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Features Writer
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OP
Features Writer
Joined: Jun 2003
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Joined: Nov 2003
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Nov 2003
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Yay! Clark helped.... superb part, as usual. 
If she had to move heaven and Earth, perhaps come back to haunt Perry and explain the story after they'd killed her, she would do it.
Waking a Miracle by Aria
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 124 |
I think this story is amazing, Shayne.
Every chapter always leaves me thinking that, wow, you've really turned on the afterburners. But then the next chapter lights a new fuse.
Not only do I love the story, I simply love the way you write. These glimpses of our world synthesized through Clark's super senses are fantastic. The part about each city having its own distinctive sound, almost like music, that was beautiful. And then you build on that by contrasting Clark's world with ours by describing how the cities' music differs. And then you describe how he realizes something is wrong by how the shape of all this sound changes. Beautiful!
And Clark going into action to rescue the downed boat ... talk about a situation ripped from the headlines.
Eagerly awaiting Part 16,
Lauren
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
I agree with Lauren. The way you made Clark describe the "music of the cities" was fantastic. But I also loved how you pointed out how the pace of our society has become so much more frantic today than it was in the 1990s. When change happens gradually, it is hard to remember that things have not always been like this. But with all these cell phones ringing everywhere, all these people speaking loudly seemingly straight out into the air, and all these different TV channels blaring out their points of view wherever you are... no, things have not always been like this. Lois froze as she went to close her window. She wouldn't bother locking it; if Clark was hanging by his fingers just around the corner she wasn't going to be the one sending him plummeting to his death.
She frowned for a moment as she stared at her window, and then she stepped into her living room to examine the window there.
Both windows had been cleaned from the outside. I loved that Lois left her window open for Clark! And she noticed that her windows had been cleaned from the outside. Lois, you have to believe in Clark now! It went against everything Lana had tried to teach him. He'd been attacked the last time he went flying; these people had the means and the motivation to track him wherever he went, unless he flew low enough to cause damage to buildings through his sonic boom, or possibly high enough to go above the reach of their satellites.
Every instinct was to lie low and hide, to let the world go on thinking he was just an ordinary man. This wasn't even his world. These weren't his people, his responsibility.
Yet hearing the fear hidden in the reporter's voice…seeing the expression on the anchorwoman's face when she didn't think anyone was watching…there wasn't any other choice.
These were people needing help that wasn't going to come. He had a chance to change all that, to save the lives of what the scroll on the bottom of the screen said was eighteen survivors.
He'd been given his abilities for a reason. His mother had believed that, and he still remembered her calming words, soothing his fears about being a freak and different from everyone else.
She'd believed he'd make a difference.
The fact that this world had been telling stories about him for at least twenty years before he'd been born could only be considered a sign of what he was going to have to do.
Whatever the cost to himself, he had to do the right thing. There really wasn't another choice. This is lovely writing, and it is a wonderful tribute to Clark Kent's true heroism. It had taken longer to find the site than Clark would have liked. Over populated areas, he could always read road signs, but finding a few ships in the middle of thousands of miles of desolate wilderness was harder than he had expected.
Taking a deep breath, Clark plunged into the water. The water below was murky, with sediment creating an impenetrable wall making visibility almost impossible.
Although his special vision allowed him to see through it, the sand and accumulated sediment floating in the water darkened everything, casting the area around him in a perpetual twilight which was only going to get worse when the sun set.
He could see the darkened mass of the ship half buried in the sand. Three hundred feet down, with three hundred feet of sand and water and other debris between it and the sun, the ship was a pitiful sight.
The men inside were even worse. Even with his special vision he couldn't see them now; there was no light inside the ship. They were cold and lightness and alone. He could hear their breathing though, and he could tell that their breaths were slowing.
As he reached the ship he realized that there was no time for decompression stops or anything similar. Without air, these men were going to die.
Hopefully, the water inside wasn't pressurized.
Clark's greatest fear was that by moving the ship he was going to somehow break a delicate seal and force icy cold water to flood into the hold, killing the men inside almost instantly.
He closed his eyes for a moment as he touched the hull and did something he hadn't done since he was a child. He prayed. And this is... oh wow! When I read the Superman comics as a kid, I always took it for granted that it was easy for Superman to perform his rescues. Hey, he was superstrong, so what could be difficult about about saving other people's lives? So the way you describe this, and explain the thousand things that could go wrong, is riveting. Indeed, how do you find something that is buried under the vast and unchanging surface of the sea? Where there are no landmarks anywhere? And what would it be like to try to see where you are going in the water once you have located the ship? And then you have to lift the ship and hope that you won't break it... and then you have to hope that you won't give everyone inside the bends and make them die almost instantly... Below, through the darkened water could be seen a massive shape. Born along on what looked like a massive bubble of air was the form of the Celeste Marie. Wow! What an incredibly powerful paragraph! “All we know right now is that somebody's prayers were answered.” That was such a fitting ending to this part, seeing that Clark had been praying before he lifted the ship. What will happen now? Personally I hope that Clark won't get caught, and that he will make it back to Lois. And I hope that Lois will understand that it was Clark who saved that ship. Ann
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Delightful!!  I hope he took a few minutes to suit up and that the camera get a good look a Superman in action! He was silent for a moment as his cameraman got footage of men scrambling down into rescue boats which were even now racing toward the newly righted ship. Pan up to them man floating above the ship, in the familiar red blue and gold.
