As always, thanks to Carol for all her help!!
From Chapter 18
“Your cousin, Dave. Why don't you get along?” I asked her as I sat on the edge of her bed.
She shrugged from her vantage point in front of her desk. It bothered me a little that she was keeping herself so closed off. Why was she standing over there rather than sitting next to me like normal? “Why? Did you like him?” she asked, the casual tone to her voice sounding forced.
“Not really,” I said. She said nothing in response so I finally took a deep breath and added, “Mainly as I didn't like the way he looked at you. I felt like…” I stopped and sighed again as Maddie looked down at the floor in a way that would have caused a fire if I had done it. “Maddie, has he ever… I don't know how to ask this,” I admitted. “But I felt like… Has Dave ever done something your cousin shouldn't do?” I finally asked in a rush.
Even with her head down, I could see the tear fall to the floor from her cheek. A beat passed before she nodded her head, just slightly, and quickly, before more tears fell. I immediately got up and wrapped her in my arms as tightly as I could without hurting her.
Chapter 19
“It wasn't that bad,” Maddie said as we sat side by side on her bed, holding hands.
I gave her a look, letting her know I didn't believe her.
“I just… I made sure I never was alone with him, so things couldn't get that far,” she explained.
Now I was confused. “Couldn't get that far? How far is "that far'? If you were never alone how did they get anywhere?”
Maddie gave a small hollow laugh. “My parents don't deal well with… conflict? Reality? I don't know what the word is.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, still not understanding.
“I'd like to think that if Dave raped me in front of them they'd put a stop to it, but I have to be honest. I'm not sure they would.” She gave another laugh. “Actually, they'd probably just tell me to stop fighting. Dave has had a hard life and I should cut him some slack.”
“That's not funny, Mad,” I said softly.
“No,” she said quietly. “I guess not. But… well, it's better than being bitter. And I'm not joking. I don't know what their limits are, but not as strict as I'd like.”
“What do you mean?”
“It's just… it's not like they didn't know what was going on. I told them when it started. And they didn't say anything at all. And then Dave started visiting more and… it was like he knew they didn't care. He'd come over and touch me right in front of them and they wouldn't say a word.”
I shook my head. I wanted to understand what she was saying. I really did, but I couldn't. I couldn't imagine Mom and Dad letting that happen to anyone in front of them, but if someone were doing that to their child? I shook my head. I knew I was lucky, but I couldn't imagine any of my friends' parents being okay with this either. Then again, maybe neither could Maddie's friends, I guessed. She clearly didn't go around announcing this to everyone she knew.
“Anyway, I don't know if he knew their limits better than I did, or if some things even embarrassed him to do with an audience, but nothing ever really progressed beyond… I don't know…” Maddie trailed off and I squeezed her hand tighter. “Beyond groping, I guess,” she said. “But I don't… like I said, I never let myself be alone with him. I don't know if that's as far as he's willing to go or just as far as he's willing to go with an audience.”
I nodded, still feeling at a loss of words. Suddenly, I realized – “Is this what you were fighting with your dad about?”
Maddie nodded. “I think my dad has always been somewhat protective of Dave. He's so much younger than my dad is. And you know, he did have a hard life. His little brother died when he was a kid – drowned in a pool right in front of him. Apparently, Dave's never been the same since.
“So, when he heard Dave was coming to Metropolis, he wanted to make sure he had someone he knew to talk to or something. I think…” Maddie gave another small laugh, but it was a little less bitter this time. “Dad hates to travel. He was probably thinking that Dave would be uncomfortable here and I could ease that.
“The truth is, though, that I don't think Dave has any problems traveling. He's been all over the world.”
“Of course that doesn't mean he'd turn down a chance to see you,” I said, remembering Dave's words at the restaurant about Maddie being one of his favorite cousins.
“No, Dave's view of our relationship is different than mine. I really do think he doesn't get it. He thinks we're… star crossed lovers or something. He keeps telling my parents that one day he's going to ask me to marry him.”
I wanted to be surprised by this, but I really couldn't be. Compared to the other things she'd said, this just wasn't that surprising. Besides, given Dave's comment at dinner… No wonder he didn't want me there.
“Does he think… is he like waiting for you or something?” I asked.
Maddie shrugged. “I don't think so. He's had girlfriends before. And I don't know if he thinks I'm waiting for him. I mean, you are sort of my first long term boyfriend, but it's not like I never dated before.”
