Hi All
Im sorry I couldnt post on Sunday. As I explained on the fdk link, I didnt have my laptop with me this weekend. So, Im combining 2 chapters in one.
I can only hope it was worth the wait.
Enjoy.
MDL.
Previously on Recollections of the Heart...
I need to get back to the hospital. Clark’s waiting for me.” She adjusted her purse and her shopping bag on her shoulder. *Right. With all those rides we keep getting from the Kents’ friends, I forgot I don’t even have a rented car here.* She damned her own stupidity. Well what was done was done and now she would need to fetch a cab on the street. She looked both ways on the main street and whistled. When she realized nothing happened, she whistled again louder. And another time. She was whistling for the fourth time when a horse stopped in front of her. She stared it dumbfounded. It was a horse drawn carriage and its conductor took his old hat off, paying his respects. “Going where, pretty lady?” she heard him say. She could only stare and tap the side of her head, wishing she would wake up. “I need a cab to take me to the hospital. My friend Clark is waiting for me there.” She explained still staring at the horse who was staring right back. “Clark? Clark Kent, right?” With a nod he continued. “You must be Lois then. Martha told me about ya. Tell ya what… I was gonna visit Jonathan anyway later, but now is just as good. Hop on!” Could she believe what was happening? Well, there were not many choices around with no cabs and Rachel gone. She climbed up tentatively and blushed to redness when Maisie came out of the restaurant and waved them goodbye. :::>Chapters 5 & 6<::: Dr Jenkins and Dr Johansson were locked inside an office, discussing the diagnosis. As much as Clark wanted to know what was going on with his father, he could not bring himself to listen to their conversation. He could see the men studying an X-ray and referring back to the ECG over and over. When he couldn’t take the pressure any longer, he excused himself and left to the parking lot for a breather. It wouldn’t take long for them to know what happened but anticipation was killing him.
“What is it, Clark?” His mom touched him, concerned.
Clark couldn’t keep it inside anymore and hugged his mom tight. “It’s not fair, mom. I save thousands a day but I’m here restrained. Impotent. And I can’t do a damn thing about it.”
“Don’t be silly, Clark. Your father will be all right. This is nothing. He will get back home in no time.”
“How can you be so sure? How can you be so calm?” He looked down to her petite figure. He had never found someone with much courage and faith combined.
“Do you love Lois?” she asked.
“What does it have to do with anything?” he asked, puzzled.
“Clark, when you love someone there are things you just know. Things you feel even when they are not said, not mentioned. You know when she is in danger, when her heart is broken and when she needs time to heal. I looked outside that window and saw your father on the grass for a reason. I just knew then as I know now he will be okay. It might take him sometime to recover, but I know he will.” she explained while holding his hands.
“I guess I know what you mean.” He replied weakly.
She pulled him close enough to kiss him on his forehead. “Have faith, Clark. That’s the one strength worth having.”
The horse drawn carriage nosed around the curb, drawing their attention. They saw their old family friend Derryl Clarkson accompanied by another familiar face covered in hay.
“You know, mom… she never ceases to amaze me.” Clark shook his head, feeling better.
:::><:::
The oldest of the Kents had been a distinguished resident of Smallville since the early thirties when his parents, Kay and Edward J Kent, moved into town from Chicago. Although he was only an occasional presence, he had actively participated in the refurbishment of their parish and volunteered to join the town committee, organizing local festivals of traditional and touristic interest.
Jonathan and his wife Martha had always lived in Smallville except for that time in 1966 that they suddenly moved away to Chicago. It was later explained that Jonathan had received an urgent telegram and was requested to personally overlook the closing down of remaining business he had inherited from his father. Although everybody missed them, the friends they left behind had to admit that the ‘change of airs’ had definitely done both well given that the couple, who were trying to have a baby for years, but never managed it, came back to town a year later with their family complete. The Kents were formidable neighbors and friends, but, most of all, they were honorable people.
A group of those old close friends now gathered around the family in the waiting room of the city hospital for support and news of their dear friend, Jonathan. Apprehension suffocated them – the doctor was due anytime now.
