A huge thank you to the wonderful Beth, Kelly, and Carol!!
From Chapter 16
Clark came back in and so Chad and I said our goodbyes to Rachel.
“When are you coming for your next visit?” I asked her as I pulled away.
“I'm not sure,” she said, her voice quiet and I noticed her eyes fill with tears as Clark came over to give her a hug. I turned to give them some privacy. I couldn't imagine doing the long distance thing.
“I'll come back after I drop them off and we can talk some more,” I heard Clark say softly before he came back over to us.
The four of us walked outside and Clark turned to give Rachel another tight hug and tell her again that he'd be right back. I was surprised to realize that his eyes, too, were covered with tears when he came back over and wrapped an arm around each of our waists. Dating long distance must be even harder than I thought – I wouldn't have expected Clark to get emotional over the weekend being over.
We lifted off a moment later and waved at Rachel before Clark shot us up over the clouds.
Chapter 17
I was starting to get worried about Clark. We had been back from Smallville for about a week and he seemed to be getting more and more tired. The news showed more nighttime Superman rescues than normal, but they continued to seem to be mostly things he wouldn't need to help with, particularly if he was not getting enough sleep.
More infuriating, though, he wouldn't talk about why he was not sleeping. Actually, he barely talked at all. We had had lunch together everyday this week, but he spent most of the time either staring off into space or nodding absently to anything I said.
Finally, on Friday, I had enough. “You're coming over for dinner,” I told him as I saw him packing up for the day.
“Not tonight, Lois,” he said. “I…”
“Yes, tonight,” I insisted. “You don't have a choice. If you need to run out to run an errand or whatever,” I said, mindful of the people around us, “that's fine, but you're going to come over. Seven.”
I turned around and went directly to the bathroom. I knew he could call later to cancel, or just not show up at all and blame it on Superman, but I was hoping that by leaving before he had a chance to say no now, he would show.
************************
“It's probably just what Jonathan said about him not being able to not help if he passes something,” Chad said to me that night as he started setting the table. It was my night and I had ordered Chinese. While it wouldn't even compare to the stuff Clark had brought us from China, it was pretty decent. And I wasn't stupid enough to ask Clark to go half-way around the world for food. No doubt he'd go, but then he'd probably find six or seven rescues that had to get done on his way back and never make it here.
“That can't be all of it,” I told Chad. “If that was it, this would be normal and it's not. Besides, it's not just the rescues or even how tired he is since that's probably related to him being up all night. It's also his complete unwillingness to talk.”
Chad came over to put his arms around me. “I'm not sure anyone's bothered to let you know this, but you're not married to Clark. He doesn't have to talk to you.”
“Very funny,” I said as I reached up to place a kiss on his lips. “I know he doesn't have to talk to me, but that's never been a problem before.”
“Maybe this is something personal,” Chad suggested.
“More personal than the fact that he was found in a spaceship?”
“Okay,” Chad finally agreed. “Point taken.”
I went back into the kitchen to get the silverware. Chad blocked my way back to the table, though. “Lois,” he said, his voice gentle. “I'm glad you and Clark are so close that it bothers you when he won't talk to you. You've always been so hesitant to make friends with potential rivals at the paper. You and Linda were always competing and you've never really had a friend at the Planet before now except for Jimmy and Perry – no one who was really an equal, so I say this with love.”
“What?” I asked suddenly suspicious.
“You need to realize that even if it seems like he's told you his most personal secret, he doesn't have to tell you what's going on now. I know you want him, too, but…”
“I know,” I said, resting my head on Chad's chest. “Wait till you see him, though, Chad. You'll see what I mean.”
The doorbell rang and Chad went to answer it. One look at Clark and I could tell that Chad got it. He turned to me with wide eyes. It was hard to understand until you saw it, but it was hard to take seeing Clark tired. Not that he looked any different than anyone else when they were tired. It just wasn't… normal for Clark.
“Hi,” Clark said listlessly. “I brought you guys a bottle of wine.” He handed the bottle to Chad. “I wasn't sure, but I thought it was Lois' night so I brought red thinking we were likely having pizza.” He smiled, but it was a weak version of the smile that normally lit up his face.
“Chinese,” I told him. Clark nodded as he took his coat off and hung it up. “It should be here any minute,” I filled in.
Chad moved towards the couch and Clark followed. I took the seat next to Chad and felt him reach for my hand. His concern for Clark was palpable and it made me feel better. Having an ally in this felt like a good thing. It was a weird feeling – almost like whatever was going on with Clark was an enemy, but it sort of was. The man in my living room now was so… not Clark, that it was hard not to feel like it had to be somehow defeated.
“So, there's been a lot of Superman rescues recently,” Chad said. I looked at him and smiled. He wasn't going to let Clark not talk.
“Yeah,” Clark said. Okay, maybe that was not enough to defeat the beast.
