Well I got some able Beta Readers, so thanks to them. My posting schedule should be 2 - 3 times a week (large parts).
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Reflections

Part 2

* * * C R A C K ! ! ! * * *

A bolt of lightning struck close by the hotel, illuminating the room momentarily, breaking Clark out of his chain of memories. He sat up in the bed and shook his head, trying to reorient himself to his present surroundings. Realizing that he was not going to get to sleep any time soon, he threw off his sheets and got up from the bed. He padded slowly over to the little kitchenette area and grabbed a mug and a teabag from the cupboard. After filling the mug from the tap, he focused his heat vision on the water to bring it to a boil, and then set the teabag in to steep. Grabbing the sugar bowl, he made his way to the small table and set himself down on the lone chair. Absentmindedly he dunked the teabag up and down in the water, while he stared at the window blindly, listening to the rain that had begun to fall.

He felt a weariness that reached down to the very core of his soul. He had thought that after a year of playing superhero he would have learned how to harden himself against the sadness and the evil he had to deal with on a day-to-day basis. But it still got to him, often draining him emotionally. Of course he knew that not doing anything with his powers was just as bad... actually worse. He sometimes selfishly wished he could be a little more callous about the world, so he wouldn't feel such a burden when he couldn't save a life, or stop a crime.

No, he didn't really want that either. Callousness was one of the things that he despised the most. He never understood how another human being... in his case, another sentient being... could be so uncaring. But he knew that callousness was plentiful enough in the world. Sometimes the only thing that kept him going was the occasional gratitude he received when he saved someone. It sustained him more than anything else could, since he had nothing else in the world to sustain him in that way... no one else to sustain him in that way.

He placed a couple of spoonfuls of sugar into his mug, and continued to stare at the window as he slowly stirred his tea. Without anything to focus on, his mind began to drift back again to France and Lena...

[** The south of France, three years ago. **]

As the night wore on, Clark and Lena took in several of the popular nightspots in the city. Around eight o'clock they ended up at a fashionable outdoor bistro, and dined on extravagant French food. Lena started out her meal with a cream-filled French pastry. "Life is short, eat dessert first," she had proclaimed to Clark. By ten o'clock they were in a busy jazz club, dancing the night away. Lena was again surprised when Clark showed her his skill on the dance floor. She even believed him when he told her how he had learned dancing from a Nigerian princess while he had spent some time in Africa.

It was now one in the morning and most of the regular patrons had gone home, needing to get up for their respective jobs in the morning. Clark was slowly dancing with Lena to an old Dinah Washington tune, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder. The people still sitting at their tables could see that the couple on the dance floor was alone in their own universe.

Clark had also dreamed of a moment like this, to be able to be this close to a woman. It had been a whirlwind of a day, and now the quietness of the slow dance allowed Clark to really think about his time with Lena. She had been like a small Kansas tornado, drawing him up into her world. And he had been powerless to stop it.

Did he want to stop it now? She was exciting to be with, and beautiful. More importantly, she was intelligent, and had a strength of character that was very appealing. He knew that if someday he decided to share his life with a woman, she would have to be intelligent and strong enough to accept the fact that he wasn't normal, probably not even human. Clark was beginning to feel like Lena would be that someone who could accept him in that way.

But did he want that now... with her? He just didn't know. He did know that she felt good in his arms right now, and he didn't want the moment to end just yet. As if sensing something, Lena looked up into his eyes, and gave him a small, satisfied smile. "So what are you thinking about?" she asked him softly.

Clark only replied with a small smile, uncertain of what to say. "Well?" she prodded. "You must be thinking of something." She had that mischievous look in her eye whenever she was trying to bait him.

Sighing, Clark replied, "I guess I was thinking that I never felt quite like this before, and I'm not sure what to do next."

Lena smiled, and was about to reply, when she caught the look in Clark's eyes. Something made her pause for a moment, and Clark could have sworn he saw a look of panic flit across her expression for a second. She cleared her throat in a effort to collect herself, and then said, "Listen, Clark, I had a really wonderful time today with you. You're a great guy, but..."

"But I'm not really your type," he finished for her.

