Table of Contents Author’s Note: I must give credit to Sarah Wood who wrote the transcript for the Pilot episode and whose phraseology was such that I couldn’t top it. I have never met Sarah, nor do I have permission to quote from her. But I am hoping that enough of this story is mine that nobody sues me for plagiarism.
Chapter 1: Time To PanicLois Lane lay comfortably in the crook of Clark Kent’s arm, using his well-defined chest for a pillow. A very firm pillow. His hand was traveling aimlessly along her shoulder and upper arm.
“Well, my parents are back to normal,” she said, unsure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. “Clueless that their son-in-law moonlights in tights.” She smiled as Clark laughed slightly.
“I guess knowing that I’m Superman brought them nothing but unpleasantness,” he said. “So now that memory is gone.”
“I don’t think Mom remembers being mad at Daddy, either,” she added.
“Apparently not, because I caught them kissing on the terrace,” he said, still laughing. Lois tried to join in, but she just wasn’t in a light-hearted mood.
Sam Lane had been in the middle of checking STAR Labs’ data when he’d been hit by the Bummer-Be-Gone. Unfortunately, all of his research had been forgotten at the same time that he’d forgotten Clark was Superman. She sighed.
“Clark, I’m sorry,” she said, stroking his muscular arm.
“For what?” he asked, rightly confused.
“I’m sorry that Daddy can’t find anything wrong with STAR Labs’ data. He doesn’t think we’ll be able to have kids.” That wasn’t true. Sam didn’t remember that they were trying to have kids at all. Lois was the one with the doubts. She knew it, and she knew that Clark knew it.
“Honey,” he said in a voice that commanded her attention. She lifted her head to look into his eyes. “I have not, for one second, doubted in us. We live the impossible. A child is something brought about by love, isn’t it?” She nodded, giving him a slight smile. “Well then that, above all else, has got to be possible for us.”
Lois gazed into his eyes, knowing that he was completely sincere. She tried to swallow her own doubts, aware that they should not give up. Her gaze moved to his mouth as she leaned forward. At the last minute, just as their lips were about to meet, he jerked his head away, his eyes taking on that slightly unfocused look. His super-hearing had obviously kicked in.
“What? What are you hearing?” She tried not to sound too disappointed, but the look on Clark’s face told her that she hadn’t fooled him at all.
“It sounds like a bank alarm. I’ll try to be quick,” he answered apologetically, extracting himself from the covers. He gave her a quick, yet potent, kiss and spun into the suit before flying out of the window.
Lois yawned widely, not having realized until now exactly how tired she was. She knew from experience that the chances of Clark actually returning from the bank without at least one other emergency were slim to none. So she turned off the light and rolled over. She was asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow.
Lois suddenly found herself awake. There was no slow realization that she was awake behind her closed eyelids. Her eyes were already open, almost as though they were open before she’d woken up. What a sight met them; instead of the bedroom furnishings she was expecting to see, she saw the desks of the Daily Planet newsroom. Not the current Daily Planet, either; this was the Daily Planet from the time before Lex Luthor blew it up.
Then she saw Clark sitting at one of the desks. She immediately tried to stand and call out to him and ask him what the hell was going on around here, but found, to her amazement, that she could do neither.
I can’t move, she thought.
I can’t speak! Help Superman!Clark didn’t look up from the phone book.
Okay, she thought.
Don’t panic. Don’t panic.Lois tried to take a deep calming breath, but found that she couldn’t do that either.
Yeah right, she thought,
I don’t even have control of my breathing here! Don’t panic. Don’t panic.At least she could see. She couldn’t move her eyes, but she couldn’t complain about the scenery either, since her eyes were trained on Clark.
His hair was longer. His suit looked like something he hadn’t worn since before they had started dating. He looked young. More boyish than he did now. In fact, he looked exactly like he did that very first day he’d started at the Planet.
Oh God.Lois was suddenly very glad that she wasn’t in charge of her breathing; otherwise, such a panic would have sent her hyperventilating body straight to the floor.
That was when her body decided to move. There was no other way to describe it. It was rather surreal to have her own body doing movements that her mind hadn’t told it to do. Not to mention frightening.
Come on, Lois, you’ve got to get control of yourself! she thought frantically.
She renewed her efforts to take over her own body, but no such luck. At least she was walking over towards Clark. Maybe she could somehow give him some kind of message. How, she had no idea. This was worse than when the ghost of Katie Banks had taken over her body. At least then she’d had some measure of control. Now, it was as if she was completely cut off from herself.
