Previously:
When Lois came into the tent that night her hat was sitting on the pillow. She let out a delighted laugh and wondered just how far away the wind had carried it.
"You found my hat." She leaned forward and kissed him.
"Yes." Clark raised his hand to hold her head for another, longer kiss.
"Thank you." She reached out and picked up the hat. Then she gasped. Beneath it was a black velvet box. "Oh," she said, caught off guard.
Clark cleared his throat nervously. "Doesn't that belong to you, too?"
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Part 10/?
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"I thought I'd lost this forever," Lois whispered. She felt confused, elated and terrified all in the same instant. The hat dropped from her grasp and she took hold of the box with shaky fingers. Her mind swam, trying to make sense of what was happening. Was he proposing? Did she want him to propose?
"You didn't lose it," he corrected her. "I did. *I* almost lost it forever."
"What..." her voice trailed away and she realized she didn't know what to say. She opened the box and they both caught their breath. She looked at him, but the glare off his glasses from the lantern hid his eyes from her. "I don't understand. Are you proposing to me again now?"
"I already have," he told her, "and you said you needed time to think about it. I'm not trying to rush you. I just hope that you're still thinking about it."
Her mind didn't seem able to hold a thought longer than a second or two. Clark, kneeling in the rain and proposing to her. Seeing him spin into Superman for the first time. Seeing Superman that first time on the shuttle. The look on his face when she said she needed time to think after he proposed. Clark telling her they couldn't be together. Clark, kneeling in the rain...
Lois reached out with her other hand and pulled his glasses off. His eyes were just as warily hopeful as they had been the first time he had offered himself to her.
"You don't have to answer right now," he said softly. "With everything that's happened, I know you must still need time."
"So why...?" Again, her voice failed her.
"It's yours." Clark felt foolish. He had rushed into this. It had been stupid to think that just because she had let him undress her meant they could pick up where they left off. "It always was yours and it always will be. You keep it, please. It's yours."
She shook her head and held the box out to him. "Clark, I..."
"Please?" His eyes were serious, his expression almost pained. "Please, just keep it while you think about it?"
"All right," she said quietly. The box made a soft 'snap' as it closed.
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Lois couldn't sleep. Behind her Clark's breathing was deep and even and his arms had long since become slack around her body. How would she ever be able to sleep alone again after this? For that matter, how would she ever be able to look at him again and not remember what he had done to her that afternoon? Her heart beat faster just thinking about the way he had touched her - where he had touched her.
<"We just can't be together anymore... I'm sorry...">
No matter how much time had passed, those words still had the power to paralyze her. She had been ready to say 'yes' to him that night. She had spent the past month in a fog, uncertain of herself and her own judgment. And now, somehow, they were back where they had started. No, she corrected herself. They were well past where they had started. A month of silence and aching hurt had somehow turned to this - her sleeping in his arms and him thinking they could just pick up where they had left off.
So why hadn't she thrown her arms around him as soon as he gave her the ring? Wasn't that what she had wanted? Wasn't this what she had secretly hoped for and dreamt about since the night he broke her heart? It was - but part of her still wanted to see him pay for it. She was horrified to realize that she was petty enough to still want him to hurt as much as she had.
<"Lois, people can waste an entire lifetime nursing grudges and hurting each other. Do you love him?">
Dave was right. Did she really want to waste the rest of her life nursing that grudge and hurting him back?
Part of her did. But the rest of her realized just how much of an effort Clark had made on this trip. He had refused to get even with her when she pushed him in the lake. He had carried her back to the tent and kept her warm instead. He had brought her a pizza and a hot shower simply because she wished for them. He had held her in his arms and... Her cheeks grew warm at the memory of what he had done for her earlier.
<"I need you to make a decision for us. We've established that my decision making skills aren’t the best where we're concerned. I want you to decide for us.">
Lois took a deep breath, startled by the enormity of what he had done in that moment. He had given up his control to her. Clark - the man who could bend the world to his will if he really wished to - had given her the final say.
