Hello everyone! Due to the overwhelming response (and my wonderful betas - Sue and Lara - thank you ladies!) I was able to get this part turned around and posted this morning.
Hope you enjoy!
Table of Contents (for links to other parts and fdk) **********
PART TWO
**********
Clark thought his heart stopped beating for a second. “Paris,” he echoed hollowly.
She nodded.
“Why?”
“For the same reason that you just pointed out to me on the sidewalk.” She put her hands on her hips, daring him to challenge her. “I’ve lost my edge, Clark. You know it and I know it. And not only that, I’ve lost the respect that I used to have. People don’t look at me the same way.”
“You’re imagining things.”
He took a step closer to her and it made her feel unsteady. She reached out and grabbed the stairway railing for balance. “Am I?” she challenged.
Clark knew she wasn’t. He’d seen the looks people had been giving her. He’d heard the offhand remarks. It had made him angry to see the way people were treating her. He had personally put a stop to some of the talk he’d heard, but he couldn’t prevent all of it. And he couldn’t restore her self-confidence, only she could do that.
He grimaced. “Why Paris? Why so far away?”
“You just answered your own question, Clark.” She took a step away from him, trying to regain her poise. “I’m going there because it *is* so far away. I can still work as a journalist for the Planet, do what I love, and yet put some distance between me and the mistakes that are haunting me. I realize that my whole fiasco with Lex was a big deal, but it won’t be as big of a deal over there.”
“The Lois Lane that I know doesn’t run from anything.” Clark’s voice was quietly intense and it put her on the defensive.
“I’m not running!” she snipped, causing Clark to wince from the heat in her voice. “I’m not,” she said a little softer. “I’m just giving the situation some time to diffuse.”
“I see.”
“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t think you do.” She worked up her nerve and moved a little closer to him. “I’m not accomplishing anything by staying here, Clark. I’m a liability. I swore I’d never be a liability - to anyone. I need to find myself. Can’t you understand that?”
“Sure. I understand,” he said impassively. He did understand, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. If she would only let him in, he could help her get through this. She didn’t need to leave. Clark wanted to take her in his arms and tell her to stay... for him. That he needed her. But she didn’t feel that way about him, and it would only alienate her further.
“Do you?”
She was looking at him intently and Clark felt like she could practically see inside of him - that she was going to reach in and pry his secrets from him at any moment...
How could she make him understand? “There’s really no reason for me not to go, but I can see so many why I should,” she explained, trying to read the expression on his face. Did he want her to stay?
How pathetic was it that part of her wished he would ask her to stay - for him? That he was her reason not to leave? But even if he said that, would it be the truth? He hadn’t been honest with her about his feelings. He had told her he loved her just to keep her from marrying Luthor. So if he suddenly confessed his love for her now, and took back what he had said that day at the Planet, could she believe him?
No. She couldn’t. How could she separate truth from fiction? If he had done it once, he could do it again. She didn’t want him to ‘pretend’ to be in love with her. She had been ready to confess that she had feelings for him but she didn’t want to be in love with someone who didn’t love her in return.
This temporary relocation to Paris was exactly what she needed to clear her head; to sort things out.
“Yes, there’s a reason, Lois...”
The softness of his voice intertwined with the earnestness she heard caused Lois to hold her breath.
“Me.”
That one simple word caused her heart to jump inside her, even though she willed it not to.
“I need you,” he continued sincerely.
Her stomach flip-flopped and she resisted the urge to go to him and throw her arms around him.
His next words made her glad she hadn’t.
“I need my partner.”
Lois let out a shaky breath and willed herself to be strong - to not let him see her disappointment. “Clark, you don’t need a partner. You never have. You’re a great investigative reporter. If anything, I’ve probably held you back.”
“That’s not true,” he protested.
She shrugged. “You can argue all you want, but it’s not going to change anything. I’ve already made up my mind. Perry has finalized the paperwork and I’ve already purchased a non-refundable ticket with some money from my savings.”