By now, she’d reached Clark’s desk, and, rather than sitting on his desk, lap, or draping herself over his shoulders like she’d usually do, whoever was controlling her body decided to lean on the desk partition instead.
“I don’t suppose that you own a tuxedo,” she heard herself say negatively.
Okay, she thought.
Now is the time to panic.Why was she suddenly reliving Clark’s first day, well, night, working at the Daily Planet?
“I could get one,” Clark answered, looking up at her with an expectant expression on his face. “Why?” Looking at his face now, Lois could tell that he knew exactly what she wanted to ask him, and that he was looking forward to hearing it.
You big faker, she thought affectionately.
“Oh, well, the man that I was going to Lex Luthor’s Ball with has the ’flu,” her former self explained lightly.
Oh God, she thought.
I’m just as bad as he is.“Yes?” he asked expectantly, clearly wanting more of an explanation. It was also clear that he was trying to keep a straight face. He obviously knew that Lois didn’t want to have to come right out and ask him to be her date, but it was equally obvious that he was willing to wait her out.
“Well, I was just wondering if you wanted to...” Her voice trailed off and her lips pursed.
Aha! she thought,
the amused light in his brown eyes and the expectant look on his face is finally clear! Hallelujah!No wonder she’d taken so long. She couldn’t even see him!
Her body began to walk away from the desk.
Yeah, she thought, mentally rolling her eyes at herself,
like I would’ve gone to that Ball alone.On cue, her body stopped, turned, and headed back towards Clark.
“Do you want to take his place or not?” she demanded in a blunt, almost defiant way.
Not exactly a romantic approach, Lois thought wryly.
“Well, thanks anyway, Lois, but I thought I’d go to bed early tonight,” Clark said, sounding indifferent, but Lois hadn’t missed his grin at her exasperation and she knew that he was trying to get a rise out of her.
Oh, Clark Kent, you are so bad, she thought.
And so enjoying this!“Are you crazy?” her former self asked incredulously. “This is the social event of the season. Everyone who is anyone is going to be there and you want to go to bed early!”
Clark rose from his seat, clearly trying not to laugh. “So, is this ... a date?” His pause emphasized his meaning. He had to know, of course, that it was no such thing, but he never had been able to help himself. He had always found that teasing Lois was fun. He’d told her before that he enjoyed igniting that fiery look in her eyes. If she remembered this conversation correctly, she knew that she was about to start a tirade for the very purpose of wiping that teasing look from his smug face.
Okay, I’ve seen enough, she thought.
Can I go home now?“Date? Oh!” Lois mentally groaned. She didn’t want to relive this part of her past but the gods just weren’t cooperating. Her voice turned deceptively sweet. “Oh, you mean like in Kansas, where you meet my parents, and then you try and give me a hickey in the vacant lot behind the Dairy Freeze.”
Clark chuckled. He obviously thought that her take on dating in Kansas was amusing, and didn’t seem to mind her lack of enthusiasm about having him substitute for her original escort. She couldn’t even remember who it was that she had been taking in the first place.
Lois mentally sighed and waited for the scathing words to continue but nothing happened. She blinked.
I blinked, she thought.
Yes!She was in control.
No, she quickly amended.
I don’t want to be here!She immediately pinched herself on the arm.
Oh God, she thought.
This isn’t a dream.She really was there.
She looked up into Clark’s chocolate brown eyes, hoping that somehow her husband had come along for the ride, but his eyes held nothing more than amusement.
Oh no, she thought.
Clark’s not here.Well, a Clark was there, but her Clark wasn’t there. Hopefully he’d turn up later but how would he know that she was gone? Was her body gone from their room, or had her mind simply taken a leave of absence? Even if he knew that she was gone, how could he find her?
HG Wells, she thought excitedly as inspiration struck.
He could come with his soul tracer gizmo and—“Lois?” She was torn from her thoughts by Clark’s puzzled tone. The amusement reflected in his eyes had been replaced by confusion. He must’ve known that her little speech wasn’t over. She hadn’t come anywhere near the climax. Lois took a deep breath and smiled at him, the knowledge that HG Wells might actually come to her rescue allowing the smile to reach her eyes.
“Of course it’s a date, Clark.”
The only way Mr. Wells will know to find me is if I start changing history, she thought.
Clark’s brows peeked over the top of his old, heavy-framed glasses. “Okay...” He looked so adorably confused that she almost reached out to hug him except for the thought that if she had done that, it would’ve only further confused him.
