Again, thanks go out to some of the most awesome betas - Alisha, Beth, Nancy, and CarolynK.
There's some... slurring in this section and extra special thanks go out to Beth for drinking pretend alcohol and pretending to be drunk to help me get it right
.
There is a real multi-day event described in this section. I went back and forth between the wiki [link below] and a 1988 calendar to try to get the days/dates matched up right. If I didn't, pretend
. Or let me know. Whichever.
*****
Chapter 35
*****
September 1988
*****
Clark bit his bottom lip as he watched the news. It was in Greek, but they'd both picked up quite a bit in the months they'd lived there. Clark was nearly fluent. Lois wasn't, but she could get by.
"What is it?" Lois asked from the table where she was working on their latest article.
"Hurricane Gilbert."
"I saw that yesterday. Did it make landfall?"
"It passed right over Jamaica."
Lois' eyes softened. "Is it bad?"
"Sounds like it."
"Then why don't you go? See what you can do?"
Clark glanced at the clock. It wasn't late in Greece. Surely he could go help for a little while and be back before it got too late. "Are you sure?"
"Yes. Put on some old clothes and go."
Clark zipped into the bedroom and came back out seconds later wearing some old dark clothes. He stopped behind Lois and pressed a kiss onto the crown of her head. "Thank you. I'll be back in a little while."
She smiled at him. "Be careful. And remember, there's only so much you can do."
He nodded and then was gone.
Several hours later, Lois had changed into her pajamas and was watching a movie on TV. It was an old favorite, but dubbed in Greek and she giggled at some of the translations. She looked up as the door opened. Clark was clean – not muddy or anything like that; she suspected a dip in the Atlantic or Med might be part of the reason – but he looked tired. Even though he hadn't been gone all that long, it seemed that what had happened had taken a toll on him.
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Maybe later. Right now, I just want a shower," he told her as he headed towards the bathroom. He emerged ten minutes later and headed straight for bed to find Lois already there. He crawled in next to her, leaning his head back to rest it on the wall behind him.
She took a deep breath and reached for his hand, pulling it onto her lap. "Was it harder than you expected?"
He nodded and she put her other hand over the top of his. She waited for him to go on.
"There were people trapped," he finally said. "I was able to get to some of them, but..." He paused and tears filled his eyes. Lois gently stroked the back of his hand with her own. "There was one little boy that I didn't get to in time." His voice broke. "I was almost there, but there were other people around and I couldn't go as fast as I could and the car swept off and I couldn't get to it without calling too much attention to myself. There was a news crew nearby... I don't think they got a good look at me – I was pretty muddy by then but... His mom was right there, screaming..." His voice trailed off.
"How many people did you save?" she asked him quietly.
He shrugged.
"Search that memory of yours. How many people did you save?"
"Twelve," he finally said.
"Men? Women? Children?"
"Three men, five women, one pregnant woman and three children."
"So there are at least three families, probably more, and dozens of people who didn't lose family members that they would have if you hadn't been there."
It was several minutes before he nodded. "I could have saved him though. If I had been able to move just a little bit faster without drawing attention to myself..."
Lois rested her head on his shoulder. "Whatever you can do... it's enough. There are moms and dads and kids, and even a new baby who are going to live because you were there."
"Yeah, I guess."
"I *know*."
They sat there for long minutes more when Lois finally dozed off, her head still on his shoulder, his hand still in her lap. Clark gently moved her until she was lying down and, hopefully, more comfortable. He slid down behind her and pulled her close to him, but it was a long time before he went to sleep.
*****
They left early the next morning for Halkidiki. They were staying for ten days and enjoying the sun and surf while they were there. They were going scuba diving for most of that day. The evening would be spent at one of the local casinos before they enjoyed their first night at the Porto Carras Grand Resort. They'd hiked there a few weeks before but hadn't stayed long. The next day they'd be discovering the area on horseback. The days after that would be spent exploring the area and the resort - sailing, swimming and all sorts of other things.
