Thanks to those who have left feedback.
This is *almost* done and once it is, I may bump up the posting schedule. Will have to see how it goes...
Thanks - as always - to Alisha, Beth, Nancy and CarolynK
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*****
Chapter 8
*****
Jimmy opened her door after they pulled up in front of the apartment building, pulling her into a long hug after he shut it behind her. "Thanks for your help today, Babe."
"I want that bastard to pay for what he's done to my sister and the others."
They stood there for long minutes before Jimmy whispered, "Mayson?"
Lucy pulled back to look at him. "What?"
He nodded towards a blond walking down the street. "That's Mayson."
"What's she doing here?"
Jimmy's face was set as he released her and took her hand. "Let's go find out."
They walked in the door to find Lois curled up on the couch and Clark putting the teapot away in the kitchen.
"Talk to Clark, I haven't seen Lois..." Lucy's voice trailed off as she hurried down to the stairs to the couch. A second later, Lois was in her arms.
They didn't speak but Lucy just held her. She'd never seen her sister like this. She could hear Jimmy and Clark talking quietly in the kitchen
"What?"
She and Lois both jumped slightly as Clark's voice carried across the room. She shot a glare at him and she saw his guilty look as he repeated his question to Jimmy.
She didn't know how much longer it was when she realized that her sister was asleep. She called to Clark and he easily picked Lois up and carried her to the bedroom.
Jimmy was sitting next to her, pulling her to him when Clark returned a moment later to lean wearily against the bricks of the archway. "I'm gonna go take a shower real quick and then stay with Lois. She doesn't have nightmares as much if I'm there with her." He looked at Lucy. "Will you take care of her if she wakes up before I get done?"
Lucy nodded. "Yeah, I will."
Clark started to move back into the bedroom when he turned. "Jimmy, I'd appreciate it if you'd keep what we talked about between us at least for now," he said with deep breath. He looked at his sister-in-law. "That's not something I say lightly, Lucy, I promise."
She nodded. "I know. When it's time for me to know, one of you will tell me."
"Thanks, Luce."
They watched as Clark headed towards his dresser and then the bathroom.
"He doesn't say that lightly, you know. He knows how secrets can hurt a relationship but..."
She patted his leg. "I know and I can live with that. I know there's a lot of sensitive stuff going on with all of this. It's possible that Lois could tell me things that I can't tell you, too."
He kissed the side of her head. "I know."
Clark was already done with his shower and they could hear the bedsprings creak slightly as he climbed into bed with his wife.
She looked back at Jimmy to see him watching her. "What?" she whispered.
He shook his head. "Come on." He took her by the hand and they went to sit on the front steps, Lucy on the step below him, his arms around her.
"What?" she repeated.
"I feel horrible even thinking this after everything..."
"What?" she asked relaxing back into his embrace.
He buried his face in the crook of her neck. "That I can't wait until I sleep with you in my arms every night."
She smiled. "I can't either." They sat in silence for a long time. "I've never seen her like this," Lucy finally said.
"Like what?"
"Broken."
"She's not broken. She's a fighter."
"Oh, I know that, but she's always so strong. She was the one who took care of Mom when she was falling down drunk. She was the one who made me wait outside while she checked to see if Daddy had any girls over when we found him home unexpectedly in the middle of the afternoon. She was the one who married a guy she hadn't seen or talked to in years to protect me from the system. She's the one who has worked so hard to get done with high school and college in six years total. There's one guy in my class who was a freshman with her." Lucy shook her head slightly. "She's the strong one and to see her like this..."
"It's hard, isn't it?"
She nodded.
"I know you didn't mean to say that you weren't strong, but you are, you know that right?"
She nodded again. "I know, but that's not what I meant."
They sat quietly for another undefined period of time. "I mentioned our first date to Clark," Jimmy said breaking the quiet.
"What about it?"
"That I sort of saved you from a guy."
Lucy winced. "I never told him about that."
"That was when he made you two jump."
"I wondered what that was."
"So he may ask you about it." He sighed. "I should probably head home."
