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Joined: May 2005
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 1,662 |
Sue, this was wonderful. I loved the cuteness of the ceremony.
Please tell us which idea was which. What was DJ's challenge? What was your neighbor's idea?
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2007
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"Married?" Martha repeated incredulously. "They're married?" Oh boy, I really can see K Callans face in my head right now  She could hardly wait to get back to Metropolis and watch him explain to Mayson Drake that they were, albeit temporarily, married Poor Mayson. Although of course Lois is the only woman in Clarks life, I nevertheless liked her. She was a nice young lady who fell in love with a nice young guy. Her only fault was it not to see that she never had a chance at all Clark leaned down to whisper the words he had secretly hoped he might someday say to her. "Hello, Mrs. Kent." oh, that's sweet  Admit it, she told herself. You've got a crush on your husband. Finally *lol*
"Superman is what I can do. Clark is who I am."
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,293 |
Love it! Everything about it was just perfect, Sue.  Mickey, the lurid shirts, Martha's incredulous introduction, Reverend Bob's puffs of white hair, Clark's authentic kiss, Lois's rambling thoughts about her clothes, and best of all, the fact that they're married and we're still only on Part 1! Can't wait to see what happens next. Yvonne
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Joined: Apr 2003
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Oh, I love it! I think I did a jaw drop halfway through. The last thing in the world I expected was for Mickey to help them LOL. It was a good thing that he had no idea just how thrilling that name sounded to her. Admit it, she told herself. You've got a crush on your husband. And this ending just killed! Can't wait to find out what happens next. JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,644 |
Yeah, what Yvonne said! This is off to a really great start. So get working on a really great ending to match, d'ya hear??
PJ
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Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
"Um, well..." The clerk hesitated and then her tone softened somewhat. "I'm sorry, I really don't know. I was just asked to contact someone, a family member or a legal representative, and ask them to come here to make decisions regarding their care." Oh, boy. What could they have possibly gotten themselves into that Superman couldn't get them out of? Can't wait to see the next part. And light a fire under that muse of yours! We don't want this to be an orphan, especially with this terrific start, now, do we?  No, we don't.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
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Tell them we're on our way. You can tell them that, can't you?" Suddenly Martha realized just how dire the situation might be. "Is that why you're calling? Because they can't?"
"Um, well..." The clerk hesitated and then her tone softened somewhat. "I'm sorry, I really don't know. I was just asked to contact someone, a family member or a legal representative, and ask them to come here to make decisions regarding their care." ACK! What a beginning! You certainly do know how to hook someone's interest. I know the perfect wedding chapel. Got married there myself once or twice. No, maybe it was three times. Anyway, the minister is a friend of mine. He'll take good care of you. You gotta wedding license yet?" Too funny. Poor Lois! Lucky Clark. :p (Actually, Lucky Lois, too!) A very sweet ceremony. And you always didn't know how to end a chapter on a bang: Admit it, she told herself. You've got a crush on your husband. Love it!
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797
Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
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I had just written quite a lot of feedback, and I had come to this little passage: She could hardly wait to get back to Metropolis and watch him explain to Mayson Drake that they were, albeit temporarily, married. I was going to add one of these:  , when suddenly all my feedback just disappeared! Everything that was left was the goofy icon! Now I have to add this icon:  Sooo... Sue, this was a brilliant first chapter. Great, but incredibly scary opening. Loved Lois's impulsive insistence that they'd follow Mickey to Las Vegas. Loved Clark having a window seat close to the front of the plane (me, the claustrophobiac, have to have an aisle seat close to the front). Loved how Lois told Mickey that she and Clark had come to Las Vegas to elope, just because it was the first explanation she could think of. Love the minister, always happy to marry Mickey off for the second, third, or fourth time. (And I loved his white puffs of hair and bright pink skull, and this little piece of dialogue:) "Wonderful! What kind of a ceremony did you two want? Religious? Civil?"
