From Part 1:
She recognized that Lex did suffer from a need for control. But that was to be expected for a man so successful in business. Plus Lois was confident in her own inner strength. There was no way she would accept anything less than a relationship between equals. Lex may have some control issues, but Lois Lane was more than up to the task. Clark was being unjustly paranoid.
With her thoughts running hopelessly in circles, she gave up and threw the car into gear and drove off. <I'm not going to think about Clark anymore. Thinking about him is just driving me crazy. If he doesn't want to have anything to do with me, then that's just fine! Good riddance!>
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Now Part 2:
When Clark came in the front door, he realized no one else was there. He was relieved since he didn't think he could really face anyone. He plunked himself down on the couch, sitting yoga style and putting his hands under his chin. Once more, Lois' face came prominently into focus in his mind. He simply couldn't stop thinking about her. She looked so beautiful, but so unobtainable when he had seen her just hours before. He wanted so much to hold her, to touch her, to kiss her. But she wasn’t his. She never would be.
Their last argument ripped a hole in his soul he didn’t think could ever heal. He regretted that their last words together were vicious words spoken in anger. He regretted losing control of his temper, but Lois was the only person he’d ever encountered who could drive him to ecstasy one minute just by smiling at him while in the next minute frustrating him to the limits of his endurance and beyond. He thought about saying goodbye to her but wasn’t sure if he could handle the encounter without breaking down. Maybe he could just leave a message. He laughed at the irony. Superman was such a coward.
A little more than a day was all he had left. After that, he would leave the city he loved forever, at least as Clark. Superman couldn't very well leave at the same time. So he'd have to keep up the illusion that Superman was still in the city, at least for a little while. After a few weeks, he could gradually phase out his appearances in Metropolis.
Maybe he should give a press conference and tell Metropolis that he was needed elsewhere. That would work. But he'd have to put some time between Clark's disappearance and Superman's departure. He couldn't have anyone link the two of his identities together, especially Lois who knew him better than anyone. It was too dangerous for her to know given her ties to Luthor.
Luthor. Every time he thought of Lois and Luthor together, he'd get sick to his stomach. He’d get angry and jealous. He pictured Lois walking down the aisle towards the other man with that beautiful smile on her face. He’d see her vowing her undying love and fidelity to Luthor while he grinned like a Cheshire Cat. Then he thought of Luthor undressing her on their honeymoon night and then...
Forcing those horrible thoughts from his head, he then pictured himself as the one Lois was approaching; himself as the one she was about to make love with; the one to whom she said, "I love you..." He shook his head to clear it. Horribly depressed, he knew he had no right to think of her in those ways. She belonged to another man, a man he despised at that. In just a little over a day’s time, she would be beyond his reach forever, if she hadn’t always been. For his own self-preservation, he had to stop thinking about her. How?
He was just kidding himself. Why had he ever thought that someone could love him? He saw the endless days stretching before him, alone and unloved. Maybe he should just leave now, forgetting he had ever come to Metropolis. He could always build himself a cave somewhere in the Arctic and spend the rest of his existence alone and separate from the human race, coming out only for the occasional rescue.
When he first came to this city, he thought he had found happiness for once as Clark Kent. Meeting Lois made him feel like he belonged, like he had found his home. He didn’t feel that way anymore. He wanted to run as far away and as fast as he could away from here.
Now, he found himself seriously thinking of being Superman full-time. Superman just didn’t have time for a private life, a private life full of suffering. Maybe it was time Clark Kent disappeared forever? No one would miss him. Maybe it just wasn’t his destiny to find happiness?
He chuckled to himself. Lois was right. All this time, he had been disappointed in her for losing faith in love. Ironically it was Lois, herself, who had taught Clark a bitter lesson about love. It was he who had been so naïve, so innocent. Love may exist for a select few. His parents had it, he was glad. But love wasn’t meant for him. Being in love just meant getting hurt. Loving Lois had merely been a setup for the biggest heartbreak of his life. It would be a long time, if ever, before he could open his heart again because if this is how it felt to be in love, he wanted no part of it. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed, curl up into a ball, and cry like a baby over the loss of his dreams and the loss of his innocence.
