~[K]nightfall~
Part 6 (a.k.a. Chapter 5.5)
~.~.~
"Here, these should fit you," Tim told Clark, as he handed him some clothes he could change into.
"Thank you." He gratefully took the items from the young man. While he had nothing against the spandex suit he had on, Clark was looking forward to wearing some regular clothes for a change.
"And I found these, too. I guess you'll need probably need them." Tim handed him a pair of glasses.
Clark looked at them with a puzzled expression. "Why would I need glasses? My eyesight is better than perfect."
"It's part of the disguise," Tim explained.
"You wear them as Clark, so people won't recognize you," Lois clarified immediately. "I know it sounds strange, but believe me it works. Nobody I've ever met knows that Clark Kent is really Superman."
"Superman?" Clark was stunned. Granted he had special abilities and he felt a strong sense of familiarity from wearing a spandex costume, which he believed meant that he probably had a secret identity of some sort. But... Superman? "That's crazy! I may not remember much, but everything I've read about this guy so far, he's unreal."
"He's very real," Bruce cut in. "You're very real."
"I understand that I'm not Batman," Clark argued, "but I... I can't be this guy. That just isn't me. Besides, how vain can he be, calling himself Superman?"
"You, uh... You didn't pick the name." Lois fidgeted, uncertain how to explain this to him. "I did. I called you that and, um, it stuck. Because of the 'S', you know."
"Oh. I, uh, I didn't mean..."
"It's all right. You couldn't have known." She shrugged, rather unconvincingly. It was obvious the comment had struck a nerve.
"Look," Bruce intervened, "how about we start at the beginning, once you've had a chance to change? Does that work for everyone?" This conversation was quickly turning into a train wreck and it was driving him completely insane. Here they were, dealing with someone who had no idea who he was but instead of breaking things to him gently, Lois was throwing information at him without a second thought about it. She was in dire need of lessons on how to be subtle!
"Where can I, uh... where's...?" Clark looked around, unsure where he should go. There were three doors to the study they were in, but he had no idea where any of them led - except for the elevator behind them that went back to the Batcave.
"The nearest phone booth is a coup-"
"Tim!" Bruce interjected, interrupting his protégé's poor attempt at humor. "Just show him to a washroom, will you?"
"Sorry," the young man replied, shrugging.
"Phone booth?" Clark asked, brows furrowed in confusion. He guessed it was meant to be a joke, but he failed to see the humor in it.
"It's a bad joke, forget it," Tim explained, embarrassment starting to show in his face. "Come on; right over here." He headed towards the door to his right.
"Lois?" Bruce rolled his wheelchair closer to her, once the others had left the room. He took a deep breath and tried to rid his voice of any trace of annoyance. "You need to calm down a bit. You know? Give him time to adjust to everything."
"Mm? I'm sorry... what?" she asked, suddenly becoming aware that someone was talking to her.
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Me? Of course," Lois replied, hoping she sounded a lot more convinced of it than she felt. The last thing she wanted was to look like a basket case in front of a total stranger. "Why wouldn't I be?"
"Never mind." If she wanted to pretend she was tough enough to take it, who was he to argue with her, Bruce wondered. Besides, discussing other people's feelings always made him feel awkward. Not that he didn't care – he did – but he never could relate very well and lacked the ability to express true sympathy towards others. He had his own problems to worry about anyway. "I was just saying that you need to take this slow, not throw all the details at him in random order and hope he can make sense of it."
"Yes, I suppose. I'll... try." She sighed.
This was so much harder than Lois had expected. She'd been going out of her mind this past week, desperately trying to find Clark, but now that she had... this wasn't anything like the happy reunion she had expected. He wasn't himself anymore and she had no idea if the man she knew and loved would ever be back again. How was she supposed to keep it together in these circumstances?
~.~
Clark walked back into the study, feeling strangely awkward. Sure, it was nice to be wearing street clothes again, but he felt out of place in a silk shirt and a pair of slacks that were probably worth more than a reporter's weekly salary. He had a feeling his own clothes were a lot more modest than these and would have given anything for a pair of well-worn jeans and a t-shirt. The discomfort died somewhat when he noticed the look of appreciation Lois was giving him.