Lucy turned her head and kissed him softly. "I can't wait until you don't have to."
"Me either."
"We need to talk about that again soon."
"I know."
"I bet you've already thought about it, haven't you?" she asked with a smile.
"Well, yeah."
"What are your thoughts?"
Jimmy thought for a minute. "Even though it's not official, we've already set a date. I've got your ring picked out and as soon as I get the cash together, I'm going to buy it and talk to Clark, so there's an end in sight."
She nodded. "That there is."
"Thirteen months."
"Give or take."
He took a deep breath. "We've made it thirty months or so already. Do we want to wait another year?"
"Well," she answered slowly. "I'm going to be gone for almost three months this summer."
"True."
"So, it's only ten months."
Jimmy chuckled. "That's one way to look at it."
"What's the other way?"
"That I won't have seen you in three months when you get back."
Lucy laughed with him, before turning serious. "I don't want to make this decision while we're rolling around on the couch."
"Do you know how hard it is to roll around on a couch? We've tried a time or two," he pointed out.
She smacked him lightly. "You know what I mean. I don't want to get home and get carried away in the moment. Whenever we decide it's going to happen, I want it to happen right, not just some rip each other's clothes off on the floor in front of the door because we can't make it to the bedroom thing. That's not to say that we can't ever do that, but not the first time."
"I know and that's not what I want for our first time together either."
"So do we wait until we get married?"
Jimmy sighed.
"What?"
"Well, I don't want you to think that not waiting isn't tempting, because it is, but at the same time..."
"You still see Clark hovering?"
"Sometimes, but this is *our* decision now, not his."
"I know."
"I think that there's something..." He paused, searching for the right words. "...inherently sexy about making love to you for the first time knowing that, legally, you're all mine and I'm all yours. Standing in front of our family, our friends, pledging our lives, our hearts, to each other before we share our bodies completely."
Tears slid down Lucy's cheeks.
"And I know that, until Clark, you never had an example of what a faithful guy could be like and somehow, knowing it's permanent..."
"Thank you," she whispered. "You have no idea how special that makes me feel, how loved."
"I do love you."
"I know."
He thought for a minute. "Three hundred and ninety-two days from today... You'll be my wife and I don't plan on getting much sleep on our wedding night," he whispered huskily.
"What do you plan on doing? Playing Scrabble?" she asked innocently.
Jimmy threw back his head and laughed. "Not exactly," he finally said, still gasping for breath.
"I had no idea you'd find that so funny," she told him with a grin.
"Sorry, but after waiting three and a half years, I think Scrabble is going to be the *last* thing on my mind."
"What if I want to play?"
"Well, is there such a thing as strip Scrabble?"
"Mr. Olsen," Lucy asked, faking shock. "Whatever gave you the idea I'd want to get naked with you that night?"
"Once we've got those rings on our fingers, I plan on getting naked with you on a pretty regular basis."
"What else do you plan on doing?" she asked quietly.
He took a deep breath. "I think we better save that discussion for another night." He kissed the side of her head. "A year from tonight we'll talk about it in more detail. I think talking about it too much, too soon..."
She kissed him soundly. "Yeah."
"But for now, I need to go." He kissed her again. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
*****
Lucy stared out the skylight, tears slowly streaking down her cheeks.
It wasn’t that she didn't want to be with Jimmy completely – she did – but that he wanted to wait until they were married, committed permanently to each other, meant a lot to her. He was right. Until Clark – and later Perry – she hadn't really believed that a man could be monogamous. Oh, she'd never really thought about it in those terms specifically. She just knew that in a marriage, men had girlfriends. It was normal to her. Just like a drunk mom was.
She'd rarely had friends over because of her parents and she'd seen the relatively normal lives that other families led, but she thought they were just better at putting on a front than her family was.
And now... she *knew* Jimmy would be faithful to her. And not just because Clark would drop kick him to the moon if he ever hurt her. Because he loved her and that's what people did – or rather didn't do – when they truly loved someone. They didn't hurt them and she knew that Jimmy knew what cheating on her would do to her.