Gradually, he noticed the light blinking on his answering machine, distracting him from his maudlin thoughts. Maybe Perry or Jimmy had left him a message. Hitting the playback button, he was surprised to hear a woman's voice identifying herself as Lex Luthor's assistant. She asked if he could get a hold of Superman since Lex needed to talk to both of them about Lois.
His first instinct was that it was a trap. He dismissed that, thinking <I'm Superman. What could Luthor do to me besides rip my heart right out of my ribcage and stomp on it on the floor?>(*) he thought sardonically. No, it was Lois who had done that, not Luthor.
Curiosity got the better of him as he spun into the suit and flew out of his apartment. Arriving minutes later at the LexCorp building he was met by Luthor's assistant, who introduced herself as Mrs. Cox. She led him to an elevator that took the two of them down to a wine cellar. Luthor was there, sampling wines from barrels lining the walls.
"Oh there you are Superman. Thank you for coming."
"What do you want, Luthor?"
Luthor ignored his question. "Where is Kent? I asked to see him, too."
"He couldn’t make it. Now is there something you want or are you just wasting my time?" Clark spat out angrily.
Lex watched as Superman came closer to him. "Yes, I want you to die." Lex then turned the handle on one of the wine barrels, causing a cage to drop down around Clark. For a brief second, Clark felt fear for an unknown reason. But that made no sense. Surely Luthor knew that a cage couldn't hold him. He shook his head.
Clark started to say, "Bars won’t hold..." Then the pain hit.
<Oh no,> Clark thought, too late seeing the bright, green glow of the bars. <Kryptonite.> He collapsed, his red cape falling over him and covering his head. He rolled around on the floor in agony. Then the pain lessened slightly as the glow on the bars dimmed a little. Apparently, Luthor wanted to torture him before killing him. He had to get out of there, but the waves of agony distracted him from any coherent thought.
Luthor stared down at him as he writhed on the floor. "It’s too bad Kent wasn’t here so I could have taken care of both of you at once. But it won’t be hard to find him and eliminate him. You two are the last links my Lois has to her past life, a life that I’ve worked so hard to separate from her, leaving only me to console her and comfort her.
"My plans are working out wonderfully, as they always do. I'll soon be married to Lois Lane, and she’ll be spending every night in my bed doing her best to please me, and you and that giblet, Kent, will be dead. I do look forward to taming her and breaking that independent streak of hers. That will be my ultimate pleasure.
"I'm tempted to leave you alive so you could watch me break her. But no. The thought of seeing how Lois reacts to news of your death while on our honeymoon is just too irresistible. It'll just double my pleasure when Kent's body is found next to yours." Luthor's expression changed to one of maniacal glee as he concluded, "My poor Lois will need someone to help her through her grief." He paused to savor his thoughts.
"Well, I'd love to stay and watch, but I have a wedding to prepare for. Plus I have things to do, people to kill. I'll look in on you from time to time to make sure you're still uncomfortable."
He ran up the stairs, pausing momentarily to swipe a thumb across the blade of an axe hanging on the wall but jerked it back as it cut him. He stuck his thumb in his mouth, turned to Superman, and waved. "Have a nice death!" And then he walked out of the cellar.
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It seemed like days later. He didn't know. He'd been hurting for so long, mentally and physically, that he couldn’t remember a time he wasn’t in pain. Despair washed over him. Luthor was going to win. He couldn't think of a way to get out of the cage. The wedding was going to happen soon. Or maybe it was already over. He didn't know. His usual sense of time was gone along with his powers.
His mind drifted back to Lois. He imagined her married to Luthor. He thought of what Luthor would do to her if she ever found out his real character. Or he imagined them together on their wedding night, her head pillowed on Luthor's chest. The rising bile forced him to block that thought out of his mind quickly. The worst thoughts were of Lois broken, her fiery spirit gone forever, and her eyes dull and lifeless.
Their last meeting came to mind, how he had fled from Luthor's car. It occurred to him that that was probably the last time he would ever see her. He wasn't going to make it past tomorrow. Regret flooded through him. Regret that things he wanted to say to her would be left unsaid. Regret that they had parted on such angry terms. Regret that he didn’t use Superman to warn Lois about Luthor and couldn’t save her from her fate. Regret that he couldn't even say goodbye. Maybe it was best that he die here. It saved him from the horror of seeing her in Luthor's arms.
Another wave of agony hit. As he faded into unconsciousness, he mumbled, "Goodbye, Lois. I love you."