"You look... great," she said, blushing slightly. "Not, uh, not that you didn't before. I mean... You looked fine in gray, it just isn't your color and, well, you look a lot better like this. More like you. All you're missing is a tie with some strange print on it and-" She stopped cold, seeing everyone's amused expression. "What?" she snapped.
"Okay, that definitely sounds familiar," Clark told them. He had his eyes closed and a hand held up as if to ask them for a moment of silence. He opened his eyes slowly and frowned. "It's gone," he said, running his hand in his hair in frustration. "It's like one second I'm on the verge of remembering something and poof, the memory disappears again."
"There are doctors I could -" Bruce started to say.
"No doctors!" Clark protested, immediately. He frowned again. "I... I have no idea why I just said that."
"I do," Lois offered. "It's all right." She turned to Bruce and gave him an icy glare. "Doctors are out of the question. Don't you realize what would happen the second they realize who this is? They're likely to want to... to -"
"Dissect me like a frog," Clark added, slowly. He could hear the words echoing in his head but he couldn't hold on to them long enough to remember the specifics very well. "My dad always says that, I – I think? I... ah! This is so frustrating!" It took an extra amount of effort to refrain from smashing his fists into the nearest wall. If only his brain would stop keeping things from him!
"Well, No one's going to dissect you or treat you like a lab rat, I promise," Lois told him, giving Bruce another less than kind look.
"I know. I trust you." Clark spoke slowly, insisting on the words. He was convinced of this, just as he had been when he had first heard her voice, earlier in the cave. He lacked the knowledge to base the assumption on, but the feeling was just too strong to ignore.
~.~
"We should go back to Metropolis," Lois suggested, once they got done explaining how it was that Clark had found himself in Gotham. "It would restore hope for people to see Superman again, for one thing, not to mention they want to hold state funerals and erect a statue to your memory, but... you're still alive. We should really go back."
"Familiar surroundings might help you remember," Bruce chimed in. Next to professional help, he knew this was probably the best chance his friend had of regaining his memory.
"But they need someone here, now. And I can help. I want to help," Clark argued. Of course he wanted to find a way to his old self again, but at the same time, how could he ignore the calls for help? How could he abandon these people? Besides, whatever life he had led before this one was still locked away, with everything else from his past, in that messed up head of his. Perhaps his brain was keeping it locked away because he didn't want to remember? How was he supposed to know? Perhaps this was a sign that he should remain here, instead?
"You want to stay here?" Lois felt her heart almost stop. He couldn't possibly mean this, could he? Panic started to rise within her. She'd just barely found him – she couldn't lose him again, not like this! "You can't be serious?"
"Why not? I've gotten used to the place. Why would I want to go back to Metropolis? I'm needed here. Now. Whoever the real Batman was, he's gone, disappeared somewhere, and it doesn't look like he's coming back. You can't possibly expect me to abandon these people as well? How can I do that?"
"Batman hasn't abandoned Gotham!" Tim protested, irritated. It was one thing for Bruce to say that Batman wasn't coming back – he wasn't in the best of moods, after all – but there was no way he was going to stand there and let anyone accuse his friend, his mentor, of abandoning the people of Gotham City.
"He'd come back if he wasn't stuck in this stupid wheelchair," Bruce complained, his voice low and his tone acerbic. Seeing the expression of sudden understanding on Clark's face, he continued. "Whatever it is that you think, you don't belong here. You shouldn't be going around and pretending to be someone you're not. Gotham will be well taken care of, with or without you. Metropolis, on the other hand, needs its own protector. Yet you would abandon them? That doesn't sound like something Superman would do."
"Well, you know what? Even if what you're telling me about being Superman is true, I still don't have the slightest idea how to be him!"
Bruce chuckled at the words. Clark might not remember how act as his own alter ego, but his behavior and his actions all screamed of Superman. "Trust me, you don't have the slightest idea how to be Batman, either. Clark, deep down you're a good guy. I'm not. You're acting completely out of character and hurting Batman's image far worse than you imagine. I hate to say it like this, but I'd appreciate it if you went back to Metropolis."
