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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Finally I had this part all ready to post last night - hit 'Add New Topic' only to discover I had lost my internet connection. Tonight ... same thing. However, it's posted. Finally!!!
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
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Wow! Double WOW! This was so beautifully written. I could quote all of it. It was wonderful, sweet, romantic, lovely and just all around feel good part. I love how Kal proposed. Anyway this whole chapter left in feeling so good, as I get up from being a puddle of goo. Just lovely. Of course now I want more. Soon. Please. Kathy www.chili-everyway.com Have it your way, every way
robinson
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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I need a fan! Wow that was beautiful and sexy and hot! I loved all of it. Every emotion and every motion in the right direction. I have been feeling crappy all day but this story gave me such a lift. I can not tell you how happy I was to see it here and how much happier I was after reading it. Lovely! More soon. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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The interaction between Kal and Lois in this chapter was adorable, particularly when they exchanged smiles. (And of course, when they acknowledged to each other that they wanted to do what they had seen in that diagram with each other.) I really liked this: He had wanted it so much, he had wondered how he could survive if Lois wouldn't marry him.
But he hadn't even understood the fullness of what he'd been asking.
But now … he did.
And his mind was blown to tiny, little pieces.
*Now* he was wondering how he was going to survive waiting. Well, wow. Kal hasn't tasted the apple yet, but he can already imagine the heavenly-earthy flavor of it. Personally however, I'm still a bit troubled about the bigamy thing. What I really fret about is whether Kal understands what his marriage to Za means to Lois. I get the impression that Kal doesn't realize that Lois rejected his proposal seven times solely because of his marriage to Za. I think Kal believes that she rejected him because of him, because she found him inadequate in some way. But now that she has accepted his proposal she has learnt to love him the way he is, and then there is no problem any more. He thinks. But there is. Kal's marriage to Za won't go away. I'm reminded of the biblical story of Jacob and his two wives, Leah and Rachel. Leah is to Jacob what Za is to Kal, the woman he married not by choice, but because someone else had decided that this marriage had to be. Jacob doesn't love Leah and Kal doesn't love Za. Also, Leah is Jacob's first wife, just like Za is Kal's first wife. Jacob loves Rachel, and Kal loves Lois. After he had married Leah Jacob was allowed to marry Rachel, and after he had married Za Kal will probably be able to marry Lois. Leah must have been unhappy with her marriage to Jacob, and she must have had a constant ache in her heart because her husband didn't love her. What does Za feel about her marriage to Kal? Leah bore Jacob six sons. After she had given birth to the sixth one, she thought to herself: "Now my husband must love me, because I have born him six sons." Rachel remained infertile for a long time, and that caused her a lot of sadness. Presumably it made her feel jealous of Leah, too. After some years, however, she gave birth to Joseph, and then some years later to her youngest, Benjamin. But like so many other women during the annals of time, Rachel died in childbirth as she gave birth to Benjamin. I think the story of Leah and Rachel is a tragedy. I hope that Lois will fare better than Leah and Rachel did. Ann
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Awww, I'm just a puddle of goo. That was sweet. Once again, I'm heading out the door and don't have time for proper feedback, but I wanted to let you know I read it and I like it.
"Hold on, my friends, to the Constitution and to the Republic for which it stands. Miracles do not cluster and what has happened once in 6,000 years, may not happen again. Hold on to the Constitution" - Daniel Webster
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Features Writer
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Features Writer
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I will and always be a big fan of Lois and Clark forever and forever.
