Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Further on Down the Road 2

I can't believe no one has started a thread yet.

I like the way you're progressing the story. Your mix of A and B plots was superb.

You write girl talk in a way that is alarmingly accurate. I also like the fact that Uncle Mike isn't a blood relative--it takes out some plot inconsistencies that canon put in there. Your descriptions of St. John were chilling.

Thanks for posting.


Elisabeth

I think you're really gifted with dialogue. The meeting was really poignant, I really like how you're taking us through Lois' path to dealing with the consequences of death. The realism of it is hardhitting and I always like characterizations which demonstrate Lois' inner strength and her ability to work through difficult moments.

The comments on Claude make me think this will veer into a non-canon direction. At least I know she won't be naive if they do get into some sort of sordid relationship. Yikes, just tiping it out gives me the chills. The potential for nastiness is still there only that the consequences might be startlingly different, but maybe I'm just taking this too far. I tend to do that *sigh*. Looks at title...forty one chapters...that's going to be a lot of rambling on my part.

Oh last but not least. I like your Nigel. Creepy, intimidating, but not a caricature. I cannot wait for your Luthor!

alcyone

Youknow, most authors just TELL us how effective Lois's interviewing methods are, but you actually showed it to us, blow-by-blow in a very impressive way! Most writers show Lois who specializes in going for the throat and someone who doesn't do subtle very well. But she MUST be crafty and insiduous sometimes, otherwise she wouldn't get so many scoops. I really like the way she conducted the interview here. Most impressive.

But that poor, lonely little girl! That scene was so HEAVY with foreboding. I do hope nothing terrible happens to her.

I love the way you treat Lana. I don't like Lana as a love interest for Clark, but that doesn't mean I don't think she has her good points. She CAN'T be the shallow attention-seeker most writers portray her as. For one thing it hardly does crdeit to Clark's own intellect and judgement if she were. I am still grieving for her actually. She didn't deserve to die like that, and I can totally relate to how Lois feels.

Thirty-nine more delicious parts to go! Whoot!

Well, Terry, you know me, so of course I've got to commiserate with the thirteen-year-old daughter. She lost her mother at thirteen (or maybe even at twelve), and now, not even a year later, her father is already looking for another woman. Another woman who may become the girl's stepmother.



And no, there was absolutely nothing to suggest that Ronnette might become anything like an evil stepmother. But for all of that... I don't know why the girl won't come with her father to these sessions, but maybe she just won't tell anyone that she fears losing her father as well as her mother, and that she fears getting a woman who isn't even her mother trying to run her life.

(Ah, well, I'll take every chance to commiserate with girls, won't I, Terry? Anyway, if Ronnette listened to Dr. Friskin, she won't become Annie's stepmother for some time yet.)

The next girl I feel so sorry for here is Rebecca Connors. Sweet, gifted and naïve, and about to become shark food, right? Unless the eardrum-piercing wolf whistling that Uncle Mike taught her might somehow save her life. Let's hope it does.

I've certainly never been so frightened of Nigel St. John before, which does not necessarily say a lot since I'm not exactly looking for stories with horrible villains. Anyway, the "danger vibes" he exuded were palpable. Another person who became "more" than he has ever been before, at least to my knowledge, was Uncle Mike. Great job, Terry.

Can't help reflecting on what Alcyone said:

Would Lois get into a relationship with Claude even though she knows that he is a creep? Just because some part of her might find him a sexy creep? "My" Lois absolutely wouldn't, but of course there are other Loises than mine. And there definitely are women who knowingly and willingly get into relationship with the "baddest" guys they can find. According to a colleague of mine who is very much into Darwinism and evolution, women who choose dangerous, unreliable and/or criminal men do so because they are attracted to the raw power that they sense in these men. Men who steal, rape, murder and walk all over other people gain power by doing so. The women who fall for these men want a share of these men's power. And, according the theory of evolution (or so my colleague says anyway), many of these women hope to get a son by one of these men, because if she is lucky her son will be a dangerous, devious and criminal person just like his father, and that way he will be powerful. And, importantly, her son will probably get to impregnate a lot of women and give his mother a lot of grandchildren. Talk about sordid, eh?

So that's why I hope that Lois will never knowingly get into a relationship with someone she knows to be dangerous, deceitful and criminal. But like I said, it's not as if I own Lois....

I have to echo Hasini, too:

Exactly! Most impressive, Terry.

Ann

So I was thinking and...as I see it we don't know Claude's a creep, really. We know what Lois thinks of him, but that's different from him being a creep outright (I mean he could be, I just don't think we know enough to judge yet). Lois herself doesn't present the nicest image ever when she relates to people, expecially without really knowing them (I mean hasn't she herself done some stalking?).

It could just be that he may begin to like her and she might find herself really appreciating the attention (which only says she's lonely and going through a hard time) and in liking her maybe he begins painting a more sympathetic picture. Perhaps it might not be sordid (Ann's comment led me to think I overspoke), but simply be a relationship that was at the incorrect time (given Lois' state) and in the end it might not work out for a variety of reasons that might not have a thing to do with him being a creep.

Or he could be a jerk for real after all. And maybe she might not even give him the time of day.

So there's still many possibilities on the table and I trust Terry to show us one which really gets to the core of these characters.

alcyone

Thanks for letting us know that Rebecca at least made it home okay. I wondered if the cab would "run out of gas" and she would never be heard from again!

Hi,

Great part! I don't believe him.


She so scare.


More ASAP, please.

MAF

Thanks for all the great feedback, FOLCs!

Lisa, I'm married, I have two daughters, I have two sisters, four nieces, and as a computer programmer I have worked in a lot of offices where the cubicles just don't stop the gossip. I've heard enough girl talk to fake it. Thanks for the compliment.

Alcyone, Claude will indeed be non-canon, but maybe not in the way you'd expect. And thanks for picking up on Nigel's character. He always seemed so quietly dangerous to me.

Hasini, thanks for pointing out some of Lana's better qualities. She wasn't perfect, not even in the previous story "The Road Taken," but she was who she was - a flawed human being who was trying to do better in life. And thanks for the kind words about my dialogue. That's something I've worked hard on, especially in this story. It will become even more important later on. You'll know when it happens.

I'd think you'd commiserate with any child who'd lost a mother at the cusp of puberty, Ann, but a girl needs a mother figure in her life. That doesn't mean that Gary will or should marry Ronette right away, but it does mean that there are points to be made on both sides. Gary should involve his daughter in any life decision he makes from now on, including anything involving Ronette.

I'm glad you're glad that Rebecca got home safely, rkn. She and J are destined to have some deep heart-to-heart talks in the future.

Maria, I'm glad you found Lois's memory snippet about the church and the expensive dinner interesting. Our parents give us attitudes and personality points without ever knowing it. In this case, I was trying to give Lois a reason for avoiding religion and religious topics (something the show did religiously - except for Mike, of course). And you spotted something I was only laying the groundwork for: one of the bases for Clark's relationship with Lana. You have a very good eye for such things. Oh, Nigel didn't see Mike because Mike was inside the diner when he saw Nigel and didn't come out into the open until Nigel left. But that was a good question, too. And Rebecca is afraid of Nigel. We'll soon see if her fear is justified.

Oh, Maria, please don't freak out when you see Lex Luthor. He plays a major role in this story. Hope you don't hate him too much!

Thanks, y'all! The next part will be up very soon.