Sorry, Sarah – I did warn you that Clark was going to hurt Lois.
As always, a huge thanks to Carol for being willing to read this even though the versions she gets are much messier than this.
From Chapter 41
“It scares me a little,” Lois admitted. “I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt. I don't deal well with secrets, Clark,” she said, looking up at me. “Whatever came between you and Maddie… I worry it will come between us too if you don't trust me with it.”
“I'd never knowingly hurt you,” I said. It was a half hearted reply, I knew. But I couldn't promise not to keep it from her. I knew I would. Still, some part of me wondered - could I tell her the truth? I almost wanted to. I had the feeling that if anyone could accept me as I was, it was Lois.
I wasn't ready yet, though.
“I know,” she whispered. “But that doesn't mean you won't.”
I didn't reply and we let the sound of the music fill the room once more.
Chapter 42
I could feel the heat on my skin as I rose up once again. I knew what I was doing was risky, but for some reason it didn't feel that way. It felt right. Like I was doing what I was meant to be doing.
“Thank you,” the woman said as I sat her on the ground.
“You're welcome,” I said. My voice was different than normal – stronger, less unsure. More formal, too.
I felt myself give the woman a smile before I rose up into the air again. That, too, felt different. I felt more graceful than normal. The way I felt when I flew over the cornfields back home. Nothing like the stilted jerky movements I made over Metropolis, always looking down, making sure no one was watching, I moved as if it didn't matter that this woman was in plain sight.
I saw the lava rushing down the street. I could hear the sounds of the volcano going off although it was miles away, and over that the sounds of the heartbeats, racing, as people moved frantically, trying to outrun the molten earth coming towards them.
“Over here. Please help!” a young man cried, looking right up at me.
I swooped down and picked him up in one arm, his neighbor in the other, bringing them both to rest beside the woman I had saved moments before.
“Thank you,” they said. I smiled at them both before flying back to where the people were still in danger.
I sat up straight in bed, looking around me in surprise. I could hear Steve snoring a few feet away. That dream had felt so real. I looked at my clothes closely in the darkness. I hadn't just been at the scene of an erupting volcano, had I?
I hadn't. I breathed a sigh of relief. Dad would have killed me if I had been using my abilities out in the open like that.
************************
I woke up hours later feeling disoriented. How long had I been asleep since I came back from the volcano? What was it that woke me anyway?
The shrill ringing of the phone cut into my thoughts, and I realized that was what had woken me up. As I leaned over to grab it I realized Steve was already gone for the day. I guess I had slept in a bit after the rescue last night. It was only just before I brought the phone up to my mouth that I remembered that the volcano rescue had been a dream.
“Hi,” I said quietly, still feeling a bit discombobulated.
“Hi,” Lois' voice came over the line. “Are you free for lunch?”
“I think so, why?” I answered while trying to remember what day it was. Why did I feel so confused? I shook my head. It was just that dream. It had felt so real, even now, hours later.
“I got a call from Professor Matthews. We're supposed to meet today at noon to get the results of the hearing. Can we get together after that?”
“Sure.” I said. “Do you want me to come with you?”
“No,” Lois said. “You have class. I'll see you afterwards.”
“Okay,” I told her. “I'm sure the news is good,” I reassured her.
“I'm not even sure what good is,” she confided. “I want them to believe us, but I'm not sure I want this to destroy Paul's life.”
“It won't,” I assured her. “I'm guessing they'll throw him off the paper, but he can probably still put his work as editor on a resume. Who's going to check to see why he stopped? He can just say he was too busy to finish off his senior year.”
“Yeah,” Lois replied, not sounding completely convinced. “I'll see you later?”
“Good luck,” I told her as I hung up. Glancing at the clock, I realized it was only nine o'clock. I still had an hour and a half left before my class started. I swung my legs out of bed, deciding that a shower was in order.
************************
I wasn't sure where the news came from – I normally turned off my hearing thing when I was in class, but this one seemed to pass right through the “off switch”. Maybe it was because I was distracted with thoughts of the disciplinary hearing. Maybe it was because it was a volcanic eruption like my dream, but something made me hear it.
