From Part 16 ...
Kal folded her into his arms and kissed her. He burrowed his hand under her hair and used his arm to deepen the contact into his chest. His plan was for a short kiss – a kiss that would tell her he had no intention of pressuring her into anything. But, with Lois’s body tight against him and her mouth nimble on his, every part of him screamed in protest at the thought of backing away.
He did it – fully aware it was probably the most difficult task he had ever demanded of himself.
“Good night, Lois,” he said quietly. “I will think about you all night and hope the morning comes quickly so I can be with you again.”
She put her hand on his face. In the dim light, he could see a little moisture glistening in her eyes. He didn’t need to ask if it was good or bad because she was smiling. He leant forward and touched a gentle kiss to the corner of her eye.
Then he turned and walked back to his room ... his mind full of his plans for tomorrow.
Part 17
The next morning, Lois was plucked from sleep by the persistent rapping on her door. She peered into the dimness, then reluctantly crossed the room, yawning. She steeled herself for what she knew would be a blast of cold air and opened the door.
Kal was there.
“Would you like to walk with me along the beach?” he asked.
The inclination for warmth, daylight and more sleep vanished instantly. “Give me a moment to put on something warmer,” she said.
He grinned. “I’ll wait for you.”
Lois quickly changed into another gown, put on her coat, finger-combed her hair and applied a little of Riz’s face cream.
When she opened the door, the first light of the new day had permeated the dimness. Kal held out his hand and together, they walked through the courtyard and out of the gates.
“Kal?” Lois said. “Are you sure it is wise for you to be seen so openly with one of your concubines?”
“I don’t know,” Kal said. “But I do know what you mean to me and I’m not going to hide it.”
“What about Za?” Lois said. “Won’t being with me be an insult to her?”
“The marriage of a Regal Noble is nothing like your description of love,” Kal said. “A Regal Noble does not choose his wife – the arrangement is made between the parents when the children are still babies. The marriages are usually nothing more than the strategic merging of two houses; a Regal Noble and his wife rarely associate in public.”
“What about in private?”
“They usually lead completely separate lives.”
Even when spawning children, Lois thought. “But you’re not a Regal Noble.”
“In the area of marriage, I have been expected to follow the same Rules as the Regal Nobles.”
“So Za won’t mind?” Lois asked incredulously. “I mean, if you were my husband, I would hate you being out with another woman.”
“If I were your husband,” Kal said gravely. “I would not be out with another woman.”
Lois squeezed his hand. He glanced down at her, looking so happy, the conscientious leader was lost for a moment in the sunshine of his smile.
They left the dusty streets and strolled through a field of short, straw-coloured grass. The air was piercing in its bleakness, but that only served to accentuate the warmth of Kal’s hand as it enveloped hers.
They reached the top of a small rise and could see the grey ocean spread out before them. Moments later, they stepped onto the gritty sand and watched as the savage waves churned the foaming water.
“I guess all that water is unusable for drinking,” Lois said.
“Yes. It has a high salt content.”
“Have you thought about desalination?” she suggested. “As a means of solving the water shortage problems?”
“Yes,” Kal said. “But our energy resources are too limited to make that a viable solution.”
“Has the drilling located any water yet?”
“No.” Kal glanced at his watch. “We have twenty minutes until the tide comes in and covers this sand.”
“In twenty minutes this beach will be under water?” Lois asked in amazement.
“Yes,” he said. “Today there is only a short time between first light and high tide.”
Lois smiled to herself. He had planned this. “Do people swim here?” she asked. “In the summer?”
“No,” Kal replied. “It is far too dangerous. There are strong undercurrents and heavy tides.”
“Is it like this all around the island? Beach with strong tides?”
“No – on the east side there are cliffs. The land has a long, moderate incline, then falls away steeply at the ocean.” Kal turned from the horizon and faced her. “Thank you for coming with me, Lois.”
“Thank you for asking me,” she said. “It was a lovely idea.”
“You smell very nice.”
“So do you.”
“Tek gave it to me,” Kal said. “His wife makes it.”
Lois smiled. “I got mine from Riz as well.”
While they had been speaking, Kal’s eyes had dropped to her mouth and moored there. His fingers zeroed in on her chin and tipped her face towards him. Then, he slowly closed the distance between them and kissed her. With unhurried deliberation, he savoured her.