Time to go.“Good,” she said briskly. “Could you pick me up at eight-thirty?” She barely gave him a chance to nod before returning to her desk to get her satchel and coat.
“Lois?” he called after her.
What now? she thought, turning back to look at him in exasperation.
Couldn’t he see that she was in a hurry?
“I, uh, don’t know your address,” he said with a grin.
“You don’t know my address,” Lois repeated, the light beginning to dawn. They hadn’t exchanged addresses that first day.
“Of course you don’t have my address. I mean, why should you have my address? It’s not like we’ve known each other long enough to have exchanged addresses...”
She trailed off. Clark was getting his classic ‘Lois, you’re babbling’ look.
“Ten-Fifty-Eight Carter Avenue. I’m on level five. Apartment Five-Oh-One but I think the door says One-Oh-Five at the moment.”
Clark raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Oh, some prankster swapped the numbers. I don’t think Mr. Trajewski has gotten around to fixing it yet.” It had taken him around two years.
“Okay,” Clark said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Well, I’ll see you then.”
“Okay,” Lois said, nodding before heading for the elevator. As she waited, she looked back towards Clark, and found him snickering to himself.
Come on, Clark, she thought.
It wasn’t that funny!She could never understand how Clark could have found her younger self to be so amusing. She used to treat him so badly! Of course, he might have found her babble about her address to be amusing. Yeah, that must’ve been it.
The elevator finally arrived, and she practically ran into it, feeling the sudden need to get as far away from this non-husband Clark as she could.
Lois wasn’t quite dressed when Clark knocked on her door. “I’ll get it!” she heard her sister yell from the lounge room.
Thank you, Lucy, she thought with relief.
She didn’t want to think of Clark’s reaction to her answering the door in her underwear. Worse, she didn’t want to think of what her own reaction to his reaction would have been.
She idly listened to their muffled voices as she put her dress on and almost jumped when Lucy suddenly bounded into the bedroom.
“Oh. My. God,” Lucy said, pretending to fan herself. “That man is drop-dead gorgeous! How on earth did you land him?”
“I have absolutely no idea,” Lois answered, honestly. “Someone up there likes me.” She finished adjusting her hair, and then gave a little twirl. “What do you think?”
“Wow, Lois,” Lucy gushed. “You look amazing! I told you that dress was a good buy but weren’t you gonna wear that blue dress?”
“Yes, but this one’s so much better.” It was also her ‘First Date with Clark’ dress. Since tonight was going to be her new first date with Clark, it seemed logical to wear that dress.
“I told you that when you first bought it!” Lucy exclaimed, shooting a cheeky grin at Lois before ducking into the bathroom, causing a well-aimed pillow to miss.
“I’ll be right out, Clark!” Lois called, putting on the finishing touches.
“Do you need more time?”
Wow, she thought.
I put on the dress from our first date and I get the dialog from our first date. Now, if only I could get the man I went to that date with...Lois grinned and stepped out of her room, saying, “Do I need it?” This time she knew that she didn’t need it.
“No, Lois...” Clark at first appeared lost for words, and stared at her in amazement. “You look fantastic.”
Lois’s smile widened. “So do you.” She couldn’t quite keep the lust from her voice.
Way to go, Lois, she thought.
How fast do you think the boy can handle this?“Uh, let’s just go,” he answered, trying not to stammer. He was practically blushing.
Right, she thought.
Too fast.“I’ll just get my purse.” And give the poor boy a chance to compose himself.
In the cab on the way to Lex Luthor’s mansion, Clark suddenly started to play shadow-puppets with his hands.
What was he doing?
Lois turned, took one look into his eyes, and launched herself at him. “Clark! Oh, thank God! You’re here! You’re really here!”
“Yes, honey. I’m here. I’m right here.” Clark held her tight against him. Lois cried unashamedly on his shoulder. “Uh, why are we here?”
Lois immediately sat up. “You don’t know either?” Clark shook his head. She tried to scrub the tears from her cheeks. “Okay, so I guess I’ll stick to my idea.”
“What idea?”
“Oh no, I’m not saying anything while there are other people around us.” Lois glanced at the driver.
“Good idea.” Clark immediately raised his voice. “Could you pull over here, please?”
They got out of the cab and started walking, their voices barely above whispers.
“First, how much did you see before you,” she paused, looking for the right words, “took control of your body?”
“I got to see you flirt with me in your apartment.” Lois grinned and Clark leaned towards her. “It would have been so much better if I could have flirted back.” Lois kissed him soundly on the lips.