Clark’s heart sank. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening. He had finally found a place where he felt comfortable, where he fit in, and now the person that he felt the strongest connection to was leaving him.
He felt numb. Lois moved as if to walk past him. Not yet ready to let her leave, he reached out and took hold of her hand to stop her. “Wait. Don’t go. Not like this.”
“Clark, I have to go,” she told him softly. Was he imagining it or did he hear a hint of regret in her voice? “I’m sorry. You’re my friend and I wanted to tell you in person.”
Friend. He was her friend. His heart twinged. Why couldn’t she have seen him as more than that? He wanted to ask her that, but instead he said, “When does your flight leave?”
Lois glanced down at the hand that he was still holding and he let go of it, leaving her tortured by the tingles it left behind. She turned her wrist and looked at her watch. It was six-thirty. “Three hours. I’ve got to run back to my apartment and get my bags and then I’m off.”
Clark could barely contain himself. No. No, it was too soon. She was leaving today? He wasn’t going to see her for who knew how long, and she had only given him this brief amount of time to say goodbye? “When will you be back?”
Lois swallowed and fought against the lump that was trying to form in her throat. “I got a temporary visa that’s good for three months. Perry was able to get me a provisional transfer. The three months will give me time to adjust and see if I want to stay longer, and it will give the branch office over there time to see if I’ve got what they’re looking for.”
Clark felt like he couldn’t breathe. Three months? That seemed like an eternity. He had only known her for a little over a year and yet felt like he had known her his whole life. Three months without her would pass like a long, slow burn – eating away at his heart, consuming everything inside him, and leaving nothing in its wake.
“Lois,” his voice choked and he couldn’t say anything more.
Lois turned away, overcome by the emotions she was feeling. How had she possibly thought it would be easy to leave him behind and be gone for three months?
Snap out of it, she told herself. This was just Clark, and he had played with her emotions enough. That’s exactly why she was leaving, so she could figure some things out. “It’s not like we won’t talk – we will. There is such a thing as phones. My plane arrives in Paris at nine fifty-five a.m., Paris time. I promise I’ll call you as soon as it lands.”
She started to walk away, but Clark caught hold of her and wrapped her in an embrace. He held her tightly for just a few precious seconds and then whispered in her ear, “Call me if you need anything. I mean it – anything.” And call Superman if you get into any trouble, he added silently.
Not that he could possibly hear her. He could be there in mere moments, but what good would that do him if he didn’t even know she was in trouble?
Lois bit the inside of her lip to keep from crying. “I will. Thank you.” She pulled away from his arms and gave him a watery smile. “You’ll be fine, Clark. You’ll see. Give it a few days and you won’t even miss me.”
Clark gave her a hollow laugh. “Maybe I’ll find a new partner.” He regretted the words as soon as he had said them. The look on her face couldn’t be read as anything but hurt. Why had he said that? He hadn’t meant it that way. He wished he could take it back. “I mean...”
“Yeah, maybe you will,” she replied flatly. “Goodbye, Clark.”
Clark sighed and let his head drop just a little. “Bye, Lois.”
He stepped aside as she walked past him. She opened his door and then hesitated before saying in a quiet voice, “If you happen to see Superman, would you tell him I said goodbye?” Without waiting for his answer, she walked through the opened door. Clark caught it before it could close and walked out behind her. He watched her walk down the stairs. He watched her walk down the street and turn the corner... she never looked back.
He watched her as long as he could still see her. And then he changed into Superman and flew into the growing darkness of the skies above. Metropolis was going to have to get along without him for tonight.
**********
Lois had whimpered and blubbered all the way to the airport like some fool who had just lost her best friend...
She was ashamed of herself. She hadn’t even carried on like that when her childhood best friend, Stacy, had moved to Oregon in the fifth grade. And here she was simpering like an idiot over Clark... Clark!
She sighed and shifted in her seat, trying to get more comfortable. It didn’t matter how big they made airline seats, or how far back you could lean them, she still never slept well during flights.