<"So you would be with me, even if you knew that might lead to horrible consequences for you? I can't ask you to make that decision.">
<"You can't make it for me either, Clark.">
It wasn't right that she should make his decisions for him either. How could he put it all on her like that?
<"It's yours. It always was yours and it always will be. You keep it, please. It's yours.">
Lois realized his decision was already made. He had chosen her. He had just been stupid for a while and now he was trying to fix it.
<"I do miss you. I love you. I never stopped. Lois, I never will. I love you.">
She thought about how it had felt to see him rescue Debbie - how frightened she had been for him. Fear could make you do stupid things. How many times had fear driven her? That recklessness that Clark so admired in her was often nothing more than panic masquerading as courage.
<"I just, god, I just can't lose you. I can't lose you, not like that. I'd rather you spent the rest of your life hating me than to see you hurt.">
Clark loved her. She knew that without a doubt. Clark loved her and he still wanted her. Somehow that knowledge was just as frightening as it was reassuring.
<"You. I choose you. Isn't this worth any risk, Clark?">
Was it was worth any risk? Was it worth the risk that he might break her heart again? That he might make some unilateral decision that would shatter everything? She had asked Dave that same question - how did she know that she could trust Clark again?
A light wind rustled through the trees outside, causing the top of the tent to flap and ripple. Lois nestled back closer to Clark, deeply grateful for the simple warmth of him. Even asleep he seemed to sense her needs and his arms tightened gently around her. He murmured something unintelligible and the soft rumble of his voice caught at her heart.
<"I've always felt safe with you, Clark. Even before I knew about Superman, I always felt safe just being around you.">
She could trust him because he was Clark.
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The next morning, as they all ravenously ate pancakes, Rich broke the "bad news" to them. Because of the rain the previous day, the day's long hike was canceled, just in case the trails were still slick. He gave each of them a map with a different quadrant marked on it. Their task for the day was to hike that quadrant and ensure that no traces of the group were being left behind.
Dave stood up next and smiled at all of them fondly. "We've spent the past week working on our listening skills, today I'd like you to concentrate on communicating clearly. Do you all remember our first day here when I asked you to try and observe your style of communication?"
Lois ducked her head to hide a smile. 'Passive-aggressive' was probably the best way to describe the way she had communicated with Clark a week ago. She risked a sidelong glance at him just as he turned his head to look at her. He gave her a small smile as his hand reached out to take hold of hers. She squeezed his fingers and returned the smile.
Dave was beginning to warm to his topic. "Pay attention to how you communicate. Do you state your concerns clearly and specifically? Or are you allowing your communications to fall into habitual patterns? Do you respect the opinions and issues raised by your partner? Or are you merely listening to placate them? Sometimes we use listening as a weapon. We listen too closely to try and trap the speaker or to twist their words. Sometimes we're so deeply entrenched in our own position that we refused to genuinely hear what the other is saying. We make a power play by coming to an impasse. I asked you to think about your needs - your core needs. Keep those in mind today and remember to state your needs clearly and specifically."
Lois looked at the map Rich had given them. She followed the narrow brown line that indicated a trail and then grinned to herself. She looked up in time to see Dave watching her. She tipped her head slightly, wondering if Dave had had anything to do with their assignment. As if he sensed her thoughts, Dave gave her a wink before turning away.
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"I need to grab something really fast," Lois told Clark as they were about to start down the trail to check their assigned quadrant. He waited outside the tent, half-listening as she searched through her backpack. Was she bringing the ring along? He fought the temptation to look. "Okay," she chirped with a grin as she came back out of the tent and stood up. "Let's go."
They were nearly done working their way slowly up the trail as they each scanned a side for litter, when Lois abruptly changed the subject away from small talk. "So tell me the truth. Did you refuse to use your powers on that first day here just to be obstinate?"
"What?" Clark looked over at her but she was resolutely watching the border of the trail and not him.
"You know what I mean. I was being a jerk to you," she admitted. "Were you doing the same thing back to me?"
"Was I being a jerk?" he repeated in disbelief. "Are you serious?"
Lois stopped walking and turned to face him. From now on her communication style with him was going to be nothing but open and honest. He could pay her the same courtesy. "Of course I'm serious! Why did you make me carry that canoe?"
