Yeesh - just go with it. This is like the 4th edited version posted or something...
Thanks to Alisha and Beth
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*****
Chapter 22
*****
Lois sat straight up in bed, sweat pouring off of her. She stared, unseeing, straight ahead, her breathing rapid and shallow. The image of his face, so clearly above her was only slowly fading into the night.
A soothing voice finally began to seep into her consciousness.
"Lois. Honey, I'm here. He can't hurt you. I'm right here. It's just me, Clark. Come on, let him fade. He's not here; he can't hurt you."
Slowly, her respiration slowed and she turned to seek comfort in the arms of her husband. Tears flowed again as she was cradled against him, held safely in his strong arms. Clark had been leaning on one elbow, afraid to reach out to touch her for fear of scaring her. She could see that in his eyes as she turned and lay down next to him, safe in his embrace.
One hand gently rubbed her shoulder, while the other caressed her back. His touch was gentle, comforting, without demanding anything from her.
As her tears slowed and her breathing returned to normal, she finally found her voice. "I'm sorry," she said softly.
"Nothing to be sorry for." He pressed a light kiss into her hair. "Do you want to talk about it?"
She shrugged. "I could just see his face over me, laughing at me. He was telling me that you were leaving me for Mayson and he was going to keep me." Her voice caught as she finished.
"Oh, honey. I'm not going to leave you for anyone and he's going to go down for what he did to you."
"I'm starting to know that, but dreams aren't rational, especially nightmares."
"I know." They laid there for another minute. "Do you want me to make you some tea or something? A cup of hot chocolate?"
She shook her head. "Just hold me."
"Always."
*****
For long hours, Clark kept his vigil. He'd managed a few hours of sleep before Lois awoke screaming. He didn't think she even realized that she had been, but it was long minutes before she stopped and let him take her into his arms. Since then, he remained awake, keeping her safe in his arms.
It was the early morning hours, when Lucy crept in after her all night Relay for Life walk. He'd spoken to her in a quiet voice, telling her that Lois had had a nightmare and had woken up screaming, wanting to warn her of the possibility of it happening again. Lucy nodded, and after spending a few minutes in the bathroom, went up to go to bed herself.
It was late morning before Lois awoke out of her finally uneventful slumber. Clark had stayed with her the whole time, even though he was incredibly restless after hours upon hours of standing guard. Or laying guard. Whichever. He'd dozed a time or two but never slept deeply. When he was awake his fertile mind imagined a number of slow and excruciatingly painful deaths for the... thing who had attacked his wife in such a brutal manner.
When he'd finally hit the fourth drawn and quartered scenario that he found to be entirely too genteel, he decided to try something else. He wasn't a sadist, really. But the thought of Paul spending a number of years in prison for what he'd almost done to Lois – and what he'd surely done to others – just didn't cut it. There was some sick satisfaction in imagining scenarios that would prolong the pain and suffering even though he'd never actually act on them.
Lois had told Lucy stories. He remembered that – about fairy princesses, among other things. Could he make up stories like that? His stories as a kid tended to revolve around cowboys and Indians or, before he was eight or so, fighting off alien invaders. Even after he found out he was from Krypton, the occasional little green man put in an appearance. In high school – well, after he met Lois – they tended to revolve around the damsel in distress saved by a shining knight riding off in the sunset on a white horse together – after working together to defeat the little green men, of course.
So what kind of story could come up with now? Action/adventure with a splash of romance. Sounded good.
He closed his eyes and found himself instead thinking of fairy princesses. It surprised him. What kind of adventures did those fairy princesses have? What kind of fairy princes came to save them?
He shook his head slightly. He was a *man*, for crying out loud. He wasn’t supposed to be daydreaming about stories about fairy princesses.
Back to the action adventure thing.
Lois had chosen that moment to stir, coming slowly to wakefulness.
"Hey," he said softly. "How're you feeling?"
She slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "Better, I think."
"Good." He glanced at the clock. "I think you got about 7 or 8 hours of sleep since..." he trailed off.
"Since the nightmare?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Are you hungry?"
