Thanks as always to Carol, Kelly, and Beth for all their help! And thank you to all of you who stuck it out with me given the somewhat unconventional premise. I hope the end result was worth it.
From Chapter 36
I couldn't have picked a better person for Chad, and I was happy that he was moving on, but that didn't mean it wasn't a little sad to see the last small part of this relationship pass.
I was only outside for a second before I heard the door open and close softly behind me. I didn't bother turning around, and within seconds, Clark moved in front of me and wrapped me in his arms.
“Are you okay?” he asked me softly.
“Yeah,” I sniffed against his chest. “I am. I really am. It's just…”
“What?” Clark asked, tilting my head up to look at him with a finger under my chin.
“It's really over,” I whispered.
Clark nodded, pulling me close to him again. “I know. I'm sorry.”
“I'm not,” I said. “We had to get here. I want him to be happy again. I do. And I think Rachel is going to do that. Or is already doing that. It's just… I guess I hadn't even realized it wasn't over yet.”
“Are you ready for it to be over?” Clark asked me softly.
“I am,” I said, moving away from him to brush my tears away. “I really am.”
Chapter 37
I zipped up my small suitcase for moving to the Kent farm for the night, looking around the guest room with a smile. Chad and Rachel had seemed concerned when I came back in, but I had assured them that I was fine. I had told them what I had told Clark, and while it took awhile, eventually, we moved past it and the evening got more comfortable.
So comfortable, in fact, that when we went for a walk after dinner so Rachel could check on preparations for the fireworks, at some point Chad and Rachel forgot I was there, or remembered and decided it didn't matter. Regardless, they held hands. It was weird to see Chad holding someone else's hand, but then again, it wasn't really. I had to admit that the sight made me smile. I wondered how long they'd be together, and I realized that I hoped it would be a long time. I liked Chad with Rachel. He was my Chad and yet he wasn't. He was himself with her in a way I hadn't seen him with anyone else and yet there were parts of him that I didn't quite recognize. They laughed over shared memories that I didn't share. They made references to people in Smallville that I hadn't met or didn't remember.
They were quite simply being a couple in love. Surprisingly, it made me happy to
see that.
We had had lunch at Chad's the following day and his house was everything I had sort of hoped it would be. It wasn't changed so much that I walked inside and didn't recognize it, and yet, it wasn't my home anymore. There were small changes, like new books on the bookshelf or a new tape player in the entertainment center. But larger changes, too. Chad had redecorated since I had lived there. Nothing major, so it wasn't surprising to me that he hadn't mentioned it, but he had moved the piano to the other side of the living room and repainted the walls a different shade of green with a darker green accent.
Looking around, I guessed that Chad may have made the changes himself, but Rachel had helped, even if it was just to give her opinion. Something about the changes made me think of her, although the green color was one I knew Chad loved. I suspected that the next time I visited, I'd see much more of Rachel's influence, though.
Other than lunch, we had spent the day at the fair grounds. Martha and Jonathan were there as always, serving pies, candies, and barbequed meat.
“Want to take a spin?” Clark asked me as we passed the dance floor. Rachel had left to go check on the fireworks and Chad had gone with her, so for the moment, it was just Clark and me.
“Sure,” I said, grabbing his hand and moving towards the dance floor.
“You're feeling okay about Chad and Rachel?” Clark asked as he twirled me around.
I nodded. “I am. I'm happy for them. They seem perfect for each other. Don't you think?”
“I do,” Clark said. “I really do. I think Chad can give Rachel everything I couldn't, and I think she sees that even if she hasn't thought of it in that way yet.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I think they're really happy.”
“And you?” Clark asked me. “Are you really happy?”
I smiled at him. “Yes, I am happy. Although, you know what I'd like right now?”
“What?” Clark asked, his eyes twinkling in laughter as he anticipated my answer. I'm sure he was thinking I was going to say I'd like one of his mother's buck-eye balls, but that wasn't it at all.
“I'd like to stop thinking about Chad and Rachel for a moment and just enjoy dancing with you.”
Clark's smile got just a tad wider and something indefinable crossed his face as he spun me into his arms. “Well,” he said, his voice right in my ear, “that can easily be arranged.”
************************
“The fireworks just seem to get better every year,” Martha commented as we piled into their car that night.
