A huge, gigantic thank you to Carol for reading this in all its messy glory.
From Chapter 42
“That's what I thought,” Lois said. “Well, the answer is no. I'm not putting up with this. If you want to tell me where you were, please do so now. Otherwise, I have no interest in talking to you about it anymore.”
“I can't,” I said again.
Lois nodded her head at me, ducking it as a tear fell down her cheek. “Okay, then. Good to know. Goodbye, Clark.”
“No,” I said, not sure what I was trying to say. I didn't want her to write me off like this.
“Are you going to tell me where you were?” Lois asked.
“I told you…”
“You can't,” she interrupted me. “I get it. And I told you that means I can't keep dating you.” She looked up at me, her eyes still flashing as tears fell down her cheeks. When I didn't say anything, she spun around and walked away.
Chapter 43
“I'm sure you can all guess why Professor Matthews is here,” Professor Halkuff said at the start of class the following week. “And for those of you who haven't met him, this is Mr. White, the editor of the Daily Planet, and the man who will ultimately decide which of you gets the Daily Planet internship.”
The room got almost eerily silent. Professor Halkuff always seemed to command respect, and yet I was pretty sure the room had never been this silent before.
“Now, before we announce the two students who will get recommendations this year, we have a couple of things to discuss,” Professor Halkuff said. “Getting one of these recommendations means we see strong talent in your writing. So, if you were not planning to apply for the internship, but are given a recommendation, we urge you to reconsider applying.”
“But if you still decide not to apply,” Professor Matthews cut in, “please let us know. We have chosen the two students who we feel show the most potential right now, but there are several strong writers in this class and more than two of you would do well at the Daily Planet this summer, so we would like to give other strong students the right to a recommendation.”
I looked over at Lois, but she was firmly ignoring me.
“And I urge you to apply even if you don't get a recommendation,” Mr. White said. “While I value the opinions of Professor Matthews and Professor Halkuff, occasionally I receive an application that is superior to one of the two students who were given a recommendation.
“Additionally, this is just your freshman year. I expect many of you will apply for internships next year as well, and I tend to remember the strong applicants from this year.”
“That said,” Professor Halkuff announced, “the students who will be receiving recommendations this year are Lois Lane and Clark Kent.”
“Congratulations, Lois and Clark,” Professor Matthews said looking in our general direction.
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I was surprised by how supportive our classmates were. Many of them came over to congratulate us right after class.
“I knew you two would be the ones to get it,” Cat said to me with a smile. “But I figure I'm going to apply next year, too, so I might as well get some exposure with Mr. White now.”
“Who knows?” I told her. “Maybe you'll get it this year.”
Cat laughed. “I'm pretty sure you and Lois have it all sewn up. I saw your article in the Planet and Lois' in the Titan. I'm pretty good at writing up gossip, but I'm not really an investigative journalist, and you can tell when you compare my writing to yours. But next year there are other internships available.”
“Well, you never know, Cat,” Lois said as she passed by. “You'll probably beat out Clark. He doesn't even have an idea for his article yet.” She shot me a dirty look as she walked out of the room.
“So, I'm guessing the budding romance has died?” Cat smiled at me.
I was still looking after Lois, but shrugged. “I don't imagine it's much of a secret, is it?”
“When she looks at you like that?” Cat asked. “No. I'd say you guys would be more subtle if you took out an ad in the Planet. Are you okay?
I nodded. “I guess. It wasn't a complete surprise.”
“Well then,” Cat took a step closer to me. “Do you want to go to dinner?”
I had still been looking towards the door Lois had just exited, but my head spun around at that. “Um… dinner?”
“Yeah,” Cat smiled. “You know. The meal between lunch and breakfast. I mean if you and Lois are over…”
“We are,” I said quietly, thinking. Cat was right, there was no reason I couldn't go out with her. But I wasn't ready yet. “I don't think…”
“It's okay,” Cat smiled at me, placing a warm hand on my arm. “I get it. It's too soon. Let me know when it's not.”
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Clearly what I should have been doing was trying to think about my topic for the Planet application. I wasn't, however. Instead, I was thinking about Cat. Or more accurately, my reaction to Cat's offer.
It was too soon. And that was fine. I mean, Lois and I had just broken up a week ago. But what if it never felt like it wasn't too soon? I know I felt like that after I broke up with Maddie, too, but it was different this time. It felt different.
I wasn't sure exactly how it felt different, just that it did. It felt like… Like maybe Lois was the person I was meant to be with.
That was ridiculous, though, right? I mean, who meets the person they are supposed to be with when they're eighteen years old. And as much as I loved Maddie, I never really thought she was “the one”. So how could Lois be when I had never been in love with her?
Only… well, Mom and Dad had met when they were eighteen. But Lois and I hadn't even dated very long. Even if for no other reason, I hadn't had time to fall in love with her. Right?
Right?
Right. I was not in love with Lois.
Was I?
No. Clearly not.
But what if I was?
I shook my head. It didn't matter if I was or not. I still wasn't planning to tell her that I had been in Japan, and if I wasn't going to tell her where I had been, she wanted no part of me. Not that I could blame her.
So, clearly I hadn't been in love with her. If she was in love with me, she would be willing to give me another chance, right? And I wasn't willing to be in love with her if she wasn't in love with me. It could work that way, couldn't it?
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I had been avoiding my friends for the past week. I thought it would just be too awkward. Plus, I could hear the barbs now from Alicia about how she knew I was trying to make the rounds, but she was already taken. But I needed to move on. Lois' looks at me during class made it clear she was still more than a little annoyed at me, but I was hoping she could be civil enough for me to join them all for dinner again.