"Because," he spluttered, feeling at a loss for words. "Because it would have been unfair for me to do all the work!"
Lois let out a derisive laugh. "Unfair? Unfair to who? Would one little canoe really take that much out of you?"
"It would be unfair to everyone else!" Clark gestured behind him towards camp. "Debbie and Brenda and Jenny all carried their canoes and none of them are whining and complaining." That came out a little harsher than he meant - mostly because he was beginning to wonder if she was right. Had he been a jerk on purpose?
She narrowed her eyes at him - he didn't have to be *that* honest. "You really do have rules for everything, don't you?"
"Of course I do!" he said, thoroughly exasperated with her now. "I *have* to have rules. If I don't, I could end up hurting people or even killing someone."
That made perfect sense, but it also smacked of condescension. "So your control issues are really there for everyone else's benefit and not your convenience?"
"Lois, I have no idea why you're picking a fight with me." Clark shook his head and watched her warily. "Is this about *your* control issues?"
"You think I have control issues?" She put her hands on her hips and looked up at him, positively daring him to admit that he did.
"Don't you?" he asked carefully.
"I was just trying to settle a few questions. That's all."
"What questions?"
"If it's against the rules to cheat on the canoe, how was it within the rules to bring me a pizza? Rich said that eating out here was a matter of life or death. Wasn't that cheating?"
"That was just... being nice," he said, feeling the lameness of the words.
"And carrying the canoe wouldn't have been nice?"
He sighed. "Okay, you win. I was being a jerk."
"Why?" she asked. Her voice had dropped to a whisper.
"You hurt me." His low tone matched hers.
"You hurt me first." Lois barely managed to get the words out. The words felt childish, but at least she was being honest.
Clark closed his eyes and swayed on his feet, feeling almost sick. "I know. I'm so sorry. Lois, I don't know how to make that up to you."
"I don't want you to make it up to me," she said slowly. "I just want to know that you're never going to do that again."
"I won't," he said solemnly. "Remember when you asked me to explain the 'Rules According to Clark Kent'?" When she nodded, he continued. "There's a new rule, an inviolate rule. No making big decisions without discussing them with you first."
She considered him for a few long seconds and then nodded to herself. "I guess that was clear and specific enough."
He reached out and caught her hand, his eyes seeking hers. "I promise. I will never do that again."
"I believe you," she told him softly. She moved closer to him, going up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. She stepped back quickly and started up the trail again. Her heart was hammering with anticipation. They were almost to the fork in the trail and she was starting to feel nervous about her earlier plan. When they came to the fork in the trail that marked the boundary of the area they were supposed to search, Lois took a deep breath and pushed the hair back from her eyes.
"We should take a break," Lois said, trying to keep her voice even. She tilted her head to indicate the left fork of the trail. "Come on, Clark."
Clark fought a smile. He had given in to temptation a few minutes earlier and checked her jacket pocket. She didn't have the ring with her - she had a bar of soap.
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He hadn't said a word and she was feeling twitchy and agitated. He had to have heard the waterfall long before she did and yet he hadn't spoken a word. Every attempt to make conversation with him died before she could even get her mouth open. His silence wasn't oppressive, it was just... silent. It was a knowing silence and the fact that he wasn't protesting only drove her pulse and her imagination faster.
They came into the mossy grotto and she sat on a boulder, ostensibly to rest. Clark stopped beside her and gave her a teasing grin. "Did you want another pizza?"
Feeling bold, she shook her head. "No." She returned his grin. "I want you to go first."
Clark's grin widened and he removed his glasses, holding them out to her for safekeeping. Then he stepped back and took hold of the shoulders of his t-shirt, pulling it swiftly over his head. He folded the t-shirt and set it down next to her on the rock. He toed off his shoes, then peeled off his socks, putting each of them into a shoe. He unfastened his belt, then his jeans, watching her watch him the entire time. He folded his jeans, setting them on top of his shoes.