"Hey!" Lois interjected, annoyed. "So he put a little dent in your precious dark and disturbed image. He's been watching over the city while you're sitting here, unable to do so yourself. You should be thankful he even bothered. He's been helping to put criminals behind bars and -"
An inkling of memory surfaced in Clark's mind, brought on by Lois's words - the way she kept defending him, with such passion and insistence. "The heat wave," he said, seemingly out of nowhere, interrupting her tirade. "You wouldn't stop trying to find the cause of it... You wouldn't stop until Superman's name had been cleared."
"You remember!" she exclaimed, an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness filling her heart. He was remembering! She could finally see a little bit of light at the end of this very long tunnel.
"It's just a flashback of sorts," he said, shaking his head. "I see an image of you pouring over physics books and insisting that we shouldn't give up on Superman. The rest isn't very clear at all and that's it, there's nothing else."
"But that's a start," Lois said, encouragingly. "And... Bruce is right - being in a familiar place would help. I just know it would."
"I don't know... I'm not-"
"Please?" she implored. So much for seeing light at the end of the tunnel. It had suddenly extended several more miles; just like that. Lois barely had enough energy left in her to argue – she hadn't slept well in days and her nerves were just about shot. She didn't want to give up, but if Clark kept insisting he should remain here, she didn't what else to do about it. Tears stinging her eyes and with a shaky voice, she continued. "Clark, please come home with me."
<home>
Clark frowned, deep in thought. Home, she'd said. It was just a simple word, but the way it rang to his ears... as if it was a very important thing to him. Something he held dear, although he couldn't put a finger on the reason why that was. And there was something about the fact she was begging him to go back, as though it was important to her – almost imperative, judging by her reaction. Could it be that... could home be a place they shared? All along he'd known there was something special about her; maybe that was it?
"Home?" he asked slowly, trying to summon a memory of what home was to him. Nothing came, except the hope that perhaps home was something he shared with her.
"To Metropolis. Please?" Lois took a shuddering breath. She turned to Tim and Bruce. "Would you mind giving us some time? Alone, I mean," she asked them.
Bruce nodded and, quickly, without a word, he left the room, with Tim following closely behind.
"Clark, look, I know you don't remember," Lois started. "I know you don't know who I am... Of course not, what am I saying? You barely know who you are." She took a deep breath before going on, trying to put some order into the thoughts that were all jumbled up in her head. "There's no way for you to believe anything I say, I mean, it's just my word. And I'm sure it's got to be frustrating and scary to have to rely on people you don't know. But, please, please, come back home. I don't know how to convince you, I mean, I could argue that it's for the good of the people of Metropolis, or even for your parents' sake – they've been going out of their mind with worry, you know – but that's not even it. I can't let you stay here, because... I– I spent all last week trying to find you and, and... there's no way I'm leaving here without you. I can't. I just can't. I need you to go home with me. Because..."
She stopped, unable to voice the rest of her thoughts. She wanted so much to tell him what he meant to her, but she wasn't sure that she should. He barely remembered her. Was it right for her to force that onto him? Force him to accept the fact that they were in relationship; one he no longer knew anything about? Would he even believe her? And what if he never completely recovered his memory... what if, upon getting reacquainted with her, he ended up deciding that he didn't really like her at all? What then?
Seeing her, all worked up and obviously trying not to dissolve into tears, sent a wave of guilt through Clark's veins. He felt an overwhelming desire to hold her and make everything right again. It was almost a reflex, he realized. Something that was deeply rooted within him - a profound need to make sure that she was safe and happy. But although he felt this way, he wasn't sure if it was appropriate or not to act upon it. After all, he hadn't a clue exactly what their relationship was. She'd told him they worked together. That was all he really knew. Granted she seemed to take the fact that he might not be going back to Metropolis rather hard – too hard for him to believe she was really nothing more than a coworker. But he didn't know anything else for certain and, considering he'd just kept putting his foot in his mouth, insulting people several times already, he wasn't altogether certain he should assume anything at this point.
"We're... friends, right?" he asked, finally.
"Friends?" she echoed, puzzled by his question. "Yes. Yes, of course we're friends."
"Are we... more than friends?"
Lois blushed somewhat and started wringing her hands together, nervously. "We are. Well, we were. Or– um, I'm not sure what we are anymore."
