Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - Awaken My Heart (2/?)

FDK goes here.

Thanks.

Another very promising installment!

I love the fact that even now -- after they've found a way to communicate -- there's still a rift between them, caused by their very distinct frames of reference.

To Lois, a guy calling himself Supreme Ruler of anything would of course come across as a lunatic. But to Kal, that's just the way it is. He's been conditioned by his upbringing to never even question the rightness of his absolute superiority over the rest of New Krypton's people.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of this clash between cultures. Keep them coming!

Great part.

It has to tear Kal-El apart that he knows his people are dying. It seems he is used to it...

Can't wait for the next part!

What an amazing part...I am in awe of your ability to write an array of emotions so convincingly and all in the same part!

I love how it is inevitable that Kal's nice orderly life gets thrown out of whack when Lois Lane arrives on the scene.

Interesting bits thrown in - Kal's parents are dead and he doesn't remember them. And what of the two lines at the end? Hmmm...

I really love this story and can't wait to see where it's going!

Amber

Wow, FH, this is a terrific story. You are doing a wonderful job of *showing* rather than *telling* us about the huge differences between NK and the life Lois is used to.

The absolute rigidity of Kal-El's life up to this point by his waiting four minutes before closing that file.

The harshness of his world by the definition of 'old' as over forty years.

The poverty of his people by the humbleness of his own accomodations.

His concern for them by the fact that, as far as we can tell, he has no leisure time at all. Every minute is devoted to his duty to his people.

And here comes Lois Lane, absolutely alien to him, but, to his own consternation and fascination, offering him a level of warmth and intimacy that he has never known and doesn't know what to do with. She calls him by his name. She treats him as an equal. She smiles at him. To Lois their relationship seems cold and distant, but to Kal Lois's nomral Earth gestures are shockingly intimate.

Can't wait to see more.

I'm really liking this! It's so original. I just wonder how much Kal el has done with his concubines. Great part!

~Sheila

I am really hooked on this story. I realized how much when I was unloading the dishwasher and couldn't get out of my mind all the suggestions that Lois might make to Kal-El about how earth people heat their homes.

I also was struck by how rigid Kal's life is and how harsh the environment of NK is in your story. I hope that Lois can not only awaken Kal's heart, but that she can breathe new life into their desolate existence.

Can't wait for more.

You hooked me too. Keep going. Laura

Great part! Keep it coming. The quest for fuel to burn to heat a house made me think of unforested areas of earth where they burn the excrement of the grass eating animals. Hopefully, they have animals with them.

Artemis

OK, see, this? This right here? THIS is why I try to resist unfinished stories. Because right now I want to tunnel through the internet and climb into your computer and frantically dig through your story files until I find the rest of this story. And if it's not finished yet, I'll start plotting a way into your head so I can find out how it ends.

ARGH!

Ahem. Right. Um ... oh yeah ... great story!

(Basically just look at everything HappyGirl wrote up there and read it again. She said everything I was thinking.)

Oh, but one question ... Kal says that he has heard of planet Earth, yet he also says that it is uncharted. Can they both be true? (And since you said to suggest answers, perhaps its name was in the records from Jor-El's research into other planets, but the details were lost when Krypton went boom? At least I'm assuming that in this universe, Jor-El and Lara sent Kal along with the colonists while they stayed behind to perish on the planet. You know, because they were 30-something and elderly ...)

Pedendang Thanks for leaving FDK.

Yes - being able to speak to each other does not guarantee communication. There will be some misunderstandings

Kathryn I'm glad you picked up on Kal's struggles. Like Clark, he always tries to do the right thing.

Thanks for your comments.

Amber Sidenote ... my friend just had a baby called Amber!!

Thanks for your FDK. 'Nice orderly life' and 'Lois Lane' in the same sentence ... uhmm - sounds like fun.

Happy Girl Your comments show amazing depth of understanding of what I'm trying to say - Thanks!

Your description of their interaction is great - exactly what I was trying to portray.

Sheila Thanks, Sheila. You won't be wondering for too long!

Brenda Thanks Brenda.

What suggestions did you think of? Any ideas for the lack of water? Where I live has been in drought for 12 years - we know you can't *force* it to rain.

I have some solutions which will come out later in the fic ... but any other suggestions are welcome.

Laura Thanks. I'm glad you're reading and enjoying.

Artemis Yep ... I thought of that too. Thanks for your FDK.

Kathy The file is called 'Lois on Krypton' if that helps any Thanks for your FDK.

Yes - it will come out later. Your answer sort of skims along the surface of where we are heading.


Thanks to everyone for your enthusiasm. This idea hooked me completely. I really didn't intend to write it until next year, but I just couldn't push it out of my head. I'm so glad it is having the same effect on others.


Corrina.

Oh Yeah! I am totally hooked! This idea completely intrigues me as well. There are so very few stories where Lois travels to New Krypton, and it definitely makes for good reading. In fact, I can only think of one - Care and Training of Concubines on the Nfic boards - but they already knew each other before going to NK. There was another story that I read quite awhile back where Kal-El was observing her somehow from NK, but I can't remember the name of it. Anywho, great story!!!
Is it update time yet?

Hmm. Water. One of the big things needed in life. If it's not falling from the skies, then there may be some underground. The questions is always, where to dig? I wonder of Lois has heard of dowsing rods? With limited resources, the NKers can't run around drilling everywhere.

