Notes:
I know at least a couple of people wanted a different ending, so I got to thinking. The main problem was that I didn’t want to make the story *too* absurd, or end it with Lois and Clark’s relationship completely screwed up. So, this is the result, which I’m fairly satisfied with.
I actually think that this ending was better written than the original one, as the plot twists were funnier. However, I still think that it would have been even better if I had found some way of writing my original ending in a more ingenious manner.
Anyways, time to get back to finishing my other story for good now.
-Vincent
****
<alternate ending>
****
When he saw that the bathroom door was safely closed, Clark doubled over on the sofa, supporting himself with one hand as he clutched the other over his rapidly beating heart. What on Earth was he supposed to do now? Didn’t Lois *ever* consider the consequences of her actions? What if she got pregnant? Wait…of course!
Clark sat back up on the sofa just as Lois was reemerging from the bathroom. He mentally breathed a sigh of relief when he saw what she was wearing. It was just an ordinary nightgown – his mind had conjured up horrors of having to face Lois when she was dressed only in skimpy lingerie or perhaps wrapped in a towel. Still, the nightgown left little to the imagination, and Clark felt himself begin to sweat.
As Lois gingerly walked up to him, Clark quickly ran through his plan one last time. However, much sooner than he would have liked, Lois had taken his hand in her own and was purring, “Superman…why don’t we take this somewhere…more private?”
Clark’s pulse rate doubled. Oh god, she was really going to go through with this. He went into action.
“Mmm, I would *love* to, honey. Just wait till our kids are born – I can’t wait to see their little faces!” he said, giving Lois his most indulgent smile.
Lois’s face briefly registered surprise before she recovered. She looked at Clark apologetically before saying, “Oh, Superman. I just took the pill – but you don’t mind, do you?”
Oh, great. Count on consumer pharmaceuticals to ruin everything. Clark could only say weakly, “Oh, no. Of course not.” He wasn’t done yet, though. As Lois walked them ever closer to her bedroom, Clark implemented Plan B.
“Hmm, Lois, after tonight, you have *got* to take me to meet your parents! We’ll have to tell them *all* about how we ended up together!” Clark said, praying that this would work.
Lois frowned. “Superman, I wish I could, but we can’t! You’d understand if you met my parents – I couldn’t share my private life with them!” she pleaded.
Oh, no. Well, so much for trying to use parental disapproval. As they passed through the doorway to stand next to each other beside her bed, Clark started to speak up again, but Lois cut him off, apparently annoyed that he was talking so much. She playfully traced a finger over his mouth while her other hand unfastened his cape.
At that, Clark lost his resolve. Things had suddenly gone too far to turn back now – not if he wanted to remain friends with Lois in the future. Unless he was prepared to do one heck of a lot of explaining which he had no desire to do, he would just have to put out.
Better to live the pleasant dream, and later try to hide the fact that he remembered everything that he had done while he was supposedly under the influence of the pheromones, than to completely shatter Lois’s spirit and self-esteem.
****
<It’s happening! It’s really happening!> Lois thought as she excitedly lifted Superman’s spandex shirt over his head. Then, the sight that greeted her stopped her cold. Superman’s chest…was *Clark’s* chest. A chest like that was unmistakable. Oh, my god. Superman is Clark. Clark is Superman.
Blinking back tears of humiliation, Lois angrily steeled herself. Clark didn’t find her attractive, which meant that “Superman” was in complete control of his actions right now. What kind of game was he playing? Was he just waiting for her to crumble with remorse? Well, he was certainly not going to get that satisfaction out of Lois Lane!
She forced herself to lie down on the bed and smile at Clark alluringly. Ha! What now, Clarkie-boy? Didn’t think I’d call your bluff, did you? Now he would have to admit how cruel he had been to dangle his body in front of her like that, knowing how she reacted to it.
Lois was so smugly confident in her thoughts that she was completely unprepared for when Clark covered her body with his own. Uncertainty flooded her mind when she felt him poke her - maybe she had gotten it all wrong?
When Clark’s hands started to roam, Lois let out a soft whimper out of equal parts of apprehension and pleasure. Somehow, she had lost the complete control over the situation that she had possessed. <Clark…uh, now might be a good time to stop…>
****
Some time later, Lois rested her head on the broad expanse of Clark’s chest. Without lifting her gaze to his face, she asked tentatively, “*Clark*…why did we just do that?”
Clark froze as his eyes widened. She had known! He shifted uncomfortably but made no attempt to dislodge Lois from on top of him, unsure of how she would react to being touched by him now.
“Well, uh…you were kind of…*insistent*…” he began nervously.
Lois gasped indignantly. “Now don’t you try to pin this all on me! You knew exactly what you were doing!”
Her eyes saddening, she said in a soft and somewhat accusing tone, “You could have stopped; I wouldn’t have tried to force you. You gave yourself to me willingly.”
Clark sighed. “I know. I’ve always wanted to do that – but I just didn’t want it to happen when you were with Superman and not Clark. I just didn’t want to take advantage of you that way.”
Lois smiled at the irony. “Well, given the circumstances, why don’t we just say that we took advantage of each other and call it even?”
“I think that I can live with that.” Clark said, smiling at the ceiling. “So, what now?”
Lois finally lifted her eyes up to meet Clark’s. “Why don’t we just give each other a chance from now on, starting tomorrow - taking it slow.”
Clark smiled with relief. Things were going to be all right between them after all. “I’d like that.” he said.
“But, for the rest of *today*, now that we’re here anyways…let’s do it again. No guilt, no recriminations this time – let’s do it because we *want* to, and not just because we both lost a game of *chicken*.”
For the rest of the day, they washed away the guilt from the situation that neither of them could have wanted, but had somehow forced each other into. And the more that they gave in to their desires, the more that they realized how utterly stupid they both had to have been to have ended up in such an absurdly ridiculous situation to begin with.
****