Then he turned and walked over to the waterfall as she gaped openly at him. Her eyes raked over his wide shoulders, down the muscles of his back to his narrow hips. Her breath caught in her lungs and she thought about the ring tucked away in her backpack. Was it shallow that she had just now decided to put it on as soon they got back to camp?
Lois watched the ripple of his muscles as he bathed and envied the water's path over his body. Her eyes kept returning to the same area. He might still be wearing his briefs but they did nothing to disguise the fact that a cold shower had little effect on him. She hastily moved her gaze to his face when he stepped out of the waterfall. He shook his head and then ran his hand through his hair, giving her a lopsided grin.
"Your turn," he told her and came back to the rock, holding the soap out to her.
Lois took off her boots and socks as he approached. She ignored the soap he was holding out and pulled her shirt off next, draping it over his glasses on the boulder. Her heart was racing and her hands were beginning to shake but she got her pants off without feeling too foolish. Then she stopped and looked up at him, wondering just how far she dared to go. He was still holding the soap out, but his gaze had dropped to her chest. His Adam's apple bobbed in a swallow and she risked a glance lower on his body.
She definitely had his interest.
That knowledge spurred her on and she unfastened her bra, watching his eyes widen as she slipped it from her shoulders. His lips parted but he didn't utter a sound. Lois slid her panties off and then straightened up, reaching out to take the soap from him.
"Don't I get hot water for this?" she teased and he blushed, turning reluctantly away from her to walk back to the waterfall.
At his nod, she stepped beneath the hot water, letting out a long sigh of satisfaction. This time the feeling of the water running over her skin was even more acute than before. Lois washed herself in a daze, feeling the heat caressing her skin as surely as if it were his hands. Every time she looked over at him he was resolutely concentrating on the water pouring over the ledge but she knew he was just as aware of her as she was of him.
<"How long can you do that?">
<"As long as you need.">
Lois shivered at the possibilities those words could have. After the way he had touched her the day before, those words no longer conjured a casual, hazy image to mind. She tipped her head back, letting the water run over her face and remembered the heat of his mouth on her body. She ran the soap over herself, wishing that his hands were doing the touching and not her own. In a fog of desire, she rinsed the suds away and then stepped out of the water.
She softly cleared her throat. "I'm done."
Clark's head turned slowly to look at her. She stood before him, her arms at her sides, as her dark eyes watched him with a curious hunger. He hardly dared to blink, let alone breathe. He had never seen anything like her. Had never known anyone like her. Her shoulders straightened a little in silent invitation and he let his eyes travel over her body.
His gaze swept over her shoulders and then down to the indentation of her navel - all that smooth skin that begged to be kissed and tasted. He visually traced the inward curve of her waist and the outward swell of her hip. It was almost an insult to hide that body beneath those prim suits she wore at work. He followed the slim line of her legs as they tapered to slender ankles. He took a few deep breaths and then concentrated the heat of his thoughts into drying her as his gaze drifted back up her body.
He stopped at her shoulders and raised his eyes to look into hers. She was wide-eyed but murmured a quiet, "Thanks."
He nodded to her, still unable to move as he watched her begin to carefully pick her way back over to her clothes. Lois took in a sharp breath as she stepped on an unforgiving pebble. No sooner had she lifted her foot then she felt his hand on her waist.
"Are you okay?" he asked in a husky voice.
She could feel the heat of his bare skin so close to hers, ratcheting her desire even higher. Her body brushed against his as she turned to face him. "Maybe you could help me?" she managed to say.
Clark let out a short breath and nodded. "Okay," he said, still in that same hoarse voice. He bent and scooped her up in his arms. Naked! His entire body came alive at the thought that she was absolutely naked in his arms.
<"What if I asked you to fly me home? We could... make love on my bed.">
Ask me, Lois, he thought. Please ask me. But she didn't so he carried her over to where their clothes were and gently set her back down.
"We should get dressed," he whispered, hoping she would disagree. Instead she nodded and turned back to her clothes.
