While I am behind in writing and have almost no hope of catching up before I go back to work on Monday, I'm planning to keep to the original posting schedule again starting today. So expect part 21 on Monday.

Thanks as always to Carol, Kelly, and Beth for the awesome job beta-ing!

From Chapter 19

Chad pulled away from me slightly and rested his forehead against mine. “I know,” he said quietly. “And I have no idea what we'll do if I like it. I mean, I do think in the end it won't matter. Even if it's great, I'll remember that I'd rather be with you every day, but… I'm so scared, Lois. I feel so angry all the time at work now. I'm worried that that's going to carry over and I'm going to start resenting you.

“I don't ever want to get to a place where I feel that way,” he said, his eyes brimming with tears. “Lois, I'd rather not see you every day than get to a point where I feel unreasonably angry at you all the time.”

I nodded to show I understood.

“We're not Clark and Rachel,” he said again softly, bringing his lips to mine. I could taste his tears on his lips. “We'll make our way through this together,” he whispered before he picked me up and brought me upstairs.

Chapter 20

I was surprised Clark didn't cancel dinner plans with us for the following night. I had been short with him all day. I couldn't help it. I knew it wasn't really his fault, but I felt like he had put the idea into Chad's head. He was the one to show Chad that some people could have a long distance relationship and make it work – although he had also shown that it couldn't work forever. He was the one who had shown Chad what a small town was like.

I knew he hadn't done either of those things maliciously. He probably didn't even remember my telling him that Chad had always dreamed of practicing medicine in a small town, but I still felt like it was his fault. Maybe. Or maybe I just wanted somebody to blame. I was not interested in having a long distance relationship. We had done that in college and I knew what it was like. It was lonely.

I had seen Clark going through it and he always seemed so much happier when Rachel was around. I didn't want to be that way.

But what were my choices? I could agree to move with him. That didn't make any sense, though. Why would I give up my place at the Planet on the chance that Chad was happy when he didn't really know if this was what he wanted? Maybe he would be bored at a small town hospital.

I had suggested maybe moving to the suburbs and finding a small town nearby, but Chad said that it wouldn't work. First off, Metropolis wasn't like some of the smaller cities in the US, where small towns were right outside of large metropolitan areas and because everything nearby was suburbs, there just weren't many opportunities in the suburbs. There were a few hospitals here and there for emergencies, but they tended to be pretty small and focus on the ER. People came into the city for specialists.

Plus Chad didn't want to practice in the suburbs. He wanted to try a small town, and the truth was that people in the suburbs of Metropolis were not that different than people in Metropolis. Many of them were one and the same – they worked in the city and lived in the suburbs - so of course they had the same city-attitude that Chad wanted to try to get away from.

I could forbid him to go. Well, not really forbid him, but give him an ultimatum. I couldn't do that, though. I wanted to. I wanted to so much, but how could I? Chad had been here in Metropolis for years for me. How could I deny him this?

I couldn't. I loved him too much. I was going to have to do it. I was going to have to watch my husband of five years leave me and start a life someplace else.

The only consolation was that it probably wouldn't happen right away. Residencies in small towns were not easy to come by and Chad had missed out on the obvious chance to move in June when new terms started. He had said he thought he may have to wait until the end of this year and move in June and then things could get complicated. If he really settled in a small town, it probably wouldn't matter. Once he passed his Boards, he'd be able to practice. If he wanted to practice in Metropolis, though, it would be easier to get a position with a subspecialty and then he'd need to do a Fellowship. And a small town hospital wouldn't have a program big enough to be employing fellows.

So, in the end, it may not work out at all. But was that what I wanted? Did I want Chad to stay in Metropolis for me because he had to? No, what I really wanted was for Chad to want to be in Metropolis. And not just because I'm here, but because this is truly where he wanted to be.

So, clearly, I was not going to get what I wanted. I could only hope that Chad found a way to get what he wanted.

************************

“Hi,” Clark said as he came in and he seemed subdued. Clearly he had picked up on my mood earlier even if he hadn't said anything.

“Did you bring dinner?” Chad asked taking in the bag in his hand. “I made something.”

“I brought dessert,” Clark said. He looked right at me. “I got some chocolate mousse from a small restaurant in Nice. It's sort of a peace offering for whatever I did.”