“I still can't believe your dad would want you to see him alone,” I said. I couldn't get over how... strange? twisted? that was.
Maddie shrugged. “It's not like that, Clark. I don't think my dad was thinking anything like that would happen. He just doesn't like to think about it. So, to him, all he was asking me to do was to see my cousin. What's wrong with that?”
“But when you argued…” I said.
Maddie nodded. “I know, but sometimes I feel like even when I'm arguing with him about it, he's blocking out the words. It's just easier for him to deal with that way.”
I sighed. I didn't want to argue with her about it, but I still didn't get it. Her father blocked out the words as it was too hard for him to deal with? What about Maddie? With another sigh, I pulled her closer to me.
“Thanks, Clark,” she said quietly into my chest a few minutes later. “I haven't really… I don't know. I've never really told anyone before. Thanks for being there for me.”
“I love you,” I said quietly. “And whatever your parents seem to think, in my mind that means I want you to be happy and safe. I want you to be able to talk to me about things like this.”
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It was a couple of hours later, after we'd fallen asleep wrapped in each other's arms, that I awoke and thought about my words. It was weird how calm I felt while I lay there holding Maddie. I finally realized what I had been missing from my relationship, if you could call it that, with Lana.
I think I always felt safe with Lana. I never had to tell her my secret because she wasn't very… nice to me? Those weren't the right words, but something like that. Maybe just because she obviously didn't care about me the way I wanted her to. The way I thought I cared about her.
That safety net… it felt gone with Maddie. And sometimes, like now, that felt good. No one had ever trusted me with their secrets like this before. It felt as good to hold Maddie tonight and know she felt safe after sharing the thing about Dave with me as it did when I was being the Boy in Black.
But was I ready to return the favor? Tell her about the Boy in Black? More than that - tell her about how I was the Boy in Black – about all my strange abilities?
Honestly, I didn't think so. Maybe I didn't want that kind of relationship as much as I thought I did. I wanted to feel this close to Maddie, but at the same time…
Well, not to minimize the thing she had told me, but she wasn't the only girl in the world to go through that type of thing. But I was, as far as I knew, the only person who could fly and freeze things with his breath.
Basically, Maddie's secret didn't change who she was. But mine… well, it made me a freak. As much as she had trusted me with her secret, I couldn't be sure she would really want to hear mine. How could she ever look at me the same way again?
She couldn't. Obviously. I couldn't be the same somewhat naïve farm kid she thought she was dating. I was… an alien. Or a science experiment. Or whatever it turned out I really was. And I couldn't see how anyone could know that and stop thinking of me as Clark Kent.
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I woke up to the feeling of Maddie stirring beside me, and snaked my arm out to pull her closer to me. Whatever weird feelings I had had last night were gone now. Or at least unimportant. All I wanted was to feel my girlfriend beside me and sleep some more.
“You have an early morning class,” she said as she snuggled in closer to my side.
I groaned. “Maybe I'll just skip it,” I said.
Maddie laughed. “Somehow I don't think that's a good idea. You may be the only college student in history who would feel badly about it later.”
I groaned again as I sat up. “You know, you make fun of me, but it's no fun to be the only college student in history who feels guilty for missing class.”
Maddie giggled. “Get out of here.”
I got out of bed and bent down to give her a kiss. Just as I was about to leave, though, I had a thought. “Mads, how long is Dave in town?”
“I think through next weekend. I'm not sure. I told my dad I would only see him once. Why?”
“Why don't you stay with me while he's here?”
“Could you talk about this later?” came the groggy voice of Stacy, Maddie's roommate, from somewhere under her covers.
I moved closer to Maddie's bed to whisper. “I don't know. I don't like the idea that he could stop by unannounced. If you're in my room, he won't be able to find you.”
“You don't mind?” she asked me.
I smiled. “Why would I mind? It sounds great to me.”
She giggled again. “You think Steve will mind?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “You think I care? Steve has girls over all the time. And when he has guests, I can't sleep there. I'm not planning to kick him out or anything.”
“Thanks, Clark,” she whispered before leaning up on her elbow to kiss me again. “I'll see you at lunch?”
“Yeah, see you later,” I said as I hoisted my book bag further up on my shoulder and left.
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“Hey,” I said to Steve when I saw him just before lunch. “Do you mind if Maddie stays here for a few nights? Just to sleep. You can be here, but I guess if you could not bring girls back, I'd appreciate it.”
“What? You two decide it would be fun to play house?” Steve asked me.
