Thanks, as always, to Alisha, Beth, Nancy, CarolynK.
Tons more notes at the end.
*****
Chapter 52
*****
"How is he?" Jimmy asked quietly, as he came back down the stairs. Perry and Alice were asleep in the spare bedroom. Abbie was down – hopefully for the night – in the crib in the nursery and Lucy was sleeping on the air mattress placed in there for the younger couple while they were visiting.
"I think he's okay," Clark whispered back. "I think he's going to have a few bruises, but other than that..."
"Thank God."
"You said it."
"What about you?"
Clark sighed. "I'm fine. I'm... *normal*. I don't have any of my powers. I got *shot* for crying out loud."
"Will they come back?"
Clark shrugged. "I hope so, but I don't really know."
Jimmy looked thoughtful for a long moment. "Did the kryptonite affect Jon?"
Clark shot him a dark look. "I hope not. Why?"
"If it did, it would prove he was your son."
"And if it didn't..." Clark finished softly.
"It doesn't mean anything. Maybe it wouldn't affect him because he's only half-Kryptonian or because he was born on earth or because he doesn't have any powers yet. But if he was..."
"Then we would know." Clark sighed. "He was screaming a lot, but that could have been from any number of things and not necessarily from exposure to Kryptonite."
"True."
"Would you mind to get a bottle ready? I'm going to set him down and go check on Lois."
Jimmy nodded. "Not a problem. And hey – when you're ready to put him down for the night, stick him in the crib with Abbie. We'll get you if he needs you, but Lois doesn't need disturbed unnecessarily tonight."
"Thanks, Jim."
*****
Lois slowly became aware of the world around her. There was something warm spread over the top of her and she realized she was back in the bed she had shared with Clark since they arrived in Smallville. The weight on top of her was one of the quilts Clark's mother had made many years earlier and his poncho liner she'd long since claimed for her own.
She slowly pushed herself up stopping at each point to allow herself to acclimate to the new position. First, she rolled to one side. Then she pushed on to one elbow, then to one hand. She slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed. She wiggled her toes and then set her feet gingerly on the floor.
With a deep breath, she pushed herself to her feet. Clinging carefully to different pieces of furniture, she made her way to the door. Opening it, she shut her eyes tightly against the bright lights of the hallway. Holding on to the wall with one hand, she made her way to the stairs. One hand gripped the banister as she took one step at a time.
Still feeling slightly woozy, she finally reached the bottom of the staircase.
What she saw stopped her in her tracks.
Clark lay on the couch, his left arm bandaged where the bullet had gone straight through. It hung limply by his side, his hand brushing the floor.
On his bare chest lay her son. Tiny Jon was curled up against the strong chest of his father.
His father.
She had said it many times before that biology didn't matter, that Clark was his father no matter what the genetics might say, but it wasn't until that moment that she truly believed it. In that moment, she knew in her heart what she had known in her head since she told Clark she was pregnant.
That green rock – whatever it was – had stripped Clark of his unique abilities and he had still flung himself into harm's way, going so far as to take a bullet to protect her and the child he had no way of knowing was his.
Matching breath for breath, the two men in her life were finally at peace. After the terror of the day, together they had finally found a way to move beyond the uncertainties, the now inconsequential realities of DNA, and they had found peace.
Clark, the strongest man in the world, made seemingly of steel, at his most vulnerable point had risked his life for hers and for the life of the innocent child now resting on top of him.
In that instant, Lois knew.
She knew what she had known for years, but had never been able to admit. Not completely. Not to herself, not to anyone.
Aunt Louise had known this day would come, but had not lived to see it.
She loved Clark Kent.
With every ounce of her being, she loved him.
Without his superpowers, he was the strongest man she knew.
With his superpowers, he was the gentlest man on earth.
Gentle tears began to flow down her face. How had she been able to deny it for so long?
Ever since the first time she'd woken up on the couch in their honeymoon suite, kissing him. Ever since the first time he had held her as they slept. Ever since the first time she had woken up in his arms. Ever since the night he had appeared on her doorstep, unexpectedly, held her as she cried and offered her and Lucy a way out of the system. Ever since their first kiss in front of the preacher. Ever since their first unforgettable dance at the Blue Note. Ever since he had rescued her from their evil professor. Ever since he had held her the day after their only night together – the one night she wished more than anything she could remember – the day after the drugging and assault they now knew was by Lex Luthor.
