Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK The Gauntlet 1/1

You can rant away in here about my horrible writing. Like I mentioned earlier - submitted to the archive already but open to re-editing if necessary and any kind of criticism or feedback is welcome. Thanks, Little Tornado.

Hi and welcome to the boards. Nice to have a new player.

I like your introduction, it's very interesting. A great idea to have Clark win that first "contest" with Lois.

Hope you enjoy writing, cause we might make you write more. You'll see

Welcome! How cute! I enjoyed it.

Jackie

It is kind of cutesy isn't it? Didn't think I'd ever write anything cutesy. I intended to see if I could get them together but it seemed to require a different kind of wrangling and I really couldn't help but think that Clark so naive and besotted with her would have to open his mouth and say something.

When I wrote it I was wondering if it was too long - 'word wrap' in a text document is devious - but now I am debating that it isn't long enough. I read through it in five minutes and I want more.

I usually don't even write the kind of stories I'd like to read. I am beginning to see why this may be termed an addiction.

And I just got another idea for a story.

But thank you for all your comments and criticism. I appreciate it.

Thanks, The Little Tornado

Aww, I really did like it. I thought you got inside Lois' head very well! Plus it made her seem a little less cruel and Mad-Doggish when you can see that she thinks her hayseed parter has a cute twinkle in his brown eyes.

Anyway, I hope to see more from you! As a newbie to the boards myself, welcome!

Laura

Hi and Welcome.

I really enjoyed this...

I like the twist of what Lois could have been thinking at the very beginning.

Keep writing...your going to do well here.

FinLi

Well the whole idea of her character as played on the series was that she is this complete enigma to Clark only because he is the only one to whom she displays something other than the Mad Dog Lane persona.

They can't help it - they are attracted to each other so they both keep dropping hints about who they might really be underneath the facades. I don't think Lois has a cruel streak in her at all - I think she just does a very good job of hinting at the fact that there might be one so nobody gets a chance to hurt.

Likewise Superman may come off egoistic and aloof but he is really anything but. I think we are able to see that more easily with him than with her because we know he's got two different identities. No one has ever met the real Lois other than her family and it's hard to realise that she has two identities too - one of which does not reflect at all but she uses for protection.

Thank you for your comments.

Who are you drooling over? Dean Cain, Clark Kent or Superman or all three? For me it has always been CK. Brown eyes, glasses, a shirt and a tie. That's enough.

The Little Tornado.

CK. Most definitely. Too much hair gel for Superman (though I don't totally object, ), Dean Cain has the poor stigma attached of being a mere actor....

But Clark Kent.

How can you not admire him? ...And have a crush on him.

LOL
very cute idea. I hope you let us now see the battle of wills that takes us to the point where Lois loses but wins too, if you know what I mean.
Personally, I love Dean Cain with all his flaws, but I really really like his Clark and Superman<g> Given the choice and if I were a real slut, I'd do all 3<g> Laura

Welcome Tornado! Very cute username! Can't belive nobody's snagged it until now!

I really liked this. Short, sweet and snappy. NOt at all overdone. You've done Lois Lane very well!

Hope to see more of where that came from!

And for what it's worth, I've NEVER seen Lois as cruel.

Hasini.

I loved it...the banter, but was Lois giving Clark the 'okay' that they could give it a try?

Lady Mirth: Yay you agree with me. Glad you liked it.

Sheila: She issued him a challenge - if he wants to continue liking/loving/admiring her and he won't give up on what seems to be unattainable, then he'd better try much harder to win over or get under her skin. It's an acknowledgement that she is open to the possibility but only if he can win her over or break down the walls.

You have to remember that in the context of the episode this is prior to the appearance of Superman so you could go with a) she recognizes him but doesn't let on b)he's an idiot and impresses her as his alter ego instgead of himself and c) Superman's appearance sweeps her off her feet so much that any ground Clark might have gained in this story might have been lost and he mighbt be back to square one.

Someone wanted me to continue this with another story of exactly how Clark steps up to the challenge that she issued and what he does. I think that would mean a lot of stories - I don't see him doing it immediately but gradually. He has to be a friend first.

The Little Tornado.

Welcome to the boards.

Nice introspective. You give them plenty of time to think without making the scene drag.

Very first-scene Lois.

Interesting. You have her call herself "Lane". I would have thought she would be on a first-name basis with herself.

Very nice story, especially for an introduction to the boards.

By the way, you would have to ask the admins, but I don't believe this board will let you duplicate names. Or I should say, I've never seen it done.

Also, you can check at the archive to see if another author has submitted something under that name. I would check myself, but either the archive is down or my computer is being persnickety.

Elisabeth

Elisabeth: ;-) I am glad you noticed. She calls herself "Lane" when she knows what she is going to do next and she is extremely confident in her actions ie: when she is about to go in to Mad Dog mode. She calls herself Lois when it's private or introspective or when berating herself. She does the same to others as well - she calls Clark when she feels she can be close and familiar with him, if she feels threatened or needs to distance herself, she calls him Kent.

I think it was one of those subtle things I picked up from the show - something that Clark picked up on as well that let him know when to back off and when to push a little bit further.

Glad you like it. I was worried about her thoughts and the time between the banter. Maybe that's why it takes less than five minutes to read it - the language flows fast so that you get the impression that her brain functions at several miles per minute.

The Little Tornado.

Great stuff, Tornado! This reminded me so much of "Lois and Clark" -- I could hear the characters speaking.

Right from the start, we know both where Lois's heart is going but also that her will is determined to fight her heart. :
and then the awful truth
Better stop quoting now because it looks like I'll quote the whole story. But love Lois's inner babble-banter.

well, here's another quote:
yes, that's Lois

And then at the end she retreats for safety into 'The Job' and she thinks she's won! So deluded

Thanks for this, Tornado.

c.

CCMalo: I don't mind if you end up quoting the whole story as long as you liked it! Thank you.

The Little Tornado.

You did a great job for your first posted fic! Keep 'em coming!

I am writing a n fic rated one right now. A very naughty one but not in the way you think. it's a "Let's Torture Poor Old Clarkie" one, but they aren't together yet.

The Little Tornado.

Nice job, Tornado.
Lots of inner-babble to admire, but I loved this bit:

Also, I loved how you showed Clark's easy-going manner and teasing, but also slipped in his fears about sticking around with his secret to protect.
Lois doesn't understand the significance of his statement, but we do.

Lovely story that would be even better with a sequal <nudge, nudge>
BJ

BJ: What kind of sequel did you have in mind?

I love the "he makes you flustered" bit too.

I doubt he is thinking about his secret powers - its his feelings for her at this point I should think. The poor boy has never been in love before, so yes if it was his point of view we would see him worrying a bit about how the odd powers are going to feature in any relationship given that Superman hasn't been invented yet at this point. But what she is seeing is his genuine hesitation about confessing what he feels for her or at least the depth of what he feels for her. He doesn't know how to play the relationship game.

"It" = his love for her and the possibility of a relationship with her.

Glad you liked it though.

The Little Tornado.