Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: The Return of Ultra Woman (10/20)

We're half-way there.
Opinions?

Bob

I enjoyed this chapter with Lois' beat efforts and her patrols. And on a thought, if Lara ever wants to 'don a suit' she'll have the perfect back story with them presenting Supes and UW as married.

I loved this part and I love this story and how it is evolving

Lois using super speed to move between interviews three blocks apart? And without changing into the suit? Sounds like a rookie mistake that could backfire into someone noticing something.

I also found her interview technique interesting. ("Your honor, she's leading the witness.") It works here because Lois knows what really happened and what the correct answers should be (like "gold"), but Detective Anderson doesn't know that. I'm surprised that he allowed a witness to be interviewed before the police had taken a statement. But I'm sure that he was surprised to have a reporter show up so soon, and he is new to the MPD, so maybe he was taken off guard. And sometimes an investigator does have to give up information to get information, and he did want to know what Lois knew.

And I hope that doesn't sound like criticism, because I am LOVING this story! I like that it is written from Lois's POV, and I like that everything is so well thought out. I may not always leave fdk, but I will definitely be reading each chapter as soon as I can.

So when and how is Lois going to meet Ultra Woman (so to speak)? Looking forward to a very interesting news story.

Nice part.

but I guess her age will be more accurately guessed if and when she's revealed as the original UW.

And CM has a point. Lois is taking a lot of risks with her new found mobility. But then, that's Lois for you

Michael

Just a quick note for now and I'll edit later.

Thanks for the FDK with a special thanks to cookiesmom and Michael. After having that light turned on I'm actually re-editing ch 10. I am revisiting that whole sequence and see if I can achieve a better level of reaasonableness.

I'll be back later today.
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Edits done: It feels better and more realistic now. I hope you agree. Thank you for the input to make the story better.
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Edits Again…

Sara:
Glad you liked to Lois as Lois scene. Although it reads a bit differently now. As for Lara and the public knowledge of possible origins. Well, there is still some story to tell.

robinson:
Thank you for the feedback. I’m glad you are enjoying it and hope you find rest of the story entertaining.

CMom:
Actually, I would classify your FDK as criticism but of the best possible kind. Between the points that you and Michael brought up I have revisited that section of Chapter 10 and think it feels much more realistic now. I sincerely thank you for your critical feedback.

Marcus:
Interesting question. I sort-of deal with that issue but your question has me considering some minor additions further down the line.

Michael:
I had Lois acting way too sloppy and taking too many unnecessary risks. After reading CMs FDK as well as your own I revised that part (After I stopped banging my head against the wall for being sloppy with the story.)

Thank you all so much for the FDK! You may be interested in the revised version where Lois is a bit more cautious and asks (hopefully) more appropriate questions.

Bob

You know, I think Perry suspects something.

Tee-hee! Of course, maybe those KE's have something to do with it. But extra points to you for the humor!

Wow, Bob, there's a lot of action there. Being both the superhero and the reporter makes for a busy time.

I loved Ultra Woman's relaxed and fun approach to the superhero stuff ... but I think there's a good chance it will backfire on her - probably soon, while Clark is still away. It was very much like - when the cat's away ...

And as for posing for Jimmy ... that was hilarious, but I'm expecting she'll have cause to regret that too.

Corrina.

Iolan:
Well, Perry didn't get to be editor because he could yodel!

Corrina:
Did you think she felt relaxed? My feeling was that she simply handled the situations as easily as possible. Pick the right algorithm and often the solution will look easy. As for the Jimmy shot, well, we'll see.

Bob

I don't think Lois felt relaxed, but I didn't sense the rigid control and unyielding distance that Clark brought to all things Superman, particularly in the early days.

It could be because of differences in their personalities, but more likely because Clark had to walk a totally unknown path, while Lois has his example to follow.

My point was that I really enjoyed the different slant you took on this.

Corrina.