Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Zoe Meta 5/5

Please put any comments and/or suggestions here.

Thank you for reading my story. I greatly appreciate it!

Sincerely,
clrgard

I must congratulate you in not using the 'miraculous cure' of Clark's disability in order to have your happily ever after ending. The world is filled with people who have to deal with disabilities every day, and though it may present them with some extra challenges they manage to have fullfilling, and happy lives.

It was nice to see that Lois and Clark's love for each other and their need to be together proved to be more important and stronger than the need to lead 'normal' lives.

As if Lois and Clark could ever have a normal life anyway.

Could have done without the kid, but overall this was an enjoyable read. Keep 'em coming.

Tank (who wasn't to thrilled when he read that Lois had let her hair grow and had dyed it blonde, but is certain that now she and Clark are together that the hair is back the way it belongs... short and dark)

Loved the premise and how our heroes adjusted to it... thanks for sharing

I really enjoyed this story. I'm glad Clark finally realized he didn't need to be able to walk to be needed.

This was a very interesting story. I can believe that Clark, who was used to being the strongest man in the world, would feel unworthy of Lois after he was paralysed. I'm so glad that he gave up that lunkheaded notion, and that they got back together. I, too, thought that it was perhaps just as well that Clark wasn't miraculously cured, but that he had to live with his disability and be happy all the same, now that he had Lois and his son by his side.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

That was just so sweet.

Exactly! Leaving for Krypton at all was his mistake. Why did he think he could do more good on Krypton, where he wouldn't have any special powers, than on the Earth, where he did? And where his loved ones were, to boot. They were not on Krypton.

I liked this story a lot, and I'm glad you got a little more feedback on the final part!

Ann

I've been reading the story since your first post but I seldom furnish feedback, so don't think we aren't reading it.

Interesting premise. I don't generally like stories about Zara and Ching or the whole New Krypton nonsense, but the end of Part 1 was very dramatic, made me want to see what would happen next. The time was a little confusing--Jerome was obviously Clark's son, but at one point he is described as four years old but Clark has been gone for six years. I also noticed some minor spelling and punctuation errors, but that is just because I am the kind of person who obsesses over them (chicken coop!). I thought the pacing of part 2 was good, although I have a hard time accepting the premise of a Clark Kent who would come back in disguise and not contact anyone, including his parents. The end of part 2 left me waiting for more, and I appreciate your not making us wait forever for the next part.

I like the way you used the Oklahoma geography that you knew, but there were almost too many Oklahoma details, especially for readers who may not be familiar with its geography, or who may not realize where it is in relationship to Kansas. Since a lot of fanfic writers put Smallville somewhere near Wichita it could be located just over the border from Oklahoma, but that is not clear to the general reader.

The phone call from Clark to the Planet in Part 3 did not ring true to me. For one thing, what happened to Lois' investigation of Jerry Click? And why, after ignoring Lois for so long, was Clark suddenly trying to contact her? And I hate being told that Perry knows all about Clark and Superman--if we're going to have a Perry/Jimmy revelation scene, I want to see it, not hear about it! And what did Perry mean when he kept insisting that Clark was dead?

I liked the scene where Clark finally showed up, but I felt we needed some transition/foreshadowing. Lois needs to start realizing the world's need for Ultrawoman, before Clark ever brings it up; this is Lois's story, so we need to show that she is going through some sort of growth/change as she realizes what has happened to Clark and why he is behaving the way he is. What did she plan to do after the changes to the house were completed? Was she going to go after Clark and drag him home? What happened to Mad Dog Lane? I am also not a fan of "angry Lois", but this is definitely a situation where she deserves to be angry!

In Part 4, Clark seemed a little dense when it came to realizing just who Jerome was, and he seemed to take the whole thing pretty calmly. Here he has been hiding himself from Lois, and she has been raising his child. This should be an angst-inducing revelation if there ever was one! He should realize that he has been shirking responsibility. The part was well-written, excellent dialogue, but it just made me feel that Clark was a wimp, and I've never liked him in that role.

Part 5 was a nice wrap-up, although the formatting error (bold type) was distracting. Once again, I had a little trouble seeing Clark's motivation, with the WHY of his change of heart, but it was nicely written. I think the thing that would take this story from good to great, however, would be seeing (not simply being told) what was in Lois's heart and watching as she learns something and goes through some personal growth. I also liked the epilogue, although I would be happy to see it as another story by itself.

I was not familiar with your writing before this story, but I would definitely read your stories again. Don't let the lack of feedback discourage you, sometimes we just don't know what to say.

Hi,

I totally agree with the other posters about you 'not' finding a miraculous cure for Clark. People do have to learn to live with disabilities and it would be very hard for someone who was once a super man to come to terms with being disabled, which had to be the reason for Clark being a total lunkhead and hiding himself away from his family.

I was so happy when he finally came to his senses.

I did wonder why the yellow sun failed to cure Clark when he returned to Earth and perhaps you could touch on a reason for this. Maybe Clark's injury was caused by a weapon which was powered by kryptonite, or had some element of kryptonite incorporated in it.

However, that's a very small gripe, and, overall, it didn't detract from my enjoyment of the story.

Yours Jenni

Nice ending to the story. Good job. Laura

Clrgard,

This was wonderful. I generally have less interest in stories playing off the New Kryton arc, but this one drew me right in.

I would have sent you feedback sooner, (really I wanted to) but I've had a rash of busy evenings recently and wasn't online. I finally started reading this on Sunday night - but I had saved the chapters quickly before heading on to a plane, and this was my first chance to get online.

I can't tell you how excited I was to come home and realize you'd finished the story I'd gotten so drawn into on Sunday.

I really liked the premise of this, although I did also wonder why Clark's injury didn't heal with the yellow sun. I also think I would have liked a little bit of the story before he gets home from Clark's point of view as I was surprised by his decision to stay away from Lois and his parents. I can see the depression of going from Superman to disabled, but family and friends are also so important to Clark, this decision to stay away is surprising.

I really liked the ending of this - the fact that they didn't go back to Metropolis, he isn't cured (even though, as I said, this confused me). It definitely had a nice feel - like life went on - it wasn't like they could erase all the painful time of being apart, but they could move past it.

Lovely story!

I just want to thank you again for reading my story and providing feedback. I truely appreciate it!

I'm glad that people were okay with the lack of a 'miraculous cure' at the end of the story. I didn't put my toys back like I found them, but I didn't think that the story would have been as realistic if I had solved everything.

Also, thanks to those of you who provided suggestions on how to firm up some of the soft spots in the story. I am working on solidifying those before I send it in to the archive. Also, I'm trying to go into more detail as to why the yellow sun did not heal him. When I originally wrote that part, I could not come up with an explanation that I thought would be plausible, but now, after more extensive research, I believe that I can write a sensible rationale.
There are other recommendations that I am also working on integrating into the story, but those are the major ones.

When this does go to the archive, the story will have had some changes made to it, so you might want to see what I added.

Once again, thank you. This is the first Lois and Clark story that I have finished and, after reading your reviews, I feel a sense of great accomplishment. Thanks for making this a positive and encouraging experience!

Sincerely,
clrgard (aka zebraclrgard)