That she was important enough to him to want to wait meant the world to her. Not that she wouldn't have known that he loved her regardless, but it was going a little bit farther than strictly necessary. Going the extra mile. Or the extra year.
It made her love him even more.
*****
May 1988
*****
"What're you fuming about?" Jimmy asked her quietly. Lois and Clark had graduated. Three of the four conspirators involved in the sexual assaults of female journalism students and the subsequent cover-ups had pled guilty to various charges and the fourth probably would soon. The press conference had been held earlier in the day and Lois had made a statement to the press and the public formally acknowledging what had happened to her. Perry and Alice had joined the four of them for dinner. Lois and Clark had gone outside to talk while the rest of them played Trivial Pursuit during the second half of the evening.
Perry and Alice had left not too long before and Lois and Clark were getting ready to turn in for the night. It had been a night of some surprises and Lucy was still trying to process some of them.
"I'm not fuming."
"Well, you're not happy."
"Clark - *Clark* - managed to get trapped under Lana – his ex-girlfriend – on my bed. He won't let you look at the stairs for fear that we'll have sex – and you and I both know that if we really wanted to have sex, not allowing you upstairs wouldn't stop us."
"I know that and they know that, and you and I both know that Clark had to be caught completely off-guard for that to happen."
"I know." She sighed. "Really. I do." She smiled over at him. "And they *are* moving out. I get to live here instead of on campus."
"Too bad you already have roommates," he told her with a grin.
"This time next year... they'll have moved out and you'll be moving in."
"Works for me." He held her hand gently. "You're going to miss them, though."
"I know. I *won't* miss walking through their bedroom on a regular basis though."
"Can't say I blame you there."
"I mean, it's nice that they're not like my parents – fighting and making up all the time but..."
"Yeah."
"You know, I've still never seen them kiss," she said quietly.
"I've been paying attention since you mentioned it. And I haven't either. Forehead, hair, sure but..."
"Do you think that's odd?"
He shrugged. "It works for them."
"I guess."
"So, where are we going for dinner?"
"When?"
"Clark's still flying us somewhere, right?"
She nodded. "I dunno. Where do you want to go?"
"It's your graduation dinner."
"I'll have to ask Lois where they went. Aunt Louise took me with her for the night after she graduated so they could go out for dinner and, um... not have company around."
"We'll have to find out if I need to figure out how to do a currency exchange."
"Why?"
"Clark's providing transportation, but I'm not letting you buy your own graduation dinner."
"You never let me buy anything," she pointed out. "Not even tickets to my own prom."
"Hey, you're my girl. It's my job. Besides, you had to figure out what to do about a dress. I just wish you weren't going to have to wear Lois' old one."
She shrugged. "I'm going to visit the thrift shops again this week and see what I can find. And Lois' dress is pretty timeless. I thought about asking if I could use a little bit of the insurance money, but Lois is so adamant that it's for college expenses only..."
"I wish I could..."
She shook her head. "When I'm your wife, you can buy me clothes. Until then it's limited to birthdays and stuff."
"Well, we're not spending the night at the Lexor like Lois and Clark did so... what're we doing after it's over?"
"Spending the night together," she said with a grin.
"That's next year."
"We're invited to Lisa's for a movie marathon with her and Billy and Jessica and Tom."
"Gotcha. But aren't they all..."
She nodded. "Yeah and they know we're not. Or that we haven't anyway. And I told them that I didn't want to come if they were all going to be sneaking off and leaving us alone in her basement. If they want to sneak off and abandon us all night, then we can go somewhere else."
"Movie marathon sounds good."
"We could even *sleep* together," Lucy told him with a smile.
"Just don't tell Clark."
"Don't worry."
*****
June 1988
*****
"What do you think they'd do if we went into Victoria's Secret?" Lucy whispered to her sister in the dressing room at Old Navy.
Lois glanced at her. "I don't know. Are you planning on it?" she asked sharply.