The eruption was in Japan and near a town called Shari. I'd never heard of Shari before, but clearly the fact that the volcano was near a town meant there were people in danger.
I considered ignoring it – I was supposed to meet Lois in two hours, and I'd need to run out of class. I remembered my promise to my parents that I wouldn't let the Boy in Black stuff distract me from class. Still, there had to be a reason this natural disaster made it past my normal filter.
Hoping Mom and Dad would forgive me, and Lois, too, if I didn't get back before I was supposed to meet her for lunch, I packed up my bag and slipped out the back of the lecture hall. Running at a speed that was just slow enough not to attract attention, I went back to my room to drop off my stuff and spin into my black clothes.
I was off of campus and in the sky above Metropolis inside of ten minutes. It took me another ten minutes to locate Shari. I really needed to improve my geography skills. I had flown straight to Tokyo thinking I'd see the smoke from the volcano and that would guide me, but as I got closer and closer to Tyoko, I started to panic. I didn't see smoke anywhere. I rose up higher over Japan and finally spotted it. It turns out Shari is not even on the same island as Tokyo and is thus quite a bit north. I hadn't even realized that Japan was made up of more than one island.
I promised myself I would buy an atlas and study it in the next week as I swooped down. People were panicking. I had heard earlier that Mount Io hadn't erupted since 1936. It wasn't clear whether it was now thought to be dormant or if people had just started to feel safe due to the many years without activity. Not that I'd have any way of finding out. Japanese was not among the languages I had grasped to any real degree. I could say thank you and goodbye, but that was about it.
Swooping down, I landed a few miles away from the people. What was it I was going to do? I think I had come here with images from my dream in my head, but clearly that wasn't what I was planning on. Was it? No! I wasn't going to let everyone know there was a person out there who could fly.
So what was I going to do? These people weren't going to be packing up their things. They didn't have time for that. So what could I do? Nothing. I was completely useless. I should just go back home. Only I couldn't. I needed to do something.
With a sigh, I ran into town and followed one of the emergency vehicles. I'd go to where ever they were taking the residents, and see what I could do. Could I do anything without knowing Japanese? This whole trip may have been a colossal waste of time.
I arrived at the tent where they were dropping people off and went inside. “Excuse me,” I said to the first person I saw.
“Nihongo o hanashimasu ka?” the person said, or asked. I wasn't sure which.
“Um… Do you speak English?” I asked her.
“Aiko-san Eigo hanashimasu,” the woman said, pointing at another woman a few feet away.
Not having any idea what she said, I went over to the woman. “Excuse me,” I said again.
“Hello,” the woman replied.
“Do you speak English?” I asked her.
“Yes. Can I help you?” she asked.
“I was actually hoping I could help you,” I told her. “My name is Clark. I heard about the volcano, and hoped I could do something to help.”
“Hello,” she smiled at me. “My name is Minako Aiko. Give me a second and I'm sure we can find something for you to do.”
I smiled at her. “Thank you, Minako.” I caught sight of a man a few feet away giving me a dirty look. “Did I do something wrong?” I asked Minako.
She smiled at me warmly. “No,” she said, glancing at the man I had seen. “It's just… well, in Japanese culture we don't use our given names often. Most people call me Aiko-san.”
I nodded. “I'm sorry, Aiko-san.”
“You didn't know,” she smiled at me. “When did you arrive in Japan?”
“Today,” I told her, trying to find a way to end the conversation quickly. I wanted to avoid lying if at all possible. “Well, I'll go stand over there, out of your way. Just let me know what I can do.”
“Just give me a minute,” she told me.
I wondered if I could get a book on different cultural norms to study as well as an atlas. I should probably know things like the fact that the Japanese don't use first names. And the “san” thing. Was it always added to the end of their last names? Was it just for women? I had no idea.
A moment later, Aiko-san motioned to me.
I walked over to her. “We need help handing out food. That won't require you to know any Japanese. I'm pairing you with Yakasu-san. He knows a little English, so should be able to help you.”
************************
It was eight o'clock by the time I got back onto campus. I wasn't sure how I felt. I wished I had done more – there were nearly one-hundred deaths due to people who hadn't managed to get out of their homes in time. I could have saved those people if I had been willing to use my abilities openly. As it was, I was glad I had stayed, but still felt like my help had been paltry compared to what I could have done.
