I probably should have mentioned this in the last chapter but... the date idea - sort of - comes from Becky Bain's In A Dark Time. Not the idea to date itself - at least I don't think so. I had already read it long before I started this, but some of the logistics were influenced by her fic [and I have emailed her about this BTW]. Anyway - the idea that a married couple should continue to date isn't a new one in the slightest and something I wish DH and I could do more often. And it made sense for Clark to want to date her at some point since they never did before. But anyway...
Thanks, again, go to Alisha, Beth, Nancy, and CarolynK. They helped make this section much better.
Next week is kind of crazy, so I'm looking at late Monday or Tuesday to post 42 and then either Thursday or Friday for 43.
Any suggestions for Lucy's Story [what events etc. in particular you might like to see from her perspective] are still welcome
.
Oh - and just in case someone doesn't know... TMI is short for 'too much information'.
*****
Chapter 41
*****
Clark took a deep breath and smoothed his tie – one of the ones his mom had made him – before raising a hand to knock on the door that loomed in front of him. He didn't know why he was so nervous. This was *Lois*. His wife. The woman he'd lived with, laughed with, loved for years now.
So why were butterflies the size of pterodactyls making their home in his stomach?
Why did it feel like so much was riding on this night?
It wasn't like Lois was going to leave him if he spent half the night with broccoli between his teeth or if he spilled wine on her dress.
Which dress was she wearing? They hadn't discussed it, but somehow he was expecting black. But not the black dress that went with his tux. A different one. But he didn't know which one because she and Lucy had gone shopping earlier in the week and he suspected she'd bought something new.
He took another breath and raised his hand again, this time knocking firmly. He waited for a moment and when there was no answer, he knocked again.
This time the door was answered fairly quickly and there stood Lois, looking as stunning as he'd ever seen her.
"Hi," was all he managed to get out.
"Hi." She smiled at him. "I don't normally go out with guys I pick up at art museums in France, you know."
He smiled back. "Then I guess I'm lucky that your brother or someone isn't here to run me off." He looked past her to the interior of the house nervously. "Is he?"
She laughed and walked outside. "No, you're safe. For now. If you treat me poorly though, I know a really strong guy who could literally knock you into next week."
"I guess I'll have to treat you right then," he said smiling.
She turned and locked the door before moving to the Cherokee Alice had loaned them while they were in town. "Nice car," she said.
"It belongs to a friend of mine who's letting me borrow it while I'm in town."
"Must be a good friend."
"The best," he replied, opening her door for her.
*****
The drive to the restaurant was fairly silent but not uncomfortable. They each pointed out things that had changed or places they'd been. Lois mentioned that she'd lived on Clinton once as they drove past the street, albeit in a different part of town. Clark said he had too, once. Clark pointed out 'The Blue Note' saying a relative had sent him there once and his now brother-in-law had proposed there. Lois acted surprised and told him that her sister had been proposed to there not too long ago and it was her wedding that had brought her to town.
Clark hoped they'd find things to talk about without simply rehashing old ground. Sure this was their first date and, to an extent, they were both acting as though they knew little or nothing about each other, but to take that to the nth degree where she pretended not to know about his time in foster care or he pretended he didn't know her parents had been killed in a car crash seemed a bit much.
They'd lived together for well over four years now and she knew nearly everything about him. Well, he was sure he had a story or to about growing up that she'd never heard, but most of them probably involved Lana on some level and he was positive he didn't want to mention her tonight.
Before long, he pulled into a parking spot near the restaurant and opened her door for her, offering her his arm as he shut it. She tucked her hand inside his elbow and together they walked towards the restaurant.
Dinner was delicious. Clark managed to keep conversation going – discussing places they'd each been. He told her about some of the places he'd been without her – like when he'd flown to the Great Wall of China not long after he realized he could fly. She regaled him with stories of life on the paper of a big city high school and he shared the 'big' investigation into who put the cow on the top floor of his high school as a senior prank.
His twinkling eyes gave him away even as he declared he'd had nothing to do with it.
Before long, their shared dessert was gone and they realized the lateness of the hour. They both had early flights back to Europe, after all, and so they headed back to the house.
After they pulled into the driveway, Clark walked her to the door.
"I had a wonderful time tonight, Lois," he said smiling at her.
"I did, too," she said smiling softly back.
"Can I see you again sometime?"
"I'd like that a lot," she said shyly. Even though he'd promised he wouldn't kiss her, part of her was really hoping he would.
"I'll be in touch then." He gently rubbed her cheek with the back of his fingers.
