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Part 4: Discovery
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He’s gone.
And I’m not so angry anymore. Except for when he first came in my window, I’m not sure I ever was that angry. Surprised and hurt… yes, but angry? Okay, I was angry. Clark sure seemed to think I was about to look for a baseball bat. A Kryptonite baseball bat.
An few hours ago, I think I would have given anything to have another moment with Clark. Then I’m granted a wish beyond my wildest dreams, but instead of holding him, I’m watching him leave. It turns out that he’s the biggest liar I’ve known. I was sure that title would forever be reserved for Lex. I can really pick men!
I guess he was sort of right. I am angry. What is it about being in the same room as him tonight that makes me so I can’t think straight? Right now, I’m also angry that he took off so quickly. He droped a bomb… actually several bombs, and he seemed to think I was going to be able to process all of it so quickly?
Clark is Superman. Or is it Superman that is Clark? Does it really matter?
He thought it was important to for me to know that Clark is the real person. I can still see the look on his face when I said Clark wasn’t real. No, in his mind he’s certainly Clark. I’m not sure I understand why that’s so important to him. They’re both real. If Clark was a soldier, would he insist that I love him only when he wasn’t in uniform?
Did I just think that? Love him? How can I love him after what he’s done to me? It would serve him right if I took him up on his offer, wrote the real Superman story and got that Pulitzer. Yeah, it would serve him right for making a fool out of me.
I won’t. Not because of Clark… well, not just because of him. I could never do that to his parents. They are about the nicest people I’ve met. How could they raise their son to… do that?
I should be more angry – or sad – or happy. I’m not sure what I’m feeling. I guess I am angry, and sad. I’ve gained and lost so much in the past hour. I don’t know.
Maybe I’ll be better off without Clark. I did fine before he came along. Three Kerth awards tell me I don’t need him… but I will miss him… terribly.
Why did he think Clark Kent had to die after tonight? All he had to do was say that he was wearing a bulletproof vest. He could claim to have been knocked out by the shock of the bullets and say that he woke up later. The gangsters obviously never looked at him closely, or they’d have known he wasn’t dead. He could claim that Superman gave him the vest and Superman would conveniently back up his story.
Despite everything, I have to smile. Poor Clark. He never could think on his feet. I’m amazed Superman is so effective. I guess that explains all those strange disappearances and stupid excuses. No wonder he was always having to rush off to somewhere. Will Superman disappear now as well?
If Clark is real, and he’s been around all this time, why did Superman only show up last year? Somehow, I think that’s important.
I still need to decide what to do about him. I wonder if he really thinks I’ll expose him for the story. I hope he knows me better than that. When we first met… well, maybe. I guess I’m glad I didn’t know then.
I need to work through this. I need to talk. But who? It can’t be anyone here. Everyone I know thinks Clark is dead. I can’t very well complain about him to them right now. In a flash, I know and head for the phone.
I dial the number and hope. After only three rings, I’m rewarded with a sleepy, “Hello?”
“Lucy, it’s Lois, can you talk?”
“Lois? Do you know what time it is?”
“I’m sorry, but I need to talk with you. Is that all right?” I suspect I sound desperate.
“Sure, sis. This is unexpected. Which is it, Mom or Dad?”
“Neither. Why do you ask that?”
“Think about it. Since I left Metropolis, how many times have you called me?”
“Um, a few.”
“Okay, how many times have you called where you weren’t complaining about either Mom or Dad?”
“Lucy!”
“Lois!”
She’s right. “Okay, I don’t call much. But this is different. I need you advice.”
He voice turns sarcastic. “I’m glad I’m laying in bed. My big sister is asking me for advice. I need to mark down this day.”
“Lucy, please. I need this.”
I think she can hear the stress in my voice. “Okay, Lois. I’m sorry. What’s it about.”
“Do you remember my work partner, Clark Kent?”
“Are you two finally dating?” I wish she didn’t sound so happy.
“No! It’s just – complicated. We’ve gotten closer and recently I’ve been thinking along those lines…”
“Go for it! I remember him. He’s worth it.”
That’s what I thought until… “It’s not that simple. See, first there was this – accident I thought he’d been – well, killed. It really tore me up and, well, it got me thinking that he’s become pretty important to me.”
“You sound upset, but you don’t sound like you’re best friend is dead. Is he okay?”
“Yeah. It turned out that he wasn’t hurt after all. But I just found out he’s been lying to me about some important parts of his life.”
“Don’t tell me he’s got a secret wife or something.”
“It’s nothing like that.”
“Have you managed to fall for another crime lord?”
“Lucy!”
“You’re the one that said he’s been lying about parts of his life. Instead of my guessing, why don’t you tell me what he’s been lying about?”
“Well, I can’t tell you too many details. It’s like he has a secret part-time job. He’s not doing anything unethical but… Well, he’s lied to me!”
“I’m sorry, sis.” She sounds genuinely concerned now. “He seemed like such a nice guy. How did you find out about his secret?”
“He told me.”
“What!”
“It was all part of that – getting killed thing I mentioned. He thought it was the only way to show me that he wasn’t dead. Like I said, I was very upset.”
“So he told you this secret because he was worried about you?”
“I guess.”
“He sounds like a real crumb.” I think she's been practicing her sarcastic voice.
“Please be serious!”
“Give me a break Lois; he’s already ahead of most of the guys I’ve dated. But I’ll try. Just exactly why did you call me tonight?”
“I don’t know. I’m – confused. Last time I got confused like this, I tried to work it out by myself and I ended up almost marrying Lex. I was hoping… Lucy, I don’t know. I needed to talk and I don’t have anyone else.”
