Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic Comments: The Fields

I really liked this. The writing was crisp and the sentiment was nice. The imagery was crisp.

Plus, it sounds like something he would do. <g>

Nice job! Keep up the good work. Laura

This was such a beautiful portrayal of what Superman is about. Making the world a better place for those he can. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Thank you for this vignette, Alcyone. It is, indeed, something that Superman, if he were real, would do. Leftover land mines are one of the worst scourges of a war-torn land, and there are a number of programs both public and private which are currently laboring to clear them. Here's a Wikipedia link about land mine removal . Anyone who might wish to donate to such a cause would be doing a great service to others. [/end public service announcement

Now, about the story itself. The tone, the cadence, the feel, and the characterizations are all dead solid perfect. I felt Clark's compassion in reaction to Lois's empathy for those who've lost loved ones to leftover mines. You showed us out so many wonderful things in this story, including the old woman who doesn't know who Superman is, except that a garishly-clad flying stranger from a city cleared their fields. Wonderful, wonderful offering. Thank you for sharing this with us.

yes a beautiful piece, about a heart wrenching topic...

WHenever I read something like this

These issues (and stories about them) really make me want to be ultrawoman... just to be able to clean up the fields myself

There were no "mistakes."

You've portrayed a man who is a true "superman" And a lovely vignette of Lois and Clark, too. So well written and so much in this short story.

Wonderfu!!

c.

I have no time for FDK, except to say that this is an absolutely lovely story. Like others have pointed out, this is a wonderful tribute to what I think Superman would be, if he existed.

The way you wrote the old woman's POV was simply wonderful. I was particularly moved by how the old woman and her grandson only had each other in the world, how they looked out for each other and tried to help and protect each other, and how they were willing to sacrifice their own welfare for the other one.

I have to say that I loved how you wrote Lois and Clark, too. I loved how Clark longed to touch Lois's gently protruding pregnant abdomen, but he didn't want to touch her with his soiled and dirty hands. Somehow, Lois's pregnancy reinforced what the whole idea of removing land mines is about: ultimately, it is about protecting children. It is about creating a world where children can be born and grow up safely.

Ann

I loved this story so much! It was heart-wrneching, seeing as land mines are a grave problem in the North of my country. I once visited the North once, and it was amazing. Sheer, green, fertile fields stretching out on either side of the road as far as the eye could see and everyone is too scared to get down from the jeep for fear of landmines, let alone attempt to make use of them. All those fields once belonged to one of the greatest post-independence farming settlements and irrigation schemes. It had teemed with villages and harvests and industry, once. Gave a whole new meaning to the word "barren".

Having actually met or known of villagers like the ones in your story, I'm in awe of how spot-on your characterization of them are. Actually, some of the greater casualties are village children who stray too far while playing. You have no idea how I long to have a Superman get rid of those landmines, like in your story.

Wonderful, and definitely hit close to home.

Wow, thank you, everyone for the comments! I was pretty unsure about this seeing how I posted it on the fly. It was one of those cases of an idea that had been bouncing around in my head for weeks and rearranged itself into form yesterday. I felt that if I held onto it I'd run the temptation of researching and making it more specific--that wouldn't have worked out so well, I think.

I see Terry has already posted an informative link about land mine removal. I'll add another link that I thought was helpful here

This story is rather bittersweet for me, because I too wish I could go and make land safe for these people. Usually, I'm not too drawn to the hero motif (I find it a bit limiting), but this lent itself to it in ways that seemed interesting and poignant to me. And now for specifics--

Shayne-- As a fan of your work, I was so flattered that you read it and liked it.

Laura-- Thanks for reading it and taking the time to let me know.

Woody--I'm happy that you found it to capture what Superman is about. The land mine issue in particular goes with that pretty well (more than say, war itself or famine both of which are a bit more complicated to say the least). Thanks for reading and commenting.

Terry--I'm glad I scored with the characterization of it. For a bit, I wondered at this smiling, sort of awkwardly spoken Superman, but the alternative is just too scary for people who've been through the trauma of war. Compassion was something important for me to get across, so I'm glad it came out in the interactions that lead to him going off to help.

beethoven--I wish I were Ultrawoman too. I'm glad you liked it, though it was sad. I guess the penguin thing at the end was my consolation. When I look at the horrible things we do, its nice to see that nature sometimes finds a way to use us to put us in our place. Plus, on a lighter note penguins are cute. This is a really nice article [i]There\'s a mating ritual going on in the minefield.[/i]

SJH- Glad there weren't mistakes, thanks for reading and letting me know. It's happened before that I send something to get beta-ed that I'm sure about to have someone point out a big gaping plot hole in the center or gross grammar.