"Just the usual," Lois told him. "Nothing special." Sunscreen, she thought as she looked at the top of Bob's sunburned head. How did someone live in Las Vegas and not know about sunscreen? Loved how you reminded us of the thugs accompanying Mickey and making sure Lois and Clark eloped as they said they would. Loved how Lois got nervous as if she was getting married for real, and how Clark calmed her. Loved how she wished she had dressed better for her "wedding". (Oh, but it apparently turned out to be a real wedding after all... or at least Clark and Lois didn't get it annulled before they landed in hospital... suddenly that bit about "until death parts us" sounds really sinister!) I absolutely loved the kiss that Clark gave Lois, and the way she reacted. And like everybody else, I loved that bit about how she had a crush on her husband. Sorry I lost all your quotes, Sue. It was an adorable first chapter. Now, if you can just bring us to the end of the last chapter without letting anything unspeakably horrible happen to our favorite newlyweds... Ann
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Joined: Mar 2007
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 346 |
A wonderful start, Sue. Although, as many others have mentioned, slightly worrying... Why would Clark be in hospital too? I mean...he's Superman. Unless Mickey had Kryptonite somewhere...?  Anyway, fabulously done! I look forward to reading the next installment. ~Anna.
Lois: Jimmy, give me back my dress.
Clark: Now there's something you don't hear around the newsroom everyday.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 185 |
Hold it!!! Lois AND Clark are too ill to make medical descisions?!?!?!?! And Married!!!!  It was truely priceless. Can't wait for chapter 2. Vonceil
Johnny was a chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
For what he thought was H two O
Was really H two S O four.
--Lab safety limrick--
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 2,687 |
oi... I wasn't supposed to be taking a break from working on Blizzard (which is how I was taking a break from working on something else, even *lol*) but I just *had* to when I saw this. Ooooooh! I am soooooo loving it! YAY!!
I'll be back with real actual FDK a little later (probably tomorrow on my lunch hour) - going back to that last part of the snow storm that's lasted through Spring and will spill into Summer if I don't get this done sooooon! *lol*
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 32
Blogger
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Blogger
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 32 |
Just popped in for a look at the new fanfics and that last line had me grinning. Good times!
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Posts: 605
Columnist
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Columnist
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 605 |
Hi Sue, Great start. The wedding ceremony is so sweet, even though it wasn't exactly real. I'm hoping there won't be an annulment, or just a temporary one.  The trip to Vegas and the wedding were so cute that I almost forgot how this story started. I'm wondering what happens in the days in between. Yours Jenni
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,667 |
One is a story challenge from DJ and the other is a suggestion from my mom's best friend. (Never tell anyone you're writing fanfic unless you want the whole neighborhood to know.) Since this started out as two stories, DJ has graciously agreed to let me count it as two in my penance. So that's three down and two to go. Yes, you're over the hill and half-way there.  This was a great start Sue... and now I'm off to read the revision of part 3! I hope you were working on part 4 last night. <g> -- DJ
Smile and the world smiles with you ... frown and you're just giving yourself wrinkles.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,367 |
Ahhhh, feedback. It takes so little time and yet it delights and thrills me for hours, days, weeks, months... Please tell us which idea was which. What was DJ's challenge? What was your neighbor's idea? That would be telling! We're almost to what DJ asked for and we're nowhere near what Brenda suggested. Once we pass those mileposts I'll clue you in. Poor Mayson. Although of course Lois is the only woman in Clarks life, I nevertheless liked her. I've always had a fondness for Mayson. Lois? Not so much. She only tolerated Mayson. And even that was done grudgingly. Mickey, the lurid shirts, Martha's incredulous introduction, Reverend Bob's puffs of white hair, Clark's authentic kiss, Lois's rambling thoughts about her clothes, and best of all, the fact that they're married and we're still only on Part 1! Can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks, Yvonne! You managed to pick out all my favorite little details in just one sentence and it left me clapping my hands in glee. The last thing in the world I expected was for Mickey to help them LOL. Was he being helpful? Or, as Clark is going to ponder in the next part, is he "just messing with them"? So get working on a really great ending to match, d'ya hear?? The ending *is* written. I start stories with a definite ending in mind and everything else is just getting to that point. Oh, boy. What could they have possibly gotten themselves into that Superman couldn't get them out of?