"Relax, Lois," Lucy told her sister. "I don't need to go get anything Victoria's Secret-y. Jimmy and I decided that we want to wait until we get married to... need anything like that. I’m just thinking about some nice new underwear, nice bra or two, stuff like that. I just wonder what they'd do."
"Clark would probably look at you or Jimmy or both with some sort of disapproving look."
"Try *extremely* disapproving look."
Lois glanced at her puzzled.
"I told you he talked to us a long time ago about... that stuff."
"I know."
"Why do you think Jimmy never goes up to the loft? Clark has very... conservative ideas about what Jimmy and I should be doing together and – for the most part – we've agreed to boundaries that Clark would approve of. Well," she said with a shrug. "I think he'd rather us have no physical relationship at all – not even hold hands – and for us to adopt rather than... need Victoria's Secret stuff to get pregnant someday. But for now at least, we've decided to wait until we get married and I'm quite certain Clark is very happy about that. If you were to go into the store, I'm sure he'd be... pleased with whatever was purchased. If *I* were to go in there... he'd probably have a coronary. Jimmy would, too."
Lois stared at her for a long moment before nodding slightly. "Probably."
"So should we go in there just to mess with their heads?" Lucy asked with a grin.
Lois shook her head. "Not today."
"Some other time then." Lucy watched her sister contemplatively as she moved to the cash register. Something was bothering her and Lucy couldn't put her finger on it.
Lois made a noncommittal noise as she turned to the cashier, leaving Lucy to ponder what it was. Lucy set her selections on the counter after Lois' were rung up. Even though she was eighteen and out of high school, they were using part of their inheritance from Aunt Louise or from their settlements from the University and the Star over the whole assault/firing thing to buy her a new wardrobe – to buy all three of them a new wardrobe. Jimmy needed some new clothes, too, and had come along on the shopping spree. None of the three of them had purchased anything *new* in years – unless it was something new that ended up at their favorite thrift shop or maybe a package of new socks from CostMart and they were making up for it in spades today.
Lucy sighed and followed her sister out of the store.
Next up: swimsuits.
*****
Lucy held her sister tightly. "I can't believe you're leaving," she whispered.
"We'll be back soon. Clark can fly us back whenever we want and hopefully you'll have time to come out between camp sessions."
"I don't think I am." She moved back and swiped at her cheeks. "I wish I was but... I just don't think there's going to be time to go to Greece to see you guys for even a day or two. And you guys get to go off and explore the world. I hope Jimmy and I can do that some day."
Lois wiped her own cheeks. "I know and I know we haven't seen each other as much the last couple years as I wish we had. I've missed you – a lot – even though we live together."
"I know. It's not like it was before – where we could just chat as long as we wanted at night or whatever." Lucy sat on the edge of the bed her sister shared with her husband – something she'd only done once before. "But things are different now. You've got Clark. I've got Jimmy – I mean, I don't *have* Jimmy like you have Clark, but I do have him." She fiddled with the promise ring he'd given her the year before. "You worked so hard so I wouldn't have to, and I've never told you how much I appreciate everything you sacrificed for me. You didn't have to. You didn't have to marry Clark so young so that we wouldn't be in foster care. You didn't have to save every dime of the money left to us for my school money. There's a lot of things that you didn't have to do for me that you did and I've never *really* said thank you."
Lois sat next to her sister and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. "I'd do anything for you, Luce. You know that."
Lucy nodded. "I know, but I had a hard time accepting that for a while. It was Aunt Louise that finally made me start seeing things differently. Then Jimmy said something off-hand even before he met you guys and... At first, when I knew you were going to marry Clark but before you did, I thought you were leaving me here. That you were going to move to Kansas and forget I ever existed."
"Lu..."
Lucy shook her head. "I know better now but... For the first six months or so, not seeing you and everything hurt so much still. It wasn't like before. I never saw you. I still felt like you had abandoned me. Even though you were still here physically... When you had your graduation dinner with Clark, Aunt Louise called me on that. She asked me if I really thought that it was all a bed of carnations for you."
"Carnations?"
Lucy smiled. "A bed of roses has thorns. Carnations don't."
