Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK: The Cold Shoulder - 3/3

It's been very interesting reading the feedback in this thread. While it is quite true that 'wham' warnings have never been obligatory on these borads as Kathy says, there was at one time a general use of them as a consideration for those readers who aren't up for wham endings. However, in the last couple of years that convention seems to be going by the board ( just realised that's a bad pun - sorry) .

For me, as a fan of Lois Lane as much as Clark Kent, it's sad to see Lois so easily discounted as expendible. For me Lois Lane is as much what defines Clark Kent, as it is Clark Kent who defines Lois Lane. (and I'm gathering in this fic he redefines her quite literally ) They are both key key to the "Story" in the larger sense.

expendible, replaceable Lois, here in this quote.

I'll add here that I'm an admirer of Terry's writing skills (would that I could write like that - clean, uncluttered prose) as well as his ability to construct good B plots.

c.

Carol, let me state that I don't think of Lois Lane as expendable, any more than I think of Clark Kent as expendable. I don't imagine that there are many - if any - people in this fandom who would think that way. In thousands of L&C stories, there are very few that don't have the two of them together. And I imagine that for most of those, the authors had a specific scenario they wished to explore in that particular story, not because their overlying feeling is that we don't need to have Lois and Clark together.

You quoted from countrygurl's comment as proof that people are thinking of Lois as expendable. Well, I respect countrygurl's right to her own opinion, but I don't share it - at least not all of it. I too was not a fan of the soul mates idea, because it implied that L&C were meant to be together no matter what, and to me that implied that they would still have ended up together, ultimately, no matter what, which kind of trivialized all the struggles they had already gone through by that point.

However, I personally don't think that Clark would have found someone else after Lois in this story. Aside from the fact that he felt an instant connection to her from the moment he met her (which had never happened to him with anyone else), he bears an incredible amount of guilt for having agreed to freeze her. Her actions subsequent to having been "thawed" are her responsibility, but Clark would always feel the guilt of having been the one to "turn" her into this. He would probably do his best to turn away from her since she is unwilling to accept anything from him at all. In this story, Superman would have been unable to intervene since most of her actions were not criminal, but now that she crossed the line with that Marine operation and cost lives, I imagine that her next move could easily involve Superman needing to stop her.

Terry, I hadn't realized that this was in fact a real medical condition. See, we learn something new on the boards every day. Can you tell me what the name is?

Kathy

If the medical condition that Lois has acquired as a result of Superman's freezing her is not his responsibility, why is that?

Sometimes people who have brain problems after trauma are not able to take repsonsibility for their actions - they need professional help to get to the stage where they are able to act. It would seem out of character to me for Clark Kent to give up on Lois Lane, especially when he was the cause of her trauma in the first place.

Now Ralph, for example, I can see off-loading that sort of responsibility.

btw, I too am not crazy about the 'predestined soul mates' idea, mostly because it dimishes the idea of free will. I do believe that one peson can be another's soulmate though. But predestined - nope.

c.

Carol, I would assume that you are referring to people suffering mental or emotional impairments, who would require the care of doctors, psychologists, social workers, etc. to help them function in society. I certainly agree with that.

But Lois could function. Just as before, she doggedly pursued her stories. She used sources, and wasn't afraid to step on someone's toes in the pursuit of that story. However, now all of that was heightened. Before we would have described her as determined and single-minded, and meant those as positive attributes. Before when she stole Clark's story she was full of remorse, even though she would not admit that to him. Here she's stealing stories from reporters without a second thought. Now she's including data in published stories that endanger lives in a military operation.

It's a personality change, not an impairment of intelligence. She can lead her life without anyone's help, but it is a life without feeling, filled with calculation. And she doesn't want help from anyone - she has refused countless offers of help. She has free will - they haven't been able to force her to seek help up until this point. I'm not sure what the final straw would be.

I truly don't think that Clark has absolved himself of responsibility. I don't think he ever will, but I don't know what else he could do at this point. Lois refuses help - she doesn't think anything is wrong with her. Which was one of the most poignant parts of this story - we all mourned the loss of Lois, but she didn't...

Kathy

There are probably a few people on these mbs who have some medical knowledge of brain function and it would be great to hear their take on this.

