Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Monday (oh what a day!)

Awwwwww!

This was so beautiful!! Well done, Rona!!! What a debut! It was a little sad, and sweet, and the end---! Well done!

Will you be writing more, soon?

Beautiful, like Mary said. This is a great debut!

Ann

/me duct tapes Rona to the writing side

Wow - that was wonderful!

I can't believe Lois was on the Kent farm!!! What a great twist!

And you really made me feel Clark's pain and what his life is like.

You really need to write more.
Carol

This was great! But now you've got me all curious. Is there maybe a sequel in the works?

Yeah, a sequel. Like, where has this Lois been for the last ten years or so? When did she get back from the Congo? Why didn't she tell anyone in Metropolis that she was alive, not to mention where she was? And how come she's renting the Kent farm? Is she just hiding out, or is she actually working the land? If she's hiding, why is the place so well cared for? Wouldn't she want to deflect attention from herself? And was it a very happy accident or a deliberate move that put her in that particular part of the world at that particular time so Clark could find her?

Despite all those unanswered questions (they're mental fodder for your next fic, you see), this is indeed a sweet little vignette. Now all you have to do is to tell the story from Lois's point of view. Like, why she wasn't at the funeral, why she apparently doesn't recognize Clark as Superman (got to be the lack of underwear outside the clothes), why she so easily invites him in, stuff like that. And whether or not she feels that same mystical connection to him that he feels towards her.

Now that you've begun so very well, you have to keep it up! We can't let good writers like you get away. I add my combination lock to the duct tape already applied.

You've done it now. The secret is out! You can write.

Oooh! Nice work for a debut fic, Rona! Loved the introspection - really, very well done!

Wonderful, but you've made one HUGE error, and that's in the "/1" bit. It's really "1/?" right? There is more... right?

You wrote so beautifully that I could really see the imagery.

Oh, wow. I expected to check in this morning with no FDK, and instead I'm greeted by all this. Thanks so much to everyone for all of the kind words!

In response to all the questions about creating a sequel: This little vignette came to me last night as I was cramming for finals, and I knew it just had to be written before I forgot it. As a result, it isn't nearly as developed as I would want - I didn't even really have anything other than the ending until I started writing it! And I am cramming for finals (which somehow makes me want to do anything at all other than acutally *study*), so I don't have a whole lot of time currently.

That's not to say there won't be more though. As Terry pointed out, I left a lot of unanswered questions. I know that, and Lois does indeed have a story. The problem is, while she's told me some of what she has gone through, she hasn't told me everything yet. She's a little skittish. I'll have to work on getting her to open up to me a little more.

Thanks again so much for all the great comments! I didn't anticipate this sort of response. It does certainly make me feel like writing more!

I wanted to add my words of praise to everyone else. What a nice, sweet fic. I'm a sap for Alt-Clark happy endings, so I'm very happy right now.

As for Lois not opening up to you ... get into mad-dog mode and ask her if she's been to a parallel world where she met another Clark. Maybe that's part of the reason she's there? Sheesh - plot bunnies are multiplying by the minute. Can't wait to see what you do with it.

Welcome.
BJ

Love your story, Rona...and I agree with all that Terry said. Your whole story I could picture in my mind's eye...and I loved what I saw.

Thank you,

Fauve

Nice! My favorite line is:

Hope to see more stories.. yay!

Wow, excellent work! I was hooked with the first sentence. You really made me feel Clark's pain but at the end, there is hope!! Great twist, I never saw that coming!
I certainly wish your muse returns with more,
Natascha

Beautifully done, Rona. I'm always pleased with a story that puts poor Alt Clark out of his misery and gives him some happiness. And this was a lovely, cute way of doing it. Great introspection and prose, too.

I'm looking forward to seeing Lois's half of the story...once you get those pesky exams out of the way.

Thanks for sharing.

LabRat

Thanks everyone for all the feedback! I'm really working on thinking out Lois's story now, and I'm glad to say there's only a few pesky details that I still think need to be worked out before I can write something (like how DID she get to Kansas anyway?)

Thanks again for making me feel so welcome!!

Great vignette. Didn't see the ending coming. Oh what a surprise. But must have more. Agree with Terry. This can't be 1 of 1. I know take the muse out partying - with or without liquor partying always gets people talking. It's the happy endorphins.

I really liked this vignette - it captured alt-Clark's feeling of isolation and sadness. But having written a story once in which alt-Clark finds his Lois on the Kent farm, I wasn't taken by surprise at the ending.

There was something about the structure here, the build-up of Clark's loneliness, that was setting us up for the shift at the end. Lois with the gun is interesting - now what has happened to her to make her confront someone who comes to her door?

Like others here, I want to know. So bring on that next part.

c.

carol

Have I mentioned lately how much I love a good, WAFFy story? This was beautiful.

Even though a sequel would be nice, this story still had enough polish to the ending that it could easily stand alone. Well done.


Elisabeth

I'm coming in a bit late, but I'm with the others. Great start - I hope you'll write more. Lovely imagery, sweet, and I like the way it starts out focusing on a day that wouldn't really matter to Superman like it matters to some of the rest of us.

'Toc