"Yeah. That pasta was a long time ago."
"Pancakes? With bacon and eggs?"
"That sounds good."
"Lucy's asleep upstairs. Do you want to take a shower or...?"
She shook her head. "No. Think I'll just watch you make breakfast."
He smiled and swung his feet over the side of the bed. "Sounds like a plan." He headed towards the kitchen.
"Clark?"
He stopped and turned to look at her. "Yeah?"
"Thank you," she said softly.
He smiled. "It's what I'm here for."
*****
Clark pulled his text for his American Presidency course out of his backpack. He'd tried studying Thursday night, but his uneasiness had prevented him from accomplishing much. Friday had been spent pacing while Lois was on campus, then at the Planet, then catching up on some much needed sleep.
His Advanced Newspaper Reporting notebook was the next thing to come out. Something fell out with it. The letter sized envelope had his name on the front. He turned it over in his hands.
Lois looked up from her book. "What's that?"
He shrugged. "No idea. It's got my name on it, but I don't recognize the handwriting." He slipped his finger under the flap and ripped it open. He scanned the page and he felt the color leave his face as he did. "Oh..."
"What?"
He folded it, then held it in his hands and stared at it. "We got a lot of things out in the open the other night right?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"There's a total of four times since we got married that I can think of that I intentionally misled you about something. First, not telling you about the whole Kryptonian powers thing."
"Right."
"The second was not telling you about the soul mates, Kryptonian telepathic thing in my mom's letter."
"Right."
He ran a hand over his face and could tell Lois was starting to get a bit scared.
"The other two were when Aunt Louise died last year."
She put her pen down, knowing these were things that she had no idea about.
He stared at his hands. "When Aunt Louise told you in her letter to tell me that she was still right, I wasn't completely honest with you about what she meant."
He saw a tear streak down her face.
"What she was talking about was something she told me the day we got married. After you got in the car before we left for the hotel, she gave me a hug and said that someday you'd love me like I loved you; that we'd make it out of the platonic part of our marriage and on to a better place. That you'd wear whatever it is that she gave you, and I'd know."
She nodded.
"The other thing was what Jor-El said to me after the message we both saw. I told you he said that they loved me and they were proud of me, which he did. But he also said that he could tell there was a great weight on my shoulders and a great sadness in my life, but that together we could get through it." He looked her straight in the eye. "I swear to you those are the only things I've ever misled you about."
She nodded again, and he could see the tears threatening to overwhelm her.
"Here." He handed the piece of paper to her.
*****
Lois slowly unfolded the piece of paper, wondering what on earth it could be and why it made Clark confess to the two other times he'd misled her over the years. As he spoke, the fear had welled up inside of her, but as he revealed the two things, she understood why he'd kept them from her. They would have only freaked her out and made her run scared if he'd told her last year. If that was all it was, she could live with it, but what was this?
She began to read it aloud. "'Dear Clark, This is the hardest thing I've ever done and I hope that it turns out well.'" She refused to let herself read ahead, not even glancing to the bottom to see who it was from. "'When we met two years ago, I thought you were too good to be true. You care deeply for those around you and that is one of the things I admire most about you. You moved across the country to marry a girl you hardly knew to take care of her and her sister when it was probably unnecessary to keep them out of the 'system'. You've sacrificed your life for the last three and a half years for something that wasn't necessary.'
"'You are a good and decent man and from the things you've said and not said I can tell that you're not happy in your marriage. You made a promise to help until your sister-in-law was out of foster care and she finished high school and until college was over. That time has come. From everything you've said and not said I know that she doesn't love you.'
"'Not like I do.'"
Lois' voice broke. "'There I said it. I love you, Clark. I think I always have. And I know she doesn't. Don't ask me how I know that, but I do. You've never said anything about your plans beyond college just that it depended on some things. I've always gotten the impression that it depended on whether or not she leaves you. That alone should tell you something.'
"'But the thing is that I love you and I would be happy to have you in my life. I would never make you wonder where you stood with me.'