But it sounds like Lois is suffering some brain damage - she's exhibiting behaviors that are more extreme than what we have seen in her. As well she seems to have lost her ability to feel compassion and her idealism. It sounds almost like she has become a sociopath. So what has happened to her brain to account for these behavioural changes? Did the freezing damage some parts? I understand that brain tumors can affect a person in this way, but I know so little about the brain.

As for Clark - well he's a hero - sometimes that just means hanging in there and persevering, helping. Being torn up about it, sure - but Clark Kent would act too, I think, not turn his back, particularly as he is the one who has damaged her. The harderst thing is to stand by someone you love whose personality has changed because of a medical condition. But we do stand by the people we love and do our best to help. Would Clark Kent see Lois Lane as expendable?

I fear here we are getting away from Terry's story and getting into larger questions, so maybe this is inappropriate?

c.

Finally got around to reading this one, Terry. I thought it was poignant amidst the sorrow. I especially appreciated the metaphore of the cold shoulders. Their dual meanings wrapped up so much in such a few words.


Elisabeth

I agree that if Lois's personality has changed as much as it has done here, then she must have suffered some sort of brain damage.

Many years ago, I saw an absolutely fascinating multi-part TV documentary about the brain. Here we met several people who had suffered various injuries to various parts of their brains. I remember one man who had suffered an injury to the "cutlery names" part of his brain, so that it was impossible for him to use the words "knife", "fork" and "spoon" properly. I remember one woman whose brain the doctors had found necessary to literally separate into two independent hemispheres (because of her severe, very debilitating epilepsy) and she had literally become two different persons inhabiting one body. It was downright spooky to hear her say (with her left hemisphere, which is the one that can talk) that she was going to wear her blue dress today, while at the same time her left hand (directed by her right hemisphere) reached for a green dress.

Anyway, if Lois's personality changes so radically, I agree that she must have suffered some sort of brain damage. If so, this brain damage may well be permanent. And if she has become a true sociopath, she may find herself out of a job relatively soon, and maybe she will also be found guilty of a crime relatively soon.

If Lois is sentenced to jail she will be fed and clothed, but if she is just fired, what will happen to her? In Sweden, a person who is permanently disabled will automatically receive a "disabled person's pension". It will not be much, but it will be something. Would Lois be eligible for a pension if she became too sociopathic to work? And if not, should't Clark see it as his responsibilty to provide for her financially? After all, I'm sure that Clark has never caused the disability of another person who was perfectly healthy and not in danger or in need of Superman's help.

I agree with those who say that if Lois's personality has changed so radically because of the unnecessary thing that Clark did to her (and it doesn't exonerate him that Lois asked him to do it) then he is responsible for her. If she is sentenced to jail for a crime she did commit, and she doesn't want him to visit her, then there is nothing he can do for her. But there may be other situations where she does need his help, and then it would be his duty to provide it.

Ann

Okay, here's another take on what may have happened to Lois. Maybe it isn't strictly brain damage as such, but rather the developing of a phobia, namely "altruism-phobia"!

Remember the woman I talked about in my earlier post, the woman whose brain was cut in two, so that she literally became two persons? That woman was most certainly "in two minds" about what dress she should wear. But I think that many of us are "in two minds" about many things we are going to do.

Imagine that Lois was "in two minds" about offering herself to be frozen so that Clark's parents could be saved. Before the freezing took place, the dominant aspect of her personality was determined to be altruistic and offer herself. But when the actual freezing took place, the part of her that was reluctant to be frozen was "scared to death" when she, and it, almost died. After she was revived, this other part of her hated her altruistic self, because it had so nearly gotten her killed. The non-altruistic aspect of her personality totally subjugated her altruistic self. From now on, she would be completely selfish and never think of anyone's well-being but her own.

Maybe, just maybe, Lois can get over her "altruism-phobia", in the same way that people can get over kinds of phobias. But the more sociopathic she becomes, and the worse things she keeps doing, the harder it will be for her to get over her "sociopathy", and the harder it will be for people to believe in her again. If Lois indeed suffers from "altruism-phobia", she needs help, and fast. Again, Clark is duty-bound to try to help her.

Ann

I apologize if this post offends but I’ve been struggling to come to terms with this story since it was posted. I have tried ignoring it but that has not seemed to help.