I shrugged. “No. There's just some stuff going on. So, is it a problem?”
Steve laughed. “What do I care? You're the one stupid enough to settle down with one girl when there are all these options out there.”
I rolled my eyes at him before we headed out to lunch together.
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“So, I'm guessing whatever was wrong with Maddie is better now?” Lois asked me as we walked to class.
“What?” I asked, trying to distract her.
Lois shrugged. “She just seems more relaxed now. And you two seem tighter than ever.”
I nodded. “I think we're good,” I said. “And yeah, Maddie's fine.”
We walked in silence for a few moments before Lois burst out, “He really mentioned me?”
“Who?” I asker her, not at all sure what she was talking about.
“Perry White. You said he mentioned me when you met with him.”
I laughed. “Yes, Lois. He really did. It sounds like he was pretty impressed with your article.”
“Any news on yours?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, but maybe Norcross and Judd don't work on weekends? They were meeting with people here on Friday night, so maybe they just haven't had a chance to call back.”
“I'm sure that's it,” Lois said. “I mean, we know your article is real, so it's going to get published.”
“Thanks, Lois,” I said, smiling at her. “So, how's the Titan?”
Lois nearly lit up at that. “It's so much fun, Clark. I mean, I'm sure it's nothing like the Planet, but the newsroom is crowded and ….” She trailed off.
“Have you had a chance to talk to Paul?” I asked her.
“A couple of times,” she admitted blushing. “But he's really busy and he mostly talks to the upper classman.”
“Have you met Linda?” I asked her.
“Linda King?” she clarified and I nodded.
Lois nodded. “She's just as Alicia described her. Blonde, big boobs, no brains.”
I laughed. “And yet still this doesn't change your opinion of Paul?”
Lois shrugged. “He's a guy, Clark.”
“Hey!” I said. “So am I. And last I checked Maddie didn't have blonde hair and she had a brain.”
“No comment on the boobs part, I noticed,” Lois said with a grin.
“I'm not an idiot,” I said. “I'm not going to say my girlfriend doesn't have big boobs. Then I'll just sound like I'm disappointed or something.”
“Actually,” Lois said, “you'll sound like you noticed.”
I raised my eyebrows at her. “Noticed what? That Maddie's a girl? Yeah, I did. Is that a crime now?”
Lois giggled. “I guess not. I don't know. You're right, of course. But maybe Paul just hasn't met anyone who's the total package yet, so he's settling.”
“He's met you,” I said.
“What?” Lois asked. “What's that got to do with…”
“You said he hasn't met someone who's the total package. I presume by that you mean looks and intelligence. And for the case of Paul, let's even add in journalistic talent, although it doesn't sound like that's all that important to him given his interest in Linda.”
Lois shrugged.
“Well, you have looks and intelligence. And journalistic talent coming out of your ears.”
Lois giggled. “Well, maybe I'm just not his type. Yet.”
“You mean because you can think for yourself? Or because you're not the kind of girl who would sleep with him to get a spot on the paper?”
“Or because I'm not blonde. Or…” she trailed off.
“And that's okay with you? You're still attracted to him even if his interest in Linda over you is based on hair color or bra size?”
“If you tell me you've noticed my bra size, I may have to smack you, Clark Kent,” Lois said firmly.
I blushed. I wasn't going to go anywhere near there. I mean, what was I supposed to say? Surely, it wouldn't be believable for me to say I hadn't. Even if I had been a good liar. And since I wasn't… Nope, I wasn't going to say anything at all.
Lois giggled. “Well, I guess that answers that.”
“I'm not blind,” I said softly.
“I didn't think you were. But this was my point. All guys notice things like that.”
“Not all guys make their dating decisions based on things like that,” I said.
“I was unaware we were dating,” Lois said with a sly smile.
“I was unaware that was even an option,” I countered. “I seem to recall something about you only being here for your journalism degree.”
Lois blushed. “I am, but if Paul were interested in me…”
I groaned. “You're hopeless,” I told her.
She shrugged. “Whatever. Just wait, Clark. I'll be dating him before the end of the semester. I just need to figure out how to impress him.”
“Have you tried stuffing your bra?” I asked her.
She smacked me. “Careful, or I'm going to have to replay this conversation for Maddie.”
“Hey, I haven't done anything wrong,” I said.
“You will have when I retell it,” Lois replied, an evil glint in her eye.
I laughed as I followed her into the classroom.