When he lifted from her, she could feel his reluctance. “I want to learn more of your language,” he said softly. “Would you mind if we turn off our Translators again?”
“No.”
His hand in her hair felt more like a caress than a mission. He turned off his translator and smiled on a happy breath. “Thank you trust me.”
“You make it easy to trust you.”
Kal took her hand again and they ambled along the beach. “What ...” He swept his arm in the direction of the water.
“Ocean. Sea. This is a beach.”
“Your people go in sea?”
“Yes,” Lois said. “They swim. Sometimes they ride boards in the waves.”
“Not ... “ Kal stopped, obviously searching for a word.
“Dangerous,” Lois said, eying the turbulent water that had advanced noticeably in the few minutes since their arrival. “Yes, sometimes it is dangerous, but some beaches are safe.”
“Why ... swim?”
“For fun. Because they enjoy it.”
“Fun ...”
Lois looked sideways at him. “You don’t understand that word, do you, Kal?”
“No.”
“It means doing something simply because you want to. Not because it’s your duty or your responsibility ... just because you enjoy it.”
Kal’s face cleared and he smiled. “Like ... now.”
Lois laughed. “Yes! It is fun to walk with you. I enjoy it.”
“We can do again,” Kal said.
“I would like that.”
Kal slipped his arm along Lois’s shoulder and pressed her into the warmth of his side. They continued walking along the rough white sand until the rising water threatened to rush their feet. Kal led them from the beach, through a field and back to the more densely housed area. As they walked, Lois chatted, giving him words for the things they saw.
They crossed the courtyard and went to his bedroom. Once there, Kal turned on their translators.
“What oatmeal do we have this morning?” Lois asked, unable to completely subdue her apprehension regarding her translator continuing to function.
“I don’t know.”
Lois felt the rush of relief that she could still understand him. “You don’t know?”
“I told them I wanted anything I hadn’t had before,” Kal said. “I’d never had beverage; there might be other things I haven’t tried.”
“Kal, I feel so sad that you’ve always eaten alone,” Lois said. “That is heartbreaking. Eating together is one of the things Earth people really enjoy.”
“I enjoy eating with you.”
As they shared a smile, Tek walked in with a cup of coffee and a plate containing square, chunky slices that, despite being bare of any spread, reminded Lois of toast.
“Thank you, Tek,” Kal said.
Lois was sure she didn’t imagine the slither of reaction cross Tek’s face at Kal’s words. She owed Tek an apology for her suspicions, but he wouldn’t comprehend it and she wasn’t in any hurry to admit that she had thought he was having an affair with his sister. There was a chance he hadn’t even noticed her animosity, so she just smiled and echoed Kal. “Thank you, Tek.”
Tek turned directly to Lois. “Riz said she would be honoured if you visit again, even if you don’t have a new book.”
Lois smiled. “I would like that, Tek. Riz is a very nice person. And your children are beautiful.”
Tek didn’t smile, but there was a slight crinkling in the corners of his eyes – enough to tell her he had enjoyed her compliment.
“Tek, I’m thinking of writing a story about a grandfather taking his grandchildren for a walk. Would your children like that story, or would it make them sad because their grandfather passed away?”
“They don’t remember my father,” Tek said. “They would like that story.”
Lois smiled. “I’ll write it then.”
Tek turned and left.
Lois examined their breakfast. “What do we have?” she asked.
Kal contemplated the slices. “I don’t know,” he said.
“I think I would call it toast,” Lois said.
“Toast,” Kal said, with perfect pronunciation.
“Kal, do you have any idea how astounding it is that you have picked up my language so quickly?”
“No,” he said.
Lois chuckled and bit from the ‘toast’. It was sweet, despite the lack of a spread. “Why did you ask me to come with you to the beach this morning?”
Kal sipped from their coffee. “Because you said you wouldn’t marry me.”
“Oh?”
“I asked you to marry me and seven times you said you wouldn’t, so I researched Kryptonian Law and discovered there is no rule preventing me from taking you as my wife.”
“What happens to Za?”
“She remains my official wife.”
Lois could feel hot, indignant tears rising. “And what does that make me?”
“You would be the wife I chose,” Kal said simply.
“How very convenient,” Lois snapped. “You have your cake and eat it too.”