Acting a little shy now she said back, "Actually, I was going to say I'm not really your type. I'm not the kind of girl you want to take home to meet your parents in Kansas."

He knew that he shouldn't say the next words that came out his mouth, but he couldn't stop himself. "Maybe I should decide who my type is," he whispered back, leaning over to kiss her softly on the lips.

The surprise on her face was evident as Clark lifted his head from the kiss. For the first time today, she actually looked like she was at a loss for words. Taking advantage of her rare silence, he leaned over again, and engaged her in a long, passionate kiss. Lena was quick to respond, and soon the music faded away from their senses. When their lips parted, they both looked like they had just experienced something they had never felt before. Gradually the universe intruded on their world, and they became aware of their surroundings once again. Lena's wicked grin returned as she said, "So, Kansas, maybe we should get out of here before we get arrested."

Clearly embarrassed, Clark replied, "Maybe that would be a good idea." He was shocked at himself for what had just happened; he had never been that forward with a woman before. It must be Lena's influence on him. He could get in real trouble here, if he wasn't careful. Even as he thought that, he could hear a small voice in the back of his head saying, 'Yeah! Get in trouble with her. Go for it.'

He promptly smacked the voice on the back of its head.

Minutes later they were outside the club, hailing down a cab. A quiet cab ride later, Clark was escorting Lena to the front door of her hotel. He was furiously thinking on how to gracefully end the evening without looking like an idiot. He watched her slip the key into the lock and swing the door of her room open. The actions appeared to happen in slow motion to him, his brain still focused on trying to think of something to say. Standing on the threshold, she turned to him and looked at him tentatively.

"Clark, usually at this part of the evening, I would be asking you in for a drink. My expectation would be that you spend the night, and in the morning we go our separate ways. Somehow though, I believe that if you step into this room right now it will mean something more to you than a prelude to a single night of passion. Right now I'm not sure I can offer you more that a single night. While I'm sure that a night with you in my bed would be incredible, I don't want to give you false hopes."

"Does this mean you don't want to see me again?" Clark asked, sadness in his voice.

'"No..." She sighed. "I don’t know. I just know that if you spent the night with me, I'm not sure if I have anything more to give you past tonight."

"Then instead of inviting me in for the night, why don't you see me again tomorrow? We can get to know each other better. I did have a great time today, but I still feel like I haven't really got to know you yet. I sense that there's a lot about you that I still need to learn."

She looked genuinely torn. "I don't know if I'm ready to do that... to let someone get to know me. There are things you don't know about me Clark that I'm not sure I can ever share with you. And I don't want to see you get hurt, you're too nice a guy for me to do that to you."

Clark reached up and traced her jaw line with a single finger. He stopped at the tip of her chin and then gently tilted her head up to force her to look into his eyes. Without saying anything, he leaned down and softly kissed her on the lips, then on the cheek. Lifting his head, he looked at her solemnly and said, "You can't go through your whole life alone, carrying secrets that you can share with no one. Believe me, I know. Someday you'll need to find someone who can share those secrets with you. It's always been my hope that I could find someone I can share my secrets... and my life. I can't imagine being alone forever. So how about we try to get to know one another, and see where it goes?"

"I don't know."

"How about one more day, and see how you feel tomorrow night. Please."

"Oh, Clark, I can't promise you..." She looked into his eyes once more. Clark could almost see the conflict raging within her. For not the first time in the evening, Clark wondered what Lena was holding back, what was making her feel that she had to be alone. Finally the internal battle seemed to resolve itself. "All right, Clark, I'll see you tomorrow. Pick me up in the morning at ten for brunch. Dress casual."

Clark beamed at her. "Great! I'll see you at ten then." He quickly kissed her, and turned to walk down the hall toward the elevator. He got to the end of the hall and was about to push the button when his super hearing picked up Lena muttering to herself in her doorway: "What the hell am I thinking."

