Ok, if this seems familiar, I've already posted it over on the dark side, but as I've never posted anything I've written (not that there's been much) over here, I though I'd clean it up and give it a go.
I'd love to know what you think. I have written a lot more than has currently been posted on the dark side so (I'm not sure if this is the done thing) I'll post the rest on both - with and without any 'n' references!
It's probably a bit rough, without me having a beta reader. I have read it over and over to polish as much as I can, but I started to go crazy after a while!
The characters are not mine; I am just playing with them for fun and Folcs.
Some dialogue, plot etc has been borrowed from the episodes ‘Lucky Leon,’ written by Chris Ruppenthal and ‘Resurrection,’ written by Gene Miller and Karen Kavner.
This started out as a challenge by Coolgirl on the nfic boards, so thanks to her.
Text between < > indicates a character’s thoughts, text between // \\ indicates a memory and italics represent a dream.
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Part One
// Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock
“Mayson! No!!!!” \\ Clark lay half-asleep in bed as the sound replayed itself over and over again. It had been the same all week, ever since the night of Mayson’s death. Every time he closed his eyes the memories kicked in; a heart-wrenching soundtrack of ticking interspersed with Mayson’s words.
// “Clark, this isn’t easy but I’m sure it’s obvious from the way I’ve been throwing myself at you that I have feelings for you.”
“This is when you’re supposed to say ‘I have feelings for you too Mayson.’”
“Well, I do.”
“That was enthusiastic.”
“Mayson, I care about you, and I think about you, a lot.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“How do I say this?”
“Just tell me. Clark, I’m a lawyer, I know you’re hiding something, something that’s keeping us apart. What is it? I can handle it.”
“Mayson, it’s not that easy.”
“If it’s Lois, just say it.”
“I care for you, and I care for Lois.”\\Then recollections of his last proper conversation with Lois would follow, preceded by yet more ticking.
// “Lois, I don’t really know exactly how to say this but, why did you come back to me tonight, to the factory? I mean, you were running back into an atomic explosion.”
“I know it doesn’t make too much sense does it? I guess I couldn’t just leave you there.”
“You slammed the door in my face last night.”
“That was…..a mistake.”
“Don’t let it happen again.”
Lois took in a deep breath.
“I guess we’ll just have to see how things go won’t we?”
“Fortunately, there’s no doors here tonight.”
“Fortunately….”
Clark leaned in eagerly but cautiously, daring to hope that this was the moment; the moment their friendship at last turned into something more.
Lois was finally seeing him as a potential lover, instead of just a working partner and best friend. It meant the world to him. It would be the culmination of over a year and a half of longing. The first real, genuine, romantic kiss Clark shared with Lois. The kiss he had yearned for since she ignored him in Perry’s office the day he interviewed.
At first, their lips met in the most fleetingly tentative of touches, but the understanding that passed between them was immense. Lois paused briefly to take in a breath and then moved in to fully succumb to their long-simmering attraction and affection for one another. The kiss was soft and tender, but was filled with such passion, though it turned out to be so agonisingly short-lived.\\Clark could recall vividly the shimmer of her hair, the sparkle of her eyes in the moonlight, the slight nervousness in her voice, the incredible softness of her lips and the exquisite taste as her tongue gently and gingerly sought out his.
//It felt to Clark as if they were the only two people in the world. Nothing else mattered to him at that moment but making Lois happy and proving to her that he was a man she could trust, someone who would never, ever, hurt her or let her down.
The heat rose rapidly as they began to settle into the kiss. Clark drew Lois closer to him and her tongue danced with his. They had only just established a rhythm and begun to truly relax, when the kiss was so cruelly and tragically cut short.
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock
“Mayson! No!!!!”\\And so the loop continued.
//Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock\\‘Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep!!’
Clark awoke suddenly, as the ticking that haunted his dreams turned into the sound of his alarm clock. He sat up completely bewildered.
“Lois,” he cried out.
He then sank back down into bed, shaking his head and whispering, “Mayson.”
The memory of the most perfect few seconds in Clark’s life was completely tarnished by guilt, and that guilt multiplied whenever the memory of the kiss encroached on his nightly torture, threatening to even momentarily replace the feelings of blame and remorse with joy.
The suffering he was subjecting himself to was badly affecting Clark’s blossoming relationship with Lois. He had completely shut her out, not really intentionally, but he didn’t feel he deserved happiness so soon after that happiness had cost Mayson her life.
Of course, whatever inner-turmoil he was going through didn’t make his behaviour fair on Lois, and that made him feel even worse. It had been hard enough for her to let her defences down, by the time he sorted himself out they would probably be right back up again, and it would take another two years for a breakthrough - if at all.
Clark didn’t need sleep as such, but the deprivation, along with the tumult of emotions he had been experiencing, was seriously affecting him. Without sleep, he knew he became less focused and could think less clearly in every situation, which concerned him when it came to his Superman duties. Sleep revived him and helped him to carry on, that along with the companionship of Lois. Without it, and without Lois, he was rapidly losing belief in himself in every aspect of his life.