"'I'm not going to be at school on Friday, but if there is any chance for us, I'll be in my room Saturday and Sunday nights after six waiting for you. Love, Mayson.'"
She folded the letter and set it on the coffee table.
"I swear, I had no clue," Clark said quietly. "She asked me out like three days after I met her and I told her I was married and could be nothing more than her friend. She's had at least four or five boyfriends since then. She's never given me any indication that she wanted something more." He looked at her. "I promise. We've never been alone together, ever. We've always been in public and most of the time someone else has been with us. Since Aunt Louise died, it almost always been someone you know. This year, I've eaten with Jimmy nearly every day that I wasn't with you and with Joe or Les or both or all of them the rest of the time. I've never seen her outside of class or lunch, except that day our class was canceled. I don't know why she thinks I'm not happy or that you don't love me. The only thing I can think of is that I never really talked much about you at all – sticking to school or sports or the weather and she took that to mean..." He raked his hands through his hair. "I had no idea. I promise you."
"I believe you," she said quietly.
"If I'd had any idea, I would have set her straight, again. I knew I probably shouldn't see her – or *any* woman – as often as I did even though it was incidental as far as I was concerned. I hoped that when I started eating with the guys she'd take the hint because we talked sports and stuff like that and she wasn't interested in that kind of stuff. I didn't want to be rude and tell her that she wasn't welcome, but hoped that she'd make that choice on her own." He took a deep breath. "She never did."
"I see that." She stared at the letter. "What are you going to do?"
His head jerked up and he looked at her intently. "What do you mean?"
"Are you going to go?"
"Why would I? She said for me to come if there was hope for us and there isn't. There is absolutely no future for... I don't even want to say 'us' which is the most obvious word there, because there is no 'us'. There's you and me. That's the only 'us' I'm a part of; the only 'us' I want to be a part of."
"Don't you want to tell her that?"
Clark sighed. "I don't know how to get her to believe me and I’m not about to go to her dorm room."
"Thank you." She thought for another minute. "How about we go together?"
He raised a brow at her. "What? You actually want to go over there?"
She nodded. "I think it's high time I met Mayson Drake."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh, yeah."
*****
Lois raised her hand knocked on the door, then moved to the side where she wouldn't be seen through the peephole.
"Coming," came a voice from inside.
"Let me do the talking," Lois hissed.
"You usually do," Clark whispered back. "But try to be nice, please."
Lois glared at him. "Good luck with that."
"I just don’t want to have to bail you out of prison."
"You won't," Lois promised.
The door opened to reveal a beautiful blond. She was obviously dressed up, wearing a black dress that fitted to her curves, held up only by spaghetti straps. "Clark, I'm so glad..." Mayson stopped midsentence when she realized he wasn't alone.
Lois pushed the door open and then swept her way into the dorm room. She glanced around and raised an eyebrow. There were unlit candles all around the room and a bottle of wine open on the desk. One glass was already poured and another stood ready. "Expecting someone?" She turned and held her hand out. "Hi, I'm Lois *Kent*, Clark's *wife*."
She saw Mayson swallow hard, but she reached out and shook Lois' hand. "Mayson."
"Yeah, I figured." She glanced at Clark. "You want to shut that door, honey? I’m sure *Mayson* doesn't want the whole floor to hear the conversation we're about to have."
Clark shut the door, but stayed near it, uncertain as to what his wife was going to do.
"So," Lois started. "I hear you're in love with my husband."
"What?"
Lois pulled the letter out of the back pocket of her jeans. "Let's see... Didn't have to marry her. Doesn't love you. Here it is. 'There I said it. I love you, Clark. I think I always have.' Sounds to me like you're trying to tell my husband you're in love with him."
"Was that addressed to you?" Mayson's eyes were wide.
"Well, no," Lois admitted. "But the first thing Clark did after he read it was hand it to me so I could. My *husband* and I don’t have secrets. I know you asked him out three days after you met and I know that he told you he was married. I know you dated Dan Scardino and at least three or four other guys since then. I know he's never, ever been alone with you; you've always been in public together – in full view of anyone walking by. I know that you wouldn't dare show up to eat lunch with him when I'm there. I know that most of the time, there's been other people there with you. I know that for the last who knows how long, he's been too polite to tell you to get lost. He ate lunch with *his* friends, with *my* friends and you weren't entirely welcome but you couldn't take the hint when the conversations continually revolved around things you had no interest in. I know this year my sister's boyfriend has been there almost every time I'm not.