Normally she was more interested in looking out the window at the cities passing below, wondering what sorts of things were happening down there, what interesting stories could be developing right that second, but it was nighttime now. It was dark. And she was flying over the Atlantic Ocean - there wasn’t anything to see. She was at least grateful she had paid the extra money to get a non-stop flight. A stopover in London sounded even less appealing now than it had when she had booked the ticket.
Lois leaned forward and repositioned her small pillow before lying back.
Then she smacked her forehead.
Her pillow! That’s what she had forgotten to bring. Oh, that was just great. Lois was checking into a small hotel tonight until she could find out from her new editor-in-chief tomorrow if he had managed to find her housing somewhere yet. She never slept well on strange pillows. And that wasn’t the worst part. Whatever apartment or living quarters that they may have managed to find for her certainly wasn’t going to have a pillow... or at least not a decent pillow.
She was very particular about her pillow – not just any ol’ pillow would do. Did France have a Macy’s? Or maybe a Bed Bath & Beyond? She couldn’t remember. It had been too long since her last visit – when she had gone for her senior trip in high school.
Lois scowled. Was she still going to be able to speak French? She had spoken it well enough on that last trip, but she had been fresh out of school and she had taken two years of French. She had brushed up her French in college when she had taken it as the one required language course she needed her freshman year. But since then, she had sort of let it fall by the wayside.
Particularly after her encounter with Claude.
Lois shivered. Yes, after Claude she hadn’t had any further desire to ever speak French again. Or so she thought. She frowned. Well, most French people knew how to speak English, didn’t they? Between what French she could remember, and their grasp of the English language she should get by okay. Shouldn’t she?
Yeah, if she stuck to the 'Frommer’s Guide to France' version of Paris. She rolled her eyes. Why had she jumped into this so hastily?
Thank god they had a translator working at the Paris branch of the Planet. Apparently they already had a couple of English speaking reporters working there. She was sure that the other reporters had probably begun to pick up the language by now, but speaking it and writing it were two different things. They kept a translator on staff to transcribe the stories into French for the local paper. Then a few of the articles that had international importance were e-mailed to Perry at the Metropolis headquarters for inclusion into the International or World Scene sections of the U.S. paper.
So with her knowledge of French, and the paper’s translator, she would do just fine. Wouldn’t she? Lois fidgeted again, trying to be careful not to disturb the woman sitting next to her – who apparently didn’t have any trouble falling asleep.
But what if Lois didn’t do fine? What if she failed? What if she fell flat on her face? She wasn’t sure she could take that kind of disappointment.
Her mind flitted back to her conversation with Perry –
<”Lois, it’s not that I’m hesitant to give you my endorsement or to send you over there to Paris.” Perry sighed and ran one hand over his thinning hair. “I’m just not certain you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Perry, I need to know that you haven’t lost faith in me.” Lois tried to keep the pleading sound from her voice. “I need to feel that you believe I can do this.”
“Of course I believe you can do this. But what makes you think I want to let you go? We need you here, Lois.” He smiled softly at her and glanced down at her paperwork sitting in front of him, letting out another soft sigh. “But you know, sometimes it’s not about other people’s faith in us, but about our faith in ourselves that’s important.”>And then Perry had let her go. That had told her what she needed to know. No matter what words were coming out of his mouth that he was placating her with, he didn’t have faith in her right now. If he had, he would have fought harder for her to stay. Instead he had signed her transfer papers - papers that he had worked hard to help her obtain - and sent her on her merry way.
That had probably hurt worse than anything. She could handle all of the back-biting, all of the hushed whispering when she came around, the piteous glances she got from people... but not Perry, not his lack of faith in her. She had been expecting a fight from him. She had been *prepared* for a fight... but not for him letting her go that easy.
She just felt so... lost. So unsure of herself and what she had always relied on.
But she would be okay. Lois Lane was a fighter. She would find her way back to the reporter she used to be. She would prove it to everyone, Perry included, and she would especially prove it to herself.