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
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Sorry you had such trouble posting this part, Corrina, but I'm sure glad that you did. It was lovely to see Kal's reaction to Lois' acceptance of his marriage proposal and wonderful to see them discuss physical intimacy. It's refreshing to listen in on their dialogue because they've been more direct with each other about their feelings - probably due to the cultural differences between them. Even when they were discussing topics that were embarrassing or difficult, they persevered. Maybe we should all have translators installed so we can understand one another better. Ann said: What does Za feel about her marriage to Kal? Probably the same way that Kal feels about his marriage to Za: detached in the way that regal nobles feel toward their birth spouses. Maybe she even feels a little resentful or trapped, depending on whether she's developed feelings for Ching. Unfortunately, we don't yet know anything about Za. One thing is known: that regal nobles have children with their concubines. So a physically intimate relationship between one man and multiple women is the norm. Who knows if calling it a "marriage" will generate anything but a shoulder shrug? “If I were an Earth man, would I understand why you changed your mind about marrying me?”
“Probably not.” As always, I love to see the little nuggets dropped about Nor and his evil plans (along with Lois and Kal's suspicions - I'm so glad they've started talking about him!), as well as the continued search for water. So, Nor has been supportive of the plan to drill for water, but one of the machines has broken. Hmmm. Sounds like Nor is working behind the scenes to make sure Kal doesn't succeed. It's time for Kal to walk with Lois with her newly acquired x-ray vision to find those underground aquifers. Then they'll only need one working drill. Waiting (im)patiently for the next part, Brenda
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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That was one of the most romantic scenes I've seen in a long time. Very well done, Corrina! I'm sorry you had trouble posting, though it's good to know I wasn't crazy (or alone) in hitting refresh a thousand times yesterday, LOL. There is so much I can say about this chapter -- incredibly romantic and satisfying, and the discussion about what they will do after they are married ... yowsa, fabulous way to turn up the heat without them *doing* anything at all! -- but I think this line sums it all up: “Because, together, we are more than enough.” This is a wonderful take on "Being with you is stronger than me alone" and I just love the way you've worded it. Great job. OK, so now that the mushy stuff is over , are we going to find out more about what Nor is planning? His two week deadline is drawing ever closer. I, too, suspect that he has had something to do with the drill breaking -- the one that was about to be successful, perhaps? I'm not sure how long it will be before Lois learns to fly (which might only panic the people of NK anyway were they to see her), but she certainly could use her vision to see where the water is hiding. Perhaps when she and Kal visit the cliffs, so that she might have a sweeping view of the whole region? (Though I can't deny I'm worried that these might be the same cliffs that Kip "accidentally" fell from and I hope someone doesn't try to make Kal and Lois meet a similar fate!) More, please! This continues to be an absolutely addicting story.
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
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Originally posted by KathyB: I'm not sure how long it will be before Lois learns to fly... (Though I can't deny I'm worried that these might be the same cliffs that Kip "accidentally" fell from and I hope someone doesn't try to make Kal and Lois meet a similar fate!)
Hm... seems those two might go together . Fabulous! More soonest!
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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Hee, I was thinking that, too, Carol!
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 5,797 |
Okay, I won't keep insisting on bigamital troubles! So the drill is broken, eh? Wonder how long it will be for Lois to discover that she makes a perfect drill. Maybe after Nor has pushed her off a cliff, which, however, will make her go "splash" rather than "splat"? Ann
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2009
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AMAZING!!!!!! This was the best part yet and that was a difficult task. I had a silly grin on my face the entire way through. It was just beautiful. And you treated us to a nice long part too. The whole thing was so L&K as we've come to know them, with their honesty, adorable awkwardness and complete love and trust of one another. I almost had tears in my eyes. Who knows what I'll be like if we get to the wedding! The way you wrote the reading of the letter was perfect. I had been looking forward to that bit. I stayed up reading it last night (my final check before bed!!) but had no time for FDK (not my length FDK anyway!!) So... Lois glanced up from her letter.
Kal stared at her, eyes alight, mouth curved into the most seductive grin she had ever seen – its power enhanced immeasurably by his complete ignorance of its potency. His chin sat in the cleft of his hand, thumb along one tantalising jaw-line, fingers clustered around the other.