“What did you do?” Chad asked him, but when he realized that Clark was just as clueless he turned to me.

“You didn't do anything,” I said grumpily. “I'm just in a bad mood.” I could feel the tears pressing on the back of my eyes. I wasn't ready for company tonight. Not even Clark. I got up and moved to the bathroom before I started to cry.

When I came back out a couple of minutes later, Clark was saying good night to Chad. “I'll see you tomorrow, Lois,” he said to me softly.

“No,” I said a little too loudly. “Please stay.” I didn't want company, but I didn't want him to leave either. I wasn't ready to have another conversation with Chad. I was too worried about what would be said.

“I can come back tomorrow,” Clark started, but I cut him off.

“No, please. We invited you for tonight. I'm… I'm sorry, Clark. I know I've been awful to you all day, but please stay.”

Looking supremely uncomfortable, Clark sat down. We sat in silence for a few minutes before the beeper on the oven went off and we moved to the table.

“So, test results?” Clark asked and I could tell he had lost interest in them somewhat, but wanted to ease the tension in the room.

“Yeah, so I was only able to do some basic tests,” Chad explained, “but most of them came back without an error. I was able to measure most typical blood components just as I would for me or Lois.”

“What does that mean?” I asked.

“It means, that from what I can tell, Clark not only looks mostly human, but he may be mostly human,” Chad explained. “Or at least close enough.”

“But what about…” Clark started to ask, but Chad cut him off.

“No idea. It doesn't explain your differences very well. The only thing I noticed was that you had low levels of cholesterol and high levels of Vitamin D. The low cholesterol fits with your other resistance to human illness and the vitamin D is probably related to your reaction to the yellow sun,” Chad said. “I can't explain it fully, obviously, but it's all I know.”

Clark smiled. “It's still much more than I knew earlier today.”

“That's what I thought,” Chad said.

“So…” Clark said, clearly realizing this conversation was over and wondering what to say next. It was like Chad's decision was the pink elephant in the room. We had lots in common, all of us, but there was nothing to talk about with this hanging over us.

“I know what I said when you came in,” Chad said to Clark, “but as Lois and I have already talked about, it's probably not going to happen. The logistics are difficult. I missed the best chance to change residency programs in June and few small towns have residence programs anyway.”

Clark suddenly looked supremely uncomfortable. At first I thought it was because he didn't want to be involved in this discussion, but then I started to get the impression that he had something to say but was afraid to say it.

“What?” I asked him, somewhat accusingly.

Both Chad and Clark looked at me in surprise. “What do you have to say, Clark?” I asked. “It's clear there's something.”

“It's nothing,” he mumbled, clearly lying. I leveled him with a glare until he spoke again. “It's just that Mom said there was no pediatrician in Smallville. I don't know if they have a residency program there, but I would imagine they'd welcome the help.”

I didn't ease my glare. Did Clark have to have a solution?

“I hadn't thought of that,” Chad said. I guess he caught my look as he sounded a lot less excited about it than I would have expected.

“Look, I don't want to get involved in the middle of things,” Clark said, “but I know how hard a long distance relationship can be. Not just the constantly missing each other, but the fighting and stuff.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

Clark shrugged, “When Rach and I started trying the long distance thing, we fought all the time. When we were apart we fought because we missed each other, and when we were together we fought "cause it was hard to deal with suddenly having another person around. Silly things, but like not being able to eat dinner whenever you want.”

I hadn't thought about that. If Chad made this work, I would be single again, or sort of. I could enjoy all those things Lucy was always going on about. I could see how I might miss some of it when Chad came back. But… “But wasn't it better to be together than apart even if you had to wait to eat until Rachel was hungry, too?” I voiced my thought.

Clark nodded. “Definitely. Doesn't mean we didn't fight about it anyway. I mean, ideally, I'd get to eat when I wanted and have Rachel around, right?” Clark smiled. “Anyway, my point is, I know this is hard. But I think I could help to make it easier for you.”

“How?” I asked.

“Well, for starters, if you can get a position in Smallville, I think I could find someplace for you to live without having a lease,” Clark said.

“Where?” Chad asked.

“There's a cottage like thing on my parents farm. It used to belong to my grandparents and my parents have been asking me to fix it up for years, but I keep forgetting. It doesn't really need much work and I could probably finish it up in an afternoon. Anyway, my parents would be thrilled to have it fixed up even if it meant having someone else live in it for a while. It's not like they really need it. Mom just wants it fixed up as it's a bit of an eye sore.”

