Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: Learning to Love, 34/?

That was a great chapter, Carol.
Melanie

I thought the talk with Perry and Clark was really lovely. It was nice to see Clark bond with a father figure. You have Perry's voice down pat.

Really enjoyed this chapter very much.

Carol, I have been following your story but been too busy to leave feedback. Darn graduate school! Anyway, this was absolutely lovely. I was so excited to see another part posted. I almost sent the police after you last week!

This had to be really hard for Clark and I love Perry for listening. Sometimes, having someone just to listen to us makes all the difference in the world. This is just so touching. Poor Clark. But together he and Lois can make new memories and move forward. I sure hope that Lois will soon want to be with him so that he can show her what it feels like to be made love to.

This was a sweet chapter. I loved it! Carol, you bring these characters to life. Well don and I'll see you on Wednesday with part 35!

BRAVA!
~Sheila

Aw, good venting. I'm glad Clark has a confidant when it gets too much. Now then, on a more serious note, you're going to stop posting until July when I get back from kayaking, right?

Kidding, great part!
JD

To me, the key quote of this part, and maybe the key quote of the entire fic so far, is this:

Wow. Lois understands what it means to love, and she dows love, too - she loves Lucy so unswervingly, and she does love Clark, too, in her own way. What she doesn't know, and what she needs to learn, is how to be given love by someone else, and how to accept that love.

Clark and Lois's big, big problem - that Lois isn't ready for intimacy - probably has to do with the fact that she doesn't fully trust the kind of love that others are prepared to give to her. And, of course, she can't believe, not not on a gut level, that sex can be an expression of love. Consider her parents. Their marriage basically meant that Ellen sold herself and her body to her husband in return for financial security, almost like she had been a prostitute. Because, just like a prostitute, she could never ask her husband that he should give himself to her. He wasn't even ashamed to admit that he had a lot of girlfriends, and he had even worded his marriage vows in such a way that they didn't include a vow of fidelity. When Sam and Ellen had sex, their intimacy basically proved that Ellen was a kept woman and Sam a free agent. Sex turned Ellen into a piece of property whose body Sam was free to use for his own pleasure. It's no wonder that Lois doesn't want to do anything that could put herself in Ellen's position. Yes, she should trust Clark, and in a way she does - but she hasn't learnt how to *be* loved, and she hasn't begun to figure out how to accept sex as an expression of love.

Add to that, of course, the fact that Lois was almost raped. All her fears of sex must have been magnified, and her gut instinct, which tells her that sex has nothing to do with love, must have been so strongly reincforced. Because what can be less loving than rape? No act can separate sex from love as completely as rape does. How can a person who hasn't learnt to *be* loved trust sex as an expression of love, after she has been assaulted and almost raped?

And that near-rape was Lois's first own experience of sex. I was so moved by Clark's agony. If only he had been allowed to be the first. Because even if Lois hadn't been really ready for it at that time, it wouldn't have been horrible for her. Their sex wouldn't have been an expression of the opposite of love.

Oh, poor, poor Clark.

I loved how patiently and respectfully Perry listened to Clark's tale. I also loved how Perry was the one who pointed out the distinction between sex without love and sex with love:

I also loved that Perry told Clark this:

Yes indeed, it is important to show, but it is equally important to tell. Clark has begun to understand that, but I'm still glad that Perry reinforced it for him.

What a wonderful, moving chapter, Carol.

Ann

Wonderful part, Carol.
I never saw that one coming.

And 60 parts total. WOW. Wait, does this mean Clark will have to what another 26 parts and what, another year or two? Poor boy. *me goes and looks up Paul in jail cell. Drawing and Quartering isn't just for high treason anymore*

And you finally told us about their love language. I only caught it almost a sentence later what Perry was talking about. So clever interwoven.

Looking forward to the rest, Michael

I'm glad you guys enjoyed this section and I'm glad you didn't send guys with little pointy sticks after me last week Sheila!

I did make quite a bit of progress this weekend, but a big chunk of that was getting to some of the pre-written stuff and needing to only tweak it. Progress has slowed down again since then, but hopefully not to the point of needing to but back the posting schedule again.

That said... Michael - you never know how long Clark's going to have to wait .

Ann - when I typed that it surprised me to realize how true it was. Some people are able to love, but unable to accept it. They know how to sacrifice and be there and do what has to be done and love someone else, but they don't understand what it means to let someone do that for them when the time comes. Lois hasn't ever had anyone but Clark love her like that. How we are raised has a huge impact on who we are as adults and Lois wasn't raised knowing what it means to have the unconditional love of someone else - her parents, mainly. And parents are usually where we learn what roles in a marriage should be like [right or wrong]. Lucy had another model to see, even though she didn't know how flawed it was 'behind closed doors' in that she doesn't know all the aspects of L/C's marriage, but it's much closer to the loving relationship a marriage should be than S/E's ever was. She sees both of them sacrificing for the other and for her and I think that makes her more able to have that kind of relationship more easily than Lois. We'll see more of her and Jimmy before long.

Anyway - I think I have a bit of the dialog finally worked out in the next section - so look for it soon .
Carol

Three and a half years... poor, poor Clark. He has proved that he's indeed a very, very, very, super patient man.

I, too, was moved by the description of how loving Lois is. I'm proud of Clark, who frequently feels unloved (even though he knows his feelings lie), for pointing out exactly how loving Lois is. He understands what Lois sacrificed to be with him, even though he also knows that it shouldn't have been a sacrifice.

I was glad that Perry talked about the differences between rape and marital sex. I just wish he had pointed out that the difference is because rape isn't really sex; it's violence. I know that we call it sex, but the differences between sex and rape are so vast that at some point we need to use different language.

Finally, I wanted to assure you that this section didn't feel repetitive. While it did include a recap of much of the story, it did it in a different voice. Also, much of what was discussed happened so many pages ago that it didn't hurt to have a reminder of what that felt like.

Regrets seem to be an interesting theme running through this segment. Clark almost has regrets that he didn't let things get out of hand on their wedding night. He doestn't quite have regrets that he didn't start dating her right after graduation. Regrets, near regrets, not quite regrets--all interesting stuff.


Elisabeth

Finally?...

Clark's a saint, but he's not dead-yet.