He showed no inclination to move any time soon. Boy can I picture this!! Wonderful imagery. This is where I started smiling and I didn't stop. I think I was actually smiling from when I saw you'd posted but anyway... “Absolutely,” he said with rolling emphasis. “I’m just taking a few moments to enjoy what is inside me. I have never felt this good. Never.” I love how he phrases this. It is so Kal. Adorably sincere. Kal dropped his hand from his face and straightened against the bed-head. “Lois, I understand why you wouldn’t agree to marry me ... and I know we have to work out many things ... but please know that even if you say ‘yes’ to my question, I will never force you into anything you aren’t comfortable with.” I love how he is so keen to always emphasise this. I think it has partly to do with his lack of experience, he is so afraid of doing or saying the wrong thing or his actions being perceived wrongly. Also, now more than ever the idea of upsetting Lois terrifies him. Their fists thudded into their chests with soft harmony. In Kal’s unwavering eyes, Lois could see the gravity and the significance of this action. “Have you ever done that before?” she asked. “With clenched fists from both people?” This was a great idea of Kal's and was so symbolic of how he is moving away from what he has always been taught, not that he has ever believed himself superior. “My culture touts the ideal that all people are born equal.”
“That is a very good ideal,” Kal said. “But it is not the Kryptonian way.” He continued caressing her hand. “With you it is different ... *you* are different.” Kal has a very idealistic view of earth, viewing it as a place full of love, happiness and people like Lois! “That is a wonderful thing. The best thing.” Kal smiled. “Lois, I love you,” he said. “Without you, I wouldn’t even know of love. With you, my heart is full of love. I know there will never be a single moment that I will not love you.” He smiled, a little hesitantly. “Will you marry me?” This is in a way so simple, but sounds so genuine, he just saying exactly what he feels, which is what Lois told him to do. She grinned. “It didn’t actually say the bit about you asking me to marry you again.”
“It didn’t?”
“No.”
“Was that a joke?”
“Not a joke exactly,” Lois said. “More an impulsive moment.” I just love the gentle, easy, flowing tone of their dialogue, it is so natural. Now you can really feel how at ease they are, and how much they have come to understand one another despite the obvious barriers. “If I were an Earth man, would I understand why you changed your mind about marrying me?”
“Probably not.”
Kal grinned. “That’s good, then.” It's so sweet how he's always trying to match up to earth men. He has no idea what a catch he is. He is so humbled by the fact that Lois wants to be with him. With a smile that splashed further fuel onto the fire raging inside him, Lois dropped her eyes to the paper and began to read. “Dear Kal, I love you. I love you so much, I cannot imagine living without you.”
“I could not live without you,” Kal declared with certainty. I love the way Kal answers the letter as she reads, and does so so seriously, considering every word. Lois looked at him. “The next bit of the letter is sad.”
“I want to hear it,” Kal said eagerly. “I want to know everything you feel – even when it isn’t good.” He is so eager to know everything about her and share in the bad and good, further emphasising that he does understand what it truly means to love someone and commit to them. “I thought you didn’t want to marry me,” Kal said. “It felt like you would never want to marry me.” Poor Kal. But she wanted to keep on giving to him. “I ... you ... I never ...” Kal gave up trying to find the words that could do any sort of justice to what he was feeling. He lifted her hand and tenderly kissed it, hoping Lois would understand.
She did. She smiled. “Because a relationship changes when you do that,” Lois said. “It’s like it moves into a new phase and there can be no going back.”