**********
Clark landed a few feet from the front porch of his parents’ farmhouse. He had flown around for a while – trying to clear his head – before coming here. He spun back into his regular clothes and glanced at his watch – ten fifty-seven. It was late, especially for farm life. Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea after all.
He walked up onto the porch and stopped in front of the door, his hand poised to knock. What if they were asleep? He didn’t want to wake them. Of course he could take a *peek* inside, but that felt like an invasion of their privacy.
This could wait. His problems weren’t going anywhere... or more to the point, they had already gone somewhere – Paris – and one night wasn’t going to make any difference.
As he turned around to walk back down the steps, the porch light came on. The door opened behind him and his mom’s face peered out at him.
“Clark? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong, Mom,” Clark said, turning around to face her. “I shouldn’t have come.” He sighed softly. “I’m sorry if I woke you-”
“Nonsense. Your father was having trouble sleeping and I got up to get him a glass of buttermilk. I heard a noise on the porch and turned on the light to see what it was.” She stepped out and grabbed him by the arm, leading him inside the house. “You look like maybe you could use a glass yourself.”
Clark nodded and allowed himself to be led inside to the kitchen table. He sat down and watched his mom get the buttermilk from the fridge and pour two glasses before putting the pitcher back. “Just a second, let me get your father.”
“No, that’s okay, Mom. Don’t...”
She waved his words away. “Don’t be silly, Clark. He can’t sleep anyway. He’ll want to see you.” And then she walked off toward the bedroom.
Clark picked up the glass of buttermilk she had set in front of him and groused to himself as he took a couple of soothing sips. Why had Lois made such a hasty decision like that? Why hadn’t she talked to him to see what he thought?
He scowled before taking another drink. Because she never asked him what he thought. Even when he offered his opinion she didn’t accept it. His scowl deepened. Just like with Luthor.
But that wasn’t completely fair, either. It was also because that was just Lois. She never checked the width of a chasm before attempting to jump across it. That was just her way. Leap first, look later.
Clark glanced down at his watch again – eleven o’ five - trying to determine where exactly in the air she might be right now. Based on when she left and how long the flight to Paris took...
“What brings you to Kansas in the middle of the night, son? Are you having trouble sleeping too?” His dad smiled broadly at him as he walked up to the table and sat down.
Clark gave him a sheepish grin in return. “Yeah. You could say that.”
“Girl troubles,” Jonathan mumbled.
“Huh?” Clark blinked at him.
Martha smacked Jonathan lightly on the shoulder. “Jonathan, don’t be poking your nose in...”
“No, Mom, he’s right,” Clark admitted, going back to staring at his glass of buttermilk.
“I knew it,” Jonathan proclaimed proudly. “Only women or a sour stomach have the ability to keep a man up at this unearthly hour. And we know Clark doesn’t get a sour stomach. So what happened?”
Clark sighed. He wasn’t exactly sure where to begin, so he decided to start at the end and work his way backwards. “Lois left. She’s in the air right now on her way to Paris.”
“Paris? As in Paris, France?” Martha asked, taking a seat on the other side of Clark. She raised her eyebrows at Jonathan.
“Yeah, Mom. France.”
She shook her head in confusion. “So what happened? Were things that uncomfortable between the two of you after... well, you know.”
Clark flinched guiltily. “No, we had sort of moved past that. I forgot that I hadn’t told you.”
“Told us what, son?” Jonathan asked.
Clark swallowed. “Things have been so hectic with rebuilding the Planet, I hadn’t really had a chance to tell you...” He paused for a moment, trying to gather his nerve.
“What?” Martha prodded him.
“I took it back,” he admitted miserably. “The things I had said to Lois about my feelings for her.” He ducked his head and looked back down at his glass. “I told her it wasn’t true.”
“Clark!” Martha exclaimed in astonishment.
“I had my fingers crossed,” Clark said lamely. “But I had to take it back. Lois had told me that she didn’t feel the same way about me. I was afraid it was going to make things uncomfortable between us. You should have seen how she was fidgeting around me when we talked. She looked so nervous and uncomfortable. I didn’t want things to be like that. I wanted them to be the way we were, even if that meant I had to take back what I had said.”