Framework4
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 391 |
Another great part, Shayne! I'm sort of glad you're posting this in short installments. If you had posted the whole finished story, I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to keep from reading it in one sitting.  It seems like that penny is ready to drop, teetering on the edge.  The question is, is Lois going to see Clark on TV, or see him come back in her window still wet and covered with sea slime? Once she's broken through her barrier of disbelief, she'll put all the clues together. I don't think Clark is in a Suit yet; it seems like he still has a (Lana-induced) inferiority complex, what with the continual proclamations that he's "not Superman." I hope Lois can convince him otherwise. Also, I don't think he has a Suit yet. Lois had to make one for alt-Clark in the original show. And even though this is alt-Clark, I'm still hoping he makes it back to Metropolis with his secret intact. It all hinges on whether the government mentioned Clark Kent = Superman in their interrogations. I can't wait for the next installment! 
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 3,060 Likes: 20 |
AWESOME!!! It's a neat contrast that our Clark--he of comics and LnC fame--usually got his start with falling planes or doomed spacecraft. This Clark rescues a submerged boat. It's like, the perfect opposite! But then, a plane is what got him here in the first place...and now I'm rambling. I hope he convinces Lois after this!
~•~
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Freelance Reporter
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Freelance Reporter
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 76 |
Okay, I'm boggled. There's just no way to describe the power which this chapter had on me. All of the chapters before have combined to create a very "willing suspension of disbelief"; so by the time this one shows up, the reader is ready to emotionally accept that this rescue and its prelude (described in exquisite detail) are really happening. Great stuff, and more than worth the longer-than-usual wait. With a reluctant glance toward Lois, who seemed to be holding her own with the government men, Clark began to rise further into the sky.
He’d spent his life flying under the radar, avoiding anything that might lead anyone to even suspect that he was something more than what he appeared to be. He’d helped now and then when he could, but never where it would have jeopardized his secret.
This wasn’t some car accident on a country road where head injured survivors talked about being rescued by an angel. This was something that was happening in daylight in front of the media and the world.
It went against everything Lana had tried to teach him. He’d been attacked the last time he went flying; these people had the means and the motivation to track him wherever he went, unless he flew low enough to cause damage to buildings through his sonic boom, or possibly high enough to go above the reach of their satellites. Although his trip west should be visible to radar, and especially ground-based anti-ballistic-missile radar systems even though he chooses to fly above near-earth satellite orbits, it's going to be the trip back to Washington D.C. that will create panic, as an unknown object approaching D.C. on a supersonic trajectory would certainly do. If he does "go public," he will need to ask the government for a portable transponder of some sort, to signal that he is "friendly aircraft." Taking a deep breath, Clark plunged into the water. Below, through the darkened water could be seen a massive shape. Born along on what looked like a massive bubble of air was the form of the Celeste Marie. Presumably we're seeing the result of that deep breath. What a demonstration of super-breath! It provides some buoyancy, it helps empty out the water filling the ship, and it provides cover as he surreptitiosly lifts the ship. Oh, here's a comment on something earlier in the chapter: She frowned for a moment as she stared at her window, and then she stepped into her living room to examine the window there.
Both windows had been cleaned from the outside. There is a fairly recent development called an LDV (Laser Doppler Vibrometer), which is based on a decades-old technology called laser reflection interferometry. Basically, it allows nefarious indiduals or groups to shine an infrared (thus invisible) laser on your window from outside. Any sounds within the room -- voices, etc. -- cause the window to vibrate microscopically, and as the reflected light from the vibrating glass interferes with the original beam, the shifting interference patterns can be converted back to sound. Spies love it, and Homeland Security could use it to listen in on Lois' apartment. However, because Clark apparently cleaned the windows (both inside and out) to a sparkling shine, very little light would be randomly scattered back to the laser transmitter. If there had been a high-rise building directly opposite, the spy could have used the direct reflection off the glass; but because of the no-tall-building laws in D.C., this is not an option. Clark (who probably knows nothing of LDV technology, being from 1993) was just being a nice guy -- and in the process, saved Lois from being the target of untraceable, and unstoppable, espionage. Snave
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,147 Likes: 3 |
Great chapter, Shayne. I wonder if the Celeste Marie is named after the Mary Celeste (also referred to as the Marie Celeste) which was found under full sail but completely deserted, heading towards Gibraltar from the Azores in December 1872. If so, it's a wonderful reversal reference from history. The crew and passengers of the Mary Celeste all died under unknown circumstances. The crew and passengers of the Celeste Marie were rescued under unknown circumstances.