CCMalo- Thanks for reading and leaving fdk. I'm pleased that you liked it.

Ann- You singled out why I put Lois' pregnancy there in the first place. I'm glad that the old woman's perspective was effective. Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment.

Hasini- To know that I at least got close to portraying rural folk is high praise. I found your description of the north of your country (Sri Lanka) moving. It's kind of uncanny how wasteland doesn't look like what it is.

Once more, thanks for the comments everyone, they really are just wonderful.

alcyone

Wow, this is a wonderful story and I'd like to second all the comments already made. I also appreciate your portrayal of Lois' compassion in the beginning, her empathy for the people that lived there seemed to be just the catalyst Clark needed to go and make it a safe place again. Lovely.

Also, I just have to quote one of my favorite bits ... I love how humble Clark is and how easily he connects with the little boy. He's just a big kid himself.
BJ

alcyone!

I was floored by the story - but then you know how much I love your style of writing. And then I was wondering why you didn't send it to me to read for beta (and then realized that I still haven't sent back the last bit you sent - ack!).

I thought this was wonderful! Very moving and emotive in such a short space. You have a true gift for breathing life into the smallest little details. In this fic, for example, the description of the field so that you still hear and feel the shots and shouts, the way you hint at Lois' pregnancy without stating it outright, the way Clark/Superman has to think about how to reply in a foreign language, the ghostly footsteps of the woman's dead husband as she hears her grandson's gait. All of these details are exquisite on their own. Put them together and the result is breathtaking.

I'm sorry,did'nt mean grammatical mistakes. I didnt read looking for them. Never do. So if there are any, I didnt notice."The Fields" was perfect, no mistake.

This is a really, really beautiful story! Thank you for sharing it!

I read it again and didn't find any mistakes.

I noticed something else that I really enjoyed. Superman got dirty. The man who is invulnerable got his hands dirty helping others. That's what being a hero, even without superpowers, is all about.

Alcyone - how do I even start? This was a beautifully written story. It packed an incredible punch for a vignette.

I loved it and thoroughly enjoyed it. You handled a difficult topic with wonderful grace.

I particularly enjoyed Superman's attempt to speak their language - that little bit made me giggle a little.

Now.... where's that other story I've heard about, hmmm?

I asked Sue about it recently and she said you hadn't finished it yet. I know it has a killer A plot. I've been waiting patiently, but seeing as how Sue said you hadn't finished it and weren't currently working on it - I thought a good natured <poke> was in order. So there.

-- DJ

Argh! I just had all my replies typed up and my blippin' internet connection fizzled...*takes a calming breath*

But regardless of how my wireless attempted to thwart me, I'm still really pleased to see more comments. It really can't get any better than this. Thanks guys. So now for specific replies--

BJ- Thanks for reading (and quoting!). I definitely saw Clark as a big kid here too.

Sue- It's always exciting to read your comments. You've read so much of my stuff I'm grateful you aren't bored yet. I bet you can see recycled phrases all over the place . I didn't send it your way because I thought you were busy But wow, thanks for letting me know that it worked.

SJH- Sorry I misunderstood you. Thanks for letting me know you thought it was perfect, that means a lot.

Cornelia- I'm happy you liked it and thought it was beautiful. Thanks for taking the time to let me know.

Woody- Phew! I'm so glad that there weren't any grammar horrors. Now watch them emerge out of the woodwork when I send this to the archive. About the Superman dirtiness (mmm, must-get-mind-out-of-the-gutter), apart from showing that he's willing to be right in the mix, I also like how the stained, smoky Suit at least in my eyes makes him seem a little like a kid. It goes well, in my eyes, with what BJ mentioned.

DJ- Thanks so much for reading. I'm really happy you liked it. It's so funny you mention the language thing. I was thinking that sure he could know tons of languages, but maybe that his command of some random rural dialect or other would be shady. That idea amuses me to no end, but I have a lot of experience embarrassing myself in foreign languages, so that must be why.

About the _other_ thing. The fic is actually done. The problem is it needs to go through hardcore revisions. Not the "replace comma" type but the "move section X here/delete section" type. I need time to sit down and go over it since it's kind of long and messy. Thanks for asking though, I still harbor the hope of posting it before the year is over, ha.

Once more thanks everyone for your comments

alcyone

Just read this story a few minutes ago, and I love it.

Thanks Darcy!

alcyone

Alcyone, this was remarkable. Using the POV of the grandmother highlighted both her weary fear and Clark's enthusiasm so well. And I'm glad Clark struggled with the language; he shouldn't be perfect at everything.

This fic reminded me how all people are to some degree intertwined with one another - these people's lives were immensely improved because, thousands of miles away, a pregnant woman was emotional about penguins.

Lovely work.