“Mm, well I got to see myself try to ask you to Lex Luthor’s Ball without it sounding like a date.”
Clark frowned. “How far in the past are we?”
“This is your first day at the Daily Planet.”
Clark groaned. “Superman hasn’t even been invented yet. So what’s the plan?”
“To get out of here, of course, by changing history. Mr. Wells will come to find out why things are changing and he can take us back to where we belong with that Soul Tracer gizmo.”
“Mm, I like the sound of that. So which part of history are we changing first?”
“Lex Luthor. Tonight I’ll meet him for the first time. But this time I certainly won’t be flirtatious. With him. After I get the interview, you come and cut in like you did last time. I’ll introduce you as my partner. And he can take that any way he wants.”
“Once he leaves, we’ll go into his study like we did last time. You go into the next room like you did, but this time listen at the door. Luthor will follow us, and confront me. With a sword like last time, I imagine. Keep watching us until you see his true colors emerge. I promise it won’t take long. I remember we were staring each other down when you came back in last time.”
“That way my younger self will remember the real Lex. You are the best.” Lois sealed that statement with a kiss.
“I wonder what our younger selves will think of this conversation. Or the fact that we’re gonna have to fly to the Ball to get there on time.”
“Good thing we’re both wearing black.”
Chapter 2: Daddy Didn’t Hear“All right, CK!” Jimmy couldn’t help exclaiming as he saw Lois and Clark enter the Ball.
“What was that, Jimmy?” Perry asked.
“Hey, Chief, check it out,” Jimmy gestured in their direction with his wine glass.
“Oh, the poor man,” Cat sighed, “dragged along as an escort for Lois Lane.”
“I don’t think so, Cat,” Jimmy disagreed. “That looks like a date to me.” Clark had just led Lois to the dance floor.
“Yeah, I think you’re right, Jimmy,” Perry watched as Lois snaked her arms around Clark’s neck.
“Oh, come on, you guys,” Cat scoffed. “Lois Lane would never...” Clark leaned down and caught Lois’s lips with his. Rather than pushing him away as one would usually expect of Lois Lane, she seemed to be enjoying it. In fact, she pulled him back down by his tie when he tried to come up for air.
“You were saying?” Perry couldn’t help asking.
“This is so great!” Jimmy exclaimed. Cat growled.
Lois finally had to come up for air. “So what are they saying now?”
Clark grinned. “They’ve stopped talking and settled for staring.”
Lois laughed. “I hope they’re enjoying the show.”
Clark’s grin faded. “Jimmy just spotted Luthor. Are you ready, honey?” He squeezed her arm for support.
“Don’t worry about me. As long as you cut in when you need to, I’ll be fine. You might be in trouble though.” Lois glanced at the three commentators. Clark grinned.
“Good luck.” One last kiss and Lois headed for Lex Luthor. She found him introducing himself to various dignitaries.
‘Oozing charm from every pore, he oiled his way across the floor.’ Such an appropriate quote.Lois stopped to brace herself. She stood and watched him move closer, then as he turned to move away: “Lex Luthor!” Her voice was commanding and not a quiver of nervousness betrayed her. He quickly whipped around, briefly stripping away his mask of charm. “Why haven’t you returned my calls?” Lex slowly came forward, his eyes appraising her as he came.
Why did she suddenly feel dirty?
“Lois Lane, Daily Planet.” Lois held out her hand.
“Well, I assure you,” Lex said as he kissed her hand, “I’ll never make that mistake again.” Lois had to stop herself from yanking her hand away. “Would you care to dance?” He led her to the dance floor without waiting for an answer.
“Um, anyway, Mr. Luthor—”
“Lex.” Lois decided to ignore his interruption.
“—I know that you’re hesitant to give interviews—”
“Well, you can understand a man in my position wouldn’t want to be misinterpreted. I have had one or two bad experiences with the media.”
Yeah, I’ll bet you have, she thought.
“But not with me.”
Not yet, anyway.“Listen, why don’t we make it dinner?” Lex said with a voice too eager, and a smile too broad.
Was that supposed to turn me on? Lois thought incredulously.
Puh-lease! I was just happy I had an interview!“You mind if I cut in?”
Thank you, Clark, Lois thought with relief.
Perfect timing. What was that? Super recall?“Lex, this is my partner, Clark Kent.” Clark and Lex nodded to each other.
“A pleasure.” Lex turned back to Lois, who nodded an affirmative to dinner, before leaving the dance floor. Clark immediately drew Lois into his arms. She let her head lean on his shoulder and let him dance her tension away.