"You're not sure?" Had something happened between them before he'd turned amnesiac?
"I don't know how it's supposed to work now," she admitted, sadly. "You don't remember and I can't... force you to like me. It's not right and I- I wouldn't do that. So, I suppose that means we're just friends right now. But... I mean, if you find you still like me, a bit further down the road, well..."
"Why would I not like you? That makes no sense. If I did before why wouldn't I again?"
"It's a long story. I almost hope you won't remember all of it." She let out a nervous laugh. "The Cliffs Notes version is that I- I haven't always been very nice to you."
"The only memories I have of you are nice ones," he offered. "I'd... I'd like to remember more of them."
"I'd like for you to remember those, as well. I'd like for you to like me again." Tears filled her eyes and she had to swallow a few times to get rid of the lump that was building up in her throat. "I miss you," she added, looking at the floor for fear of not being able to hold the tears back if she looked up at him now.
Clark felt his heart breaking at the sight of her like this and he wondered why he could possibly have ever wanted to remain in Gotham at all. Obviously, he had something special – precious - in Metropolis. Someone who cared for him enough to have come all this way looking for him, when the rest of the world had decided they'd put enough effort into it already. He gave in to the impulse to comfort her and, closing the distance between them, he gathered her into his arms.
"I'm sorry. I... Please don't cry," he whispered softly. "It hurts me to see you hurting like this. You have no idea how I wish I remembered. Will you help me remember? About Superman. And me. Help me remember you, too. I want to remember you. I... feel things for you that I don't understand. I need to remember you."
"But I- I don't know how," she complained, her voice breaking on the words.
"Perhaps familiar surroundings will help," he answered, having come to the decision that he didn't want to stay here if it meant being away from her.
"Does that mean you'll come back home with me?" Lois asked, hopeful, though she was almost afraid to believe it for fear of getting hurt all over again.
"Yeah."
"Oh, thank god!" she said in a long sigh, hugging him as tightly as she could.
~.~
"Hey, guys, wait up!" Tim called after Lois and Clark who were on their way back to Lois's rental car, after exchanging goodbyes with their host.
"Listen," he said, panting slightly, as he caught up with them. "I know he probably hasn't said so – I'm sure he meant to, but it's hard to get things like that out of him most of the time – but thank you for helping to put Bane back in jail, where he belongs."
"Bane?" Clark asked. He'd left at least half a dozen criminals on the GCPD's doorstep but he hadn't exactly bothered to ask them what their name was.
"Oh, uh, big guy with a black and white mask," Tim explained. "Doesn't say much. He's got tubes coming out the back of his head..."
"Ah. That guy. Yeah, I remember him." Clark remembered him very vividly, in fact. Bane had been the first one to hint at the fact that he wasn't really Batman. His words hadn't made a whole lot of sense at the time, but they were clear as crystal now.
"He's the one who broke Bruce's back," Tim added, for Lois's benefit. He guessed from her expression that she didn't exactly like being kept in the dark about much. "Nasty fellow. I'm relieved to know he's behind bars again. Nightwing and I have enough to worry about with all the loonies who escaped from Arkham without having to deal with that lunatic as well. So, um, thanks for taking care of him for us."
"Oh, he pretty much took care of himself." Clark chuckled at the memory. "He tried to use me as a punching bag. Broke both his fists."
"Ouch!" Lois let out in an amused tone. "Too bad for him you were in disguise or he would have known better than to take a jab at the Man of Steel."
Clark turned and gave her one of his patented million dollar smiles. For a second, Lois almost forgot that he wasn't completely himself. She sighed, wondering how long it would take before he was back again, as she tried to push back negative thoughts.
"Well, thanks for being there. I doubt you'll hear it from him –" with a thumb, Tim pointed in the direction of the mansion from over his shoulder "- but we all appreciate your help."
"That's what friends are for," Clark answered. "Of course, I don't exactly remember us being friends – not yet. But, all the same. I guess I owe him for his hospitality anyway, right? So, um, if there's anything I can do in the future..."