“Clark, what's going on?” I asked. After a week of this behavior, I was more than a little frustrated. Chad squeezed my hand and placed another hand on my arm. I knew he was trying to tell me that a gentle touch would be better, but I wasn't good at that. I had already been way more patient with Clark than I normally was.
“Nothing,” Clark said. “I really don't want to talk about it.”
Chad got up to get the food when the doorbell rang. I didn't want to move. I felt like we had finally made some headway. At least he was admitting something was going on. “So, there is something,” I confirmed.
Chad moved the food to the table, but then came back to the couch to sit down. Like me, he didn't want to spoil whatever had made Clark spill even as little as he had so far.
Clark shook his head. “Rach and I… we decided that things weren't working,” Clark said. “But I really don't want to talk about it right now,” he repeated.
Well, that explained several things really, including the tears when we left last week. How could they have broken up though? They'd been together for years and seemed so happy together. Some part of me knew I should be happy. This meant there was no reason for Clark to leave Metropolis. But looking at him now, it was hard to feel happy.
“Oh, Clark,” was all I managed to get out, but Clark did not say anything more.
Chad got up and we followed him to the table. A look at Chad showed that he, too, was feeling sort of sad now. I'm not sure why, but somehow knowing that Clark and Rachel had broken up was depressing. Maybe it was because they were our only friends who were a couple. Or maybe it was just because we both cared for Clark and it was clear that he was hurting. I don't know. All I knew was that I had been waiting for this. I had been dreading the possibility of it not happening and Clark moving to Smallville instead, but now I wished I could take it all back. Maybe Clark in Smallville wouldn't be so bad after all.
************************
After a dinner where Clark continued to imitate a clam, Chad invited him rock climbing. I wasn't sure if rock climbing was really a speaking activity, but maybe that was Chad's point – to make Clark feel like he could be social without talking - and then he would open up.
Clark started to disagree, but then saw the look on my face and changed his mind. I think he must have realized I would be all too happy to give him what-for later if he said no.
“So?” I asked Chad when he came home from rock climbing.
“It was… okay. I don't know, Lois. It sounds like he's working through it,” Chad told me.
“Working through what? The fact that he broke up with his girlfriend who he's in love with?” I asked incredulous.
Chad nodded. “I know. I can't imagine. I keep thinking about making the decision to not live with you and it's hard to imagine. But… I don't know. I get the impression Clark's been sort of waiting for this.”
“That's because he's a lunkhead,” I muttered. “He's been waiting for this for years, sure she was going to reject him for being an alien. But she didn't. If they could work past that, how could they not work through the silly long distance thing?”
Chad smiled at me and came to put his arms around me. “I know, honey, but this is Clark's choice. Not ours.”
“I'm going over there,” I said moving to put my coat on.
“Lois, leave it alone,” Chad warned me.
“Is he not hurting anymore?” I asked.
Chad sighed. “No, he is. He said he wanted to start doing the tests soon. Maybe next weekend.”
“What tests?” I asked.
“The ones on his limits,” Chad said. “I don't get the feeling he's really ready yet, you know? He still seems so uncomfortable. But I think he's trying to move past that. I feel like… like he's doing this as it's something to keep his mind off Rachel.”
“It's ridiculous anyway. How can he test his limits when he's so tired?” I pointed out.
Chad nodded. “I know. I thought of that. He was having some trouble at the gym today staying on the rock. He kept popping off. I'm sure it's the exhaustion. Maybe you can try to convince him to sleep?” Chad suggested.
“Maybe you should come with me. Give him a lecture on the need for sleep?” I suggested.
“No, I don't think that'll work. He so clearly doesn't want to talk about this, he clams up when we're both around. How about you go over now and try to get him to talk? I'll make something for dinner and bring it over later.”
************************
“Oh, hi,” Clark said when he opened the door.
“Good to see you, too,” I smiled at him.
“Sorry,” Clark said, moving aside for me to enter. “I'm just tired.”
“I know,” I replied. “I'm hoping to help with that.”
“You have some Andrews… what is your maiden name anyway?” he asked me.
“Lane,” I said, confused by the non-sequitor.
“So, you have some ancient Lane cure for superheros?” he asked and I was glad to see him joking, even weakly.
I laughed slightly, “I guess my grandmother might have had something, but neither of my parents were parental enough for that. But there is an Andrews thing, and from what I saw of your parents, I would expect it to be the same cure the Kents have.”
“What's that?” Clark asked, looking at me with suspicion.
“Talking,” I said, making myself comfortable on his couch and looking at him in a way that I hoped made it clear I was expecting him to join me. “I know you don't want to talk about it, Clark, and I'd like to respect your need to work through this on your own, but you're not. You're just suffering. Please let me help.”
Clark sighed as he sat down. “I don't really know what to say.”
“Want to tell me about what you and Rachel talked about? I mean, it's pretty clear that you didn't just stop caring about her.”