**********************************************
Inside the dressing room, Lois put in the final pins in her wedding dress. Straightening up, she looked at herself in the mirror. Tear tracks showed clearly on her cheeks. Why was she still so unhappy? It was her wedding day. She should be deliriously happy, looking forward to the upcoming ceremony. Instead she kept feeling that she was making a terrible mistake.
<Stop it, Lois,> she said to herself. <You're getting married today. This should be the happiest day of your life.> She stared at herself in the mirror, strengthening her resolve, but somehow unable to convince herself.
"Ten minutes, Mrs. Luthor," came a voice from out in the hall.
Lois steeled herself, preparing to leave the room. That name triggered memories of the last argument she'd had with Clark, as she remembered how Clark foreshadowed the imminent loss of her identity if she married Lex. "Mrs. Luthor," she murmured to herself, frowning. "Mrs. Lex Luthor." It still didn't sound right. "Lois Lane-Luthor." Nope. "Lois Luthor-Lane." She shook her head slightly.
"Lois Lane-Kent" slipped from her mouth, shocking her.
<Oh my god,> she thought to herself. <Where did that come from?>
Memories of times she had spent with Clark came to the forefront of her thoughts. She remembered the kisses they had shared over the last year. Their first kiss was when Trask was about to throw both of them out of an airplane. Though the kiss was pure subterfuge, the impact of the kiss was something she had denied for all this time. Heat rose in her cheeks at the memory.
The kiss they had shared when Clark had left Metropolis during the heat wave floated through her mind. While not passionate, that kiss had still affected her greatly because of its poignant sweetness. She remembered the heartbreaking sadness she had felt when she thought Clark was gone for good and the joy she had felt upon his return.
Then she recalled the passion of their kiss just before the maid had interrupted them during their stakeout at the Lexor Hotel. She’d become lost in that kiss before she realized the maid had entered the room.
Then she recalled that fateful morning on the floor of her kitchen when Clark had saved her from Sebastian Finn, how she felt safe and loved. Suddenly, she knew. She loved Clark. For a moment she felt a surge of joy as her feelings were finally clear, and with it came a feeling of freedom. But then depression crashed down on her. It was too late. She had had her chance with Clark and she had blown it. Clark wanted nothing to do with her.
"Lois Lane," she cried out loud, tears falling unrestrained, knowing that without Clark, she would remain alone for the rest of her life.
At the sound of her crying, Ellen Lane came quickly to her side. "Oh honey, if you're not sure...?"
"It's too late," wailed Lois. It occurred to her that her mother would think she was referring to canceling the wedding, rather than the loss of her best friend, the man she loved.
"No it isn't. You do what your heart tells you to do," her mother advised.
Lois was stunned. She suddenly knew what her heart wanted. She wanted her best friend. She wanted Clark. She loved him. How could she have rejected him for someone who did nothing for her physically or emotionally? Why had it taken her so long to know what she was feeling? Why did she never know what she really wanted until it was too late?
In the time following her last conversation with Clark in the convertible, she’d been brooding about what she had lost, thinking about the good times in her past which were gone forever. Most of those good times were spent in the company of her partner and best friend. She remembered all those times when they had shared a pizza at his place while watching Lethal Weapon for the zillionth time. She remembered all the long conversations about politics and current affairs they would have over the telephone or during lunch. She thought of their friendly arguments over the myriad of stories they had investigated over the last year. And she remembered how safe she always felt when enveloped in his arms, whether it was just cuddling on Clark’s couch (definitely not on the backbreakers in her apartment) or when Clark had saved her from a killer. He was the only person she had ever truly felt comfortable with. But it wasn’t until now that she admitted to herself what her true feelings were. It couldn’t possibly be too late. She had to find him.
She grabbed the car keys from her purse and rushed out of the room, headed for the elevator. It didn't even occur to her that two hundred people were waiting for her at the chapel. When the elevator door opened, she threw down her headpiece and veil and raced through the door. Once in the parking garage, she picked up her skirts and headed for her borrowed convertible. As she climbed in and started the engine, she had a stray thought. <I need to get my own car. A Jeep would be nice.>
The convertible sped through the streets of Metropolis, nearly causing several accidents. Within fifteen minutes, the car pulled up in front of 344 Clinton Street and screeched to a halt. Passersby watched as a woman in a wedding dress climbed out in a terrible hurry, nearly tripping over her own skirts, ran to the door and started banging loudly. "Clark!" she yelled as she banged on the door again and again. After several minutes, she stopped banging and slumped to the ground weeping. There was no answer. He wasn't home.