"Ah."
"That was when I first started thinking about it, sometimes, how hard it must be for you." She took a deep breath. "I still don't know how you and Clark have done it. How long you two have made it given everything..." She was still for a long moment, her head still resting against her older sister's shoulder. "Are you two okay, Lo?"
"Yeah, Luce," Lois said softly. "We're okay."
"Were you?" she finally gathered her courage to ask.
"What do you mean?"
"I know you asked me not to ask you about it again, but were you two always okay? I don't mean the occasional fight or whatever, but truly okay?"
Lois took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "No. We weren't."
The answer didn't shock Lucy as much as she wished it did.
"You know what life was like at home. Clark and I... we'd sort of stopped talking that first summer. After high school. Then I started college and we both got even busier. We'd go weeks without really seeing each other for more than a few minutes at a time. When he met Mayson..." She paused.
"What about her?" Lucy asked after a moment.
"I saw the two of them together the day they met. I thought she was flirting with him – and she probably was – and I thought he was flirting with her – which he probably wasn't. All I could think was that it was Daddy all over again. Some... other stuff happened that made me even more sure that he was sleeping with her."
Lucy sat up at that and turned to face her sister more fully. "You really thought he was cheating on you?"
Lois nodded. "For two years," she finally said. "Until... that night. We went to Colorado after you went to bed and had a big... fight I guess was part of it. I accused him of cheating on me and he looked at me like I was crazy and we had it out. He'd never been alone with her. He was never anywhere private with her; only in public, but... I saw what I wanted to see; what I'd been conditioned to see by our parents."
"And you didn't ask him about it before that?"
Lois shook her head. "No. Why would I? If I confronted him and it was true – like I believed, then it would be over and I couldn't risk that," she whispered. "I couldn't risk him leaving. They'd take you away from me if he'd left and I couldn’t..." Tears flowed down Lois' cheeks.
"Oh, Lois." This time Lucy put her arm around her sister's shoulder and pulled her to her. Tears flowed down her cheeks as well. She'd had no idea what her sister had gone through for two years.
"The last year was a bit better," Lois said, pulling back slightly. "After Aunt Louise died, he made a more concerted effort to spend time together. Part of me thought that it was just him trying to throw me off scent. You know, spend more time with the 'little woman' so she doesn't realize that..." Her voice trailed off. "But the reality was that he was just trying to spend more time with me. We had so little time together..."
"You were willing to stay with a guy who was cheating on you so that I could stay with you?" Lucy asked quietly. "I mean, I know he wasn't *really* cheating on you but..."
Lois nodded against her sister's shoulder. "I'd do anything for you," she reiterated. "And I do love Clark and I can't imagine myself growing old with anyone else, but... I couldn't take that risk, not for you."
"Oh, Lois." Lucy hugged her tighter. "I wish you would have said something to me. Jimmy knows Mayson and he could have told you..."
She shook her head. "No need for recriminations now. Clark and I are moving past it and we're going to be fine – we *are* fine."
"I'm so glad. He loves you so much."
"I know."
"I'm still going to miss you," Lucy said with a sad smile. "You'll send letters and postcards, right?"
"Of course. And you can read all about it in the Daily Planet Weekend Travel Section – 'Travel the Planet: Lane and Kent in Greece', remember?"
"It's not the same. I want to know more than what you'll put in articles."
"You got it."
Lucy looked at her watch. "I've got to go and you and Clark have to get packed and I'm sure you have all kinds of stuff to do before you two have to leave."
Lois sighed as she looked around the mayhem in the bedroom. "Yeah, we do. At least I'm going to let Clark handle the packing. He can have it all done in about twelve seconds."
"Lucky you. I hate packing."
"I know."
Lucy wiped her cheeks again. "I'm meeting Jimmy at the Planet for a few minutes before I head down to meet up with Lisa and to leave for camp."
Lucy stood and pulled her sister into her arms again. "I love you, Luce. And I'm proud of you."
"Thanks, sis. I love you."
They stood there as long as they could before Lucy absolutely had to leave.