Then, of course, there was Lois. I had stood her up for lunch. Not only was this right after she found out about the disciplinary hearing, but we had just had that discussion two days ago about my keeping secrets from her.
I sighed. I should probably just resign myself to the fact that my relationship with Lois was over. There was no way she had forgotten that we were supposed to meet for lunch. And there was also no way she wasn't going to ask where I had been.
I headed over to Lois' dorm room with a heavy heart. I felt like I should prepare for this conversation, but I couldn't even begin to imagine what she would say. I was too consumed with how badly this had all gone.
I wondered – had it been worth it? Given how little help I had provided in the end, had it been worth the end of my relationship with Lois? I wasn't sure.
“Don't you watch where you're…” I bumped into someone, and she started yelling at me. Her yelling came to an abrupt halt however, when she looked up and took in my face. “Well, there you are.”
“Hi,” I said shyly not sure what to say.
“So.” Lois glanced at her watch. “You're only seven hours late.”
“I'm sorry,” I said meekly.
“Care to tell me where you were?” Lois asked, and there was no mistaking the challenge in her voice.
“I… um…,” I couldn't think of any sort of answer. A complete lie, a half truth, anything would work right now, but I was coming up completely dry.
“I had dinner with Maddie,” Lois said, avoiding my eyes. “It took some prying, but she told me what the problem you guys had was specifically. And I won't put up with it, Clark. I don't know why you wouldn't tell Madde, but you need to tell me now where you were, and why you thought it was more important to be there than at lunch with me.” By the time she had finished, she had stopped avoiding my eyes and had her hands firmly on her hips.
“I… I can't,” I mumbled.
“You can't?” Lois challenged. “What? Do you not know the words to explain it? You're a journalist, Clark. You plan to make your livelihood with words. Use them now!” It was a command more than a statement.
“I told you awhile back that the thing I wouldn't tell Maddie was a family secret,” I started.
“I don't care,” Lois cut me off. “I don't care if it's a secret you're keeping for President Reagan. It made you miss lunch with me. And not just lunch, Clark. Lunch right after I found out about the disciplinary hearing. I deserve to know what was so important that you felt it was appropriate to blow me off, and not even call to tell me you wouldn't be there.”
“How did the meeting with Professor Matthews go?” I asked, hoping it was good news and that would distract her.
“Great. Paul was kicked off the paper, and he was told he could mention his time on the paper as experience in job interviews, but not his time as editor. And not to list anyone at the university as a reference or they would tell anyone who called about his behavior.
“But I don't care about that right now. What I care about is where you were. We just talked about how scared I was that you were going to hurt me with your secret. Did that mean nothing to you?”
“No!” I insisted. “It was… You are very important to me.”
“Not as important as whatever it was you were doing all afternoon,” Lois pointed out.
“If I could explain it to you, you'd understand,” I said, knowing it was true, but that it was completely the wrong thing to say.
“Well, explain it to me then,” she said.
“I can't,” I told her, hating the look in her eyes. They were flashing with anger, but I could see the hurt behind that; could see the tears shimmering on the surface.
“Well then… I can't do this,” Lois said quietly. “I can't date you anymore.”
“Please, Lois,” I said. “Please…”
“Please what?” she asked. “Give you another chance to disappear and blow me off? Give you another chance to break me heart?”
“I…” I trailed off, having no idea of what to say.
“That's what I thought,” Lois said. “Well, the answer is no. I'm not putting up with this. If you want to tell me where you were, please do so now. Otherwise, I have no interest in talking to you about it anymore.”
“I can't,” I said again.
Lois nodded her head at me, ducking it as a tear fell down her cheek. “Okay, then. Good to know. Goodbye, Clark.”
“No,” I said, not sure what I was trying to say. I didn't want her to write me off like this.
“Are you going to tell me where you were?” Lois asked.
“I told you…”
“You can't,” she interrupted me. “I get it. And I told you that means I can't keep dating you.” She looked up at me, her eyes still flashing as tears fell down her cheeks. When I didn't say anything, she spun around and walked away.