Though Clark didn't strictly need scuba gear, they'd both been certified since arriving in Greece and had enjoyed exploring the waters around their Mediterranean home.
Many of the excursions they'd taken could be done on a budget, but a couple were more on the high end. Those were extra nice – and technically they were well off enough to enjoy those kinds of places even if they weren't either comp'ed or partially paid for by the Planet.
Thursday evening they were back in their suite after dinner when Lois turned the late news on while Clark took a shower. She translated in her head. 'After killing 45 in Jamaica, Hurricane Gilbert sideswiped the Caymans. No deaths have been reported, but it is believed that there is extensive damage to homes as well as crops and other vegetation. He made landfall as a category 5 hurricane passing over Cozumel and then coming ashore at the Yucatan Peninsula. It is expected that large numbers of homes will be destroyed and that, combined with massive amounts of rainfall and the resultant flooding, may result in the loss of a number of lives.'
He would go. She knew he would. And she wanted him to.
Even though he'd taken the loss of that little boy hard, she knew that he knew he'd done a lot of good too. It was harder to see because the loss was much easier for him to recognize but it was there.
They'd had a lot of fun the last couple of days, but she'd noticed him staring at a couple different little boys on the beach and in the hotel dining room. She'd known what he was thinking about. She'd seen the footage from the news crew. He'd helped a pregnant woman, her husband and two other kids out before the last little boy was swept away with the car. The news crew had interviewed the family later and they were upset about losing their son, but also grateful for what they still had and wished they could find the man who saved them so they could thank him. They couldn’t find him anywhere, they'd said. Lois doubted they were looking in Greece.
He'd seen that too. And he knew he'd done what he could without jeopardizing all of them – herself, Lucy, Jimmy, the Whites. He just had to come to the realization that whatever he could do was enough. It had to be or this would eat him up inside.
Clark finally came out of the bathroom. "What did the news say?"
"They reran part of the interview with that family and said it's getting ready to hit the Yucatan Peninsula."
"Ah."
"Go."
He looked intently at her. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"It's bedtime."
"I know." She smiled at him. "I'll be fine. I promise."
He shook his head. "I don't want to leave you at night. I promised myself I wouldn't."
"I'm a big girl, Clark. We both know that if you don't go, you'll end up feeling guilty about it later."
He sat next to her. "And if you have nightmares? And I'm not here?"
"I'll survive nightmares. Those people need help. Whatever you can do is enough, but you have to go to do it. If you don't..."
"If you're absolutely sure..." He reached out and cradled her face in his hand, knowing how difficult this must be for her.
"I am," she smiled. "Now go."
*****
Lois had paced until she was practically asleep standing up. She'd told Clark she would be fine and that she'd survive any nightmares that came – and she would – but that didn't mean she was looking forward to it. In the wee hours of the morning she'd finally curled up on the couch under Clark's poncho liner and gone to sleep.
She wasn't sure how long it had been when she realized that she was sitting straight up and breathing heavily. She'd been back in the conference room again, his leering face looking down at her, his hands groping her, his voice telling her that Clark wasn't ever coming back.
And now, drenched in sweat, she was alone.
As her breathing slowed, she pulled the blanket tighter around her and slowly – so slowly – she began to feel safe again. Clark was coming back. He was helping in the aftermath of the most powerful Atlantic hurricane in recorded history. She'd told him to go – she'd survive if she had a nightmare, but others might not if he stayed here instead of going.
But as much as she knew he'd beat himself up if he hadn't gone, she also knew he'd beat himself up for not being here when she woke up. It was the first time she'd had a nightmare since all of this had started and he hadn't been there.
She'd survived.
He wasn't here, but she'd survived.
In some ways, that seemed like a major hurdle to have overcome.
She settled back down on to the couch under the blanket and somehow managed to doze back off.