*****
"Thanks, Perry," Lucy whispered as she gave him a big hug. "I'll have him back to you before you know it."
"You better, darlin'," came the gruff reply. "He's supposed to be working, not playing kissy-face with his girlfriend."
Lucy smiled at him. "I'm gonna miss you, but I'll be back before you know it and then you'll be my boss."
"That's right. And don't you forget it either."
"Like you'd let me."
Jimmy hung up the phone. "Okay – I'll be back in a few minutes, Chief."
Perry nodded. "See you in a couple months, Luce. Alice sends her love and wishes she could be here to see you – and Lois and Clark later – off, but she had some meetings she just couldn't get out of."
"No problem, Perry. Give her my love back." Lucy gave him another hug before taking Jimmy's hand and heading towards the stairwell.
"Where're we going?" he asked.
"The roof."
He smiled. They'd spent quite a few of their breaks on the roof the summer before while she was working in the mail room. When they reached the roof, he pulled her into his arms. "I'm going to miss you."
She kissed him softly. "I'm going to miss you, too." She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "I said good-bye to Lois earlier and I don't think I'm going to see Clark again before I have to leave."
"I'll tell him."
"Lois told me about Mayson," she said after a long pause. "That she really believed that Clark..."
"I know. That's what Clark didn't want me to tell you that night after we saw her leave the apartment. That and that there's more going on than we'll probably ever know."
"She said that they're doing fine now, but that they weren't for a long time, and not just because she thought he was cheating on her, but she didn't elaborate."
"He didn't either." He kissed her hair. "You know I'd never do that to you, don't you? I could never, *ever* cheat on you."
"I know."
"Did you tell her about the wedding?" he asked quietly.
She shook her head. "I was going to, but... It just never came up."
"I haven't talked to Clark yet either. Of course, I haven't bought your ring yet, so..."
She moved back slightly to look at him. "And you're not going to take me to see it?"
He shook his head. "Nope. My surprise."
She sighed. "Just remember it better have diamonds or you'll be playing Scrabble by yourself on our wedding night."
"It does."
"Only because you want to get lucky," she teased.
"You better believe I do," he teased back.
"I'm glad I'm going to be too busy to miss you too much," she said quietly, resting her head against him again.
"I wish I was. I think I'll let Perry run me ragged."
"So, are you going to sleep in the loft? Or in Lois and Clark's bed until I get back?"
He could hear the smile in her voice. "Where do you think?"
"I think that you've been dying to sleep in the loft for ages, but that you don't think Clark would approve even if I'm not there, but that sleeping in Lois and Clark's bed – which is bigger and gives you more room to sprawl – creeps you out a bit."
"How well you know me. Are you keeping the loft when Lisa and Jessica move in or what?"
She nodded against him. "And I'll even let you come up sometimes."
He laughed. "That'll be a welcome change."
"As long as you behave yourself."
"You know, after we get married, we'll leave your bed up there as a guest room or something and sometime..." He stopped, grinning at her.
She giggled. "Yep. Sometime we'll go up there."
He glanced at his watch. "You gotta get going, Babe."
She looked at him, tears in her eyes. "This is silly. It's two and a half months. It's not forever. It's not even approaching forever."
"I know, but we've never gone more than a couple days without seeing each other and then we were able to talk on the phone whenever we wanted."
"Yeah."
He kissed her softly. "I'll miss you."
"I'll miss you, too. Don't go find any other girls while I'm gone, okay?"
"Don't worry. No other girls even come close to measuring up to you. Besides, Perry's bound to have me so busy, there's no chance." His brow furrowed. "A couple of those summer interns were kinda cute though."
She smacked his chest with her hand. "James Bartholomew Olsen."
He winced. "Hey, you don't have to full name me." He kissed her gently. "I love you, Lucy Ellen Lane."
"I love you."
He walked her downstairs before kissing her again as she stood waiting for the subway. He watched as she walked onto the train and sat down, blowing him a kiss as the train pulled out. When it was finally out of sight, he turned and walked back to the Daily Planet.
*****