I agree, Lois has to put it all together very soon. Then maybe she can convince Clark to break Lucy out of the hospital, after they figure out how to get everyone back where they belong.
And if Lois does go back to a more peaceful but slightly less technologically advanced world, maybe she could "invent" a few gadgets for those folks and make a few bucks on the side. Might ease her transition back to her "real life" in that reality.
Life isn't a support system for writing. It's the other way around.
- Stephen King, from On Writing
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 1,069 |
Wowie zowie! That chapter really packed a punch. The reporting on the disaster was heart-stoppingly tense and so real. You're ability to create atmosphere is fantastic.
I'm glad that the disaster that Clark helped with wasn't terrorist related, but a genuine accident. Not sure if it makes a difference to the characters in the story, but it seems appropriate to me. I feel like it makes Clark more of a hero to the world and not at all political.
Already looking forward to the next chapter.
BJ
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Love the premises. You always come up with those creative alt-worlds. Ok, this time it's not so much an alt-world after all. I'm glad we don't have Kryptonite. Oh, wait, do they still have the props of the Superman movies lying around?
And on note. Do we have a Lois and Clark show too, and if so, will Clark get to watch it? Or is this too close to the truth to work?
Michael
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,445 |
Hate to say it, but if they were just in an air pocket, they were at the same pressure as a diver down at 300ft - the air would compress to match the pressure of the water. They'd have to be behind an airtight door with no open ducts or pipes to stay at normal pressure.
If the rescuers realise this and get them into a pressure chamber fast they ought to be OK, or at least not hurt too badly.
As someone else pointed out, it's good to see Clark have real problems with a rescue - TV and films usually show this stuff as effortless, for me the best thing about Superman Returns was the difficulty he had stopping the plane crash without destroying the plane.
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 144 |
What a chapter! You got the horror scenario with the sunken ship, the people in it and the news crew around it perfectly! I can feel the situation! Wow! She frowned for a moment as she stared at her window, and then she stepped into her living room to examine the window there.
Both windows had been cleaned from the outside. A nice little riddle for Lois! It went against everything Lana had tried to teach him. He’d been attacked the last time he went flying; these people had the means and the motivation to track him wherever he went, unless he flew low enough to cause damage to buildings through his sonic boom, or possibly high enough to go above the reach of their satellites. So they will see him on their radar flying. And also his speed. The jet pilot in the beginning already has seen him directly. By now they have to know what he is. And they will realize what he has done. Would a terrorist do anything like that? There must be some people even in the authorities who are able to put the pieces together! He’d been given his abilities for a reason. His mother had believed that, and he still remembered her calming words, soothing his fears about being a freak and different from everyone else.
She’d believed he’d make a difference.
The fact that this world had been telling stories about him for at least twenty years before he’d been born could only be considered a sign of what he was going to have to do.
Whatever the cost to himself, he had to do the right thing. There really wasn’t another choice. I think this also is the consequence of what he has seen before. 9/11. As I already have written in one of my last reviews, it really was the final decision to become Superman. Again you do it perfectly! I love your story! 
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 263 |
Wonderful addition, Shayne - as always.
One of my favorite parts of this story is the view of the "new" world through Clark's POV so I was really glad to see it come back here. Like others said, the description of the "music" was stellar.
I like that Lois's reactions to everything that has happened so far have been natural- in that she tries to see everything logistically, fitting it to makes sense with what she knows of her world (Clark jumped from the plane, he climbed her building, etc). That said, now that she is getting confronted with things that aren't so easily explained (i.e. her windows being cleaned from the outside), I hope that it won't take her very long to put it all together. I want to see them working as a team to fight off the baddies!
Thanks for sharing~
Sonia
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
Joined: Jan 2004
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She frowned for a moment as she stared at her window, and then she stepped into her living room to examine the window there.
Both windows had been cleaned from the outside.  Excellent! The differences between the two worlds is nice, as well. I like that the vitality of our world is musical and not just noise. This is a nice touch: He closed his eyes for a moment as he touched the hull and did something he hadn’t done since he was a child. He prayed.
<snip>
“All we know right now is that somebody’s prayers were answered.” Another excellent segment. Elisabeth
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,020 |
Another comment.
OK Clark has stepped up. Hopefully wearing a Superman suit.
Could we have a whole series of incidents around the globe, like after the first appearance in Superman I, or the reappearance in Superman Returns?
Dozens if not hundreds of Superman rescues would kill any idea of a local hoax and place the matter firmly out of control, preventing any US Government censorship.
This rescue may convince Lois, but it'd be nice to convince some government agents as well.
Framework4
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1
Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 400 Likes: 1 |
That was a great part. (But what a cliffhanger!) Looking back through it just now, I noticed that Lois and Clark never actually spoke to each other during this part --- but I still felt like they were connected, what with their concern for how the other was doing. Very cool.
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