How could I not leave fdk, when I know it will be tucked in at night with a book and hopefully a little song or a kiss on the head?
I like the intro. You paint a pretty picture.
Normally, I'm a real stickler for grammar. I find it difficult to immerse myself into a story where names aren't capitalized or punctuation marks are omitted. However, I can tell that you have a well-thought out story with carefully chosen words, so I'm going to continue reading. (I'm much more leniant on greenhorns, but I tend to blow off established writers who leave mistakes in before posting. There are too many will beta readers for the established writers to offer excuses.)
she could hardly picture her self as Mrs. Clark Kent wife to a smalltime greenhorn, who happened to get lucky on a sappy theater piece.
Now doesn't this sum up how early Lois sees Clark.
well maybe I find Clark somewhat attractive in a geek sheik, sort of way.
Geek sheik? That's a new one for me; although, once again, it is highly descriptive.
One woman against the world.
Another apt description of Lois Lane's views of life, in general.
“Miracles never cease eh Mr. Steele?” Laura inquired softly, her own slender arms already entwined with her husband’s more muscular ones.
“Indeed they don’t Ms. Holt” he agreed, and began raining more gossamer light kisses across her shoulder moving his way slowly up to the sensitive skin behind her ear.
You write this to be much like the show, where they formally call each other Mr. Steele and Ms. Holt in practically everything they say to each other. But I was hoping they would be a little less formal in married life. Not a criticism, just an opinion. (But please, do remember to offset the name with a comma when calling someone by name.)
i spent alot of time on Laura and Remington because they may be unfamilar to some people
Thank you. Hubby will tell you that's one beef I have with most crossover fics. I always encourage him to write crossover characters as if they are completely unknown to the reader. (Although, I did remind him that EVERYONE knows Superman.
)
"Step on it Fred. The meeting is in fifteen minutes mate, and thanks to Mrs. Steele we’re incalculably late.” Laura and Remington were seated in the back of their new black Lincoln Town Car; one of several new, tax deductible, additions to the agency’s capital goods.
Since Laura's name came first, I assumed she was doing the talking. It confused me as I read on. I did chuckle, though, when I realized what HE was accusing HER of.
I like how well you describe the offices. You describe the people as you describe their preferred spaces.
This was were Mr. Steele, for lack of a better word, worked.
I wasn't sure if you were saying that you didn't know his name or that he didn't really worked. Hmmm...
In reality little or no work was done in there.
Oh, nevermind. I got it.
I enjoyed reading the first two parts. I find it difficult to read more than a couple of parts at one time, so it'll be Friday or Saturday before I'm back to read more.
Thanks so much for posting, Henry. (Or did Nan say Brittany?)
Elisabeth
i just fixed them.