*****
Lois was dressed and nearly ready to go by herself when Clark opened the door. She put her pajamas in the dirty laundry bag. "Hey, how'd it go?"
Clark rubbed his neck and shrugged. "Fine, I guess. I was able to help. It was like Jamaica all over again though – only this time there was more than just one little boy I couldn’t get to."
Lois walked to him and wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling him rest his head on her shoulder as his arms came around her, pulling her closer to him. She could smell the dirt and grime on him. He must have taken a swim on his way back but it was still there. They stood there for long minutes before he finally released her.
"I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. What's on our agenda for today?"
Lois frowned. It wasn't like him. He was the one who remembered itineraries and schedules. "Sailing," she reminded him. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah. I just need a shower."
"I ordered breakfast. It should be here in a few minutes."
"I'm not really hungry, but thanks."
She chewed her bottom lip as she watched him walk towards the bathroom. She hoped he really was okay.
The day showed that, physically, he was fine. He had no trouble keeping up with their sailing instructions and helping with their boat. They took several breaks to swim and he did with abandon, at least once swimming farther than he probably should have given the time constraints they were under during that swim break.
But emotionally... That was a different story. Lois kept a close eye on him and could see that he wasn't quite himself. Normally open and friendly with nearly everyone, he was quiet and reserved.
During both lunch and dinner, he'd only picked at his food. Though food wasn’t strictly necessary for him, he loved to eat but tonight... Lois realized he was staring over her shoulder at the bar in the restaurant. She turned and saw the television. Though the sounds was turned down and it was on a station that normally didn't show the news at this time of evening, the top of the hour update was on and showing the aftermath of the hurricane in Mexico.
Lois motioned to their waiter and asked to have the check brought over. She signed it quickly, charging the meal to their room.
Clark was quiet as he followed her to the elevator and back to their suite. As soon as she'd let them in, she turned.
"Are you sure you're up to going back?"
He started as she spoke. "What?"
"Going back. Are you sure you're up for it?"
He shook his head. "I'm not leaving you a second night in a row."
She moved to stand in front of him and using her hand, made him look at her. "You want to go back and help, don't you? All day all you've thought about is the people you couldn't help last night and the people you weren't helping while we were sailing around the Med, weren't you?"
He nodded guiltily. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "but yeah, I was."
"Why are you sorry? You want to help, but you also want to fulfill your obligations here – to me, to Perry, to the Planet. You're torn."
He nodded again.
"So, are you sure you're up to going back? You haven't slept in 36 hours – are you going to make it another night helping with search and rescue?"
Clark sighed and sat on the couch. "It's daytime in Mexico and will be for a while. The sun will help – a lot."
"But will you be okay?"
"I think so."
"Then you're going to go." It was a statement, not a question.
"I'm not leaving you a second night in a row," he reiterated.
Lois squatted down in front of him. "I made it through last night and I'll make it through tonight. Would I prefer that you stay? Of course, but I would never stop you from helping except for the most extreme of reasons. And sleeping a little better isn't extreme."
Clark looked straight in her eyes. "How did you sleep last night?"
She shrugged. "I've slept better, but I survived."
"Did you have a nightmare?"
She paused for a moment. "Yes, I did. But I survived and I'll survive if I have one tonight."
"Which one was it?" he asked softly.
She shrugged again, throwing herself off balance and landing on the floor.
"Lo-is..." he warned.
"Paul," she whispered.
"Oh, honey." He reached out and cradled her face in his palm. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."
She shook her head. "You were where you needed to be."
"I'm supposed to be here with you."
"No. Last night, those people in Mexico needed you more than I did."
"I promised," he whispered. "I promised *you* that I would always be there when you needed me."
"And I told you to go."
Clark sighed then nodded, dropping his hand from her face. "Are you *sure*?"
"Yes."
"What's on our agenda for tomorrow?"
Lois shook her head. "Nothing. Tomorrow is a day at the resort. Pool, swimming, maybe the sauna and a massage. That's it."