“No,” Clark sighed again. “I didn't. I love her. But… I don't know. I guess that's not enough. I want it to be, but there's no way around it. I'm happiest living here. Both because I want to write for a major paper and because I can help so many more people here than in Smallville. And not just because Metropolis is bigger, but also because it's closer to other large cities like New York, Boston, and Philadelphia.
“I just… I think I need to live here. And Rachel needs to live in Smallville. She offered to move here, but she didn't really mean it. She loves her life there – not just her job, but the entire way of life. She likes Metropolis enough to visit, but not to live here. And I love her too much to let her move here for me and be unhappy.”
“I'm so sorry, Clark,” I said. “Is there really no middle ground?”
“I think this is the middle ground,” Clark said. “We're friends still. I can't imagine not being friends with her. I guess this isn't your traditional break up in that we didn't fight or have any big scenes. We both just agreed that being apart was making us unhappy and yet neither of us wanted the other person to move to where we wanted to live as then they'd be unhappy.
“None of that changes the fact that Rachel is still one of the best people I've ever known and I want to have her in my life. But I don't think she fits in the role she's been in. I think friends is better for us. Eventually, we'll move on and it won't hurt anymore. That has to be better than what we've been doing before now - where we've both been hurting except for the small amount of time we've been together.”
What he was saying made sense, but it didn't change the fact that I felt awful for him.
His head picked up slightly. “Sorry, Lois. I have to go,” he said.
“Can I wait here?” I asked him. “Chad was going to come by with dinner.”
Clark smiled. “You guys are amazing, you know that? Of course you can stay. I don't know how long I'll be, though. It sounds bad.”
With that, he spun into the Superman suit and took off.
************************
I turned LNN on after Clark left, figuring I'd get a good idea of how long he'd be gone, and I could call Chad. Unfortunately, they were covering international news. I sat back down and flipped through the channels until I finally found a local affiliate that was running Metropolis news.
“A multiple shooting at the Park Ridge Mall has officials in a panic,” the newscaster said. “So far, six people have been found dead. According to police, a caller who preferred not to be identified called in a half hour ago, reporting a hostage situation in a women's clothing store. We also have reports of victims in neighboring stores.
“Superman arrived on the scene shortly after the police,” she said as the channel showed footage of Superman flying into the mall, “and has been shuttling victims to Metropolis Hospital. No one is sure if more patrons were killed or how many more are injured.”
The screen flashed off the on-site reporter to one in the studio. “Please stay tuned to Channel 5 for more updates on this breaking news. We now return to our regularly scheduled program.”
I flipped back to LNN, but before I was able to determine if they had picked up the news yet, Clark's phone rang. I considered not answering it, but then changed my mind. Clark wouldn't mind, would he?
“Hello?” I asked as I picked up.
“Hi, honey,” came Chad's voice on the other end of the line.
“Oh, I was just about to call you. I wanted to tell you that Clark is out…”
“I know,” Chad cut me off. “I was calling to tell you that I'm not going to be able to come by for dinner. So far, Superman's brought in twelve people from the mall, he's not done yet, and he still has to bring in the ones who didn't make it so that someone can put together death certificates.” He sighed, “As you can imagine the ER is overloaded.”
“So, you're going into the hospital,” I said.
“Yeah,” Chad sighed. “I'm sorry, Lois. But maybe you and Clark can come over here when he's done. Dinner was almost ready. It'll just need to be heated.”
“Okay,” I replied, feeling somewhat dispirited. I couldn't wait for Chad to finish his first year of residency in June. While I knew it may not change anything, the fact that there was another group of students joining the staff would mean Chad shouldn't be low man on the totem pole anymore.
Turning to LNN, it sounded like Clark might have a lot more to do yet, so I left him a note asking him to meet me at my place and went home.
************************
I woke up to the sound of the door opening and sat up startled. “Hello?” I called into the darkness.
“Lois?” Chad asked, turning a light on. “What are you doing down here?”
“Waiting for you,” I said with a yawn. “Clark left hours ago. I think he may even be tired enough to sleep now. Anyway, I thought I'd wait up for you.” I glanced at the clock on the VCR and groaned, “Although I hadn't known you would be gone so long.”
“I'm sorry,” Chad said, sitting beside me and leaning his head against the back of the couch.
“Are you okay?” I asked realizing how pale he looked.
“It was awful,” he said quietly. “There were so many victims – thirty injuries and a dozen deaths.”
“Wow! Did they catch the guy?” I asked. There was still no news on that when I fell asleep.
Chad nodded. “I heard on my way home that the police found him a little ways out of town.”
I placed a hand on his cheek. He still looked pale.
“It was so awful, Lois,” he whispered and I could tell that the breakdown was coming. “There was a little boy there, no older than three. Shot right in the head.”
I moved closer to wrap my arms around him, bringing his head to my breast to stroke his hair.
“I don't understand. How can someone do that?” he asked. I could feel him trembling beneath my hands and I said nothing, letting him get it all out.
“I bet nothing like this ever happens in Smallville,” he whispered before he stilled and fell asleep.