"I'll look forward to it."
He leaned over and kissed her other cheek. "Good night."
"Good night."
He moved back to the car and waited for her to go inside.
Lois shut the door behind her and leaned against it, sighing as she did. Perry and Alice looked up from where they were sitting on the couch – Perry on one end and Alice on the other with her feet propped on his lap – reading.
"You okay, darlin'?" Perry asked her.
"How was your date?"
Lois looked up to see Clark walking down the stairs in shorts and a T-shirt. She smiled at him. "It was very nice, thank you."
"Um, you had a date?" Alice looked between the two of them bewildered. "With who?"
Lois' eyes sparkled. "Some guy I met at the Louvre who happened to be in Metropolis this weekend."
Understanding spread across the other two faces. "Well, then I'm glad you had a nice time," Perry said with a smirk. "Are you going to see him again?"
"He said he'd be in touch, but he's leaving for Europe again in the morning too, so..." She shrugged. "We'll see. Right now, I want to go take a shower and get all this hairspray out of my hair and then I need a good night's sleep. I'm going to have to hold Clark's hand the whole way to Europe again so I won't get any rest on the plane." She winked at Clark as she walked past him. She stopped as she reached the stairs, turning to hold Clark's eyes with her own. "Really, I do hope he asks me out again soon."
Clark smiled back at her. "Then I'm sure he will."
*****
"Would you like to come in for coffee?" Lois asked at the end of their next date. This one was in Paris the following Friday night.
"Sure, if it's not too late."
She shook her head. "My sister and her new husband are coming through Paris for a little while tomorrow on their way home from their honeymoon, but other than that, I don't have anything else on the schedule. And that's not till mid-afternoon."
"Sounds good to me then."
She let them in to the apartment and Clark took a seat on the couch while she went to the kitchen to make coffee. Before long, she was seated next to him and she asked if he wanted to watch a movie since it was still fairly early and he agreed.
"How about Back to the Future?" Clark asked looking at the collection of movies under the television.
"Which one?"
"Either one? Both?"
"Both? That'll take a while," Lois called having returned to the kitchen.
"I don't have any plans until tomorrow afternoon either." He grinned at her. "How about a bet?"
She leaned against the wall and looked at him sitting cross-legged in front of the TV cabinet. "What kind of bet?"
"It's a long-term bet," he warned.
"Okay."
"We watch them both. When we're done, we write down what year we think Doc goes to – or what time period anyway. When the previews for the new one come out next year, we see whose guess was closer to right. We go see it together, loser's treat."
"You're assuming that you'll be around this time next year." It was part of the game. They both knew they'd be together this time next year – the only question was what kind of relationship they'd have.
He smiled at her. "I hope I am."
"Well, then, you've got yourself a bet. Do you want some popcorn?"
"Sounds good."
A little over two hours later, they were sitting on the floor in front of the couch, legs stretched out in front of them, coffee table moved off to the side. Clark had switched the movies and when he sat back down he sat a little closer to Lois than he had before and with a yawn rested his arm on the couch behind her, close but not touching her shoulders.
Lois could feel the electricity in the air. She *wanted* him to put his arm more fully around her. They'd watched movies together more times than she could remember and had even spent the whole day in bed watching movies, but there was something different about this. It was a date.
They'd spent part of the plane ride discussing the first date and what each had enjoyed – pretty much everything – and what they hadn't – not much. Finally, Lois had managed to gather enough courage to tell him that she'd wanted him to kiss her and they'd agreed to one of two signals.
The first was just for her to kiss him. But, he'd said that for reasons he really couldn't explain, he wanted to be the one to kiss her the first time rather than her kissing him. She'd said that was fine with her and they agreed when she put her hand on his face the way he had touched her so many times, that would be his signal that he could kiss her. But only on date nights. For now.
She leaned forward to get a drink of her water and after she set it back on the table at her side, she shifted closer still. His hand rested lightly on her shoulder and she sighed slightly.
"Is that okay?" he whispered.
She nodded, not trusting her voice.
By the time the movie was over, she was leaning against him and his arm was fully around her, holding her to him.
"Are you ready to make your guess for the next movie?" he said.
She shook her head. "Can I think about it and have it next time I see you?"
"Is there going to be a next time?" His face was mere inches from hers.
She reached up with one hand and laid it on the side of his face, her stomach flipping in anticipation. "I want there to be. If you do."
He leaned towards her, closing those inches much too slowly for her taste. "Are you sure?" he whispered.
She nodded slightly.