Kal recoiled at her tone. “I don’t know what cake is, Lois,” he said evenly. “But I can see you still don’t want to marry me, so I will continue to work through my plans.”
“You have *plans* to coerce me into marrying you?”
“I have plans ... I really hope you will change your mind ... but I won’t force you into anything,”
“How many dates did you think it would take for me to capitulate?” she demanded.
“I don’t understand dates.”
Lois was in no mood for a language lesson. “You’re married, Kal,” she said coolly. “Whatever your plans are, unless they involve me being your only wife, they won’t work.”
He looked crestfallen. “They won’t?” he asked.
His simple candour dissolved her annoyance like boiling water poured on sugar. It wasn’t his fault they were in this situation. “Kal, you’re *married*,” Lois said softly. “Where I come from a marriage is one man and one woman.”
His eyes rammed into hers. “Do you think I love Za?”
Lois shook her head. “I know you don’t love her.”
“Who do I love?”
She stared into the coffee. “Me,” she mumbled.
Kal’s hand reached out and lifted Lois’s chin so her eyes met his. “I want to marry you so much, Lois. I don’t think I will ever have the words so you can understand how much I want a real marriage with you. Legally, under Kryptonian Law, I can marry you, but I will never do it unless you want it too. I hope you will reconsider, but even if you don’t, it won’t change that I love you and will always want to marry you.”
“And you think early morning walks along the beach will convince me?” Lois asked gently.
“I didn’t think it would be just one walk,” Kal said a little defensively. “But I have many other ideas.”
Lois had to hide her smile. “Such as?”
“Drinking beverage with you. Ordering more interesting food for us to share. Learning to speak your language – without the Translator. Planning things for us to do together. Showing you that I don’t intend to hide my feelings for you.”
“Have you thought about exactly what our marriage would entail?”
“I know there are many decisions to be made,” Kal said. “I thought we would decide them together.”
“Tell me more about your plans,” Lois said, relishing the experience of being with someone who was willing to simply answer her questions without ducking and weaving.
“I thought I should kiss you ... and hug you.” He glanced away, before turning back with a small smile. “Although that isn’t just because I want to marry you - that is also because I really like doing that with you.”
Again Lois had to hide her smile. “Anything else?”
“I am going to tell you ...“
Kal’s words died and his eyes wandered from hers. “Tell me what?” she asked.
His eyes remained distant. “There is something about me ... something I have never told anyone.”
The possibilities filtered through Lois’s mind. Was he going to tell her he had never slept with his wife? “Why are you going to tell me?”
Kal turned to her, eyes solemn. “Because I don’t want anything between us,” he said. “And also because I understand that you feel as if you will merely be another wife to me, so I tried to think of things that are only for you and me.”
“Like sharing a secret with me?”
“Yes. You said married people tell each other everything.”
“Are you going to tell me tonight?”
“No,” Kal said. “I am going to tell you as soon as I can speak your language well enough.”
“Why is it so important that you tell me in my language?”
“Because I am very concerned about how you will react ... what you will think of me when you know, so I hope that by telling you in your language ... maybe you will understand.”
“Is it something about your marriage?” Lois asked. “About your wife?”
“No.”
Lois could feel the curiosity crawling up the sides of her brain. “You won’t tell me now?”
“No.”
“What happens if you tell me and I still won’t marry you?”
“I’ll feel bad.”
“You’ll feel bad about trusting me with your secret?”
“No, I’ll feel bad about you not wanting to marry me.”
“It’s not about what I *want* to do, Kal,” Lois insisted. “It’s –.“
“Yes, it is, Lois,” he said quietly.
Lois’s protest died, unspoken, on her lips. He was right. Earth, with its conventions and mores, could no longer be her frame of reference. “What if I said I can be with you, but we can’t be married?” she suggested.
“I will always like being with you,” Kal said. “But I will never stop wanting to marry you.”
Why? In Kal’s culture marriage was not necessarily exclusive and, like the younger brother in the first dispute, could be annulled if it got in the way of family responsibilities. “Why is marriage so important to you?”
“I don’t know.” His eyes gleamed with a rock-solid determination. “But it is.”
“And if I say I will marry you,” Lois said. “What will happen then?”
“I will ask you to tell me about Earth Marriage Ceremonies,” Kal said. “I will ask Tek to officiate and try to make it as close to your dreams as I can. Then ... I will do everything I can to make you happy for as long as I live.”