“I wouldn’t want to go back,” Kal said with certainty. Again, Kal is so matter-of-fact. I love it. It's interesting that Lois doesn't touch on one of the fundemental points, the chance if they did that she may get pregnant. We've no idea, nor has she, if New Krypton has such thing as contraceptives and would they want to use them anyway? Much as I'm sure Lois would be happy to have children with Kal, I can't imagine she would want to get pregnant until things were a little more settled. She smiled. “Once we are married, we will do that,” she said. She is quite certain about this. I know she loves and desires Kal but, as I said, is she ready to get pregnant? If, of course, they are compatible. As if Kal wasn't keen enough to get married already, then she throws that into the mix! Of course, it's hardly shocking to us that she'd agree to 'physical contact' after marriage, but Kal hadn't dared let himself hope she would let him. “Thank you, Lois,” Kal said. “That is such a beautiful letter. I will want to read it again and again. Would you mind if I keep it? So that one day I can read it for myself?”
She offered it to him and Kal folded it with the utmost care and placed it in the pocket of his jacket. Aww, it means so much to him. Apparently ... they were *waiting After seeing Kal's reaction, suddenly Lois isn't so sure she can wait, if she ever was sure!! She stood and grinned at him. “Do your plans stop now I’ve agreed to marry you?”
He grinned back. “Not at all. This is just the beginning.” Hee, hee, I'd forgotten about his grand plan. “I thought I’d show you the cliffs to the east of New Krypton.” I agree with the others, this sounds like a bit of a dubious idea, but if it is as we think, no doubt another power will reveal itself in the nick of time. Kal felt the beginnings of his answering smile – but it didn’t have the time to develop before his mouth became fully occupied with a lingering, moving kiss. A 'moving kiss', I still love that phrase! As he kissed her, Kal understood – fully understood – why Lois had wanted to hold him, but felt she couldn’t. Kissing her, kissing her knowing it was the beginning of so much more, was like standing very close to a raging fire. It warmed you ... wonderfully ... but you knew that eventually, you had to move away, or you would get burned.
Kal didn’t want to move away.
He wanted to be burned. Oooh, not long now Kal - I hope!! You described this wonderfully. “I want to marry you quickly,” he said. “Within days.”
She seemed a little surprised by that, but then smiled. “Good idea.” Why is she surprised, he's so eager and excited. He proposed eight times!! Phew! What a part! Laurach said: I need a fan! Wow that was beautiful and sexy and hot! I loved all of it. Every emotion and every motion in the right direction. I have been feeling crappy all day but this story gave me such a lift. I can not tell you how happy I was to see it here and how much happier I was after reading it. Lovely! More soon. This describes exactly how I felt last night, this story is a great cure for all ills and general stresses of life! And it was very hot in places, even though it was in essence so innocent. KathyB said: I'm sorry you had trouble posting, though it's good to know I wasn't crazy (or alone) in hitting refresh a thousand times yesterday, LOL. No, that was definitely me too, the withdrawal symptons had started, and that is the biggest one! Em
"There's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy" - CK to LL(Madame Ex)
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
Happy part! Apparently ... they were *waiting*. See, that's what you get for not spelling it out more clearly for him. Now you have to wait until you can begin to train your boy-toy. “I thought I’d show you the cliffs to the east of New Krypton.” The same ones where Tek's father got sent over? “I want to marry you quickly,” he said. “Within days.” Yes, good idea. They probably should just find the next chapel, an Elvis imitator, and two witnesses. Of course, given the current state of affairs on NK, a long honeymoon probably won't happen. Poor Clark. He will not be all too pleasant to deal with during the first water meeting after their wedding. Michael
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Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Aug 2007
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I agree with you, Ann, that the story of Jacob and his wives is tragic. I'm not as worried for Za, though. There are some key differences between Za's story and Leah's. For one thing, Jacob was tricked into marrying Leah, and Leah knew it. So Leah knew that Jacob only married her because he thought she was Rachel. She knew from the beginning that Jacob loved Rachel and not her. Another difference is that Kal and Za don't know each other. We have no idea whether Za wishes that Kal loved her the way Leah wished that Jacob lover her. For all we know, Za has reliable contraception and is having a secret affair with Ching. After all, if it's the norm for Kryptonian noble women not to live with their husbands we can only assume that they have developed a culture of discretely taking a lover on the side. Leah, on the other hand, had grown up with her handsome, charming, scheming older cousin in the same household. Then he went and fell for her younger sister. How humiliating! I also think that Kal realizes that Za was the problem, especially after hearing Lois's letter. I'm pretty sure he's determined to find a way around it. Beautiful part, Corrina! I loved all of it. I remember thinking "Well, he's definitely awake now!" A nice detail was Kal's thought about the intimacy of Lois's touch on his chest. There are so many little touches like that that are not really sexual but are nonetheless intimate. They happen between spouses, but also in other close relationships like a parent and child. And, yes, they are a huge part of the bonding process. Wise foster parents know how to use those kinds of touches to help a child bond with them--holding hands, brushing hair, rubbing or patting a back, besides the more obvious hugs and kisses, all contribute to the feeling that 'I belong with this person and I'm safe with them.' Nice work. Looking forward to seeing Kal and Lois take on the world.