"Okay. I'll be back in time to hang out with you tomorrow."
"No. If you're needed there, stay. I can get a tan and a massage without you."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. If things calm down enough, come back. If not, stay."
"Are you sure?" His look was one of concern.
"Yes. I'm sure. If you're needed stay tomorrow, too. As long as you don't overdo it. If you're tired or overwhelmed or need a break, either come back or go to Perry and Alice's to take a nap."
Clark sighed then nodded. "Okay. What about Sunday? What're we doing?"
"Hike is on the schedule, but we can rearrange it if we need to."
He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her forehead. "I'll check in if I can."
"I know."
"Thank you."
She smiled at him. "Go."
He kissed her on the head again and then was out the door.
Lois glanced at her watch and waited three full minutes before sinking back onto the couch – long enough to make sure that Clark was long gone. She wanted him to be there with her – desperately – but she also didn't want to keep him from helping whoever he could in Mexico.
She'd survived the night before without him. Surely she could survive again.
*****
The night before, she'd paced the floor until her eyes wouldn't stay open any longer. This night, she watched a little bit of television then took a shower and put on her new favorite pair of pajamas.
They were the purple ones Clark had bought for her. It surprised her that they had become favorites – she would have thought they'd be a reminder of *why* he'd bought them. Instead they were a reminder of what he'd sacrificed over the last several years so that he'd had the money to buy them for her – even though that wasn't what he'd intended to spend the money on – and of how they'd come through stronger and closer than ever.
So at something approaching a reasonable hour, she pulled the covers back on the big bed she would sleep in by herself and, foregoing the linens provided by the hotel, pulled Clark's poncho liner around her. For some reason, she loved it and it was Clark's. While not nearly as good as having him here to keep the nightmares away, it helped make her feel a little more secure.
She'd pulled the curtains as tightly closed as possible, hoping to get to sleep a bit late, but it wasn't to be. She woke early and felt vaguely unsettled. Maybe it was because Clark wasn't here. Though she didn't actually remember waking up in the middle of the night, she knew she'd had nightmares. They were there, just beyond the reach of her conscious mind. She didn't want to try too hard to remember. Deciding to take another shower and order room service, she made those the first orders of the day.
She wanted to call Perry, but a glance at the clock told her it wouldn't be appreciated – it was the middle of the night in Metropolis.
Sighing, she tugged her robe around her a little tighter before answering the knock on the door. She'd ordered enough for two – it wouldn’t do for someone to realize that the room had only been charged for one meal. Realizing she hadn't eaten much at dinner the night before, she quickly downed about half of each meal.
Part of her was glad this was a day for relaxing because there was no pressure for her to be anywhere at any given time. Well, that wasn't strictly accurate. She'd made an appointment for a massage for late afternoon, but that was still many hours away.
She dressed for a day at the pool and, grabbing a towel and her beach bag, left the room.
*****
Lois tossed her bag onto the couch. It had been a fairly pleasant day overall. It would have been nicer if Clark had been with her, just hanging out at the pool, swimming some laps, but not bad at all. She'd made the massage reservations for two, telling them that Clark wasn't feeling well when she called back later to cancel one.
She looked at the clock, flipping LNN International on as she went. The coverage, at the moment, was in Greek, but she could see from the pictures that they were talking about Mexico.
Her eyes narrowed as she watched the search and rescue footage near Cozumel. Was that Clark? A closer shot confirmed to her that it was. He looked tired. Tired and dirty. No one else would recognize him, not knowing that he was supposed to be in Greece. Their family – Perry, Alice, Jimmy and Lucy – were the only ones who might.
She picked up the phone and dialing the ridiculously long string of numbers, waited for Perry to answer the phone.
"White here."
"Hi, Perry," she said quietly.
"Lois, darlin'! How's Greece?"
"You should know – or has Jimmy not been giving you our articles?"