Artemis

Corrina, this whole presentation, it has a wonderfully eerie and otherworldly feeling to it. The others have already made a lot of the observations so I'll keep from repeating them and start with fresh stuff

*yay* she really is his concubine. Which brings up an interesting point. Isn't he required to produce a lineage, so if he is not consorting with his wife, well... Or maybe they have a lot of dangerous radiation on New Krypton and together with all the strain this life is putting on him, he is no longer man enough to keep his wife company



So, how does the translation-chip work? I'm assuming Kal doesn't have one, otherwise no one else can talk with her unless they, too, have a chip, so Lois is understanding and speaking Kryptonian. How does she enable it, since she spoke from the beginning in Kryptonian? And why does Kal think her name is "Low Is", assuming that the chip is a translator of meaning instead of sound?

Last but not least, it's very interesting to seeing this strong people so down-beaten by the environment. The experience has probably given them some perspective but I have the feeling, if they do happen to settle on Earth, they will quickly take over control once the powers manifest. The temptation will be much to great. Sequel?

Michael

melray Thanks for your comments. Update ... Part 3 will hopefully be early in the week (Mon/Tues) because late in the week RL gets busy.

Artemis You could be writing this story! There will be drilling!

Michael The question of the heir will be answered - and it has nothing to do with radiation!!

The Translator - more info coming early Part 3 when Lois gets over her shock of being an 'alien' and asks questions.

Your other questions are answered in the fic ... but this one isn't that obvious. I may put in a few more lines to make it clearer. (Thanks for the question )

The Translator translates words according to meaning where there is a direct, closish translation. Where there is not, it reverts to sound.

There is no direct meaning translation for 'Lois' so it goes by sound and comes up with 'Low is'. Lois emphasised the 'isss' so Kal gets it as 'Low-iss'.

That made sense to me - I hope it makes sense to you!!

I'm not planning a sequel, but there may be a part A (September) and a part B (November).

Thanks for your feedback, Michael.


Corrina.

Michael wrote:
My thoughts went in the other direction -- I'm wondering if Lois will ultimately adopt NK as her new home, just as Clark adopted Earth as his. If she can use her "powers" (knowledge, creativity, instincts, affection) to save the planet, would she not become a type of superhero in her own right? I don't know if this is where Corrina is taking us, but I can't wait to find out.

(And you know a story is good when you get readers discussing it like we would discuss the episodes on the show. )

Corrina, I hope I didn't step on your toes. I live in a desert, so I'm very familiar with water issues. Also living with blowing dust!
regards
Artemis

Hey, where is Tank? Shouldn't he be around to praise Corinna for shaving some of Lois's hair off?

Like KathyB, I was wondering about the fact that Kal said that he had heard of planet Earth, but that it was uncharted. Actually, I was surprised that he said that he had heard of it at all. A possibility might be that these people are originally Earthlings who left their home world many generations ago, to settle on New Krypton. (Why, though, would they call it "New" Krypton? Unless they had settled on "Old" Krypton first?)

If Kal's people are originally from Earth, that would explain not only why they had heard of the Earth, but also why they themselves look fully human. It might also explain why they can barely survive on this planet in spite of their advanced technology. (If the Earth had been this harsh during the Stone Age, I don't see how humanity could have survived.) But New Krypton might have been more hospitable when Kal's people first came there, but now they may be in the process of using up the water.

Anyway, this is a fascinating fic! I was wondering about Kal and his wife - you said they saw each other only once a year, but I didn't get the impression that the annual visit was necessarily an intimate one. Or maybe it was intimate, but it took place in total darkness, so that Kal and his wife frankly didn't see each other at all? (It reminds me of the Biblical story of Jacob, Rachel and Leah - Jacob has labored for seven years to be able to marry Rachel, and now he is finally allowed to go into Rachel's tent to spend the night with her - and it is only in the morning that he realizes that he has been with Leah instead!

But really, the "wife" question and the "concubine" question are interesting and important. Kal seems quite innocent in a way. Is he a virgin???? Surely that isn't possible? As a ruler, he would definitely be expected to produce an heir, and given that he is twenty-six years old, and the average NKer is expected to live to the age of forty, Kal may be in a hurry. Isn't he supposed to live long enough to give his offspring some parental guidance? Then again, maybe not. Kal doesn't remember his own parents at all.

Well, in any case, Lois and Kal are definitely highly intrigued by one another, just as we expect them to be!

Fascinating, Corinna!

Ann

some ideas for Kal from my sci-fi buff friend:

Water: drilling, recycling a la Dune, conservation

Heat/energy: insulation e.g. living underground(Lois has already suggested heavier clothing which is one form of insulation), solar energy or other alternative forms that don't require burning carbs.

For what it's worth...

Kathy Ahh ... no comment re where these two may end up.

Artemis No problem at all. I appreciate your suggestions. Keep 'em coming!

Ann I'm glad you find the fic fascinating, Ann, because I find your FDK equally so. It is like you are weaving in and out of my files, picking up some of my ideas and tweaking them a little.

I can't really reply in detail without giving away more than I want to.

However, I do appreciate your wonderful FDK.

Happy Girl Hey, thanks for that. The solutions are still a little hazy in my own mind so don't be surprised if some of your suggestions end up in the fic.


Corrina.