“That would be perfect,” I admitted. I bet the Kents wouldn't charge much rent either.

“And,” Clark said, “there's another benefit to Smallville.”

“What's that?” Chad asked.

“Well, the farm is pretty secluded. I can land in the fields without fear of bumping into most anyone but my folks. And this means that maybe you two could see each other more often. Courtesy of Superman Express, of course,” Clark suggested.

I couldn't help it. It was possibly the best idea I'd heard since Chad had dropped this bombshell on me yesterday. I got up and gave Clark a huge hug. Okay, so maybe he was trying to find a place for Chad to go, but seriously, I did sort of want him to go. Like he said, he could go and see how much like Metropolis it really was and then he'd move back here happily.

“You are the best friend ever,” I said to Clark and Chad laughed.

“I have to agree with Lois, Clark. This is really very generous of you,” Chad said.

Clark shrugged. “It's not a big deal. Nothing I'm offering is that difficult for me. I do need to call my parents and check with them first, but I don't think it will be a problem.”

“How close to the farmhouse is the cottage?” I asked, wondering if they wouldn't really like the idea of having a boarder.

“A couple of acres,” Clark said. “You can't see one from the other.”

Now that he said it that made sense. I hadn't noticed the cottage when we visited.

“Any idea who I could call about the residency?” Chad asked.

“I can ask Mom for the name of that doctor she said was seeing all the kids now. That would be the right place to start, right?” Clark asked.

Chad shrugged. “I guess if anyone would know, it would be him.”

“Could you call her right now?” I asked. I knew I was being impatient, but part of what bothered me about this whole thing was feeling like my whole life was up in the air. If we could start to get this Smallville thing settled… I would definitely feel a lot better.

“Maybe he should do it from home,” Chad suggested. “If Martha and Jonathan want to say no, they may not feel comfortable knowing we're here.”

Clark laughed. “Trust me, if Mom wants to say no, you'll know it.”

He moved over to our phone and dialed. “Hi, Dad,” he said a moment later.

“No, nothing's really happened since we talked earlier, but I had a question for you and Mom. Sure.”

He moved the phone away from his mouth to tell us, “He's getting Mom.” A moment later, he turned back to the phone conversation.

“So, I was wondering how you guys would feel about me finally fixing up Nana and Papa's place?” he asked them.

Chad came over to put his arms around me. “Does this sound okay to you?” he asked, and I nodded my head.

“Well, there would be a price to pay,” I heard Clark tell his parents. “A boarder for a little while.” Clark flushed slightly. “Um… no. Actually, Chad.”

I could tell Clark was feeling flustered for some reason, but I couldn't tell what his parents were saying about Chad staying in the cottage.

“Just for a few months, I think. She's okay,” Clark said cautiously. “But Chad's always wanted to practice in a small town and just wants to see what it's like.”

A few minutes later, he got off the phone.

“So?” Chad asked, holding me tightly from behind.

Clark smiled. “They'd be happy to have you stay there. Mom said no rent, but you'd be responsible for anything the cottage needed after I fix it up and maybe a few other random chores around the farm.”

“No rent?” I asked.

“Nope. They don't need the money and Chad isn't going to stay there long, probably. Right?” he asked.

“Right,” Chad said, giving me a squeeze.

“So, it's not like the place is going to need a ton of work after he leaves, so they don't really care,” Clark said.

“So, they're really okay with that?” Chad asked.

Clark smiled. “Well, when I first said something about a boarder, my Mom thought I was moving home, so I think they may have been a little disappointed, but…”

“I'm sorry, Clark,” I said and I was. I worried that he thought he was letting them down.

“Don't be,” Clark smiled. “Mom was about to give me a lecture on being strong and sticking it out here. They want me to be happy. I think Dad would love it if what made me happy was running the farm, but he's not upset that it doesn't.”

I smiled. “You're lucky.”

“I know,” Clark smiled back. “Oh, and Mom gave me the name and number of that doctor,” Clark said, pulling the top piece of paper off the pad we kept near the phone. “Dr. Skeptel,” he said as he passed the paper to Chad.

“Great,” Chad said. “I'll call him tomorrow.”