"Oh, no he has, but with all this Hurricane Gilbert coverage, I haven't done much more than skim them the last couple of days. Jerry – the new night editor; did I tell you about him? – has been proofing them for me. How's Clark?"
How to word it so Perry would understand? "Oh, we've been watching and reading the hurricane coverage too. Did you see the footage of that man trying to rescue the little boy in Jamaica?" she asked softly.
Perry paused for a minute, as though digesting the words. "You mean, where a man rescued four or five people and then the car was swept away before he could help the last little boy?"
Lois nodded, knowing as she did so that Perry couldn't see her. "Yes. Clark's seen that footage over and over, wondering if he could have done something – you know him – always wants to help. For some reason, he's taking that little boy very hard."
Silence met her statement. Perry's voice was thick with emotion when he spoke. "I bet he is. There's nothing that man, or anyone else, could have done to save that boy though. Even if Clark *had* been there..."
"I know that and you know that..."
"Gotcha."
"Have you been watching LNN's coverage today?"
"Got it on now." He paused. "Here they're showing about four or five men searching a house."
"That's what they're showing here too," she whispered.
"Is Clark there with you?"
"No, he's out for a bit."
"I see."
Well, he hadn't become editor of a major metropolitan newspaper because he could yodel. Lois knew he'd read between the lines of what she said. "He did say he may call you later."
"He's always welcome to."
"I know. He knows."
"Is there anything I can do for you, darlin'?"
"No," she said. "I just needed to hear a friendly voice and let you know that you should have the resort write up in plenty of time for next weekend's edition."
"That sounds great. If you talk to him before I do, tell Clark, I said not to overdo it."
"I will."
"Take care of yourself, Lois."
"I will, Chief. Thanks."
Lois hung up the phone feeling a little bit better. Perry knew Clark was in Mexico and he'd let her know if he heard from her husband.
*****
Clark didn't return that night. A cryptic phone call from Perry seemed to indicate that he'd slept for a couple of hours at the White home and then gone back to Mexico. A hike was scheduled for that day and Lois really didn't want to miss it. She'd be with a group so it's not like she was wandering around unknown territory by herself. It was now Sunday and she hadn't seen or heard from him since Friday night.
She bit her lip as she laced up her hiking boots. She shouldn't worry about him. Perry and Alice had seen him, or at least she thought so, and they would have made him either stay with them or come back if they thought it was too much for him.
It was many hours later when she returned to their room, having told the tour leader that her husband was ill, thus excusing him from another part of their exploration of the resort and its activities.
The hike was beautiful, if tiring and she knew Clark would have loved it. She avoided the restaurants again, ordering dinner for two to their room. She picked two things she wanted to try – grateful once again that during business hours, at least, the menu was amazingly similar to the restaurants downstairs – and ate the better part of both meals. When she finally sat back, she couldn't believe how much she'd eaten. She'd never fit into most of the clothes they'd bought if she kept this up. As she moved to stand and head towards the shower, she knew that it wouldn’t matter. She was sore from the long day and would have burned off the calories she just ate – and then some – earlier in the day.
She talked to Perry again, reminding him that they had reservations at the resort's nicest restaurant – black tie was optional, but barely – on Tuesday night. She knew he'd make sure to mention it to Clark if he heard from him again. It had now been a full 48 hours since he'd left and she wasn't sure when he'd be back.
She eventually crawled into bed, alone for the fourth night in a row, and prayed that the day's exertions would allow her a deep, dreamless sleep. Monday would be here soon enough and with it another day that was likely to see her alone.
Monday dawned and she contacted their public relations liason. Alexandra had been very helpful in arranging their excursions and Lois was loathe to go through another one without Clark. They were supposed to go water skiing and then take surfing lessons and she really didn't want to do those without him. Alexandra arranged for a full day at the spa instead; something Clark had expressed absolutely no interest in. It included another massage – a hot rock massage that Lois was sure it would feel wonderful after the hike the day before – and Lois emerged from their suite ready for another day of leisure and pampering.