Very simply, this is the most disturbing work I have ever encountered here. It has left me very upset and hesitant to return to the boards at all. I have been through deathfics that were not nearly so disturbing.

Terry is an excellent writer. His skills certainly far exceed my own.

This story has almost driven me from this fandom. For me, the damage is done. However, for the benefit of others like myself that might be sensitive to encountering this sort of story, I would suggest two possibilities:

1. The creation of a SUPER-WHAM warning to warn individuals that are more sensitive to stay away at all costs.
2. The creation of SUPER-WHAM folder or at least some place that would give people the opportunity to not encounter something like this if they would rather not.

I had tried to ignore this but aside from the fact that I do find it so disturbing, the level of comment that it has triggered means that when I have gotten the courage to return to check on the stories that I do enjoy, this is right at the top on the posts and I am slapped in the face again.

I seriously doubt that my comments will carry any weight or even be well received. But this story has significantly darkened my ability to appreciate these characters and, to be honest, I am resentful to have that taken away. I had another work in progress I have found that I simply can’t find the enthusiasm to write my characters.

Again, I am sorry if this offends but this story has taken something that I cherished and I don’t know if it will ever return. I hope there can be a way to prevent that from happening to someone else in the future.

Bob

Hi,

I too have been wondering whether I should comment on this fic, as I try not to upset any writer. I know authors put a lot of time and effort into writing, and, while there is a place for many types of story in this fan fiction, I do like stories which end with a ray of hope.

Terry, you are a very accomplished writer and I have enjoyed many of your stories, but Cold Shoulder left me feeling down and empty inside. I will be honest and admit that I wish I hadn't read this story, but I kept going, believing, against all logic, that you would find a way to give us a tiny glimmer of light at the end of a very dark tunnel. But that would have been impossible.

I fell in love with the show, Lois and Clark, because I admired, respected and liked Lois Lane and Clark Kent. That doesn't mean that I saw them as perfect people. Far from it. I found their faults endearing.

I know that I might be in a small minority who prefer stories that stay true to the cannon of the characters which I grew to enjoy so much.

Terry, I really wish I could say something more constructive about your story, particularly as so many readers seemed to have enjoyed it. It is certainly well written ... perhaps this is one reason I found it so upsetting.

But I did want Bobbart to know that I too felt the same distress. However, Bobbart, I hope that, on reflection, you will keep writing. Our fandom cannot afford to lose good writers, at least, in my opinion.

Over the many years I have been writing my stories, there have been readers who disliked 'family or kid' fics, but I have kept writing, mainly because this is my forte. While I will never generate the amounts of fdk as some other genres, I keep going because I derive a great deal of pleasure continuing the saga of Lois and Clark.

I suppose what I'm trying to say, in a very clumsy and long-winded way, is that writers can't please every reader all the time, but that every writer must follow where their muse takes them. Readers, too, should feel free to leave comments, good or bad, but, hopefully, without being too hurtful.

Yours Jenni

I was bothered by how easily Ellen Lane slipped back into the bottle. But with her there and Lucy flaking and Clark walking away, Lois's already poor relationship with her father, there is really no one to be there for her.

Clark and Perry both did the wrong thing in letting things go, perhaps nothing can be done, on the other hand if no one is pushing to find out, there may be all sorts of help available.

After all the L&C Verse is one where they are able to clone people !!!

However that said, it is clear that Terry wants this ending and it is his tale.

Perhaps he would allow others to try their hand at writing sequels to this tale.? Much like all those evil Tank endings of years gone by.

Picture Sam confronting Perry and Clark about the change in his daughter. As a Doctor he might find himself tightly focused on reversing the change. Spending years researching it and helping thousands of others if not Lois herself.

I’ve finally managed to read this story and I just wanted to say: wow!

In this, and I suppose in pretty much all fandoms, it’s so tempting to always go down the happy ending route; after all, isn’t that the ending we all really want? But sometimes it can get a little tedious to read fics knowing that it’ll all end happily ever after. I’ve recently come to the conclusion that the best romances tend to be those with a tragic ending – Romeo and Juliet perhaps being the classic example - and this fic certainly has that heart-breaking quality. Well done, Terry, not only for your excellent writing and brilliant story, but also for being brave enough to post this story.