They dressed in silence and then she held out his glasses to him. He took them, putting them on as a matter of habit. She tilted her head to look up at him and she looked as woozy as he felt. Their eyes met for the briefest of seconds and then something flared inside him and he couldn't stop himself from reaching for her. He felt bolder now that they were dressed again and he didn't hold back the hunger that he felt as he kissed her. Lois responded with equal passion, opening her mouth to his while her hands combed through his still-damp hair. He moaned into her mouth, his arms closing around her and pulling her tight against his body.
Lois broke the kiss with a gasp and nipped at his earlobe. "Take me back to camp," she whispered to him.
"Camp?" he repeated, not sure he'd heard her right.
"Camp," she affirmed. "Take me back to camp. You won't regret it."
She was absolutely right. Camp - their tent - was the only place in the world he wanted to be right now. They could stretch out on the relative comfort of the sleeping bags and neck until it was time for dinner.
Clark lifted her into his arms and moved swiftly down the trail. The memory of her naked at the waterfall made it difficult to concentrate and more than once he had to veer at the last second to avoid a tree. Just before the trail emerged from the forest into camp he set her down, giving her one last lingering kiss before he pulled away and took her hand in his.
Lois looked around, seeing no one in the camp. "Is anyone here?" she asked breathlessly.
Clark paused in unzipping their tent to listen for a moment. "George and Debbie. And Jim and Brenda. I don't hear Jenny and Bob or Dave and Rich." He crawled inside the tent and started unlacing his boots.
"What are they doing?"
"Doing?"
"Yes, doing. Are they talking? Are they sleeping?"
His face colored a little. "Well, Jim and Brenda are reading or something. And George and Debbie..." His face colored a little more. "They're, uh, they're busy."
"So none of them would be listening to us?" She pushed him back against the pillow.
"Lois, we can't really..."
A few kisses later he could no longer remember why he was supposed to object to this. He rolled them, tucking her body beneath his. She made a little encouraging moan and he shifted slightly, rocking his body against hers. The friction only increased the sweet pressure building inside him. "Feels so good," he mumbled and kissed the pulse beating frantically in her throat.
"Are we being reckless?" she whispered.
"I don't care," he mumbled.
"Me neither." She captured his mouth again, easily coaxing him into a deep kiss.
"What do you want, Lois?" he whispered in her ear. "Tell me. Clearly and specifically."
"I want you to touch me." She pulled at the hem of her shirt and he helped her to take it off.
Her hand slid down his back and over his hip. He groaned and she arched up, easily guiding him into rolling onto his back for her. She straddled his legs and pulled the hem of his shirt up his chest. "This," she gasped. "Take this off."
He complied, tossing the shirt away, then rested his hands on her knees, his eyes fixed on her bra. She traced the heavy muscles of his chest, her fingers moving slowly, confidently, lower and lower to draw a circle around his navel.
Lois realized she wanted to drive him to utter distraction. "You wanna do something reckless, Clark?" She unfastened the top of his jeans.
"Oh," he breathed. "We shouldn't... You don't have to..." Clark let out a groan, tipping his head back and raising his hips to increase the pressure of her hand.
"Please..." he whispered. "Lois, please."
"You know how you think that I have control issues?" she asked.
He let out another groan. "Oh god, Lois, please..."
"Please what? Tell me. Be clear and specific."
"Please don't stop... what you're doing... it's..." The rest of his words were lost in a moan and he shuddered beneath her. His eyes closed and his face creased as though he were in pain.
"Do you ever dream about this?" she whispered.
Clark's head tossed restlessly and she couldn't tell if he was nodding or shaking his head.
Clark's hands dropped from her knees. He could no longer maintain even that little effort - his strength was failing in the face of what she was doing to him. All that he could manage were the low hungry moans that came from deep in his chest.
"Lois," he said hoarsely and he wasn't sure anymore if he was begging or warning her.
He suddenly was caught and held in a screaming pause that lasted for just the brilliant edge of forever. His strength returned all at once and he clenched his hands, his last rational thought that he couldn't hurt her; must not touch her.
Clark couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't even move. His hands, which had been balled tightly into fists, numbly fell open. His entire body seemed to have shut down, leaving him shaky and weak.
"Lois," he finally managed to say. His eyes blinked open and found hers. "I love your control issues."
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End 10/?