"Yeah, about that..." Tim started, unsure of himself. He had hoped to ask Clark – or Superman, really – for a favor, but now that he was about to get to it, he felt a little awkward asking. "There's this woman – she's a doctor, and I believe she's the only one who has the ability to heal Bruce's broken spine. The thing is, she's been abducted. He's gone all the way to England to look for her, but that's where the trail ended. I'm trying to track her down again, but I'm afraid if I find her and he goes looking for her..."
"That he might further injure himself?" Clark asked, having understood Tim's worries. "If you do find out where she is, I'll help you out. Just let me know."
"Thanks!" Tim took a few steps in Clark's direction and shook the hand he was offering.
~.~
Metropolis - Day six after Nightfall
"Come on, Martha, there's no need to make such a fuss," Jonathan Kent calmly told his wife. She had spent all afternoon making sure their son's apartment was as clean as possible.
"Well, the least I can do is make sure the place is spotless before he gets here," she protested. "He'll have other things to worry about besides household chores."
"Maybe, but I doubt the first thing he'll be interested in is how neat this place is – or isn't."
She was about to explain that it didn't matter and that, considering they'd been living there the past week, it was only fair that she do a little housecleaning, when the front door opened and an unusually shy Clark walked in.
He and Lois had stood in front of the building for a few minutes before Clark finally decided he was ready to go inside. He knew that his parents would be waiting for him there, but the thing was that he didn't remember them. For all intents and purposes, it would be as though he were meeting them for the very first time. They'd been made aware of the fact that his memory had been impaired, but nevertheless, he knew it would probably be hard on them – to see their son acting as if they were strangers. Lois had reassured him that they would understand and that they were without a doubt the most supportive parents anyone could possibly hope to have. So, taking a deep breath, Clark had made it to the front door and had walked into what Lois had told him was his apartment.
"Clark!" Martha exclaimed, halfway between surprise and excitement.
Jonathan came to stand by his wife, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in a comforting gesture. She had on a brave face, but he knew that on the inside she was a bundle of nerves. They'd had quite a roller-coaster of a day already, first learning that their son was still alive, only to be told a mere few hours later that he had amnesia and barely remembered a thing.
"Hi," Clark said simply, not knowing just what the right words were on such an occasion.
"Welcome back, son," Jonathan greeted him. "We're glad you're okay."
"Mostly okay," Clark clarified.
"As long as you're still alive, that's all that's important to us," Martha told him, trying to hold back tears. "Everything else will sort itself out in time, I just know it."
"I hope you're right..." he said, before hesitantly adding, "Mom."
It was all the encouragement Martha needed to run over and hug her son, as tightly as her arms would allow.
~.~
"I should probably go," Lois announced, getting up from the dinner table. Martha had insisted that she stay with them for dinner and so she had, but Lois was starting to feel that she had probably overextended her invitation by now.
"Nonsense!" Martha protested immediately. "You can stay as long as you want, honey. Right, Clark?"
"Yes, of course," he replied. "There's no need for you to leave – yet."
In reality, he would be sad to see her go this early. His parents were nice, but they were still pretty much strangers to him. But Lois, on the other hand... while he might not remember everything about her, her presence was reassuring to him in more ways than one. Ways he couldn't exactly explain, although he guessed that what they had shared before the accident had a lot to do with everything he felt about her.
"Oh, I, uh... I don't want to impose," Lois argued. "You guys would probably like to spend some time alone. You know, quality time with family and all that."
"Lois, honey, you are family," Martha told her in her best motherly tone. "Besides, you should keep Clark company – Jonathan and I were just about to go on our evening walk. Weren't we dear?"
"Walk?" Jonathan asked, puzzled. They never took walks at night – especially not in Metropolis, where they didn't know the neighborhood at all.
"Come on, time to burn some of these calories," she said, getting up and grabbing her husband by the arm.
Jonathan knew right away that it was pointless to argue with her. She had decided that they were going to take a stroll and there was very little he could do now to change her mind about it. He got up, grumpily, and followed his wife out the door, wondering whether or not it was actually safe to be out at night around these parts.
"So... here we are..." Lois said, sitting down again, after a long, awkward moment of silence.
"Yes, indeed," was all that Clark could think to say in return.
"Have you, uh, have you remembered anything more?" she asked, feeling the urge to start any sort of conversation at all.