“All right, I’m glad you called. I’ll help any way I can.”
“Sis, you’ve had a lot more experience with men and relationships than I have. I know I haven’t always been as understanding as I should, but – I need whatever advice you can offer.”
“I think the best I can do is to go over where I’ve run into mistakes with men, and see if Clark falls into any of those categories.”
“Thanks, Lucy. Anything you can think of will help.”
“First, these secrets you talked about, is there anything that will get him – arrested?”
“No. In fact, it’s more like – I don’t know – community service.”
“He lied about performing community service?”
“It’s complicated. But it’s not about what he does; it’s the secrets and lying.”
“Did he lie to take advantage of you?”
I have to think about that one for a second. Was Clark keeping the Superman secret to take advantage of me? No, if he wanted to do something like that it would have been easy.
“No. Clark wouldn’t do anything like that.”
“Did you hear what you just said?”
“What?”
“You’re defending him. Either he’s a lying rat or he’s a nice guy that made a mistake. You need to decide which it is. This is where you have to be careful. It’s easy to get this one wrong. I certainly have enough times.”
Of course, Clark is a nice guy. He’s Superman. And he’s Smallville. And he said he loved me three times tonight. Four if you count the bit about my welfare being more important than his.
“Lois?”
“Sorry Lucy, my mind was wandering.”
“You said that when you thought he was dead, you were all torn up.”
“Yeah.”
“Were you upset because you thought a friend had been killed? Or was there more to it?”
I have to think about this for a moment. I’ve known people that were killed. Some of them were even friends. “It’s hard to say. Clark is my best friend. I’ve never had someone that close to me die before.”
“This is tough, sis. You thought he was dead?”
“Yeah.”
“So you felt bad. I get that. But was it because you were going to miss your friend or – was it like you had lost part of yourself?”
“I wish I knew. All I know for sure is that I’ve never felt so empty. Once the initial shock was past, I’ve been feeling like I’d lost – everything that mattered.”
“Lois, that’s pretty powerful stuff.” She pauses for a minute as if trying to think of something else. “Okay, you’ve known him for nearly two years. If you forgive him, do you think he’ll do anything like this again?”
“No, I don’t think so. Learning this explained so much I hadn’t understood before.”
“What does your heart tell you?”
I guess this is what it all comes down to. “I want to be with him.” As I say the words, it feels like warmth has come back to my soul.
“I think you have your answer. But Sis, make him grovel first.”
I wish Lucy could see my smile. Hopefully she can hear it. “Don’t worry, I will.”
“And chocolate. Make sure he brings you lots of the good dark kind!”
“Lucy, thanks. You don’t know how much this helped. I… I love you.”
“I love you too, Lois. Now hang up and call Clark.”
As soon as I hang up the phone, I start searching for the number. For a few minutes, I’m afraid that I lost the number for Clark’s parents. How often do I need to call Smallville?
It’s late, or more properly, early, but I have a feeling that no one is sleeping at the Kent home tonight. The phone only rings twice before I hear Martha’s voice. “Hello?”
“Hi Martha, it’s Lois.”
“Lois, um, I heard the news about Clark being shot. Perry already called me.”
“May I speak to Clark?”
A long silence. “I don’t understand,” Martha stutters.
He hasn’t told them that I know. She’s not nearly as good at this as Clark. “Martha, Clark was here a earlier this evening. He was wearing – his uniform. He came by to tell me he was okay. When he told me about – his other job, it didn’t go so well. He said I could reach him there.”
“Lois, honey, I’m so glad he found the courage to tell you. He’s wanted to for so long. Please don’t blame him too much for not telling you sooner. I’m afraid that Jonathan and I scared him while he was growing up.”
“So is he there?”
“He’s upstairs with his dad. He came in about ten minutes ago more upset than I’ve ever seen him. He was here earlier tonight and that time he was angry and worried about being shot in front of everyone. Then he left for a while and when he came back it was worse. I guess that must be when you saw him. When he got back here, it was like the life had gone out of him. He just trudged up to his room and closed the door. Jonathan’s been up with him but I haven’t spoken to him yet. Did the two of you have a fight?”
“Sort of.”
“About his – other job?”
“It was mostly about lying to me. But Martha, he never gave me a chance. I was hurt and angry but he took that and… I need to talk to him. Would you ask him to come back to my apartment?”
“Sure, Lois. Do you want me to send him right over?”
“Yes, please. We need to work out some things.”
“Okay. I’ll go upstairs and tell him you're waiting to talk to him.”
“Thanks. Um, Martha, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, but I may not be able to answer.”
“Who is – the person in the uniform?”
A long pause. “Martha?”
“I think you have to ask Clark that question.”
“I intend to. But I’ve received a few shocks tonight and I’m trying to bring my world back into focus. I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts on this. What happened last year to cause Clark to suddenly decide to start using his abilities to help so much?”
“He’d been helping out for years. When he would get caught doing something – special, he’d just move on. He wanted to help more but until he got to Metropolis, staying in one place wasn’t that important. So the simple answer is that Clark – put on the uniform so that he could stay in Metropolis.”
“I don’t imagine you’d be willing to say why staying in Metropolis was important?”
“No.” I can hear her smile. “I think you can guess, but that’s a question you’ll have to ask Clark.”
“I will. Please tell him I’m waiting.”
“Okay. Bye, dear.”
“Goodbye.”
She’s such a sweetheart. Clark is *so* lucky to have parents like that.
I need to set the stage before he arrives. I have a plan but he owes me some hard truths.
TBC