Mother and son breathed slowly, probably trying to hold their horses and manage a sensible state of mind. Beside them, there was Lois. She was torn between movements – she couldn’t decide if she’d rub her hands together, hold them behind her head, sit down, pace around the room, say something or be quiet. What can one do in this situation? She was just as nervous as everyone else but the sight of Clark being so still drained her nerves. “How can you be so calm?” She reproachfully poked him on the chest.
Without a word, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her close, gently placing her soft hand on his pounding chest. His heart pulsed under her hand so intensely that she could feel it resounding noisily up to her arms. He looked down with stern eyes and waited for the moment when she would raise her face to meet his. When she did with her eyes widened, he finally slipped through pressed lips. “That’s how calm I am.”
They shared the feeling of that touch and talked without words, only through their eyes, both sending each other the same message, but given the circumstances, none capturing the right one. Only the outsiders could see what they couldn’t - love being misinterpreted for friendship.
Unannounced, doctors Jenkins and Johansson entered the waiting room and paused until they had the full attention of the people there present. Mostly addressing himself to Martha and Clark, Dr Jenkins started. “Right. So we’ve finished running primary and second tests and we have already spoken to Jonathan. Well, the diagnosis is final, and the suspicion of myocardial infarction was confirmed.”
Clark held Lois’ hand tight. If he looked at her, he would have seen the agony his strong grip inflicted on her. “And what does that mean, doctor?”
Dr Johansson took his turn to clarify. “Well, on the last blood test we ran, we were looking for cardiac markers such as creatine kinase-MB and TnT…”
“Dynamite?” Lois asked startled. When all eyes looked at Lois, she blushed, faux pas noted.
“Troponin T, to be exact. It is a protein and we test its levels to evaluate the damage of the heart muscle. We have also compared with the results of the ECG and came in terms of agreement. It is a STEMI case.” Before Lois could say anything stupid again, he rushed to explain, eyes gravely fixed on her. “A STEMI case basically means that his coronary artery is blocked and therefore surgery is required. I will explain the details of the surgery later on as I am still waiting for an angiography.”
The doctors left quietly after their final blow. The stillness of their listeners, staring at each other and seeking comfort with the closest ones, muted the room. It was only when Martha finally spoke that others dared to do the same. She cleared her throat. ‘Well, now we can only pray everything goes according to plan.’
Letting go of Lois’ hand, for her silent relief, Clark rested his hand on his mom’s shoulder on an attempt to comfort her. ‘Don’t worry, mom. He will be okay.’
Martha left the room without a word to be with herself. She needed time to think about everything she had heard and absorb it in her own time. Her husband would go under the knife for a rather common type of cardiac surgery, but any surgery should be treated seriously. When Clark was about to follow her, Lois’ hand clasped on his arm stopped him.
“Let her go, Clark. She needs time alone.” Wayne added to her gesture.
:::><:::
The night was cold and damp, just how she felt on the inside. Martha was trying to cope and keep her head on her shoulders while everything around her was crumbling down. Her heart was in peace and she was positive her husband would be fine. The diagnosis had hit her, but it was far from being unexpected. Amongst the worst possible situations that was the least worrying one. Nonetheless the sense of brittleness of life, scared her.
For the first time in her life, Martha saw her lifeline thinning. There were just so many things that she wished to do, but somehow she had never taken the time. Of course it was selfish of her to think about her future when it was Jonathan lying in that hospital bed, waiting for an operation, but she had no one to fool right now and only her consciousness for company. It was indeed selfish to think about her own framed existence, but wasn’t learning how to move on the hardest thing to learn in life? If something happened to Jonathan, she knew it would not, but if it did… she would need to prepare for it.
Thirty five years, two months and twenty six days of marriage, and not one single day apart. How could she even think about going home to that empty bed and not feel her husband snoring soundly by her side? No, life was inconceivable without him. The idea brought tears to her eyes and for the first time, she cried to oblivion. Poor her, poor Clark. Her son, would do anything to his powers if he could, but how can one stop time?
Another night at the hospital, another one by her husband’s side. When we make our wedding vows, does that qualify us to take every and anything that lies ahead? When we say ‘for sickness and health’ does that actually mean we are prepared to see our life partners suffer and cope with that? They had a good run; she could not complain.
Hopefully the second round would be even better, with them finally enjoying life a bit more than waiting for the jump from the edge of eternity.