And, for the record, I’m not a fan of WHAM warnings. This fic would not have had such a big impact if you have given the sort of warning suggested by some FoLCs, and I think that would have been a great shame. The warning you did give seemed perfectly adequate to me, but then I would have been happy had you not given any warning at all.

- Alisha (heading back to Lurksville, but still reading...)

Alisha Knight said:

I wasn't going to comment on this fic any more, but Alisha's post prompts me to add something.

I agree with Alisha that Romeo and Juliet is indeed the one of the best romances ever, and that it owes much of its greatness to its tragic ending. But there is much more to Romeo and Juliet than the ending of their story. Like all Shakespeare tragedies, their story is a relentlessly logical one. The protagonists break the rules of their society, and therefore their story must end tragically. In Romeo and Juliet's case, the rule they break is that they must have nothing to do with each other, because their families hate each other. That is a situation that is heartbreakingly familiar to many young people in many parts of the world.

But Romeo and Juliet fall in love so passionately that they are willing to break the rules for the sake of their love. That, too, is something that many young couples in many countries will recognize.

Romeo and Juliet both risk their lives. Romeo risks his life when he breaks into the Capulets' garden just so he can look at Juliet. He risks his life when he, after his secret marriage to his beloved, spends the night in her bedroom.

Juliet most certainly risks her life when she drinks the potentially deadly potion that the priest brings her. That situation, when Juliet drinks the potion so that she will appear dead, is very similar to what Lois does, when she asks Superman to freeze her so that she will appear to be dead.

But Juliet and Lois agree to become almost-dead for different reasons. Juliet wants to escape an enforced marriage to a man she doesn't love, so that she can escape with her loved one, Romeo. Her motives are logically driven by (selfish) love and her own needs, in contrast to Lois, who is driven purely by altruism. Clark's parents mustn't die! Also, it is more obvious that Juliet will escape her enforced marriage by appearing dead than it is that Lois will save Clark's parents by appearing dead.

When Romeo hears a rumor that Juliet is dead, he procures a deadly poison so that he can kill himself, if the rumor proves to be true. He will not live on without his loved one! When he finds her and believes that she is dead, he does indeed drink the deadly poison. Juliet wakes up and finds Romeo dead, and she promptly commits suicide, too.

Now compare Clark's behaviour with Romeo's behaviour. Where are the similarities? Clark freezes Lois, even though he must realize that the consequences could be dire. Imagine that Romeo would, say, bury Juliet alive and hopefully dig her out again before she died so that he could save his parents! That sounds contrived, doesn't it? Also, it seems unthinkable to me that Romeo would deliberately risk Juliet's life, considering the fact that he loved her more than life itself.

What are Clark's reasons for freezing Lois? Either he is the sort of meek person who can't say no to the woman he loves (I'm sorry, officer, I know I froze her, but she did ask me to do it, scout's honor), or else he truly did prefer his parents over her (Okay, Juliet, if you say so, I'll bury you and it may kill you, but I hope it will save my parents).

Romeo killed himself when he thought Juliet was dead. Clark, in my opinion, didn't seem overly distressed by what had happened to Lois in Terry's fic, other than that it was a strain for him to have to work with such a bitch, and it was a relief to him when she quit. Maybe Countrygurl74 summed it up best:

Yes, indeed. So this was not much of a classic tragedy. Rather it was a story of an altruistic woman who had her character destroyed when she risked her life to save her beloved's parents, and it was a story of her former beloved washing his hands off of her, when she suffered a personality change due to the life-threatening freezing he had subjected her too.

I just wanted to point out that Terry's story should not in any way be compared to Shakespeare's classic tragedy.

I think the main difference between Shakespeare's tragedy and Terry's fic is that Shakespeare wrote about mutual love. Terry's fic is about one-sided love - Lois's love for Clark - a love that is horribly disappointed, and therefore it is turned into its opposite. Lois loved Clark so much that she was willing to die for his parents. But there is little if anything in Terry's fic to suggest that Clark truly loved her back. When Lois discovers that Clark (or Superman) thinks so little of her that he is willing to sacrifice her for his parents' sake, she is so disappointed in him and in Superman (who to her was the ultimate symbol of good) that she doesn't believe in the forces of good in the world anymore. Altruism and goodness have let her down, and she no longer believes in those concepts.

