Thanks to Carol for all of her wonderful help!
And thanks to everyone for commenting despite my lack of responses and long disappearances!
From Chapter 14
She shook her head. “It was just a fight with my dad,” she said quietly. “It was so typical, it's not even worth discussing.”
“If it made you this upset, maybe it is,” I suggested knowing those would be the words my mother would use.
Maddie sniffled before shaking her head again. “I don't really want to talk about it right now. It's not like anyone can do anything to help anyway.”
I nodded, not sure I should push more. Mom was pushy, but she was often pushy by being quiet and waiting until I was ready to come to her.
So, instead, we stayed there in silence. I brushed her hair back from her forehead, feeling at least a little better since I knew I wasn't the cause of her crying.
A half hour later, while I still had no idea what was wrong, I realized Maddie had stopped sniffling. It was hard to see her in the dim light of the room, but using my enhanced abilities – both sight and sound to hear her heartbeat - I realized she had fallen asleep.
I decided not to move – I didn't want to wake her. So, I sat there, staring at her tear stained cheeks and wondering what was wrong.
Chapter 15
I couldn't help wondering what was going on with Maddie while I did my research the next day. She hadn't told me anything more after she woke up, but then she'd barely done that. After an hour or so, she had woken up disoriented. Claiming her face was sticky with tears, she had left to go to the bathroom.
When she came back, she climbed back into bed. “Do you want me to go?” I had asked her.
She shook her head. “Will you stay here tonight?” she said instead, her voice soft and pleading.
“Of course,” I said. I didn't want to push her, but the truth was her behavior was scaring me. So once I had stretched out beside her in bed and taken her into my arms, I'd asked her again if she wanted to talk.
“Not right now, Clark,” she said, snuggling closer into my chest. “Is it okay if I just sleep some more? There's nothing you can do anyway.”
I wanted to tell her that there was something I could do – I could listen to her. I wanted to tell her what Mom always told me – that things always feel better after you talk them out. But when she looked up at me with tears in her eyes, I couldn't do it. Instead, I nodded my head, pulled her even closer to me, and let her drift off to sleep.
It meant I missed my Boy in Black duties – I had started going out on Monday and Wednesday nights looking to help rather than going when I heard about things. I found it made it easier to control how often I went. Still, maybe that was where the Boy in Black was needed most that night. It wasn't so bad really, realizing that someone needed Clark Kent.
************************
“What's up with you?” Lois asked me after class.
“Huh?” I replied, somewhat distractedly. I knew I shouldn't be obsessive, but I couldn't stop wondering what was going on with Maddie. As a result, I hadn't been quite as attentive as I could have been in class.
“Shouldn't you be on top of the world right now?” Lois asked me.
“About what?” I asked her. The truth was, I felt anything but.
Lois stopped with her hands on her hips. “You are about to secure one of two recommendations for the dream summer internship. What is with you, Clark? You know, if you're not careful, someone else might take advantage of your sudden distraction and steal that recommendation from you.
“And in case you're wondering who would do that, don't forget…”
“I'm looking at her,” I cut in with a small smile.
“Damn straight,” Lois said. “So, talk. What's going on? Did your research this morning not pan out?”
“No, it went really well,” I told her honestly. “I talked to Chad this morning and confirmed that from what he knew of medical school, you wouldn't always shove some students to the back. He's not exactly the most credible source since he's not in med school yet, but it did make me feel better. And the desk research went well, too.”
“Yeah,” Lois said. “What'd you find?”
“It looks like female students from here get placed nearly as often as the male students and I can't find any information on what the staff at the hospitals they go to think of them, but I did find that male students more often get their first choice than female students.
“It took some digging – getting placed out of school isn't quite like getting a normal job and it involves something called a "match', but I could find records of how often students get their first choice in the match. On a national level, it's pretty even for male and female students. From here, though, while it's not completely out of place, but there is a definite discrepancy.”
“That's great, Clark!” Lois said. “I mean, you had to guess it wasn't all bad. Didn't that girl say female students come here for the name?”
“Yeah. And the best evidence of all was that in the last five years, Met General has been the first choice of twenty of the students here – fifteen male students and five female. It's not too surprising that fewer female students would pick it as first choice. Anyway, of those students, ten of the male students matched, and only one female student.”
“So that means…” Lois trailed off while she tried to do the math in her head. “Two of every three male students who choose Met General as their first choice get in, but only one in five female students.”
I nodded.
“How does that compare?” she asked me and I laughed.
“It took me a minute to figure it out as well,” I said to her. “But then I figured out. Just assume three times as many female students chose it – then there would be 15 female students.”
“Same as the male students,” Lois said.
“Right. And if three times as many female students got in, that would be three.”
“Compared to ten male students,” Lois said. “I can't believe it. That's so unfair! Clark, you need to submit this story somewhere besides as a class project. I mean, this needs to be stopped.”