When Lois returned, it was near dinner time. She tossed her beach bag on the couch and headed to the bedroom, stopping short at what she saw there.
Clark was back, laying on top of the covers, and fully clothed.
He was face down, lying cross ways on the bed. Lois crossed the room and reached for his shoes. They were still a bit muddy and she was sure that he'd tried to clean himself up before he returned. He'd been in Texas, she was sure, after the tornados the remnants of Hurricane Gilbert had caused. She pulled off his socks and grabbed a bag out of an empty trash can.
She stopped and took a long look at him. He couldn’t be comfortable in the jeans and t-shirt he'd been wearing for something like three or four days straight.
Could she do this?
Could she help him take his clothes off?
She took a deep breath. She could do this. He needed some good rest and he wasn't going to get it like this. She could get his shirt off, and go from there.
She knelt on the bed next to him and, grateful that the shirt wasn't tucked in, tugged it towards his head. Unable to get it any farther than his shoulder blades, she sat back on her heels and stared. "Come on, Clark, I need you to help me here," she muttered.
With great effort, she managed to finally maneuver his arms out of the shirt and then tugged the collar over his head.
He was heavy. Maybe it had something to do with his Kryptonian heritage, but he was a lot heavier than he looked.
She flopped on the bed next to him and stared at the ceiling. Those jeans absolutely had to come off and head for the trash can. The question was how was she going to do that – both physically and emotionally?
The phone rang just then startling her. She moved to the living area and sat in one of the plush armchairs, grabbing it off the table next to her.
"Darlin', how you holding up?"
Of course it was Perry.
"I'm fine. Clark's sleeping. Finally."
"It's been a long few days, hasn't it?" he asked.
"Longer nights," she said quietly.
"Not sleeping well?"
"No," she whispered.
"Well, Clark's there..."
"Yeah."
"What is it?" Boy, he was perceptive.
"He's wearing the same clothes he's been wearing and I can't get him to move to help him out of them and..." Her voice trailed off.
"I understand. I wish I was there to help you."
"I know. I'll figure something out."
"Take care of him," Perry said softly.
"I will."
Lois sighed as she hung up the phone. She pushed herself up and stopped short when she saw Clark leaning heavily against the door. "Who's tha'?"
She could barely understand him through the slurring. "What are you doing up?"
"Fone wo'e m'up."
Lois moved to his side. "Come on, Clark. You need to get some sleep."
He wrapped an arm around her and leaned on her. "Onny wan' slee' wi'you."
"I know." She helped him towards the bed. "We need to get those pants off of you, too."
"Yah no ho'long I wait'ta hear ya say tha'?" He turned to face her and wrapped both arms around her waist.
Lois sighed. He was obviously exhausted and probably half delirious. She stopped when he was in front of the bed. "Come on. Focus for me. Can you take your jeans off?"
"Shur'." His finger moved to the zipper and pulled it down before starting to fumble with the button. "Can'do it. Ya go'a"
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could do this. She reached for the button and gently, carefully, undid it. "Can you help me pull them down?"
He shook his head. "Nuh huh."
She mumbled under her breath and moved behind him, cautiously sliding the jeans over his hips, then pushed them down his legs. When she had pushed them as low as she could, she let out the breath she didn't know she was holding. Gentle pressure against one calf told Clark to lift his leg and he cooperated allowing her to move the jeans off and out of the way. The procedure was repeated with the other leg.
Normally, he'd put on a pair of athletic shorts over the top of his boxers, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. There was no way that she'd be able to get him into them – it was just too much.
She stood next to him. "Okay. Time to go to bed."
"On'y 'f ya come wi'me."
"I'll be there in a few minutes."
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him.
Her breath caught. What was he doing?
"Have I ever told you how much I want to make love to you?"
Why, out of all the things he'd said, was that the only thing he hadn't slurred?
Before she could respond, his lips were on hers.
*****
Porto Carras Hurricane Gilbert