When I look at it that way, then Terry's fic makes sense to me.

Ann

My teenage daughter - who is an accomplished writer herself (you can look it up at her account on fictionpress.com) - read most of the feedback in this thread, especially some of the latter posts. As she read further, her face appeared more and more astonished. Finally she turned to me and asked, "What do you say to that?"

I didn't know. I still don't know.

Writers anticipate emotional reactions to their stories. If there is no reaction, then the story didn't touch the reader. And I can tell by the feedback that this story touched a number of readers.

But hey, y'all, let's remember that these are fictional characters. They aren't real, except in our own vivid imaginations. And while I love playing in this wonderful sandbox as much as anyone else does, you can't let my sand castles discourage you from building your own. The sandbox is big enough for all kinds of architectural preferences.

If I write a story where a major character dies, I will post a WHAM warning. (I have, in fact, done that.) And from now on, if I write a story where Clark and Lois don't end up together at the end for any reason, I will post a MAJOR BUMMER warning. This I promise. I hope that will be sufficient for all concerned.

Thanks to all who have posted feedback, no matter the tone or content. Let me state here that I do not feel as if I have been insulted or flamed by any of these comments. Surprised, yes; insulted, no. I hope we can all feel this free and remain this cordial when giving feedback on the stories here, even when they don't match up with our personal preferences.

Well, after a long time, my 0.02$ to this story.

At first, like so many other readers, I expected that something would somehow change Lois back to the person we all know and love. Yet, that didn't happen.

Despite the sad content, I really enjoyed reading this story. It was well-written, and had more than its fair share wistful, heartwrenching and agonizing moments. (What was the definition for WHAM? Oh, right. Exactly that.) And yet, it was gripping and making us (foolish) FoLCs hope for a happy ending. The fact that we couldn't expect one became abundantly clear in the course of the story, and yet, I couldn't wait to see how it would continue.

Terry, I wouldn't mind if you went on in that vein, after all, just about everybody else writes the happy-ever-after stuff. (Or at least allows for a HEA-ending.) I think we have more than just enough of that, and we can do with a little bit more of the other genres. Lately, I've started perusing the archive again, and just about every story I remember reading before falls in the category, "Well, I enjoyed it last time, but it's just one more of those WAFFy stories".

Don't get me wrong, WAFFy stories are great, and I love many of them. Still, only reading those stories is like a diet consisting only of sugar. In the end, you will get sick of or from it. Besides, getting a good fix of something else does help me to appreciate the next sugary-sweet story more.

Well, I didn't feeel I should comment again, but I have to speak in defense of that poor, maligned genre - the "waffy" story. Nothing wrong with such a story when it delves a bit into character exploration and development, solid narrative with perhaps a bit of darkness or also a bit humour - it's the complexity that makes for an interesting story.

A story that comes across as merely 'sweet' is probably not particularly well-written (unless it's one of those charming, and actually very difficul-to- write- well, one or two page vignettes). So it's a bit of an apples and oranges comparison to compare that sort of with Terry's fic.

As well, it's not an 'either or or' choice - there's a range of fics out there, and we can't perhaps assume that someone who was a tad distressed by this fic prefers only sweet waffy fics. It may well be that they don't like those especially either. Maybe they only like Vampire-Clark fics <g>

But what matters for many of us is that the characters of *both* Clark Kent and Lois Lane be handled with respect and integrity, - that issue is perhaps what lies beneath some of the concerns (although clearly not all) in the comments on this thread. I did not get the impression that people were saying they preferred only waffy stories, in fact. Only that they didn't want one of the toys broken at the end.

Thanks, Terry, for adding a note about your future intent to include warnings. I'll be one of those who will appreciate that.

carol (fan of Lois Lane, as well as Clark Kent - but you knew that didn't you )

Maybe my comment will be considered superfluous at this point, in which case I apologize in advance. However, I believe I can shed some light on one of the many reasons people's reactions to this story are so surprising to you, Terry.