This *is* my happily ever after.
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
I have *very* little time, but just wanted to thank you all for the wonderful FDK. Whenever I have worries about a part, someone seems to write something that tells me I didn't need to worry. I worried because this part was the third that covered ONE date. I considered shortening it in case the readers began to feel the story had stalled. I worried that going through the ENTIRE letter was too much - and that in some ways it got repetitive - apparently not. To those who said this part made their day better - thank you. I love writing, but if no one else gets any enjoyment from what I do, it becomes a fairly self-centred pursuit. I always feel when someone says a part helped them through a bad day. Sorry, have to go. Not sure when 21 will hit the boards. I have to get 23 to Iolanthe first. With much appreciation to everyone who left comments, Corrina.
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Merriwether
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Merriwether
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I worried that going through the ENTIRE letter was too much - and that in some ways it got repetitive The funny thing about this is that, at the end of part 19, I wondered, "Is Lois going to read the whole letter to him in the story, or will FH just summarize it 'off screen' since we've already seen the contents?" From an author's standpoint, I was trying to decide how I would do it -- on one hand, the letter was several chapters ago and you wouldn't want your readers to have to search for it to refresh their memories (which I would have done). Yet on the other, you don't want to repeat something that long in case it might bore your audience. But you found the perfect solution -- you had Lois read the letter out loud, while interjecting not just the occasional comment on Kal's part, but entire conversations between sections. It's not a solution that is instantly apparent, so major kudos to you for seeing it and putting it into play. It's a very clever way of reminding your readers what was in the letter (which was necessary) while still keeping everything moving along and feeling fresh. Really well done. Kathy
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Columnist
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Columnist
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Hi,
I have finally caught up with all the parts of this story and have to say congratulations for writing such an interesting premise.
I love the role reversal in this story, and I find the history of Kal-El so tragic, yet his innocence is so endearing.
I can understand why feisty, independent Lois Lane would find Kal's combination of intelligence, compassion and naivety completely enthralling.
I'm now waiting eagerly for the next part. I just know Nor has planned something very evil for Kal-El, and I hope that 'super' Lois can save the day.
Yours Jenni
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 483 Likes: 6 |
I'm a bit late again for the FDK-party ...
I think everything important is said, another great part.
Can't wait for the next part.
Kathryn
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,181 Likes: 29 |
Thanks for all the FDK.
I've had very little time to write the past few days, but I just sent 23 to Iolanthe.
It is possible I will get the time to polish 21 today and best case, post it tonight.
If not, tomorrow night.
Sorry for the delay
Corrina.
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Hack from Nowheresville
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Hack from Nowheresville
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 153 |
Yay I'll look forward to it. It's completely understandable if you struggle to post while you're on your travels. I'm surprised you're managing to write at all with so much going on. Just keep enjoying yourself and we'll try to be patient. It's always the first thing I check for when I turn the computer on though!! Em
"There's a fine line between brilliance and lunacy" - CK to LL(Madame Ex)
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