Lois was tempted to push aside her doubts, wrap her arms around his neck, kiss him extravagantly and admit the truth to both of them – that she desperately wanted to marry him. That she loved him totally and had no doubts her heart would be safe if she entrusted it to him.
She could be his. In some ways, she already was.
But she wanted him to be hers. Truly hers. Exclusively hers.
“Is that what you were doing yesterday?” Lois asked. “When you had all the books on the bed – were you researching whether you could be married to two women?”
“Yes.”
Did you see the diagram? “Didn’t you know?”
“I was instructed to read the entire Law in the months before my Investiture – and I thought I had - but I didn’t remember that bit and I haven’t looked at that part of the Law since.”
Did you understand the diagram? “Because you weren’t interested in a second marriage until now?”
“Yes ... and because there are no Disputes requiring me to research the part of the Law dealing with marriage of the Supreme Ruler.”
Have you thought about doing that? “How many wives are you allowed?”
Kal looked uncomfortable. “More than one,” he admitted.
Have you thought about doing that with me? “How many more than one?”
“Lo-is,” he said on weary sigh.
Have you wondered if I think about doing that with you? “How many?”
Kal sighed. “As many as I want.”
She should have expected that.
“Will you dine with me tonight?” Kal asked.
“Kal,” Lois said. “I eat with you every night.”
“But tonight, would you go to your room and get ready, then wait for me to come and get you?”
“Are you going to ask me to marry you again?”
“Is that what you want me to do?”
“No ... but that is what often happens on Earth,” Lois said. “A man sets up a dinner date with a woman and during the date, he asks her to marry him.”
“It is not my plan to ask you to marry me tonight.”
“Good.”
“But any time you’d like to agree to marry me, please tell me and I will ask.”
Lois looked for a hint of amusement in his earnestness but she couldn’t find it. “I’ll do that,” she said, with like seriousness.
“Good,” Kal said. “We have an appointment? Tonight?”
“Yes. A date.”
“A date?”
“On Earth when a man and a woman go out together, that is called a date.”
He smiled. “We have a date.”
+-+-+-+
Lois finished writing her story about the grandfather and his walk along a beach with his grandchildren.
There was still an hour before lunch. An hour before Kal would come.
Lois’s restlessness had been fired by her taste of life outside the gates. Tek had said Riz wanted her to visit again. Lois jumped up from her desk and left Kal’s room.
Half way along the corridor, she stopped.
She didn’t have another book ready, but maybe she could take something else to thank Riz for her hospitality and friendship. Riz wouldn’t understand a ‘thank you’ and that made it seem even more important not to arrive empty-handed.
But take what?
Other than the corridor, the chambers and Kal’s bedroom, Lois hadn’t been anywhere else inside Kal’s building.
There had to be a kitchen. Kal ordered food and it was delivered. It had to be prepared somewhere.
Lois backtracked to Kal’s chambers. Further along the corridor, she saw another door. When she came to it, she could hear activity on the other side – movement and voices. Was it a meeting? Was Kal in there? Meeting with his Cabinet? Would he be embarrassed by the unexpected appearance of his concubine?
Lois listened intently and then, deciding there was definitely too much movement for a meeting, she tapped on the door.
When it opened, she immediately smelled the aroma of food. A middle-aged man - middle-aged for Earth, she hadn’t seen any elderly people on New Krypton – looked back at her. “Hello,” she said. “My name is Lois.”
He waited for her to continue. She needed a question, not a statement. “Do you have any cookies?” she asked.
“No.”
“Anything made with sugar?”
“We have puddings,” he said.
Puddings? She could ask what they were, but it would be better to sample them. “Could I have four, please?” Lois asked.
He turned, left and came back a minute later with a plate containing four lightly tanned clusters that reminded Lois of muffins. She took the proffered plate. “Thank you,” she said with a beaming smile. “What is your name?”
“Nib,” he said.
“Thank you very much, Nib,” Lois said. “And thank you for making the beverage for me.”
He closed the door. Lois hurried along the corridor, eagerly looking forward to sharing the ‘puddings’ with Riz and her children.
+-+-+-+
The ‘puddings’ were not particularly moist, but they were sweet and complemented Riz’s coffee perfectly. Riz gave one each to her children and then the two women sat at the table together.