Ever since she stood in his way at camp when she was 12.
She loved him.
She, Lois Lane Kent, loved her husband more than she could have ever imagined possible.
And she knew just how to let him know.
*****
Clark opened his eyes to find that it was dark. The events of the day came rushing back to him and he tried desperately to stretch out his hearing only to find he was still completely powerless. And he couldn't be sure they were coming back.
What had awakened him brought him back to the present. Little Jon was squiggling on his chest and starting to make smacking sounds. He had managed to get one tiny fist into his mouth and was sucking vigorously on it.
Yep, he was hungry. There was little doubt that the lip smacking fist sucking would soon give way to a rather more obvious signal that it was past his dinner time.
It took longer than normal to prepare a bottle for the little guy. Heat vision certainly had its advantages. This time he boiled water in the microwave – he knew better than to heat the actual bottle in the microwave; that could cause hot spots – and set the bottle in the cup once it had heated. He waited for it to heat up and then tested it. Normally, he wouldn't be as able to tell the difference between too hot and too cold, but in his unsuper state he realized it was a touch too warm. Off to the freezer for a few minutes to cool back off.
Heat vision was definitely more convenient.
After retesting it and determining it fit to drink, Clark settled into the glider while Jon hungrily attacked the bottle. Once it was about half gone, Jon was quite vocal with his displeasure as Clark burped him. By the time the second half was gone, so were the protests and Jon settled back in for another round of naptime. Clark swaddled him up in a blanket and carried him carefully up the stairs, laying him gently in the crib, next to his cousin, in what had been his room as a young child, all the while trying not to wake Lucy and Jimmy.
He gazed at the sleeping baby. He realized, more than ever, that it didn't matter if this child was genetically his or not. He loved the little guy more than he ever could have imagined possible.
More than anything, he wished that Lois remembered their one night together. He knew the odds were in his favor – that Jon was biologically his child. Jor-El had indicated in his messages that he believed he would be not only physically compatible but biologically compatible with earth women. And he and Lois had made love three times that night. He had no idea how many times Luthor had... violated his wife, but he knew Lois hadn't enjoyed it nearly as thoroughly as she had with him and the conversation Lucy had overheard seemed to indicate that Luthor had regularly used protection as well. He didn't need his heightened senses to tell him of her physiological reactions to their love making and he knew it could never have been that way with Luthor – drugs or no drugs.
One day, they both believed that they would be together like that again. Dr. Friskin believed that Lois' recovery would be much quicker this time, for a variety of reasons. However, pregnancy had taken such a toll on her physically that she wouldn't have had the energy for those kinds of pursuits regularly anyway, even if her doctor would have let them. Dr. McCorkle had come out – via Superman Express – for a follow up visit a few days earlier and pronounced Lois healthy – and had given her a prescription for birth control pills, which Lois promptly had Clark get filled.
He sighed. Jimmy had carried her up to their shared room earlier in the evening. Pete had assured him it was simple exhaustion and that she would be fine. She just needed to sleep it off. He had checked on her several hours earlier, while Jimmy got Jon's last bottle ready, and she had been sound asleep. He had no reason to believe she would be otherwise now.
And so, he would go in, as he had so very many nights before and hold her as they slept, but this time he would savor every second as he hadn't since the first night they were married. Today he had come so close to losing everything he held dear. Lois, their son, even his own life. He would never have been able to forgive himself if something had happened to them and he had survived.
But instead, all three of them were slightly worse for the wear but otherwise intact.
He opened the door, surprised by the soft candle light that bathed the room. There, in the middle of their shared bed, sat Lois in a white satin gown he had never seen but instantly recognized.
He watched as she stood and practically glided towards him. Tears glistened in her eyes as she approached. She laid one hand gently on his face, pulling him towards her with the slightest of touches.
His lips met hers in the softest of kisses and he heard her sigh in contentment.