"You're not the first woman to try to take him from me and she was no more successful than you're going to be and he'd known her since they were in preschool. I know you think that you know him and are madly in love with him, but I think you don't know him at all. How about a little quiz?
Mayson said nothing.
"Let's see... Where's he from?"
"Kansas."
"Where in Kansas?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "A small town."
"Smallville. When's his birthday?"
"Ah, February 28," came the tentative reply.
"Very good. Did he tell you that, did someone else tell you, or did you ask?"
Mayson shrugged. "I have no idea."
Lois looked at Clark, one eyebrow raised.
"She asked," he said.
"Did you know he has an eidetic memory? Remembers *everything*. Do you know why he got a 'B' in biology in high school? The only 'B' on his high school transcript."
"No."
"Do you know where his first kiss was or with who?"
"No."
Lois leaned closer and whispered. "It was with me, just so you know." Her voice went back to normal. "Do you know what his birth parents left him?"
"No."
"What his adopted mom left him? What she left *me*?"
"No."
"What his biggest fear is?"
"You leaving him?"
"Wrong." She glanced at Clark.
"She's right," he said. "That's not it."
"What his biggest secret is?"
"No."
"His most valued possession?"
"No."
"What the last thing his parents said to each other before they went to bed was or the last thing his mom said to him every night when she tucked him in?"
"No."
"Do you know who he took to his senior prom or why?"
"No."
"If he prefers to make love in the morning or at night?"
Mayson's skin had been getting more and more pale with each question, but it flared red with that one. "No," she whispered.
"Obviously, if you think yourself in love with him, you've thought about these things, right?"
Mayson didn't move.
"Do you know if he likes to be on top? If he's an 'only in the bed' kind of guy or if he likes to be more adventurous than that? If he likes to be the aggressor or if he likes his *wife* to be? Or both from time to time? Does he prefer sexy lingerie or slutty? Or does it depend on his mood? Or does he prefer seeing his *wife* wearing only one of his dress shirts? Do you know how he likes to be kissed? Do you know any of those things?" Out of the corner of her eye she saw Clark turning eight shades of red.
Mayson shook her head.
"And I bet you also have no idea what he sounds like when he sings in the shower; why he hates planes; or how much he actually works out to keep that body you're just dying to get your hands on. You have no idea where the last place he was truly happy was – before he married *me*. Sure you may have eaten more meals with my husband than I have the last couple of years because we've worked our butts off to get through school with no debt and graduate at the same time so we can move on with our lives."
She moved closer to the slightly taller blond woman, her eyes narrowing. "You may *think* you know him and that he'll choose you over me, but just remember... Every morning for the last three and a half years, before he left to help take care of his family, he kissed *me* goodbye. Every *night* for the last three and a half years - *every* night - he's been in *my* bed, wrapped in *my* arms and kissed *me* goodnight. A few lunches spent in the company of others don't begin to compare to that. He's never slept with another woman and I don't know why you think he's going to start with you." She looked the other woman up and down scornfully. "Get your own man and keep your hands off mine." She turned on her heel and headed towards the door.
Clark opened it for her and looked at the young woman standing broken in the middle of her dorm room. "Good-bye, Mayson." And then he left.
*****
Lois walked purposefully out of the dorm room, grateful that the room was only on the second floor. She dashed down the stairs, aware that Clark was following her. Knowing that the window of the room they'd just left overlooked the front door of the building, she slowed enough for Clark to catch up with her and wrap his arms around her, pulling her to him as she came to a stop in front of the building.
After only a moment, she took a deep breath and left one arm wrapped around him as they walked off.
*****
"I'm sorry, Clark. I really didn't mean to go off on her like that." Lois rested her head on his shoulder as they worked their way across campus.