Then his lips were on hers. It was tentative at first, but built slightly in intensity, never becoming demanding but remaining a gentle caress. It wasn't long before Clark moved back. He took a deep breath. "I think I should go now."
Lois nodded and he stood up, taking her hand to help her up as well. She walked him to the door. "I had fun tonight, Clark."
"Me too," he said smiling at her. He leaned down and brushed his lips against hers one more time in a fleeting gesture that she barely had time to register was happening before it was over. "I really want there to be a next time," he told her softly.
"I do, too. And you better bring your Back to the Future prediction with you."
"I will," he promised, opening the door. "Have a good night."
"You, too." She watched as he left, closing and locking the door behind him, knowing as she did that he'd be nearby, probably waiting for her to get in the shower before returning as friend and husband Clark rather than date Clark.
She suddenly hoped it wouldn't be long before she saw date Clark again.
*****
"It was amazing, Lo." Lucy and Lois sat at an outdoor café in Paris. She and Jimmy had spent a week on the little island.
Clark had stopped by twice – at prearranged times so there would be no unpleasant surprises on either side – to check on them and things had been going well. They also knew that if anything were to happen where they needed help or rapid transport all they had to do was yell at the top of their lungs and he would come flying. Fortunately, they didn't need to test that emergency provision.
"The first night we were at the Lexor in Metropolis but after that Clark took us to that island. Have you ever been there?" Lucy asked forgetting Lois knew all of this.
Lois nodded. "I helped him get it ready for you guys. It was almost ready but we put the finishing touches on it the next morning – the bedding and stuff. We didn't want to leave all that there too long."
Lucy nodded. "We did get a couple of rainstorms while we were there." She blushed. "We thought it might be, you know, nice to, you know, in the rain on the beach like in the movies, but it wasn't like the movies or a soap opera. Our clothes were so sandy and we were just all wet so..." She let her voice trail off and then shrugged. "It wasn't like the movies, let's just leave it at that."
Lois nodded. "Believe me, that is plenty of information. Much more would be TMI."
Lucy sipped on her soft drink. "You know, we waited a long time for this week, for last Saturday. Jimmy took Clark's advice a little too seriously at times," she said wryly.
"Which advice?"
"To treat me like he'd want someone to treat his daughter. I think he always saw Clark standing over my shoulder watching him to see how he treated me. And, don't get me wrong, I'm glad we waited, but I think he was a little bit too much of a gentleman sometimes."
Lois smiled. "I'm sure Clark will be happy to hear that."
"I wasn't always," her sister grumbled.
Lois laughed. "Well, I'm very happy for you guys. Really, I am."
Lucy stared into her drink. "Can I ask you something personal?"
Lois snorted. "I think we got past that with our conversation after Jimmy proposed."
"Probably." She didn't say anything for a long few minutes. "Do you love Clark?"
"Yeah," she said softly. "I do."
"What kind of love? I mean, like a big brother? Or like a friend? Or like I love Jimmy or Alice loves Perry? Or what?"
Lois sighed. "I don't know. I mean, I love him as much more than just a big brother. Maybe that's what it was at first, when we first got married, but I think that was really more as my best friend even though I hadn't seen him in years."
"And now?"
"I don’t know. He's more than just my best friend, but I don't know that I love him like you or Alice love Jimmy or Perry. Not yet. I want to, but I don't know that I do."
"How'd your date go last week?"
Lois smiled. "Very well."
"Did he kiss you?"
"No."
"What? Why not?"
"He told me a long time ago that he wasn't going to kiss me on our first date because he didn't want that to be the focus of the date. You know, I'd sit there all through dinner and wonder if he was going to kiss me or not and if he did what was it going to be like and that kind of stuff."
"I see."
"But I *wanted* him to. So we talked about it on the flight back here and came up with a signal. It's only for on dates at the moment, but if I touch his face a certain way he knows it means that I want him to kiss me."
"So are you going to show him you want him to kiss you on your next date?"
Lois blushed and stared at her drink. "He kissed me last night."
"Really? Was it a date night?"
"Yeah. We went out to dinner and I invited him in for coffee..."
"Invited him in?" Lucy interrupted. "Doesn't he live with you?"
"Well, friend and husband Clark does, but date Clark doesn't."
Lucy looked puzzled. "Um... huh?"
Lois laughed. "It's like a real date. He comes to the door and picks me up and afterwards leaves and comes back later. In Metropolis, I was still in the living room talking to Perry and Alice when he came down the stairs in shorts and T-shirt asking me how my date went. Last night, I asked him in for coffee and we watched both Back to the Future movies. He even did the whole 'yawn to put the arm around the girl's back' thing."