“Thank you,” Lois breathed. “I don’t think I could’ve kept the polite facade going for much longer.”
“Well, as soon as you see his true colors you can let yours out too.”
“Speaking of which, is he watching us?”
“Oh yeah. He can’t keep his eyes off you.”
“Good. Let’s go.” Lois strode over to the study, pulling Clark along behind her. “Do you know what you’re gonna say?” Lois closed the door behind them and headed for the double doors further down.
“Pretty much. I’ll just say what I did last time.”
“I wish I had your memory,” Lois sighed as she closed the double doors. Then she turned and gave Clark a quick kiss. “For luck.” She ducked into the next room and watched Clark walk down the row of weapons Lex had against the wall. She saw Lex enter the room through the same door they had and pick up a sword. Clark ran his hand along one of the weapons then turned back towards Lex who immediately held the sword up to Clark’s neck.
Oh my God, Lois thought.
This actually happened!Clark didn’t even flinch. He just looked calmly down the sword. “Macedonian,” he stated, looking Lex in the eye.
“Belonged to Alexander the Great. A brilliant tactician.” Lex began to turn so that his back was to Lois.
How am I supposed to see him now? Lois groused to herself.
“Alexander’s strategy was simple. Always seize the high ground.”
You obviously think you’ve done just that, Lois thought, rolling her eyes.
Lex removed the sword from Clark’s neck and—obviously impressed with Clark’s lack of fear—offered him the hilt. “It was with this sword that he defeated—”
“Darius the Third and was proclaimed King of Asia,” Clark concluded as he took the sword.
Who has the high ground now, Lex? Lois thought smugly.
“You surprise me, Mr. Kent. I’m not often surprised.” Lex’s voice held thinly veiled malice.
Okay, Lois thought.
That’s enough.“I hope you don’t mind us looking around,” Lois entered the room and came swiftly to Clark’s side. “You have a beautiful home, Lex,” Lois continued as she linked her arm with Clark’s. Lex took a moment to compose himself.
“Have you seen the view from here?”
Several times, she remembered.
Lois shared a look with Clark.
Okay, so we’ll go look at the rain, she thought in resignation.
Lex opened the door to the terrace and let them step ahead. “Tallest building in Metropolis,” Lex had to raise his voice above the rain. “I must confess that I love the fact that everyone in the city has to look up in order to see me.”
Not quite everyone, Lois thought, sharing a smile with Clark.
“Now let’s get back to the party. I think you’ll find that my announcement will interest you.” Lex gestured firmly at the door.
Perry, Jimmy, and Cat had been watching the door speculating on why Lois and Clark had left, and intrigued when Lex followed, so when they came back, they were close enough to hear Lois and Clark’s conversation.
“Ooh, I can’t believe I fell for that ... that—”
“Thief? Gangster? Psychopath? Murderer?”
“All of the above. He actually threatened you with a sword!”
“Come on, honey, relax.” (“Did he just call her honey?” “Quiet, Jimmy.”) Clark took Lois firmly by the shoulders. “You know who he is now. And we both know what he’s capable of, which means—”
“Lane and Kent are gonna bring him down. You are the best.” With that, Lois kissed him firmly on the lips.
“Ladies and Gentlemen.” Lex forced Cat, Jimmy, and Perry to stop staring at Lois and Clark, and pay attention to him.
Why do people keep interrupting us? Lois thought as she glared at him.
“Honored guests. My friends. Well, we’ve come here tonight for a good cause. Thanks to your generosity the Luthor House for Homeless Children will soon be a reality.”
“I don’t remember a House for Homeless Children, do you?” Lois murmured.
“Quite a few,” Clark whispered back. “But none had his name on them.”
“He must’ve withdrawn the money after the Congress rejected his space station.”
“Maybe.”
“Who cares, anyway? Let’s get out of here and find out just how many laws he’s broken trying to control the world.”
“Good idea, that hologram is about to appear.” They had just turned to duck into the crowd, when Lex noticed them.
“Miss Lane, Mr. Kent, the party’s not over.”
It is for me, Lois thought.
“I’m sorry, Lex, but the Congress of Nations will never sanction a privately owned space station.”
Especially a control freak like you, she continued silently.
“So why don’t you spend your money on helping Space Station Prometheus be a success instead of spending it on flashy holograms.”
Instead of sabotaging Prometheus, she thought.
“Come on, Clark. Let’s go.”
Clark nodded to Lex, showing that he agreed with Lois and followed her, leaving a gaping trio in his wake.
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