though her underwear wasn't entirely dry she pulled her clothes back on hurriedly. She turned back around in time to see Clark emerging from the waterfall. She wordlessly held out the towel to him, trying to keep her eyes from straying any lower than his shoulders.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
"Anytime," he answered softly. "If there's anything else I can bring you..."
Clark waited, half-hoping that she would ask him to do something, anything. Let her ask him to fly her somewhere - it would feel so good to fly with her in his arms again. Anything, Lois, he thought. Ask me anything and it's yours.
Instead she looked away, a blush beginning to darken her cheeks. "I, uh, thanks. I'll keep that in mind."
<><><>
Lois was walking ahead of him on the trail back to camp. Her mind was racing as she tried to process just how much credence to give his offer to fulfill her every whim. She should have taken him up on the offer, she chided herself. She should have asked him to do something. But what? She was clean and her stomach was full. She supposed she could wait until tonight and then ask him to fly her home so she could sleep in her own bed.
Just as quickly, she discarded the idea. It wasn't worth the risk of discovery. And it would mean sleeping alone. What did he think about this morning? It was the one thing she wanted to ask him - and the one question she didn't dare to broach. Was he blaming himself for this morning? Surely he knew that she didn't blame him?
"You know," she told him, "I never did tell you one of the things I would never change about you. Do you want to hear it?"
"Yes."
She stopped and turned to face him. "I've always felt safe with you, Clark. Even before I knew about Superman, I always felt safe just being around you."
"Safe," he repeated softly. 'Safe' was the last thing in the world he had expected her to say. Her safety was the reason he had broken up with her. He shook his head ruefully. 'Safe' was all he had ever wanted for her. "Remember how I said I thought you were sometimes reckless?"
"Yes." Her stomach clenched, fearing his next words.
"I would never change that. I meant it when I said I admire that in you. Your fearlessness, your drive, just... you, really. That take-no-prisoners way you pursue anything that interests you. It's... sexy."
"Sexy?" For a moment she was certain that her heart had stopped beating. "Was I being reckless in your dream this morning?"
"No," he whispered and shook his head. "And, obviously, I wasn't very safe to be around."
"I was safe," she whispered back. "I was just surprised."
"I'm still sorry." He ducked his head. "If I had been more awake, I never would have..."
"I know that." She wanted to reach out and touch his hand, but she didn't dare. Touching him now would be reckless - too reckless even for her. She hesitated for a moment longer and then reluctantly turned and continued walking down the trail back to camp.
<><><>
End 6/?