"I love you, Clark," she whispered. "I am so sorry that I've been so stupid and so blind – so galactically stupid and completely blind – for so very long. That it has taken me so long to realize something that I thought was so hard and scary is really so easy and safe. I love you. I've known I loved you for a long time, but not like this. With all my heart. With all my soul. With all my being. With all I am and with all I will ever be, I love you. I've loved you since the beginning," she whispered.
"I'll love you till the end," he whispered back.
Her lips had only moved far enough away to speak unhindered and now his lips met hers again, this time with a hunger built up over the years – a thirst both of them felt and needed to quench.
"I'm sorry I can't float you this time." His arms wrapped around her, the pain in his left bicep barely perceptible.
"There will be enough time for that another day, Flyboy. Tonight, I want you to make love to me. I want tonight to be a night we'll both remember, floating or no floating." Her arms snaked around his neck and she pulled him closer as they stumbled backwards to the bed.
He lowered her gently, favoring his hurt arm just a bit.
He rested his forehead on hers, just for a moment before moving in to kiss her again. Before he could, he whispered again.
"I have loved you since the beginning."
He closed his eyes and smiled. He kissed her gently and then looked deep into the brown eyes he'd loved for so long as she whispered back.
"And I'll love you till the end."
*****
FIN
Yeah, fin. You read that right.
Good golly, y'all [that's for you Southerners out there
]. I don't even begin to know where to start when it comes to thanking folks, er folcs, with this behemouth. As currently written, it will be the 3rd longest fic on the archive [kb count wise anyway], shorter only than Longest Roads: The Roads They Walked Alone and Masques. Talk about inferiority complexes springing to life with that company. Of course, first I have to get it edited and sent off to the august author of Masques and our beloved EIC, Labby. Then a GE has to be brave enough to tackle it... then said GE has to actually make it through... and so on.
All that said... I have a big long list of people to thank starting with JoJo and her "Nanowrimo" thread last year because otherwise I never would have started the monster. All those in the NaNo thread last year who encouraged me, challenged me, who made me try desperately to keep up with their word counts [yes, you sheila, among others]. With DS in the hospital I could never have believed I'd make it, but you guys helped. How I managed something like 25K words in the last 3-4 days is beyond me. How many of those words actually made it into the final product is another story all together
.
Some of those to thank: Jojo, LaraMoon, Elisabeth, James, Aromassa, Sheilah, woody, lexy and so on.
MissyG was invaluable as a friend and co-conspirator and beta for the first parts of this. Bananna helped immensely, as did Bethy and Kaylle [who helped make sure all the right people survived at the end] and who cheered endlessly with me when I submitted the text and hit the 50K word mark.
Alisha signed on as a beta early on and went through so many edits and file name changes and so on... yet she stuck with it.
Beth finally succumbed to my repeated pleas to see some of Fidelity [I think] early by asking if I'd beta Strength for her, to which I promptly asked for a reciprocal agreement. [And of course this gives me hope that ML may eventually succumb as well;)]
Nancy signed on late as well, but had invaluable insights.
CarolynK's legal help got her a beta spot and she too was a wonderful help.
ErinK encouraged me though she hasn't actually read any of this yet, but did give a few ideas that helped with the whole first A plot thing and volunteered to help more but I was able to resolve it before she could.
Good golly again, I'm not even sure who else to put on the list. Everyone who commented, even if they disagreed with my... literary or plot or whatever choices. Everyone who read but didn't comment [you should have you know
].
And so on.
Thanks for sticking through the whole ride. You guys rock!
Coming soon:
Learning to Love: Lucy's Story [later this week hopefully]
Learning to Love: The Martha Letters [hopefully]
And after that [bit of a teaser here
]:
On The Other Hand, a fic inspired by one of Lois' thoughts early on in LtL [well, not her thought but the thought her thought inspired]. Her thought? Would Clark have wanted a purely platonic roommate in Smallville so she could attend Midwest far, far away from Metropolis? What thought that inspired? Ah, can't tell you. I can tell you that I *love* the fic
. And it's sequel is going to be this year's Nano if I can manage to get it finished by Oct. 31. Look for OTOH coming in September [I hope].
Thanks again everyone!