Luckily, when I arrived, only Josh and Steve were there.
“Hey man, how come you didn't mention you and Lois were splitsville?” Steve asked me.
I rolled my eyes, and saw Josh stifle a laugh. “You have all the emotion of a postage stamp,” he said to Steve.
“What? They broke up. Who cares?” Steve asked, looking confused.
“Maybe Clark,” Josh reminded him.
“You don't, though, do you?” Steve asked.
I put my tray down across from Steve, not sure what to say. I did care, although I suspected if I said I did and Lois heard me, she'd point out that it would be easy enough for me to fix things. Besides, it wasn't cool to care, right?
“Aw man,” Steve said, clearly deciding my long silence meant I was upset, “she's just a girl. I can set you up with another one any time you want.”
Even in my depressed state, I laughed at that. “You realize girls aren't like pens, right? You don't get a new one when one runs out. They aren't interchangeable like that.”
Steve shrugged. “They can be if you let them.”
I laughed again. “Thanks for the offer, Steve, but I'm not ready to meet someone else yet.”
“Your loss,” he shrugged.
Alicia and Chris sat down right as Steve said this. “Whose loss for what?” Alicia asked.
Josh grinned at her. “Clark said he didn't want Steve to set him up with someone else. He doesn't think Lois can be replaced with any random girl.”
Alicia burst out laughing. “Steve, you crack me up.”
Steve just gave her a look. I'm sure he was half-confused by her reaction.
“What happened with you and Lois anyway?” she asked me. I was in shock. Both as she didn't know – Lois struck me as the kind of girl who would let everyone know how mean you'd been to her when she was angry – and she was clearly still angry. Also, though, as I just assumed Alicia would take Lois' side even if she didn't know what had happened.
Of course, this left me with another problem - how to explain the issue to everyone else at the table. “I sort of screwed up. I missed lunch with her after she heard the results of the disciplinary hearing.”
“That's it?” Alicia asked. “Didn't you apologize?”
I nodded. “Yeah, but it was a big deal, and I didn't have a good excuse. I was just caught up in doing other things,” I said, feeling myself flush as I lied. “It was a big deal for Lois. I knew that, but I just forgot.”
Alicia nodded. “I see that. I guess I just wouldn't realize it was worth breaking up over. I thought you and Lois would go the distance.”
I did a double take. She thought we would…? But she had been so upset when she learned we were dating. Why would she…? “I don't get it,” I finally said. “I thought you were angry with me for dating Lois after breaking up with Maddie.”
“I was,” she said. “But honestly not because I thought you and Maddie were going to get married some day or anything. Mostly just "cause… well, it seemed like maybe you got over Maddie sort of quickly, and she's a really great girl even if she isn't your soul mate. I thought you cared about her more than that.”
“I did,” I insisted. “I was in love with her. But sometimes…”
“Love isn't enough,” Josh interjected. “Like with Lois?”
“Surely you weren't in love with Lois,” Steve said. “I mean, come on. You don't fall in love with every girl you date, right? Please tell me you're not a girl.”
“Hey!” Alicia said. “What's wrong with only dating people that you are compatible with? I think both Maddie and Lois fit well with Clark, and so there's no reason he couldn't fall in love with both of them.”
“It's just… so lame,” Steve said, his voice whiny.
“What's lame?” Maddie asked as she joined us.
“To fall in love with everyone you date,” Josh said. “Or at least Steve says so.”
“I think it would be lame for Steve to fall in love with everyone he dates,” Maddie said. “You can't fall in love in the course of one night.”
We all laughed as Lois approached the table. She stopped for a second when she saw me, but then raised her chin and, resolutely ignoring me, took a seat at the other end of the table.
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“Do you have a minute?” Maddie asked from the doorway.
“Sure,” I said, motioning to my bed from my place at my desk.
She looked around uneasily for a second before asking, “What are you working on?”
“Setting up a talk on drug use at Westside Elementary.”
“You got that set up?” she smiled at me.
“Sort of. Officer Williams, the guy I had spoken to, called the vice principal there. Mr. Dwight wouldn't talk to him either, so he called the superintendent. He thought it was a great idea and asked if we could set something up for the other schools in District 469. We agreed to start with Westside, and if things go well, roll it out to the other schools,” I told her.
“That's great, Clark!”
“Thanks,” I said. “But Westside is a problem. Mr. Dwight can't just ignore Mr. Standers, the superintendent, but instead is just claiming that every day I propose won't work for some reason or other.”
“What's his problem?” Maddie asked. “Why would he care if you're doing all the work?”
“Cause then he has to admit there's a drug problem at his school?” I suggested. “I don't know. But I'm not worried. Eventually, I'll feel it's alright to contact Mr. Standers again. I don't want to go over Mr. Dwight's head, but I will if I have to.”
Maddie smiled at me admiringly. “That's so… you,” she finally settled on.
“What?” I asked, not having any idea what she meant.
“You're so… noble, I guess,” she said. “Always trying to do the right thing.”
“Thanks,” I said softly, not sure what to say.
“Except,” Maddie cut in, “when it comes to relationships.” She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. “I really don't want to get into all this with you again, Clark, but I care about you. I get the impression your relationship with Lois ended for much the same reason ours did.”
I didn't say anything, just blushed. What was there to say?
“I just want… I guess I want you to be happy, and I feel like that's never going to happen if you don't stop making the same mistakes over and over again. I get that you didn't care enough about me to tell me whatever your big secret is. And I'll even believe that you didn't care enough about Lois either. But at some point, Clark, you're going to need to decide to come clean with someone.
“Just promise me that you will,” she said quietly.
I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.