"He didn't!"
"Yes, he did."
"Too funny!"
"So by the time the second movie was over, he had his arm around me and it wasn't like we hadn't sat together like that a million other times talking or whatever - but usually we're sitting in bed talking before we go to sleep – and this was date Clark, not friend and husband Clark so the whole atmosphere was different. And when the movies were over, he said something about it being time for him to go and then I put my hand on his face and he kissed me."
"And how was it? Was it incredible?"
Lois blushed again. "Yeah, it was pretty incredible. But it wasn't too intense or anything like that. It was a very sweet first kiss and that's all. And then he left. I went to take a shower and by the time I got out, friend and husband Clark was back and that was it."
"Did he ask you out again?"
"Not yet, but he will."
Lucy sat for another minute, sipping her soft drink some more. "Lois, far be it from me to try to give you marriage advice, but maybe just something to think about. You know Clark loves you and you love him, but you've said yourself there's a physical attraction to Clark. What's stopping you from having it be just that? Two friends who love each other very much, who are attracted to each other and who want to be with each other like that. Friends with benefits or something."
Lois sighed. "The thought has crossed my mind. More than once. But... there's a lot more to it than that, Luce."
Lucy shrugged. "So, tell him ahead of time that you do love him just like you always have, but you know that you want to experience that with him – you do don't you?" At Lois' nod, she continued. "Who knows? Maybe it's what you need."
"I don't know. It's not just that I'm still working my way into loving him like that, but I'm not ready for that."
"It's been a year," Lucy said gently. "Over a year."
"There's no timetable for those kinds of things. And you know that."
"I know but..."
"But we weren't having sex before the attack because of my issues, why would we suddenly start afterwards?"
"What issues are those? We grew up in the same house," Lucy pointed out. "And, believe me, I couldn’t wait to get Jimmy up to our suite last weekend. I can't wait to get him home now."
"No, we didn't grow up in the same house." Lois sighed before going on. "I mean, we were in the same building, but life was different for you than it was for me. Clark and I have talked about this before because we wondered why it was that you were ready to be completely open and honest with Jimmy about everything long before I was with Clark."
"And what conclusions did you come to?"
Lois glared at her.
"No, really, Lo. I'm serious. We lived in the same house. We had the same drunk mom and the same womanizing dad. What was different?"
"Well..." Lois wondered how much to tell her. "Clark thinks that part of it was me. You always had me in a way that I never had anyone before Clark."
"You'd never leave me," Lucy said quietly. "I've always known that. That's why it hurt so much when..." Her voice trailed off.
"When what?"
"When I saw Clark propose to you but you didn't say anything to me." She refused to look at her older sister.
"What?"
"I saw him walk up the driveway and heard you talking to him at the door. I sat at the top of the stairs trying to hear what you were saying and when I couldn't I snuck down and saw him down on one knee and couldn't believe it when you said yes. I figured he snuck up to your room the next couple of nights and I couldn't figure out why you wouldn't tell me and Aunt Louise what was going on. The only conclusion that I could come to was that you were marrying Clark and leaving me to go back to Kansas with him. I didn't realize that you were planning on taking me in as a foster child until you said something in front of the judge and then I knew that I'd been right in the first place. You wouldn't leave, even if I was a brat for a while."
Lois reached a hand out to cover her sister's. "I had no idea you saw that. I knew you were mad I didn't tell you sooner, but I didn't know you knew he'd asked me to marry him."
"But in the end, you're right. *You* never left me. Ever."
"Mom and Dad were always leaving me alone with you or even just alone. I don't know how many days I walked almost a mile home from school because Mom forgot me."
"She never forgot to pick me up. I don't remember her forgetting me anyway."
Lois shook her head. "I don't think she ever did forget you, but she did me – all the time. Well," she amended, "she didn't necessarily forget me – except on days when it was raining or something – but for me to walk the mile to school was okay with her, but your school was too far away and close to work for her – like four or five miles from home wasn't it?"
Lucy nodded.
"When I got back from Journalism Camp, she told me something. Remember, I told you that Dad's vows didn't say anything about being faithful?"
Her sister nodded again.
"I heard them fighting about it before I left and after I got back, I looked at them and he was right. A few weeks later, she told me that when I got married, my body became my husband's to do with as he wanted, but he was free to be with whoever he wanted – to share his body with anyone and there was nothing I could do about it."
"That's twisted."
