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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
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This is the first Guess the Author story I've recieved. Feel free to leave regular feedback as normal. I'm sure the author will lurk about and see it. Of course, who's to say that the person leaving feedback isn't the author themselves...?  ~Laura
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon. 
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Kerth
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Kerth
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Ack! Laura already got the line I was going to quote! I have no idea who the author is, but the story was fabulous. 
You can find my stories as Groobie on the nfic archives and Susan Young on the gfic archives. In other words, you know me as Groobie. 
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I have a pretty good guess on this one... Also don't think your little reference to Bruce has thrown me off your trail.  More FDK when I have time.
Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Ooh! This is hard because I see a few possible authors. There are obvious clues along the way that seem to point to several different people and I'll betcha whoever wrote it did all that on purpose!! That would teach her, he thought, picturing the sorry, saggy little puddle of Clark-clothes on the sidewalk. That made me laugh sooooo much!!! “Hey, I could look up Cat!” Clark suggested innocently, as he fingered a Batman costume. “She always liked me.” Heeeee! Batman! *grins* OK, so the line about Cat always liking Clark makes me think this could be Judy (JDG) since she had a story that had that in it - that Clark should look her up and all. But this isn't really her style - at least, it doesn't match her other stories much. The "FADE TO BLACK" is something I've seen Tank do a few times, but there's no haircut in this plus I don't think he'd really write a pregnant Lois, would he? The fact that this is 4th season and the bit about the naughty elf makes me wanna guess Jax, but she said something about nfic in the sign-up thread, so I guess not. And, well, the nods to Batman... *giggles* Heh. I really have NO idea. But I thought it was cute and funny and I really enjoyed it!!
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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No clue but it is a cute little story. laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20 |
 Ah, well. This was hilarious! Sweet, too I vote LaraMoon, because of the Bat reference...unless that was a fakeout...but having little else to go on (besides the fact that we can rule out Tank), I'll just say Lara. 
~•~
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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What a completely fabulous story! It was very strongly reminiscent of somebody I can't exactly put my finger on. Oh, this is frustrating.
I especially like the way it seems to evolve, one revelation at a time. At first, I thought it was a first season story, given the way Lois was griping, then I thought it was second season, then I thought they were just going out and then it was revealed they were married. All the way up to Lois's pregnancy. Extremely well -written, I'll say that.
Oh dear. I can only point to the usual suspects. The quality of writing indicates Sue, but the humour seems to be more Queenie's style. I may die of curiosity.
“Is he dead, Lois?”
“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
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Bahahaha.  Glad you all are liking the story as well as I did.
Thanks to CapeFetish for the awesome icon.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Oooh! Here's a thought... Maybe it's Terry. Yup. I got my money on Terry.
Superman: Why is it that good villains never die?
Batman: Clark, what the hell are good villains?
=> Superman/Batman: Public Enemies
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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Hmm. The humor sounds a lot like Queen of the Capes (I thought Terry too at first, but I dunno--might take a close look at his shorter stuff). I might have to peruse some of her work more closely...
But I really liked it! It was chock full of witty dialogue and the ending...well I can't say no to a well-timed double entendre.
*rubs hands in glee*
I will find you, author X!
*cackles*
alcyone
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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What an adorable story!  Clark sighed again. He'd sighed so many times since they had left the newsroom that he thought he might be deflating. With every sigh, the air was escaping his body little by little, and if she kept it up, he'd probably lose so much air that he'd just sag to the pavement like an empty balloon.
An empty balloon wearing a business suit and glasses. What a mental image!!! Oh, my!!! “I didn't mean to yell,” he told her, with the absolute last scrap of his patience. “But I'd like to point out that you've been yelling at me ever since we left the office.”
She sniffed. “That's different.” <groan> <giggle> rolleyes> He thought about not taking the bait, but then he realized that this had the potential to be one of those conversations that led to make-up sex... and Lois wasn't the only one who could be calculating. Make-up sex... and this is posted in the gfic folder? “How is it different?” He added just the slightest touch of belligerence to his tone. Just a hint, so she'd know that he was still annoyed.
“It just is. It's not the way we operate. I gripe, and you make me feel better. That's the way it's supposed to be.” I like her logic, at least!  And the ensuing dialogue about griping was so good that it made me think about Sue. “Yeah, because that would have been really romantic. Gorgeous sunset, surrounded by friends and family on a hilltop in.... Hey, does it ever bother you that we have no idea where we got married?”
It was her turn to sigh. “I try not to think about it.”