Clark reacted automatically by snapping his head around and looking straight at Lena. She gave him a small smile and waved goodnight at him, unaware that he had heard her comment. Clark was unsure how he should react. Of course Lena's comment wasn't meant to be heard by him, but thanks to his abilities, he did hear it. Did she think that she had made a mistake by agreeing to see him again, or was he just reading too much into the comment? Deciding that he was just worrying too much, he smiled back at her, and gave her a little wave just as the doors of the elevator opened to let him in. Entering, he stood there staring through the open doors, trying to decide if he was making a mistake pursuing a woman like Lena. After a few moments he realized that he needed to push the button to get the elevator moving. Shaking his head, he pressed the button for the lobby.

It was going to be a long wait until tomorrow morning.

~*~*~*~*~

The next morning at nine fifty-nine, Clark was standing in the hallway of Lena's room, checking himself in a wall mirror for the tenth time. He had spent considerable time picking just the right combination of shorts and t-shirt to wear for their day out. Nervously he approached her door and raised his hand to knock. Just as he was about to strike the door with his fist, it swung open wide, and Lena came barreling out of the room. She was halfway to the elevator, when she stopped and turned toward Clark. He still had his hand in the air, poised to knock on the door. The sight of Lena had frozen him to the spot, and his brain had yet to engage to tell him what to do next. "Well, Kansas, are you going to stand there all day, or are you coming with me?"

Her comment broke the spell holding Clark, and he said apologetically, "Sorry. Yeah, let's go." He caught up with her, and they walked together to the elevator. Clark eyed Lena appreciatively, noting how good she looked in her form-fitting tank top and shorts. They stood there a couple of moments until Lena, without taking her eyes off the elevator door, slyly commented, "You should push the button if you want to get the elevator."

Clark chuckled as he reached for the button. "I seem to have a problem with that lately."

"I see. Well, I think you look pretty good too. I was hoping this outfit might catch your eye."

Clark just nodded in response. Then grinning he replied, "Then I won't feel so bad ogling... um I mean appreciating your 'outfit' today."

She turned and gave Clark one of those feral looks that made him feel like he was more prey than date. He was fortunately rescued by the arrival of the elevator. He swept his hand toward the elevator and inquired, "Shall we?"

"Yes, let's." They both walked in and this time Clark even remembered to push the button right away.

~*~*~*~*~

After brunch, they spent the rest of the day exploring the town and the coastline. Clark shared more of his life growing up in Smallville, and Lena gave him glimpses of her childhood. He was perplexed by the tidbits of her life she shared with him. When speaking of her parents, and how they ignored her in favor of climbing the social ladder, she would have a bitter edge to her voice. But when he listened to her heartbeat, she didn't have the elevated heart rate of someone who was upset at something. Either she was a very calm person, or the stories she related to really didn't bother her all that much. He was having trouble figuring her out.

It was late in the day now, dusk fast approaching. With the sun beginning to set, it was getting too cool for their casual dress, and they headed back to Lena's hotel so that she could change. As they approached her door once again, Clark still felt that he had barely scratched the surface of who Lena really was. He turned to her as he asked, "So, how was spending the day with me? Was it worth giving up a night of passion?" Even though his tone was teasing, he was actually very anxious to hear her reply.

She reached up and stroked his cheek softly as she spoke. "Clark, I had a good day today. I don't get to have days like this very often, so I want to thank you for that." Then her expression turning wicked again she added, "Though if you want me to make a comparison to a night of passion with you, I'll need the experience to make my final decision." She saw the reaction to her comment, and her face suddenly became more serious.

"Listen Clark, I had a great time today, but I don't think I could try a serious relationship in my life right now. It's just not me. So maybe we should just call it a day, and keep some nice memories in our hearts."

Clark was heartbroken, but he had expected she'd say something like this. He didn't want to push her into anything she wasn't ready for, but he didn't want to close the door on her forever either. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a scrap of paper with an address written on it, and handed it to her. "I thought you might say that. Here, this is my parents' address in Kansas. They can always find a way to get a hold of me, no matter where I am. If you ever change you mind, you can reach me that way."

“No promises,” she said softly, the paper clutched in her hand.

“I know, but just in case...”

“Yeah, just in case.”

She leaned in to give him a final kiss goodbye, but Clark placed his fingers gently on her lips to stop her. "The next time I kiss you, I don't want it to be a goodbye."