“I think you're right,” I said, thinking that they continued to be better than any fireworks I'd seen in Metropolis.
“You two must be tired,” Jonathan said as he navigated through all the cars making their way away from the fireworks.
“I'm okay,” Clark said.
“Of course you are,” I laughed. “You barely need sleep.”
“Does that mean you're tired?” he asked me.
“A little,” I said. It was late. We'd waited for Chad and Rachel to come back from where they had watched the fireworks and then the six of us had walked around the booths some more, or the few that were still open. Martha and Jonathan had closed up beforehand, but lots of other people had stayed open.
“Well, we have Clark's old bed all made up for you,” Martha said.
“One day I'm going to come visit and get to sleep in my own bed,” Clark grumbled good-naturedly.
“And where did you sleep when you were here last month, young man?” Martha asked him.
“That was different,” Clark said, turning to look at me. “Lois wasn't here.”
“And you want me to come and sleep on the couch?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Yes,” Clark surprised me by saying. He laughed at the look on my face. “Okay. Maybe not.”
I leaned over and smacked him lightly as Jonathan pulled up to the farm house. We piled out of the car and inside where, true to form, the house had all the smells from Martha's baking.
“You know,” Jonathan said with a smile in his wife's direction. “I think I could go for one more piece of pie before bed.”
“Oh, do you have a peach pie here, Martha?” I asked.
She placed a hand on my arm. “Of course I do. And a stash of buck-eye balls.”
Clark got glasses and poured us all milk – buttermilk for his parents and himself, but he'd long ago figured out that I preferred regular milk. Meanwhile, Martha dished out pie and I snagged a buck-eye ball from the bag she pointed out.
We sat around the table, quietly eating the pie for a few moments.
“Your last story was wonderful,” Martha said as she finished her pie. “I know it's not the harder stuff you prefer,” she smiled at me, “but it was great.”
“As you can guess,” I said, “Clark did most of the work on the theater article. I barely deserved the byline.”
“Not true,” Clark said. “You were the one who dragged me there.”
I laughed. “Only "cause Perry ordered me to cover it and I knew I could get you to do most of the work if I made you come with me.”
We all laughed as we got up to put the plates in the dishwasher. “We'll wake you up about a half hour before we leave for the Festival?” Martha asked me as we got to the top of the stairs.
“Please,” I said before heading into Clark's room.
I was snuggled in his bed less than five minutes later, feeling myself drift off to sleep.
************************
I woke up with a yawn two weeks later. It had been a busy two weeks.
The morning of the kite contest Jonathan had put his back out doing morning chores. We had spent the day at the hospital and overall he was okay, but needed to stay off his back for a few weeks.
Clark had offered to spend the time in Smallville to help out and was supposed to fly me back to Metropolis the following morning. When I had woken up though, it was chaos around the farm and I realized that with Jonathan injured, Martha was trying to care for him and do her own chores.
I suggested I wait to go back until things were calmer, but spending the morning there I had realized quickly that I needed to stay. Martha was quickly running herself ragged and with all the favors she had done for me, I owed her. I wasn't much use at cooking, but I could clean the barn out pretty well. I had lots of unused vacation days anyway. I hadn't taken a proper vacation since I had returned from my brief stint at the Smallville Press.
It was a good idea and I was glad to do it, but it was amazing to me how much Martha worked. Even without taking on the cooking, I was wiped out at the end of every day from doing her chores. Rachel and Chad both came by to help as often as they could, and Clark used his abilities whenever possible to move through his stuff faster and help me, but we still put in a full day's work every day.
“Morning,” Clark called as he passed me on the stairs.
“How do they do this every day?” I asked him as I started towards the bathroom. I asked him this question every day and always got the same answer, but couldn't stop being surprised by how much his parents did a day.
“They love the farm,” Clark said, as he always did. “Mom has pancakes ready downstairs whenever you're ready.”
I groaned as I closed the bathroom door. I was looking forward to Jonathan's making a recovery so we could go home. Investigative reporting was a vacation compared to this. Still, I thought the only person who wished things would go back to normal more than me was Jonathan. Clark was right – he loved the farm and it was clear that he missed working on it every day he was stuck inside.
My thought was confirmed when I came downstairs. Jonathan was sitting at the table, not enjoying his pancakes as much as normal.