:::><:::
“We’re all leaving now, but we’re coming back later on.” Wayne Irig shook Clark’s hand.
Clark smiled and waved Wayne’s family good bye ‘What are we going to now?’ he asked the only remaining visitor, turning on his heels and towards the large window across the room. The imminent procedure his father would have to undergo was just adding to his shoulders
“Well, I don’t think it will be long for us to start filling in those forms,” Lois whined low to herself.
“What forms are you talking about?” Clark faced her quizzically.
Did she speak that loud? “Forms, Clark. Those blood donation forms. I guess even in Smallville it’s normal for the family and friends to be requested to donate blood in cases of surgeries. What blood type are you?” She explained and asked at the same time.
Clark froze. Blood type? He had never been sick before. How should he know? The first and last time he had visited the pediatrician was to take a vaccine, but when the needle bent, his parents realized they wouldn’t come back. Luckily, the doctor thought it was a fabrication defect and apologized for it. After that episode, he couldn’t recall ever going setting foot into a clinic nor his parents ever being seriously ill. Thankfully, medical procedures and hospitals were never an issue at home not even when he was a child. Somehow that subject had been overlooked by the Kents. “O negative,” he answered - the most common blood type couldn’t go wrong. “But I don’t think I can donate,” he added abruptly, not thinking about the unstoppable next question.
“And why not?” she popped straight away, eyebrows raised.
“Because, I… I…” he stuttered, searching for a plausible way out. A lame excuse wouldn’t work. This was no coffee errand or book return excuse that would save his neck and take him out of there conveniently. It needed to be an irrefutable excuse, but his brain was malfunctioning for some reason. *Think, Clark, think.* “I was in Africa before coming to Metropolis, remember? They don’t let people donate if they have been in Africa and haven’t been tested for tropical diseases,” he blurted out, not knowing if the explanation would stick.
“I see… Well, of course. It would have to be something really serious for you not to want to donate. Of course, that explains… You would not just chicken out for being afraid of the needle,” she joked, slapping his arm.
“Nope. I’m not afraid of the needle.” He smiled, half-relieved his explanation worked. *They are the ones scared of me.*
:::><:::
The blue flames coming from the old red bricked fireplace were fed by small dry wood chops Clark had prepared before coming inside when they arrived from their fifth day in the hospital. He churned the braises, preparing them for the cold night ahead. Outside, the temperature was dropping as the sun downed to its resting place, coloring the sky with shades of orange and red. The last rays of the day touched Clark’s face and a special moment in his life came to mind.
// “Look at this sunset. Isn’t it a sight, son?” Jonathan sat by the steps of the house entrance, beside his young son.
“I guess so,” he muttered.
Noticing his son’s indifference to such beauty, he understood something was wrong. “Clark, what’s the matter?”
The young Clark crossed his arms over his bent knees and rested his chin over them. “Lana broke up with me. She’s going to Princeton. She got a scholarship there.”
His son’s heart was broken, he could tell. “That went by; this may too,” he prophesized.
Clark looked up to his dad for comfort. “Do you think I should try to convince her that I will wait for her?”
“Well, son, the magic of first love is that you never think it’s going to end, but, most of the times, that’s exactly what happens. I won’t lie and say it doesn’t hurt because it does – to love someone and give up on it. But we grow from there and move on, each time trying not to make the same mistakes we did in the past. If she took this decision and broke up with you, I guess she’s telling you that she wants to move on and free you to do the same. New things are coming for you as well now that university is ‘round the corner so you shouldn’t worry too much. You go on and live your adventures until you finally find, in time, your _Mrs Kent_. Now let’s go inside before _my_ Mrs Kent tans our behinds for being late for dinner.” //
“Mrs Kent…” he mumbled, coming back to reality. “I’m worried about my mom. She hasn’t been home since the day my dad was hospitalized. Do you think she’s okay all these days practically living in the hospital?” The spoon swirled around his tea cup with a mind of its own.
“I guess. Plus, she has made it pretty clear she didn’t want you or anyone else sleeping over. I think it would be worst for her to be coming home night after night and not have your father here. I guess she’s better off there. Do you want me to call the hospital?” Lois stood supported by her arms, ready to prop her body up from the comfy two-seat sofa they shared in the farm living room.