While it's true that a great majority of the stories in this fandom feature happy endings and/or WAFFy contents, I don't think the conclusion should be that most people here dislike any story lacking either or both of those. I've come across a fair amount of L&C stories featuring liberal amounts of WHAM angst, character deaths and broken-toy situations, and yes, even the occasional not-quite-happily ever after. Some of those were, IMHO, stellar examples of good fan fiction; some not so much.

Knowing this, you'll understand that for me, the most important measure of quality in fan fiction has nothing to do with the way the story ends, or with the amount of warm and fuzzy feelings it generates. The most important question, to my mind, is whether the story stays *fundamentally* true to the characters I've come to know (and love) on the show.

To be clear, this is not a simple yes or no question. A fan-written story that puts its characters in front of one roadblock after another, but never allows them to grow and evolve, and thereby break free from the basic behavioral templates established for them on the show, is almost never a worthwhile story. Hence the emphasis on *fundamentally*. The other extreme isn't good either, though. A story that allows its characters to become unrecognizable (as compared to their TV counterparts) may well make for good fiction, but it almost never makes for good fanfic.

In short, what we should all be aiming for when writing fanfic, I think, is a kind of 'continuity in discontinuity'. As fanfic readers, we don't want to be bored to death reading things we've seen on TV already, so a certain amount of growth and change will certainly be welcomed. We do, however, want to recognize the people we are reading about.

In essence, we recognize Clark Kent as the man who loves Lois Lane, and Lois Lane as Mad Dog Lane, but with a soft side hidden beneath the cold and ruthless exterior. People here have argued that in this story, both of those essences are gone. Clark can't really love Lois all that much, if he's washed his hands off of her already, and never really tried to set her straight; and to 'destroy' the Lois we know and love was pretty much the whole idea behind this story.

So what we're left with is a story about two strangers. And many of us *love* reading stories about strangers. But when that's what we want, we don't usually come looking for it on a fanfic board. We have original fiction for that.

In the end, I think the story you are trying to tell here is very worthy of being told. I'm just not sure that writing fan fiction -- in any fandom -- is the right way to do it; and I think that's where a lot of the vocal reactions to this story are coming from.

ETA:

Maybe next time you have a good idea for a story, but writing it in the L&C universe would require major changes to the basic nature of show's characters, you should instead come up with some original characters, and tell the story from their perspectives. If you post it here on the original fiction board, you can be sure I'll read it, because as many people have said, you are a terrific writer, Terry. It's just that not every good story is also a good L&C story.

Moderator visiting: Just a reminder to try to keep comments RELEVANT to the story and not use feedback as a way to slam the author for his choices.

Telling them that their work has nearly driven you from the fandom, or that you wish you hadn't read their story is hurtful. Terry may have a thick skin, but it is not a precedent we want to be setting.

Tact is a good thing -- when you are posting, consider your wording and think about how you would feel if someone said that to you.

Thanks,
Jenn

I have been wanting to post a reply for a few days, but I am not too good at putting my thoughts into words.
Terry, what a great story! I think that any story that creates so much response (both negative and positive)is great.
The fantastic thing about fiction is that, as the author you can take it in any direction you want.
I am a part of the Happily-Ever-After brigade (mostly, anyway), but I was fascinated with where you took Lois, and I thought the ending was very good.

Terry, I want to tell you what a fantatstic story this was. I sat down and read all three parts at once after seeing all of the fdk it generated (curiosity killed the cat ). I can see where someone might have been turned off by it, but I'm all about creativity, even if it is different (or especially if it is different) from the status quo. I feel like you handled the topic very well. This is the first story I have ever read where I actually got the urge to write a sequel to it - I've often read stories and thought about the sequels, but I've never read one where I wanted to take a shot at writing the sequel myself.

I did have a couple of quirks about the story, both pertaining to Clark. First, I feel as if the reader did not get the chance to see him mourning the loss of his Lois, although I can see how evil Lois would make it a little easier for him to move on. Second was that I at one time got the impression that Perry was restraining Clark from hitting/shaking/something Lois. Perhaps this was just a mistake on how I read it, but if it was not, I feel that is a little out of character for Clark, no matter how distraught he is.

Those two issues aside, I am very glad you chose to write and post this story. It was gutsy of you, and I commend you for writing it so well.