“I bet you'll be glad to get back to Metropolis,” he said as I sat down.
“Not as much as you'll be glad to be outside working again,” I replied.
“Maybe not,” Jonathan said with a sigh. “We really appreciate your staying and helping, Lois.”
“It's not a problem,” I told him. “Really. I'm glad I can help.”
************************
“Thank you for staying,” Clark echoed his father's thanks from that morning while we took a walk around the farm that evening.
“You know I'm happy to,” I said in reply. “Your parents have done so much for me.”
“Well, the thank you was from me. Not my parents,” Clark said. “I love the farm, but I like it better when you're here.”
“Even though you don't get your bed?” I asked him.
“Even though I don't get my bed,” Clark replied, chuckling.
“If I'd gone back to Metropolis, I would have missed you, too,” I told him.
We stopped beside the pond and looked out across the still water. “Lois,” Clark said quietly. “I've been thinking.”
“About what?” I asked, surprised by the serious tone to his voice.
“Chad and Rachel,” he said.
“Are you not okay with them being together anymore?” I asked, surprised. Not that I imagined Clark would say anything to them even if it did bother him, but I couldn't believe that it did. I had gotten used to seeing them holding hands and I'd even come across them kissing, a gentle peck only, once when they were here in the evening. So it was hard to imagine Clark was bothered.
“That wasn't what I was thinking about,” Clark said, his voice nearly a whisper as he moved to stand in front of me and took my hands.
“Then what?” I asked, looking up into his eyes. Daylight was fading, but standing this close, I could still see him clearly.
“You,” he said, quietly. “I'm wondering where you are.”
“Where I am?” I asked, half distracted by the look on his face. I couldn't interpret what I was seeing there.
“Have you…” Clark stopped and looked at some point above my head. “... have you thought about dating again?”
“No,” I said quickly, knowing as I said it that it wasn't true. More than once since we'd arrived I'd fallen asleep in Clark's childhood bed and wondered what it would be like to share it with him. I didn't want to admit that, though. Clark had moved on from the small crush he'd had on me and it wasn't fair of me to make him feel guilty about that. Better for him to think I just wasn't ready yet than to ask why I wasn't dating again.
Clark let go of my hands and took a step back. “Oh.”
“Clark?” I asked, still not understanding the look on his face.
He turned away from me for a second, not answering my question, and when he turned back there was an intensity in his eyes that surprised me.
“I waited for you,” Clark whispered.
“What?” I asked, confused.
“Remember at the Kerth awards. The kiss?” Clark asked.
I nodded, feeling unaccountably afraid of where this was going.
“I promised you I wouldn't wait for you,” he clarified and I took a deep breath.
“But you did?” I asked, not daring to let myself believe what I thought I was hearing.
“I didn't mean to,” he said. “I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it,” he said. Then moving forward he leaned toward me. He stopped just short of my lips and I knew he was thinking of my words from earlier about not being ready. Without thought, though, I closed the distance between us.
Minutes, hours, or maybe years later, he drew away to look at me again. “I love you, Lois. I think I always have.”
I looked into his eyes and was surprised but what I saw there. I had fallen in love at sixteen and once upon a time had thought my life lay with that boy. To some degree, it had. I had shared a wonderful life with the boy I fallen in love with at sixteen. When it ended, I had been sure that was it for me. I had had my chance at love and failed.
Looking into Clark's eyes now, though, I knew I had been wrong. What I saw there wasn't just Clark's love for me shining through his eyes, but my love for him reflected back at me. “I love you, too,” I whispered, and couldn't stop the smile from spreading across my face.
At least not until Clark wiped it away by kissing me again.
************************
“You didn't need to,” I told Martha as she held the buck-eye balls towards me a week later.
“I owe you more than that,” she said to me.
“You owe me nothing,” I told her. I could see Clark and Jonathan through the window as they came back towards the barn from their walk to the fields. “You've done so much for me over the years. This barely makes a dent in what I owe you.”
Martha shook her head. “Not true. You helped Metropolis feel like a home for Clark from the beginning. You've been a great friend to Jonathan and me since we met you. And now,” she trailed off as she glanced out the window.