“So now you hope it gets picked up by the Daily Planet?” I asked her.
“I was thinking more the Star,” Lois grumbled and I laughed. “Really, Clark. This is more important than the recommendation. You're going to get that anyway and whether or not it's in the Daily Planet, if Perry White sees this it's going to help your chances.
“But think of all the female students here who are being unfairly treated. Isn't that more important than the internship?”
I put a hand on her arm to stop her. “I'll be honest, Lois. You're a better person than I thought you were. And I didn't think you were all that bad,” I said cheekily.
“Yeah, well, this is why I want to become a reporter. Rid the world of evil and all of that,” she said smiling, but her reddened cheeks gave her away. “Anyway,” she continued, pulling her arm out of my grasp and continuing on our way to the dorms, “with a story like this, what has got you so distracted?”
“Maddie,” I told her.
“Trouble in paradise?” she said, but her tone was curious rather than barbed.
“I don't think so,” I said. “I mean, I don't think the trouble is between us. Maddie's just going through something right now.”
“Is she okay?” Lois asked me.
I shrugged. “I don't really know. She's having some sort of fight with her dad, but she won't tell me what it's about. All I know is that it caused her to spend nearly all of last night in tears.”
“Should I try talking to her?” Lois asked. “Maybe she just needs another girl to talk to.”
“Would you?” I asked. I mean, Lois wasn't exactly the nurturing, motherly type, but maybe Maddie would still be willing to talk to her.
“Of course, Clark,” Lois said. “Maddie's my friend, too.”
************************
I spent the evening typing up my paper. Luckily, Steve was out visiting with one of his girlfriends as I wanted to finish this quickly, potentially look to see if anyone had a need for the Boy in Black, and then visit Maddie. Normally I would have spent the evening with Maddie, she could have come over here while I worked, but Lois had said she was going to stop by there tonight and I wanted to give them time to talk.
Besides, given all I wanted to get done tonight, having some time alone in my room seemed like a good idea. Times like this, I had to admit, while I was rarely sure what to make of them, it was useful to have these special powers. Well, sort of, anyway. As it turned out, less useful than I would have liked tonight. I had been thinking of using my speed thing to type the paper, but before I could get to that, I needed to know what to type. That required thought and while it would have been nice, I guess, I didn't think any faster than anyone else. Or at least I had no evidence that I did, anyway.
As a result, I was still sifting through my notes after I'd been in my room an hour – I'd been hoping to be out as the Boy in Black by then. With a sigh, I turned the radio on, hoping some fast paced music would help speed up my progress through these notes.
It didn't really help. The music was more distracting than anything else and I got up to turn it off just as they switched to the hourly news update. I was about to turn it off anyway when the newscaster said something that stopped me in mid-stride. “They are still recovering bodies from yesterday's derailed train just outside of Johannesburg. Authorities say that they are loosing hope of finding anyone alive at this point, but will continue to search. As the train to Cape Town is largely used by tourists, local authorities are still trying to partner with agencies that can help them send recovered bodies back to their families for proper burial. In more local news…” I turned it off.
"Losing hope… proper burial.' Apparently a train derailed in Africa yesterday and I had done nothing to help. Of course, I hadn't. Who even knew when it happened? I could have been in class, or investigating the story, or asleep. Or hanging out with my girlfriend.
She needed me last night. Even if that was what I was doing, it was okay. Wasn't it? I mean, she had needed me. On the other hand, how many people died in that train accident? Had she needed me that much? She hadn't even told me what was going on.
I sighed before doing what I knew I had to do. Spinning quickly into my black gear, I left the room. Typing the paper could wait. This evening I was needed in South Africa. Even if I had been no help yesterday, I could help them uncover the bodies tonight.
************************
I landed a couple of miles away from the train site. Around the corner there were people working and it looked like I was near one of the medic areas, but the area was wooded and no one had seen me land. Still, I thought of what Dad would say. I should have been more careful. I just… I didn't want to waste time by landing far away. I had already shown up so much later than I should have.
I ran to the site – at human speed when I was still near the medical site, but then faster when I got out of sight. Once I arrived, I looked around for someone official so I could ask how to help.
A dark skinned man approached me and asked if I was okay. I guess my white skin made him decide I would probably speak English. That was useful. I hadn't considered it before, but I wasn't even sure what the language was here, let alone have any ability to speak it.
“I'm fine,” I told him. “I just want to help. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner.”
The man gave me an inscrutable look before speaking again. “We appreciate the help, but I'm not sure what there is for you to do.”
“I thought…” I faltered. I had never done this before, at least not in this way. I had shown up for things before, helped in whatever little way I could and then left. I had never shown up after the fact and offered help to the rescue workers. Maybe this was a bad idea?