"I know that now, but that's what she told me over and over from the time I was twelve or so until they remarried."
Lucy nodded thoughtfully. "Things weren't great after they remarried, but I shared a wall with their room the whole time. I never needed ear plugs the first time they were married. I've wondered how we actually got here; that kind of thing. But after they remarried, they still fought, but they made up *all* the time. I also think that Daddy didn't have as many girlfriends after they remarried either."
"That's what I've thought too. But it takes a long time to undo that kind of stuff. I'm still trying to. I think I finally know that Clark isn't going to leave, but getting my head and my heart to agree that trusting him with my body is the thing to do could still take a while."
"What does Clark think?"
"You asked me that before," Lois reminded her.
"I know, but we didn't talk about it like this before."
"He's been great. Incredible. Understanding. Patient. Friendly with whales."
"What?"
"Nothing." Lois decided she probably shouldn't pass that along.
"So let it just be about what it is. A purely physical connection."
"Like two people who just met – no commitments or anything?"
"Well, maybe a bit more than that, but... I've loved Jimmy for a very long time. You know that right?"
Lois nodded.
"But it's different now. Now that we've been together like that, I love him on a whole different level than I did before. And he said the same thing to me." She reached over and took Lois' hand again. "Maybe it's what you need."
Lois sighed, sipped on her tea and eventually changed the subject.
*****
Lois had spent more time than she cared to admit mulling over what Lucy had said. Maybe she was right.
Maybe it was what she needed. Pull the band-aid off. Jump in with both feet without checking the water level.
Just do it.
He had been faithful to her for all the years of their marriage, even though it was a sexless one. Except for the Mayson thing – which she now admitted was based on false information and misconceptions and a lack of communication - she had never had the slightest hint of even his eyes straying, much less any other part of him.
She supposed it, in part, went back to what Jor-El had told them in the globe. Kryptonians had a telepathic ability and a very strong bond with their soul mate from the beginning. Maybe that was how Clark knew at age fourteen that he would marry her, but maybe that was only with other Kryptonians and he would have had another chance for love with a woman who loved him back if she hadn't saddled him with a teenage marriage and a built in foster daughter when he was only eighteen years old.
She took a deep breath. She would do it. She would offer herself to Clark in a way he couldn't refuse. Just telling him – using words – that she was willing to be with him as a physical act of marriage, a physical act of love, even though she really wasn't 'there' yet, would never work. She would have to convince him that it was what she really wanted.
She tried on several different dresses, sipping wine as she did so. She didn't want to wear the black one she'd worn the week before, but neither of the two burgundy ones she'd bought with Lucy the week of the wedding seemed quite right either. She knew she'd found the one when she slipped on the red dress with the straps across the back.
It was several hours later when Clark returned to their small Paris apartment after taking Jimmy and Lucy back to Metropolis and probably chatting with Perry and Alice while he was there. When he arrived, she was wearing the new dress that clung to all the right places. Under no illusions that she might have been able to pull off dinner as well, she ordered pasta from one of their favorite nearby eateries and set candles all around the living room.
The candles in the bedroom she had left for Clark to light when they made it there. There were new linens on the bed – freshly washed – and body oil nearby. She had always wondered – when she let herself think about things like this – what it would be like to rub body oil all over his already soft, smooth skin. Knowing that he wouldn't take things any further than a kiss, like the night before, unless she gave him one of the prearranged signals, she also had one of his shirts handy.
Clark entered the room and instantly stopped. "What's all this, Lois?"
She shrugged. "I thought a nice dinner at home was in order." She twirled, her skirt flying in the air. "What do you think?"
She saw him swallow, visibly affected, just as she wanted him to be. "You look..." He paused looking for the right words. "...very nice."
She pouted just a bit, feeling the effects of the wine she had already finished. She wasn't drunk but probably a little tipsy. "Nice? I look nice?"
Clark raised one eyebrow. "What were you going for?"
"Sexy. Alluring. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Attractive. Sensuous. Enchanting. Enthralling. Sexy. Any of those."
Clark looked taken aback. "Lois, you're always all of those things – even when you're in your flannel pjs. But that's not how you usually want me to describe you. I love you, you know that, but since when have you gone out of your way to want me to think you look sexy?"
"Since tonight. I talked to Lucy today and she made me realize that we are missing out on a big part of married life. I'm not proud that I have kept that part of myself from you for so long, but I want to make it right." She moved until she stood in front of him, resting her hand on the side of his face as she had the night before. "Kiss me, Clark. Tonight's the night I want you to make love to me."
*****
TBC