“So then why did she leave?” Jonathan asked before taking a slow drink of his buttermilk.
“I’m not exactly sure, Dad. She said she left because she needed to find herself, and that much I understand. After her near wedding to Luthor, things have been a little difficult for her professionally. But it seems like maybe there might be something else too. Something right beneath the surface. I just don’t know what.” Clark shrugged and let out another sigh. “I just needed someone to talk to. Lois blindsided me with this. She only told me just a few hours ago, right before she left to go to the airport.”
“Really? She hadn’t hinted at it or anything?” Martha asked glancing significantly at Jonathan. “She just showed up at your apartment and said, ‘Clark I’m leaving?’”
“Yeah, basically.”
“And you didn’t find that a little odd?” Martha grilled him.
Clark was beginning to feel a bit defensive. “Well, yeah, I did. But that’s just Lois. Sometimes she goes off half-cocked and does something that she ends up regretting later.”
“Well, did you try to stop her?” Jonathan asked, setting his half-empty glass down and staring intently at Clark.
Clark shifted in his chair, feeling like he was being given the third degree. “Of course I did. She wouldn’t listen to me. And after what had happened with Luthor, I didn’t feel like pressing the issue.”
His mom was nodding at him. “I see. So you figured that since you tried once before and she hadn’t listened to you, why bother?”
He nodded. “I guess.” Clark slumped a little in his chair when he realized how he sounded. He was wallowing and feeling sorry for himself. He took a drink of his milk and tried a different tactic. “But you know, maybe she’s right. Maybe this will give her the fresh start that she’s looking for.” Even as he said the words, he didn’t believe them. He knew his parents wouldn’t either.
“Clark Jerome Kent.” His mother rarely used his full name and it caused him to sit up a little straighter in his seat. “We raised you better than that. We raised you to be honest with people and to care about others... to treat people the way you would want to be treated,” she told him earnestly. “I can’t tell you how upset I was with Lois when she broke your heart, but I know you still care about her and whether you believe it or she believes it, I know she cares about you, too. How can you think that moving half the world away, to a city she doesn’t know, without any friends or family there to support her, is going to help her?”
“It can’t,” Clark admitted sullenly, feeling the heat in his face. “You’re right.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “How could I have let her go off like that? I wanted to stop her. I wanted to tell her how I felt. I was just...”
Martha stood up from her chair and wrapped her arms around Clark from behind him. “I know, honey, you were scared. You had offered her your heart before only to have it trounced on, and you were afraid to do it again. But at times that’s just how love is. Sometimes it can be scary,” she paused to give Jonathan a small grin before continuing, “It can be terrifying.”
“But love is worth taking risks for, Son,” Jonathan broke in. “You need to be honest with Lois. Tell her how you really feel. You might be surprised to find that she’s just as confused as you are.”
“I wish that were true, Dad, but I don’t think so. I think Lois knows who she’s in love with – he’s just been avoiding her lately.”
Martha squeezed him gently. “Thank goodness France isn’t far away for Superman. At least you can keep an eye on her while she’s over there - keep her out of trouble.”
Jonathan nodded his agreement. “From the things you’ve told us, I’ve never seen any woman who could find trouble like that girl can.”
“You guys don’t know the half of it,” Clark said, shaking his head. “Thanks for the nightcap, Mom,” he said, handing the empty glass up to her.
She took it from him and gave him a soft kiss on the top of his head.
“And thanks for the advice,” he added sincerely. “I needed it.”
When Martha walked over to put his glass in the sink, Clark pushed his chair back and stood up. “I guess I better get back home. Lois is supposed to call me when her plane lands.”
“Well don’t forget what we said,” Martha instructed. “And you give Lois our best. Tell her we’re thinking about her.”
“I will. Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, Son.”
“Bye, honey. Be careful flying home.”
**********
To be continued...
Posting - I wouldn't expect the next part before Tuesday of next week. Possibly later than that but definitely not before. Thanks everyone!