His parents were wonderful and always supported him. They had given words of comfort and condolence over Mayson’s death, and had offered to come and stay. In this particular situation though, Clark had been polite, but had pretty much shut them out. What he didn’t feel able to convey to them was how ashamed he felt that the kiss between he and Lois was occupying just as big a component of his thoughts as the explosion that killed Mayson, if not bigger. He always awoke from his dreams calling for Lois. He felt like a hormonal teenager. However close he was to Martha and Jonathan, he couldn’t begin to tell them that, and as a result, they were largely unaware of the extent of their son’s torment.
Clark realised the only chance he had to move forward was to talk to Lois, as he had countless times before when he began to lose faith. It was Mayson’s funeral today. He would get through that, then speak to Lois, seeking her guidance and hopefully her understanding. He knew he also had a lot to make up to her for, but he didn’t know how to begin.
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//“Fortunately, there’s no doors here tonight…”
“Fortunately…”\\Lois Lane was in the midst of a deep, blissful slumber, enjoying once again the same dream she had been having all week. Each night it digressed and altered a little more from the events of that fateful evening…
// Clark, complete with sloppy tie and irresistibly unkempt hair, leaned agonisingly slowly in towards her. His eyes were dark, intense and glazed, as he looked at her through his stylish new glasses. She hoped that she had read his signals correctly as she tentatively moved in also for the long-awaited kiss.
Thankfully, Clark met her halfway and their lips finally made contact. It was the briefest of initial touches, as they each reassured themselves that they had gauged the moment and the other’s feelings correctly. When they parted, no words were necessary. They both knew that it was right and that they wanted more, much more.
Lois took in a much-needed breath and then met Clark’s lips once more. This time they relaxed into the kiss and were quickly overtaken by passion. Lois felt herself melt into his arms. She was at last kissing Clark, for real. Clark, ‘her Clark’ (or at least the man she had thought of as ‘her Clark’ for some time now), her partner and the best friend she had ever had.
It was better than she had ever imagined. She felt so safe and so cherished as he placed his hands in her hair, framing her head almost possessively. She genuinely felt like she had been swept off her feet, although this time (unlike the other time she could have said that of herself; the first time she flew with Superman) her feet were firmly rooted to the ground and she had never experienced a feeling quite like it.\\This was where Lois’ dream veered from the path of reality. In her dream there was no interruption, no bomb, no sadness and tragic loss of life, just warmth, happiness and love.
Seconds felt like minutes. Clark’s hands moved down to Lois’ shoulders and he held her closer to him, moulding her body into his as they kissed. Lois trembled as heat radiated throughout her body. It was as if they were the only two people in the world. Lois roamed her hands through Clark’s tousled hair as their kiss continued to ignite, their tongues duelling together.
She pulled him ever closer to her, wishing they could be transported to somewhere they could be truly alone. She heard Clark gasp.
“Lois, oh Lois. I love you.”
“I love you too Clark, kiss me.”
Their kissing became more frantic and Clark’s hands travelled down Lois’ body, slipping underneath her jacket.
“Oh Clark,” Lois whispered breathlessly between kisses. “Take me home, please."
Clark answered her with a heart-stopping kiss. Lois’ pulse was racing. She needed him to never let go. She had never felt this excited and complete. Clark finally broke the kiss and looked into her eyes. He tucked her hair behind her ear on one side and spoke in a soft, sexy voice.
“Lois, I love you so much.”
Lois clasped her hand around his at the side of her face.
“Oh Cla…”“Good morning Metropolis!”
Lois radio alarm blared out, providing a very rude awakening. She awoke with a start and sat bolt upright in bed.
“Clark!” she called out before reality set in.
“It’s 7.00 a.m. and this is….” the offending radio continued. Lois slammed her hand down on it, then flopped back on her bed.
“Clark,” she said again more softly and choked back a sob.
She felt flustered, confused and very, very alone. She picked up the bear that Clark had won for her all that time ago and hugged it tightly.
It had been a week since her first date with Clark, since they shared their first real kiss that had meant so much, and Lois had never felt lonelier.
Clark had been going through the motions all week; he was barely even with her as a partner. He seemed to be in denial about the whole thing and was completely shutting her out.
“Clark, come back to me. Let me in,” she whispered, with tears filling her eyes.
She suddenly remembered it was the morning of Mayson’s funeral. She needed to keep it together. Today was about Mayson and she would have to be strong for Clark.
She would do everything she could to support Clark today, but then she would have to speak to him and try to get him to open up, before whatever he was holding inside tore him apart.
She had never seen Clark like this before. She thought they had reached a level of trust and understanding where he would able to share his thoughts and fears with her. The realisation that he couldn’t hurt Lois. She tried not to think selfishly, particularly not today, but she couldn’t help worrying at the back of her mind that Clark’s feelings for Mayson ran deeper than he had told her, that it was actually a lost love he was mourning rather than a close friend.
Lois sighed and walked towards her closet, in search of something appropriately sombre and respectful to wear. She could only hope that the funeral would provide at least a little comfort and closure for Clark and she would be able to get some answers soon.