“Yeah, me too.” He shook his head as if to clear it, which was something he nearly always had to do when he thought about their wedding. “Anyway, wherever we were, it wasn't exactly the time to be bringing up griping privileges.” You in the know of the show would know. I'm at a loss to understand what they are talking about. “Lois!” He shot her a disapproving look and then added in a lower voice, “Feel how heavy this thing is. I don't know how Bruce stands it. It would make me claustrophobic.” Bruce, eh? Batman? Sounds as if Lara was the author here. Then again... claustrophobia? Who posted that wonderful piece about Clark's claustrophobia? Was it Laura? “Probably. But the children will love it, and I'm the kind of guy who's willing to make the sacrifice for a bunch of great kids who've gotten a rough start in life.” He gave his wife a pointed look.
“Sheesh, Kent. You forgot to cue the violins before you said that.” So funny!!! (And so Clark! And so Lois!!!) “See, here are the Santas, and this is our nicest one... feel how soft his coat is.” She stroked the plush Santa suit rapturously. “It's a little more expensive,” she warned him, “but really, it's worth it. Some of the other Santas have told me that the cheaper ones can chafe... you know, in places guys don't like to be chafed.”
She tittered and winked at him, and he felt himself start to blush, which was stupid since he'd never chafed anywhere, ever, and wouldn't this time, either, but why wasn't his wife coming to his rescue? What had happened to teamwork, partnership... good old-fashioned jealousy? So funny!!!! (But that blond bimbo is going to regret flirting with Clark... and Clark is going to regret it too, I'll bet!) “Of course,” she cooed, “nothing could top the way you looked in that telegraph operator costume that time...” Am I missing something here??? What do telegraph operators wear? “Well...” Lois gave the girl a broad, conspiratorial wink. “That was back when we were newlyweds... trying new things. Trust me, he made it work for him.”
“Lois!” Clark's face was flaming.
“Uh....” The poor girl seemed completely flummoxed, but she'd let go of Clark's arm, so that was progress of a sort. If he was still speaking to Lois later, which seemed unlikely, he might even thank her. “Come on... go try this one on.”
“Are you crazy?” she asked. “That costume isn't going to hide this bump.” She put her hand protectively over the slight swelling of her abdomen. “There's no such thing as a pregnant elf, Clark.” She's pregnant!!! (Somehow, I think that narrows the field of candidate authors....) “I'm not being a pregnant elf!” she snapped.
“Please?” He gave her his best puppy-dog eyes. “I don't want any elf but you, Lois.”
“What kind of a message would that send to the kids?” she demanded. “If I wore that, I'd be the naughty elf. The elf that's sleeping with the boss. The one who got caught in the back seat of Santa's sleigh. Is that what you want?” The pregnant elf got caught in the back seat of Santa's sleigh!!!! Author X, you're killing me!!! “Exactly!” she snapped. “I have to entertain children. When have you ever seen me do that, Clark? When have you ever seen me even willingly talk to a child? I don't talk to kids if I can help it because I never know what to say. Kids adore you. They look at you like you're some kind of hero even when you're not dressed as... you know.” She made a little flying motion with her hand. “But they look at me like they're afraid I'm going to bite their little heads off or shut them in the oven. And I don't need a whole night of that right now.”
“And would all of that have something to do with this?” he asked, putting his hand gently on the swell of her belly. “With the fact that next year, we'll be playing Santa for our own kid?” Oh, poor Lois! Her impending motherhood is spooking her. “Give it a try,” he begged. He smiled down at her. “Be my naughty elf... please?”
She giggled, and he knew he'd won. “Will I get to sit on Santa's lap?” she asked, batting her eyes at him and lowering her voice seductively.
“Oh, yeah,” he assured her. “Santa's looking forward to it.” That's adorable!!!  Okay. Considering the quality of the writing and the dialogue, the humour, Clark's claustrophobia and Lois's pregnancy, I'm guessing that the author is none other than... Laura S herself!!! Ta-daaah!!! (Of course, it could be Terry, too... or Queenie...) Ann
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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To let you know, Ann, in the show they get married at this place that every one just appears at (Perry, Jimmy, the Kents, the Lanes), so no one is completely sure where that is, as far as I know.
Then, for the telegraph operator, that is a reference to the episode after they get married (Soulmates) in which they are at one point transferred back to a mid to late 1800's Western incarnation of themselves, where Clark is a telegraph operator, secret identity-Lone Rider. He's definitely cute in that outfit.
As for the story, great humor. Somehow, I think it is Paul.
I think, therefore, I get bananas.