“Do you mind if I ask you questions?” Lois said.
“No.”
“You said Nor is the next in line to be the Supreme Ruler. That if there was a death and no child, Nor would become the Supreme Ruler.”
“That is correct.”
“If he wanted it enough ... wouldn’t it be a simple task to ...?”
“The Supreme Ruler is extremely well guarded. And the rules governing his safety are prohibitive - the murderer and his closest ten relatives are all executed.”
Lois swallowed. “Who ruled over New Krypton before ... ten years ago?”
“The Cabinet.”
“Lord Nor, Lord Ching and Lord Yent?”
“No – the Cabinet then consisted of Lord Ked and Lord Yent. The former being Nor’s father. Lord Ching was too young and his father didn’t survive the Transition, so their family seat was vacant.”
“The interim cabinet consisted of two Regal Nobles from the south?”
“Yes.”
“Did that work well?”
“There was a lot of violence – much more than now. The people of the north didn’t like the situation, but full-scale war was averted because everyone knew it was temporary. We knew that as soon as Kal-El reached adulthood, he would take the mantle of Supreme Ruler.”
“So protecting ... the child ... was important?”
“It was imperative,” Riz said. “He was the hope of all throughout the early years. Without him, there would have been no future for New Krypton. Without him – the only one of Regal blood of both Houses – the warring sides would have fought until one side totally surrendered.”
“It means *that* much?”
“To some people, yes.”
“I saw the three Regal Nobles at the Report, but I didn’t know who they were.”
“The old one is Lord Yent. He was a Regal Noble on Krypton. His family is of the least rank. The next in age is Lord Nor. He became a Regal Noble on the death of his father three years ago. Lord Ked lived until he was nearly fifty, so Nor had to wait a long time to become a Regal Noble. The youngest and second behind Nor is Lord Ching. He was born in the final year on Krypton.”
“How did the cabinet determine laws and make rules?” Lois asked. “Like the rule that a woman can be taken as a concubine even if that is not her wish?”
“When we arrived on New Krypton, the Law of the South and the Law of the North were merged.”
“The cabinet did this? Nor’s father and Yent?”
“Yes,” Riz said.
“Did they favour the Law of the south?”
“Not obviously. When we arrived on New Krypton, there were more people from the North than from the South. Had the Cabinet favoured the South too openly, they would have risked a Civil War with the odds against them.”
“The law they established still stands today?”
“Mostly. The current Supreme Ruler has abolished the worst of the unjust rules.”
“Such as?”
“Such as a Noble cannot be charged with the murder of someone of lower class.”
“Then how did Nor get away with it?” The question burst from Lois before she could contain it.
“The Rule was changed after that incident,” Riz explained. “The Supreme Ruler waited until the case had died down, then changed the Law.”
“Why wait?”
“Because he understands that Civil War is in the interest of no one.” Riz rose and brought the coffee jug to the table and then refilled both of their cups. “Are women on your planet forced to marry?”
“Not in my culture,” Lois said. “And we don’t have concubines, either. Certainly not concubines without any rights.”
“Undoubtedly the concubine system is open to abuse, but it serves women well.”
Lois wasn’t sure about that at all. “How?”
“For a long time, there were many more women than men – a heavy portion of the young men died every summer in the Old War. By allowing concubines, it gave women the chance to have children and raise them in safety.”
“What does a concubine do if she doesn’t have children?”
“That depends.”
“On what?”
“On what she wants to do,” Riz said. “Some return to their homes during the daylight hours and help there. Some work in the hospital. Some work on the farms. Some do little other than sit around and gossip.”
“Is that why there is the rule about not speaking of their master?”
“Partly,” Riz said. “That rule was one of the last ones instigated by the Cabinet before the Investiture.”
So was its purpose to keep the people ignorant of Kal’s isolation?
Dom approached her mother and patted her arm. Riz turned to her daughter. “Can we have lunch?” the child asked.
Lois realised she had probably outstayed her welcome. “I’m sorry, Riz, I have stayed too long,” she said. “And I asked so many questions, you didn’t have a chance to ask about my planet.”
“I enjoy talking with you,” Riz said. “Will you come again?”
“Yes.”
Riz went to a drawer, then turned and offered Lois a large, thick-toothed comb. “Barter,” she said.
Lois eyed the comb with yearning. “Riz, I didn’t bring the puddings just so you would give me something.”