“No, leave it. I actually think she’s okay,” he answered absentmindedly.
“How about you? Are _you_ okay?” She relaxed her arms, resting her back on the armrest of the sofa and turning her body on his direction. “Now that we know your dad will be okay and that this surgery is just a common procedure… Clark, I’m just… I’m worried about _you_. You know?” She laid a hand on his silky hair and stroked it with her fingers.
A soothing feeling came from her gesture and, within a minute, Clark’s rigid muscles gradually relaxed under her ministrations. He slowly gave her his full back until he could feel her arms pulling him softly and inviting him to rest his head on her lap. “I don’t really know how to feel right now. I’m feeling so many different things, all at the same time… I feel sad and happy, worried but relieved, lost and… found.” He reached up for her cheek and touched it softly. “Thanks for coming, Lois. Like mom said, after everything that happened to you over this month, you shouldn’t be here. I got so caught up with this whole situation that I didn’t even pay much attention to you, but without you here, I don’t think I could manage. I don’t know how to ever repay you for your friendship. I’m just glad there were no hard feelings between us.” His voice was low but heard enough.
“Nonsense, Clark. Don’t you remember your own words – friends, forever?”
He smiled sheepishly, looking up and straight into her eyes, still caressing her cheek. “I always remember the things I say. Just didn’t think for a second you kept them in mind too.”
“Nonsense again. What makes you think that I don’t listen to you?” She smiled back and covered his hand on her face with hers while continuing her nurturing.
“Well, for one, the fact that you were going to marry that crook,” he reminded her, teasingly. ‘I hate to say I told you so, but told you so I did.’
The comment triggered her defensive gibberish. “That was different. It was just a combination of many things bubbling up all at the same time. I admired Lex for his humanitarian figure and what I thought was a charming intellectual good hunk of man. But when I walked down the aisle, and you weren’t there… I realized only then that accepting his proposal and going ahead with it was just a stubborn attempt of payback to…” She fired away but her voice trailed off, regretting she even started her sentence.
“Superman.” Clark lowered his hand back to a resting position and completed her sentence with sourness.
“That was…” She wanted to protest but couldn’t. He was so right the whole time and she had been so wrong. Feeling defeated, she finally admitted. “…a mistake. You know what happened that night, don’t you?” With a nod from Clark, she continued. “Of course. You guys are friends, right? But I really regret it. It was a major stupid thick mistake. I was wrong then but I want to make it up… to him… to you... I wish I could apologize to Superman for all the things I’ve said that night and tell him… Oh, what am I saying? It’s not like it sounds, Clark. I don’t mean I want another chance with him… Do you understand what I’m trying to say? You’re an intelligent man, for heaven’s sake! I don’t want him. Can’t you understand me?”
“I wish I could, Lois…” He rose swiftly and stood up, walking towards the fireplace. He rested an arm on the shelf on top of it and let his face be lit and warmed by the blaze, his white t-shirt mirroring the shades of the flames in red, yellow and blue. “…But, under the circumstances, I don’t see how I can. If you really wanna know what I think…” He took a deep breath, carefully choosing his words this time, eyes on the fire burning like his soul. “Well, I think that he turned you down and you meant to hurt him, Lois. In the process, you also ended up hurting yourself. I think that’s what you regret. I think that, if he had succumbed to your charms, you wouldn’t be here right now, licking your wounds and lamenting about being wrong.” Bitterness poisoned his soul.
Lois opened her mouth to protest. She obviously had not made herself clear enough for him to understand what she meant. The time had come to make amendments for her wrongdoings of the past and tell him honestly and openly about her feelings towards him. Now that she had no doubts he loved her, she had been praying that the opportunity would come up so she could tell him she felt the same way. Her lips moulding her first words were stopped by the sound of the phone ringing on the coffee table, closer to Clark.
Clark answered the phone before she could worsen the situation. The caller sought information about Jonathan’s health state. After he explained his father would be having his operation after going under an angiogram and customary pre-op tests the next morning, the person offered him his best wishes. Clark thanked him for everything and hung up. He then left the room for some fresh air outside, not willing to continue hearing anything else Lois had to say.
That night, both recollected their conversation over and over, only one finally understood the truth behind it, and none slept peacefully.
TBC.