"It's okay." He kissed the side of her head. "I don't know that she would have taken the hint any other way." He smiled a bit. "I have to admit, it was kind of nice seeing you like that though."
"Like what? A witch?"
"No, like a lioness defending her territory. And I'm your territory."
Lois sighed. "I know things haven't been great between us, but that doesn't mean I want to see you with anyone but me."
"I just don't know how you had it in you after everything..."
Lois stopped and wrapped her arms back around him. "I don't..."
Then she started to shake. Her legs gave way beneath her and the only things holding her up were Clark's arms.
"Hey, what is it?"
She shook her head, unable to form the words. "I don't think I can do this," she finally whispered. "I mean I know it's too late; the wheels are in motion and even if they weren't, it's the right thing to do. Next time, or the time after that, or the time after that, it could have a much more violent outcome."
As she spoke, Clark had picked her up into his arms and carried her easily to a nearby bench. He sat down, holding her on his lap, pulling her head to his shoulder.
"I'll be with you every step of the way."
"I know." For long minutes, she had her head buried into his shoulder. "Oh, no. Talking to her like that was a huge mistake," she groaned.
"What? Why? Could it have been handled differently? Maybe, but you didn't do anything wrong, honey."
"I pissed off and humiliated a potential witness."
"What?"
"She's a part of this. She has no idea but she's a part of this. The allegations about the two of you... She's probably going to be asked about it officially at some point – by the cops and probably Cat and what I just did..."
"I think, deep down, she's a decent person and I think she'll do the right thing."
"I hope so, but if it comes down to our word against hers and Paul's and... whoever else..."
"Did you ever tell anyone that you thought that..."
She shook her head slightly against him. "No."
"So there's no one else but her who has any direct knowledge – anything else is rumor or speculation. Jimmy knows there's nothing between me and her."
Clark glanced up and saw the object of their discussion walk into the lit area where they were seated. She had her head down and was walking swiftly somewhere. She'd changed into jeans and a T-shirt. Suddenly, she looked up and directly at them, stopping mid-stride. Clark's arms tightened perceptibly around Lois and he quickly looked away.
Lois swiped at her eyes and stood up quickly, catching him off-guard. She too saw the woman looking at them and then froze. She took a deep breath, grateful for Clark's hand on the small of her back as he stood next to her.
"Mayson," she said as the other woman started to walk off. "Please, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Mayson stopped and looked at her. "Why? Why should I? You made yourself perfectly clear earlier."
"Because I want to apologize. I'm sorry. I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that and I'm sorry that I did." She rubbed at her cheeks with her fingers trying to erase the tear tracks. She felt Clark put his arm around her shoulders and pull her closer to him. "It's no excuse, but I've had a... very difficult couple of days and I snapped. You bore the brunt of that because you were there and convenient. I'm not going to apologize for coming to see you or for defending my marriage, but I went a bit overboard and..."
"You've had a bad day? That's your excuse for humiliating me?"
"Mayson," Clark's voice stopped her. "You have no idea what the last couple of days have been like for Lois. Difficult doesn't begin to describe it."
"What could be so horrible that it would excuse that?"
Lois closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Is there somewhere where we can talk? What happened... well, you're a part of it, even if you don't know anything about it yet."
Mayson's eyes narrowed. "*I'm* a part of it?"
Clark nodded, but turned to Lois. "Are you sure, honey? That you want to do this now?"
"Yes." She turned back to Mayson, waiting expectantly.
Mayson thought then nodded. "Okay. I'm probably a fool for doing this, but okay. Where do you want to go?"
Clark looked at Lois. "Where?"
"Somewhere we can't be overheard by anyone." She looked at the ground and leaned slightly more on Clark. "Would you be willing to come to our apartment? The only people who might overhear there are my sister and her boyfriend – if they're even there – and they already know most of this anyway, but it's something that we can't talk about in public right now."
Mayson took a deep breath. "Okay, but I need to get something to eat first. Can I meet you there in about thirty minutes?"
Lois nodded. "Thank you."
*****
TBC