and
Why would Clark be in hospital too? I mean...he's Superman. Unless Mickey had Kryptonite somewhere...? The mind boggles, doesn't it? I'll give you a hint, it's not "Kryptonite". Too funny. Poor Lois! Lucky Clark. (Actually, Lucky Lois, too!) Lucky Lois, indeed! She's in Vegas, and she's just hit the jackpot (although she hasn't figured that out just yet). Loved Clark having a window seat close to the front of the plane (me, the claustrophobiac, have to have an aisle seat close to the front). My theory is that he feels like he has to *watch* the ground below or the wings of the plane to feel comfortable. Oh, but it apparently turned out to be a real wedding after all... or at least Clark and Lois didn't get it annulled before they landed in hospital... suddenly that bit about "until death parts us" sounds really sinister! Heh. Heh. Heh. So many replies to that. But I don't want to get ahead of myself. Sorry I lost all your quotes, Sue. It was an adorable first chapter. Now, if you can just bring us to the end of the last chapter without letting anything unspeakably horrible happen to our favorite newlyweds... I'm sorry you lost them too, but I'll soldier on somehow. <g> You did read the first bit, about them being in the hospital, right? I would say that something unspeakably horrible has happened to both of them... I love how they end up married so quickly It's only a six part story and we've got a lot of ground to cover. Everything is going to go pretty fast. Blame it on my attention deficit disorder. going back to that last part of the snow storm that's lasted through Spring and will spill into Summer if I don't get this done sooooon! Lara, this one's for you: Just popped in for a look at the new fanfics and that last line had me grinning. Thanks! I'm glad y'all liked the last line. I was rather fond of it myself. The trip to Vegas and the wedding were so cute that I almost forgot how this story started. I'm wondering what happens in the days in between. All will be explained. And very soon. (See previous note about ADD) But seriously, do you think hubby could come to the ceremony? Otherwise I think he might feel snubbed. DJ, you know me well enough to know every dirty little reply that came to mind. And mmmmm <drool> that was a nice kiss, but of course you know how I feel about the NEXT KISS. I've read the thing like 5 times now and it keeps getting better each time. Yum! If Lois thinks she was breathing unsteady after this kiss, just wait. Heh. Woody, if you're still reading, the next kiss is part of what DJ asked for. We've actually already accomplished one element she asked for, but it's a two-fer so... Thanks again, you guys! I'll post a part each Monday (or sooner, if there's a demand <cough, cough> for them).
Lois: You know, I have a funny feeling that you didn't tell me your biggest secret.
Clark: Well, just to put your little mind at ease, Lois, you're right.
Ides of Metropolis
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,883 |
I'll post a part each Monday (or sooner, if there's a demand <cough, cough> for them). Oh, please say you're teasing us, because you know that we "demand" to see part two a lot sooner than that! Like... today??
lisa in the sky with diamonds
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,578 Likes: 10 |
A new Sue's story!!! ![[Linked Image]](http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/yay.gif) Sue, when I see a new story of yours, I jump for joy. I do love anything you write.  "No, really, Mickey, it's very nice of you to offer, but it's not necessary," Lois tried again.
"Ain't you never heard about offers you can't refuse?" Mickey huffed as he opened the back door of a waiting taxi. "I'm gonna be insulted if you tell me no, kids. You're here to get married, I'm here to help. Now get in the car." There was the faintest trace of impatience in his voice and they both realized that he wasn't entirely buying their story about eloping. Hehehe... Mickey isn't going to let them back out of this. He can be a villain, but right now I do like him. Someone let out a whistle and he decided to make at least one thing about this ceremony authentic. He took her upper lip between his, tipping her head back so he could kiss her with feeling. He could taste the faint flavor of diet cola - she must have drunk one on the plane. He used the tip of his tongue to tease away the sweetness that had lingered on her lip. WAFFy sigh. ![[Linked Image]](http://www.millan.net/minimations/smileys/goodsigh2.gif) Admit it, she told herself. You've got a crush on your husband. I loved this line. Brilliant, Sue!  Andreia
"My wife's love is what unites Krypton and Earth in my heart. Without it, without her, I truly would be in hell."
~ Superman: Man of Tomorrow #15
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 251 |
"Superman is what I can do. Clark is who I am."
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,627 |
Thanks again, you guys! I'll post a part each Monday (or sooner, if there's a demand <cough, cough> for them). That's all I'm sayin'... JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 1,363 |
Ah, Sue...you've gone and done it again! You've started another masterpiece!
So, this happens after the 'almost first date'? So, Clark isn't having to take insult after insult just to stay in Lois's good graces.
Now, why would Lois come up with an excuse like "We're in Vegas to get married" if she didn't have some subliminal desire that she won't openly fess up to. Oh, I cannot wait until the next part! And I can't wait to find out why the next of kin has been notified.
Hurry back girl! You know the drill...don't keep us waiting!
~Sheila
I'm a firm believer in the fact that God doesn't put any more on us than we can bear. He does however make us come to Jesus every so often.
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