After a moment, her head came up. Maybe Clark went to her wedding? Lex! She had completely forgotten her own wedding. It would have already started by now if she had been there. What would Lex think of her? Even if she wanted to break off their engagement, leaving him stranded at the altar was unforgivably rude. She slowly picked herself off the front porch, lifted her skirts carefully, and ran to the car. Jumping in, she revved the engine and went barreling back to the LexCorp building hoping against hope that she would find Clark there waiting for her.
She was shocked at what she found when she arrived back at the site of her wedding. Police cars were everywhere and SWAT team members bearing automatic rifles were present in force. What was going on? She frantically looked around, trying to locate someone she knew. Finally, she spotted Perry White and ran over to where he was standing, near the entrance to the tall building.
"Perry! What's going on here?"
"Lois! Thank The King you're safe. Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you. We thought something bad had happened to you." Perry opened his arms and gave her a big hug.
"I had to leave. I went to find Clark. I couldn’t find him so I came back here. Do you know where he is?"
Perry's face darkened a bit. "I don't know, honey. We haven't seen Clark since the day before yesterday. We've been staying at his place and were expecting him to be back by now."
Fear hit Lois hard. "Where was he when you last heard from him?"
She was interrupted by a loud sound from the crowd. She heard someone yell about someone about to jump. Her head automatically looked upwards towards the top of the LexCorp building. In shock, she saw Lex standing on the wall of his balcony, waving his arms. Then he suddenly jumped. Perry grabbed her and pulled her head down to his shoulder. Lois closed her eyes tightly, fearing what she knew would come next. A moment later, they all heard a terrifying thud.
"Perry, what's going on?" Lois whispered without picking up her head from his shoulder. "Why did Lex jump?"
"Lois, a few of us have been looking for evidence on who was responsible for crippling the Daily Planet financially and who bombed it. We discovered that Lex was guilty of both. First he paid off advertisers, bankers, and vendors to jump ship and then sabotaged our distributors to depress our bottom line and the stock price. He then bribed the board to sell the paper to him at bargain basement prices. Then he pocketed a cool $75 million from extra insurance policies he hid from everyone after he blew up the paper. We went to Henderson with our evidence and then came here to arrest him. It looks like Lex killed himself rather than go to prison."
Lois' legs collapsed from underneath her. If it wasn't for Perry, she would have taken a large spill. Instead, Perry gently lowered her to the ground and then sat down beside her on the sidewalk.
"Are you OK, Lois?" Lois didn't respond. Rather, she just sat looking shocked. Lois's thoughts were completely jumbled. First Clark was missing. Now Lex was dead. She scolded herself for being such a fool. <Clark was right. How could I have misjudged everyone so badly?> she told herself. Aloud she said, "I've always been such a good judge of character. Nothing feels right anymore. What else could possibly go wrong?"
An indeterminate time passed while she continued to berate herself silently. It could have been a minute or it could have been an hour. She didn’t know. The sound of a throat clearing interrupted her thoughts. It was Inspector Bill Henderson. Reluctantly, Henderson addressed his comments to Perry. "Uh, Perry, I'd like you to take a look at something we've found."
"What is it, Henderson?" interrupted Lois.
Henderson eyed Lois with a raised brow and said in a sardonic voice, "You’ve changed, Perry. You look good in a dress. White is your color though I think burgundy suits you better." In a more serious tone he said, "I'm not sure it's something you should see, Lois. I think maybe Perry should see this alone."
Curiosity overrode everything else as Mad Dog Lane made a brief appearance. "Whatever it is, don't you think I can handle it?"
"Actually..."
"Let's go!" exclaimed Lois. "Well, Henderson? What are you waiting for? Lead on."