“Do you have a comb?” Riz asked.
“No,” Lois admitted.
“Take this one,” Riz said. “I have two.”
“Thank you, Riz.”
Lois felt a strong inclination to give Riz a friendly hug. She didn’t ... because she couldn’t predict how Riz would respond and Lois didn’t want to do anything that could possibly damage their budding friendship. So, she merely smiled.
And left ... with her comb.
As she walked away from Riz’s door, Lois noticed some indistinct lines drawn in the dirt. She stopped and examined them. They were a hopscotch grid – a grid that had been smudged by little footprints.
Grinning broadly, Lois walked back to Kal’s gates.
+-+-+-+
Kal had attended the meeting of the Water Committee. The total lack of success of the drilling operations had given rise to heated debate about whether they should continue at the same sites, move to other sites or abandon the project completely.
Despite opposition from Yent, they eventually reached the decision to continue drilling at the chosen sites.
Kal then met with the chief of the Medical team who informed him that the bodies from the massacre had been released and buried. Kal signed the entries into the Register of Births and Deaths.
He still had half an hour before lunch. He hurried back to his bedroom. Lois had said she would be writing the story for Tek’s children. He felt the surge of his anticipation as he neared his room ... and then felt it collapse when he found his room empty.
Kal returned to his Chambers and took out the volume he hadn’t finished reading yesterday. He sat on the bed and opened it.
Mostly it expounded the Law governing the Supreme Ruler and the Taking of Concubines.
Kal skimmed the rules and sub-rules regarding the position of the wife and concubines upon the death of the Supreme Ruler. They became available to be taken by other Nobles.
He turned the page and continued reading. Amongst the long-winded Law, he could find nothing outlawing him taking a second wife and nothing to stop him marrying his concubine. He turned the page again, his interest dwindling fast.
Then he saw it.
The picture.
The picture of a man and a woman.
And, like the sudden crash of an avalanche, he understood.
*That* was how other people conceived a child. *They* didn’t do it with samples and separate houses.
*That* was why married people lived together.
*That* was why married people slept in the same bed.
And with a revelation that squeezed the breath from his lungs, he understood something else - *that* was what he ached to do with Lois.
*That* was how he could get closer to her.
Kal closed the book with a snap and stared ahead.
*That* would be ... there just weren’t words to describe how incredible *that* would be with Lois. The inherent intimacy shattered his mind. Would she want to do *that* with him?
He couldn’t do it unless she wanted to do it too.
Would she want him? Would she want him as much as he wanted her?
Had she even thought about it?
If she married him and slept in his bed every night, would they do so much more than hug and kiss?
He hoped so.
Because that would be beyond incredible.
Kal dragged himself from his thoughts and quickly took the book back to the shelves in the Chambers.
Why had he never thought about it before?
Because, until Lois, there was no room in his mind for anything other than leading New Krypton.
Sometimes, he’d wondered in passing if life could be more than endless meetings and settling Disputes and eating alone and trying to manage dwindling water supplies and standing strong against the ever-present threat of the Old War re-igniting.
He’d wondered ... then reality had interrupted and he’d accepted that this was his life and his people deserved his full attention.
But now ... there was Lois.
Lois who had shaken his life to the core – changed the way he thought about so many things – shown him how bleak and empty his life had been.
Kal could feel his face heat as he recalled telling Lois about having to give the sample each month. She had not been able to hide her surprise. Had she been surprised by the method, or had she comprehended his lack of knowledge and been surprised by that?
Was that why she wouldn’t stay in his bed? Because she was scared he would do that to her?
But, he was sure it wasn’t supposed to be something one person did to another; it had to be something two people did together.
So ... was there any chance Lois would want to do it with him?
If she deduced that he hadn’t known about this, she was going to suspect his secret.
It was vital that he tell her the secret before she worked it out for herself. Then, at least he would have the opportunity to try to explain.
Would his secret shock her?
Yes.
Would it repel her?
He hoped not.
She had thought it sad when she’d discovered that he’d never eaten a meal with anyone until her arrival.
She would understand.
And she would still love him.
That knowledge filled him with joy.
Lois *would* still love him.
Wouldn’t she?
He hoped so.
Because he knew he couldn’t go back to his old life. Couldn’t go back to any life that didn’t include Lois.
He needed her.