When in doubt, think about time travel conundrums. You'll confuse yourself so you can forget what you were in doubt about.
What's the difference between ignorance, apathy, and ambivalence?
I don't know and I don't care one way or the other.
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Beat Reporter
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What fun! I enjoyed this immensely  . I’ve always been of the opinion that something about elves is inherently funny, and it seems that Author X agrees with me. Now, as to who Author X might be, I can already tell I’m not going to be very good at this game. I really only had one idea. The most obvious hint was the Batman thing, because who can see the word “Batman” and not think of Lara? And Lara’s great with humor, too, so she was my leading contender. Then again, the Batman/Bruce reference could also be a red herring – the author wants us to think it’s Lara. But Lara would know that we might think it was a red herring, so maybe she put it in there on purpose, and who’s to say she hasn’t spent years building up an immunity to Iocaine powder...  But I’ve beta’d some for Lara, and this didn’t quite feel like her style to me. So I’m going to go with not-Lara, and then I’m fresh out of ideas! Caroline
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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I'm probably guessing way far out in left field, but I think we're overlooking the obvious. I think it was written by Laura S--who likes Christmas stories year-round. If she can write Spiderman, she can certainly write Batman. And wouldn't it be so sneaky to post your own work first?
Elisabeth
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
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Nope. I have now narrowed the field down to either Queenie or Laura.
“Is he dead, Lois?”
“No! But I was really mad and I wanted to kick him between the legs and pull his nose off and put out his eyes with a freshly sharpened pencil and disembowel him with a dull letter opener and strangle him with his own intestines but I stopped myself just in time!”
- Further Down The Road by Terry Leatherwood.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Hahaha, no one has even thought of my guess and it is making me doubt it now. I don't think it is any of the people you guys mention. Come on: Snarky banter between Lois and Clark that verges on naughty. Hilarious dialogue like this: Clark sighed again. He’d sighed so many times since they had left the newsroom that he thought he might be deflating. With every sigh, the air was escaping his body little by little, and if she kept it up, he’d probably lose so much air that he’d just sag to the pavement like an empty balloon.
An empty balloon wearing a business suit and glasses.
That would teach her, he thought, picturing the sorry, saggy little puddle of Clark-clothes on the sidewalk. “Whatever.” She waved a hand carelessly in the air, nearly knocking the hat off of a little old lady who was passing by. Clark shot the woman an apologetic glance as Lois went on. “You should have put a griping clause into your vows.” She sounded more businesslike now, probably ready to get the couple with the costume fetish out of her shop. He grinned. “Is this a trick question? Because you had me at ‘naughty elf.’” I can spot Sue's Lois and Clark a mile away. Even if she does hide them in married couples, pregnant Lois, and Batman references. And if it isn't... they did an excellent job of throwing me off their track and I applaud them. Cause I laughed my butt off at this one. Just perfect.
Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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I dunno Jojo...as I read it, Sue's work contains an inordinate amount of touching between our heroes and while it has witty banter, it's not as dialogue heavy as this. Not to mention that while the banter is witty (and naughty), it's not quite Sue's style. Like the bit about the old lady...I just don't see that being Sue. Of course, she could be confusing us all. Or just me. Evil woman! alcyone
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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I'm going for confusing. But as I said... I could be way off because of what everyone else is guessing.
Angry Clark: CLARK SMASH!
Lois: Ork!
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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“I’m not doing this,” Lois said for the tenth time since they’d left the Planet. “You can do it if you want, but I’m not doing it.”
Clark sighed and counted to ten.
“And Perry can’t make us do it,” she added, when he didn’t respond. “It’s not like it’s in our contracts. I’m not doing it.”
“Then go back to the newsroom!” Clark snapped, his nearly legendary patience exhausted. Because he didn’t particularly want to do it, either, but he didn’t see the point in spending the day complaining about it. “Just forget it, Lois, and go back to the newsroom and tell Perry you’re not doing it.”
She looked outraged, and then, in a split-second moment of calculation, she arranged her face into a pout instead. “You yelled at me.”
Wounded tones. She was very good at wounded tones. This entire story was amazing. It was funny and serious and it had a plot, but there was plenty of griping and banter... I really have no idea who wrote it. I'm always terrible at this game LOL, but all of the woven style kind of reminds me of Sue, and if it's not Sue, it's someone from whom I should definitely be reading more work! JD
"Meg...who let you back in the house?" -Family Guy
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Well, Tank is the king of Fade to Black and DJ is the queen--okay one of many--of snarky dialogue, but my vote is still on Laura S.
Elisabeth
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