"Not really, no," he confessed. "I mean, being here feels familiar, but it's not exactly coming back at all. Perhaps in a few days? I wish I knew..."
"Oh! There's something I should show you," Lois told him, getting up from her chair once again. "Come on."
She headed towards the closet, a curious Clark following close by. Soon, Lois had opened up the closet and its secret compartment's door, revealing an assortment of spandex suits, capes and boots.
Clark looked at the clothing items for a moment before it dawned on him that these were Superman's suits and boots. His suits and boots.
"I guess I don't have a secret lair, with a dozen state of the art computers and a forensics lab, then," he said, amused. He'd been very impressed by Batman's arsenal, but kept wondering if all these things were really necessary.
"Nope. The secret compartment in your closet is all there is," Lois explained, with a smile. "Besides a very smart partner, of course."
"Ah. So, you're the brains in this operation, huh?" He had a teasing smile on his lips that sent a long shiver running through Lois's spine. She wouldn't have acknowledged such a thing before, but she loved to be teased this way – by Clark, anyway.
"You better believe it!" she said, with a smug smile.
Clark gave her a look that she wasn't sure she could read very well. Blushing, Lois nervously closed the secret door again. She was about to close the closet's outside door when he took a step forward and reached in, grabbing a tie from the tie rack.
"Are you sure these are mine?" he asked, trying to decide whether he liked the tie or not. "That's a little bit... loud, isn't it?"
Lois giggled softly. "Oh yeah, they're yours," she said. "Trust me. It takes a little bit of getting used to, but, well, it's part of your charm, I guess."
She looked up, suddenly aware that he was standing only a few inches away from her. For a second she wasn't sure if she should listen to logic and retreat or to her heart and close the distance between them. Her brain was about to lose the battle when Clark spoke again.
"So you think I'm charming, do you?" he asked, an evocative smile on his lips.
"You can be, yes," she replied, a bit nervously. "In that rustic, farm boy kind of way."
"But you like that, don't you?"
"Very much," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Clark's expression had turned more serious and when his eyes locked in with hers, Lois's heart started racing madly, her breathing no longer following any sort of rhythm. A few seconds later – or an eternity, she could no longer tell – he had moved close enough that she could feel the tickling of his breath on her skin. Slowly she closed her eyes, tilting her head up just enough for her lips to brush lightly against his. A long, contented sigh escaped her the moment he claimed her lips in a shy, but tender kiss.
Feeling disoriented, almost dizzy, Clark broke the kiss shortly thereafter. He opened his eyes and frowned, floodgates having burst open in his head, letting through waves upon waves of memories he had forgotten.
Lois looked at him, confused and slightly frightened by his expression. "What's wrong?" she asked, in a shaky voice.
He smiled and shook his head. "You... don't drink your coffee with real milk and real sugar," he stated, his expression one of concentrated thought. "You keep a supply of Double Fudge Crunch chocolate bars in your desk, thinking no one knows they're there. There are five different locks on the door to your apartment, but you keep the window wide open..."
"You-" She blinked several times. "You remember?"
"Yes," he whispered, a wide smile on his face. "I remember the day we met. And how I flew you back into the newsroom that day after the Prometheus incident. And..." He cocked his head to the side and frowned at her. "You used to think I was Batman!"
"Ah!" Lois exclaimed, laughing wholeheartedly. "Well, seems you've officially joined that club."
"I can't believe I did that," Clark said, laughing as well.
"You did look pretty nice in gray, you know."
"I think I'll stick to blue and red from now on, if that's all right with you?" He pulled her in a tight embrace.
"Mmm. Definitely." She rested her head on his shoulder. "I've missed you so much."
"Even when I didn't remember, there was something inside that... ached for you. I love you, Lois." He placed a delicate kiss on her forehead.
"And I love you. More than words can say." She sighed. "Do you remember, before you left, what you told me?"
"Um, just before I left?" Clark frowned, trying to recall that particular moment.
"You said you'd be back..." she hinted.
"And we'd go flying," he finished.
"How does right now sound?" Lois asked innocently.
"Absolutely perfect."
They walked over to the balcony and, a blur of red and blue later, they took off into the night sky.
~ The End ~