“Now?” I asked, confused. I saw her looking outside towards Clark and wondered what she was going to say. As I had expected, she and Jonathan had taken finding Clark and me holding hands two nights ago in stride. Still, while I knew them well enough to know they'd never complain, I worried a little about what they thought about it. I mean, they had known me as Chad's wife for years. It must have been weird to see me with their son.
“Now you are giving Clark something he's needed for a long time,” she said, as she looked at me with tears in her eyes. “Someone to love. Someone who is strong enough for him to lean on and soft enough to appreciate him. Someone who deserves him and wants the same things in life he does.”
I felt my own tears in my eyes at her words. “You don't think it's weird?” I asked her.
“Weird?” Martha gave a small laugh. “What's weird about it? Honestly, I knew it would take time, but I had been hoping this would happen since shortly after you moved back to Metropolis.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised.
She nodded. “You are a special woman, Lois. I've loved you for a long time. And I know I'm biased, but I'd like to think that my son deserves you. I'd like to think that he can make you happy in a way you haven't really been before. I know what you had with Chad was amazing. I saw it when I first met the two of you.”
“But maybe Clark and I could be something even better,” I said softly.
Martha smiled. “Exactly.”
************************
“Are you about ready to go?” Clark asked me as we took one last walk around the farm. We were heading out in a little while, but surprisingly I wasn't that happy about it. We'd been here for three weeks and it had taken on a feeling of normalcy. I missed Metropolis, but there was something soothing about the farm. Despite how hard we'd been working, it was different enough from our regular jobs that it felt a little like a vacation.
“I guess so,” I said.
“What? You're not eager to leave the small town behind?” Clark asked me, squeezing my hand slightly.
“Well, don't get me wrong. I still don't want to live here,” I said, laughing lightly. “But it makes a nice vacation.”
Clark laughed out loud, a full laugh. “Only you would consider working twelve hours a day a vacation.”
“You know what I mean,” I said to him. “I feel… sheltered here.”
“Are you worried about going back to Metropolis?” Clark asked me. “Is it… it because of me?”
“No,” I said, stopping to look at him. “Really. It'll be weird, I guess, for people in the newsroom to realize that we're together, but I'm not worried about it.”
“Are you sure?” Clark asked me, and I could see the insecurity in his eyes. “Cause if you want, we could… I don't know, keep it to ourselves or… we could…”
“What, Clark?” I asked, tightening my grip on his hand. “Stop dating when we get back to Metropolis?”
“If that's what you want,” Clark said quietly.
“It's not what I want,” I told him, my voice firm. “And I don't feel any need to hide it from anyone either.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, but I could see already that he was feeling more relaxed. I wondered – had he been waiting for me to change my mind for the past week?
“I am very sure,” I told him, stepping closer to him. “I love you, Clark Kent. I want nothing more than to be with you.” I leaned up on my toes to kiss him.
When I broke away a moment later, I pulled back just slightly to ask, “You believe that, don't you? You don't think I'm going to change my mind?”
“Not when you kiss me like that,” Clark grinned at me.
“Like what?” I asked, giggling.
“Like this,” Clark whispered huskily as he closed the distance between us and kissed me again.
************************
A few hours later Clark was back from bringing our stuff to Metropolis and we were saying goodbye to his parents.
“I know you've probably seen more of the farm than you wanted,” Jonathan said as I hugged him goodbye, “but I hope that you'll come back with Clark when he visits next month.”
“I will,” I said, hugging him even tighter than normal. “Just take care of your back so next time I don't have to work so hard,” I smiled at him.
I hugged Martha as well, before I stepped back while Clark said goodbye to his parents. When he came to join me, I gasped. Something in his eyes… I wasn't sure what it was, but I could feel it when he lifted me into his arms. We hadn't had any reason to go anywhere, so this was the first flight we'd gone on since we had kissed. Even without the look in Clark's eyes it would have felt different. With it, it was clear that Clark knew it, too.
“Ready?” he asked, his voice husky.
I nodded and smiled at Martha and Jonathan as he floated us off the ground.
I looked down and saw Smallville stretched below us. My chest still tightened slightly when I looked down at it. I had almost made a life here. Almost. And it might have been a good life. Maybe. But it would have been the wrong life. I looked up and smiled at Clark. The life we were going back to – in Metropolis and together - was the right life.