Understanding, she smiled back at him. "Until next time then."

"Until next time." He then gave her one last sad look and said, "I hope you find what you're looking for, Lena." He turned away and walked down the hall. Behind him, the sound of the door closing shut echoed like a gunshot in his mind.

~*~*~*~*~

Exiting the hotel, Clark surveyed the now darkened avenues and watched as the streetlights began to turn on. Looking up, his melancholy mood didn't allow him to appreciate the beauty of the stars appearing in the night sky. He stuck his hands in his pockets and just stood there, uncertain what to do now.

He felt both heartbroken and foolish at the same time. He had really thought that there was a genuine spark between them, but apparently it wasn't strong enough for her. He should have known better then try to pursue a woman who was obviously out of his league. Even now, there was a tiny bit of hope that someday soon he would get a message from his parents that Lena was trying to reach him. He really was a fool. He looked one way down the street, and then the other, trying to decide which way to walk... which direction next his life could take.

Then he heard it. It was the sound of Lena's voice, struggling with someone in her room, eight stories above. He looked up at the hotel and dashed around the corner, remembering that her room window was on the far side of the building. Almost instantaneously he was directly below her window trying to see into her room, but he couldn't see anything from his vantage point.

Looking around to make sure no one was in sight, he removed his glasses and stuck them in his pocket. After one last look for witnesses, he began to rise quickly upward toward her window. He was moving as fast as he dared, fearing the worse. He was almost to the eighth floor when suddenly the window of her room exploded, and Lena came flying out of it. Clark had no time to do anything but react and catch her. Moving fast enough not to be seen, he continued upward to the roof, and landed softly on top.

He now had a chance to look at how Lena was coping with her rescue. He expected her to be frightened, but instead, on her face was an expression of intense scrutiny... as if she was trying to figure out exactly how Clark had saved her. As Clark set her down, she didn't take her eyes off his face. He was starting to get worried about her reaction, and was about to try to speak to her, but it was Lena who found her voice first. "You caught me. I was in mid-air, and you caught me." The tone of her voice held a combination of fascination and sheer terror, and she was still staring directly into Clark's eyes.

"I did, but I'll have to explain later. Right now I'm going to take care of whoever did this to you." He turned to fly off, but Lena's hand on his arm restrained him.

"Clark, don't. They're gone by now, and I... and I..." Finally she broke down and covered her face with her hands, her body shaking in the delayed reaction of her brush with death. Clark immediately went to her and enveloped her in his arms. He stroked her back and rocked her gently, trying to assure her that she was now safe.

After a few minutes, Clark whispered softly, "So, can you tell me now what happened?"

"Only if you can you tell me how you just saved me."

***************

The past evaporated as Clark winced at the thought of that moment. If he knew what was to happen in the ensuing weeks, he would have just flown away right then and there. Well maybe he wouldn't have, but he should have. He looked down at the cold mug of tea he was still stirring, surprised that he hadn't bored a hole through the bottom. He set the spoon down and shoved the mug away in disgust. Checking his internal clock, he realized that it was nearing dawn, so he might as well give up on trying to sleep.

He decided to try to clean his suit, and got up to retrieve it from his suitcase. He took it over to the sink and ran the hot water over it. Grabbing the soap, he started to scrub the dirt out, careful not to scrub so fast that the suit tore. He had already lost one that way. Satisfied that it was as clean as it was going to get, he rinsed it off, and wrung in out over the sink. Hanging up the separate pieces, he then took a couple of steps back so he could sweep them with heat vision to dry them out quickly. Just as he was finishing, he heard the sound of metal and plastic colliding together... an early morning accident on the rain-slick streets, no doubt. He concentrated and zeroed in on the source of the sounds.

He really wasn't in the mood, but someone might be dying and needed his help. Looked like it was a job for... a job for... whoever he was these days. He dressed into the suit at super speed and flew out the window, leaving it open behind him. The cold wind drafted into the room, which was now silent with its owner's absence. The cold mug of tea on the table was the only testimony that he had ever been there at all.

-- End Part 2 --