With a shrug, Inspector Henderson led them inside the LexCorp building and headed for an elevator. Lois and Perry followed him inside. Henderson pressed a button inside the elevator, which caused the elevator to move downward. After a seemingly interminable time, the elevator stopped and opened. After walking down a long corridor, they came to a large steel door that resembled a bank vault that stood open. Inside was a room Lois recognized as Lex's wine cellar, a place she had visited once before. The room was teeming with police. Flashbulbs from cameras were going off intermittently. A dim glow drew Lois' eyes over to what appeared to be a cage. Oddly, the bars glowed green. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she noticed something inside the cage. With an indrawn breath, a hand involuntarily went up to her mouth as she recognized what was inside.
It was a very familiar red, blue, and yellow uniform. She ran up to the cage, but stopped suddenly. The uniform was there, but there was no body. Panicking, Lois asked, "Where is he?"
Henderson merely replied, "This is exactly how we found everything. The suit was there with a white cummerbund lying next to it. The cage door was closed. And we found this axe smashed through this barrel. Inside the barrel was a key that fit the lock. I couldn't even begin to tell you what happened here. I wanted Perry to see this because the people at the Daily Planet were the closest thing Superman had to a friend. At least as far as anyone could tell."
"A green glow," Lois muttered under her breath. There was something familiar about that. The fear started to grow as realization struck. "Oh, no. Kryptonite! It's real!" Louder, she exclaimed, "We've got to look for him. He may be dying!"
"Hold on a minute, Lois," interjected Henderson. "You seem to know what this green stuff is. From what you're saying, this stuff can kill Superman?"
"Is that what I think it is, Lois?" asked Perry. "Is this that stuff you wrote about after you and Clark came back from Kansas a few months back? Is this that stuff Trask was after, but you weren't even sure existed? I think you called it kryptonite."
Lois nodded. With fear in her eyes, she began dashing around the room looking for clues of the Man of Steel’s whereabouts. Henderson spoke up. "We've already looked all around this area. We haven't found anything or anyone. We have dusted for fingerprints. It seems like the axe handle has one set of fingerprints all over it. We’re having them analyzed to tell who they belong to."
"Was there any blood on it?" Lois asked in a shaky tone.
"There was a small trace of blood, but we don’t know whose blood it is. Then again, we don't even know if Superman has any blood to speak of, or whether Kryptonians leave a body behind when they die." To Perry, he said, "Perry, it might be a good idea if you took Lane home now. In the shape she's in, I don't think she'll do any of us any good right now."
"No, I can't leave! I've got to find Clark and Superman. We've got to find them! I’ll organize a search party. I’ll find everybody I knew at the Planet and go scouring the city. Clark warned me about this, but I didn’t listen. Why didn’t I listen to him? I should have. I’m just so stubborn. I always have to be right. Why couldn’t I have been right this time? They’d both be safe now if I was right. But Clark was right and now they’re missing. It’s all my fault. We have to find them. We’ve got to..." Lois' voice rose to near hysterics. "Please be okay," she said as her voice dropped to a whisper as she aborted her tirade in mid-babble.
A horrible feeling of dread settled in the pit of her stomach. She couldn't have lost both of them all in one day. This was quickly turning into the worst day of her life. Clark was missing. Superman was missing and possibly dead. And in the back of her mind, she realized she hadn't even thought about her dead fiancé. She felt a small bit of relief that she hadn't actually married Lex. But those thoughts quickly turned back to the two missing men.
Where were they? Lex couldn't have killed them, could he? Not knowing what to do, she sat down heavily on an unbroken wine barrel and started chewing on a fingernail. <Where are you, Clark? Where are you, Superman? What if Lex killed them because of me? I know he was jealous of both of them. Oh, Clark. Just when I find out how much you mean to me, I can’t find you. If you died without ever knowing...> she thought. The sinking feeling in her stomach got worse with each passing moment. She began to cry with great tearing sobs.
"What have I done to you, Clark?" she moaned quietly. "I didn't listen to you. I refused to listen to anything you said. You were right about everything. And you and Superman paid the price for my stubbornness."
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tbc...
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Footnotes: (*)
* The phrase, "rip my heart right out of my ribcage and stomp on it on the floor," used when Clark is deciding whether visiting Luthor would be a trap, is adapted from a Weird Al Yankovic song, "One More Minute." That song is absolutely hilarious, so I just had to put the phrase in this story. The actual quote is, "I'd rather rip my heart right out of my ribcage with my bare hands and then throw it on the floor and stomp on it till I die, than spend one more minute with you." In a way, it's appropriate for this story.