I sighed. “I heard that you were still looking for bodies. I thought that perhaps I could help,” I told the man, hating the pleading sound I could hear in my voice.
The man nodded. “This is grown up work, son,” he said. “I'm not sure…”
“Please?” I asked again. I needed to do this. I couldn't just leave.
“Okay,” the man said, although he did not sound completely happy with the decision. “But please let us know if you find this too difficult. At this point, the hope for finding people alive is very low. What you'll be finding are bodies and in some cases body parts. It isn't pretty, glamorous work.”
I nodded, although I had felt the bile rising in the back of my throat as I realized what it was I was getting myself into.
I followed him over to the train site and followed his instructions. I waited until after he felt confident that I knew what I was doing to walk away a little and used my special vision to find people faster.
************************
“Clark?” Mom's voice came from the stairs, but I didn't answer her. She came fully into the kitchen and walked over to me. “Clark, what's wrong?” I still said nothing.
“Martha, I'm going to see if the wheat survived the storm last night,” Dad said as he came down the stairs. “Why are you standing there in the dark?” he asked her and I could hear the teasing laughter in his voice as the light came on. “Clark?” he asked.
I still couldn't say anything. I had come here directly from South Africa, and had been sitting in the dark for the past hour. I had nothing to say anyway. Two thousand people had died on that train. Two thousand.
Of course, I hadn't found more than a couple dozens bodies or so before I had left. The man who had first approached me had come over after I'd been working for several hours to suggest I needed to rest. I wanted to tell him that I didn't, that I was fine, but it would have been a lie. I didn't feel fine at all.
Dad came over to stand next to Mom, placing a hand on my shoulder. “What is it, son?” he asked.
“The train in Africa,” I finally said.
“Did you go?” Mom asked, and I nodded.
“You're just getting back?” Dad asked.
“I didn't go until last night,” I said quietly. “I hadn't heard about it before.”
“I thought you were listening for things on Monday nights?” Mom asked me.
“I didn't this time,” I said. “I just… Maddie needed me.”
“Clark, what's wrong?” Mom asked, sounding more urgent this time.
“With Maddie or the two thousand people that died because I was hanging out with my girlfriend?” I asked bitterly.
“It sounds like you were doing something aside from hanging out with your girlfriend,” Dad said, taking a seat beside me. “You said she needed you, not that you were busy hanging out.”
I sighed. He was right, but still… Did that make it all right?
“What was wrong with Maddie?” Mom asked, taking the seat on my other side.
I shrugged. “I don't really know,” I said. “We were supposed to have dinner and when I showed up, she was all curled up in a ball on her bed crying. She never told me what was wrong except that she had had a fight with her dad. But she was so sad. She spent most of the night crying and when she asked me to stay with her…”
“Oh, Clark,” Mom said, placing a hand on mine. “Of course you did. You care about her. How could you leave her when she was upset?”
“But those people…” I said.
“You didn't even know about them,” Dad said.
“I should have,” I replied.
“What would you have done?” Mom asked me. “You couldn't stop the train derailing.”
“Maybe I could have,” I pointed out.
“You don't know that, Clark,” Dad said, his voice slightly hard as it often was when we had these conversations.
“I don't know that I couldn't,” I countered back.
“You know that you couldn't without exposing yourself,” Mom said softly.
“People died, Mom,” I said, getting up to pace. “Two thousand mothers lost their children so that your son could get to keep his secret. Is that fair?” I felt badly the instant I said it. Mom's eyes filled with tears even as she got up to put her arms around me.
“No, Clark,” she said, softly. “It's not fair at all. But this isn't an issue of you or them. Bad things happen all the time. You can't help them all.”
“I could help more than I do,” I said, but the fire was gone from my words.
“If what?” Dad asked from his place at the table. “If you dropped out of school and became the Boy in Black full time? If you broke up with Maddie so she wouldn't expect you to be there when she had a fight with her father? Is that the type of life you want to have, Clark?”
“I'm not normal, Dad,” I said. “Maybe it's unfair of me to want a normal life.”
“Clark Kent!” Mom said stepping back to look me in the eye – a task that wasn't as easy as it used to be given the fact that I was now seven inches taller than she was. “Stop that nonsense right now. Of course you're not normal. You are special. Do you know what makes you special?” she asked, but she kept speaking before I could reply. “You are a good, kind boy who feels the pain of others acutely. You are a talented writer. You are a good student. And you are a better son than your father or I could have ever hoped for.
“These… strange abilities of yours, Clark. They don't make you special. They are not at all a part of who Clark Kent is. They don't define you and there's no reason to let them.”
Dad came to stand beside me. “Clark, you have just as much right to a normal life as anyone else. If you want to use your special abilities to help, that's admiral, and you're mother and I will support you, but you can't give up your life for that.”
I nodded, but mainly as I was too tired to argue with them. I still wasn't sure they were right.
