***~~~***
Chapter 18: Answers
***~~~***
The next morning, Clark got up extra early and made sure that it would be the smell of coffee and English Muffins that woke Lois up. When she did come out, except for being unusually quiet, her demeanor showed little of the distress of the previous evening. Even so, their conversation was limited to the minimum set of exchanges to get out of the apartment and make it to work. Clark was desperate to know the source of her anxiety last night. Was it because she had believed his theory on Luthor’s involvement in the destruction of her apartment or was it because she had rejected that idea?
As soon as they got to the office, Lois went immediately to her desk and picked up the phone. While she was on the phone, Clark got her coffee and a doughnut. When he arrived at her desk with the food, she was on the phone. He waited a few seconds before it became obvious that she wasn’t even going to look up at him. Apparently she really was still upset from last night. After another few seconds he simply left her coffee and doughnut on her desk and proceeded to his workstation.
The lack of communication with Lois was driving him crazy. Clark had spent half the night planning out how he was going to react today when Lois told him that she couldn’t stay with someone who could think such things as Clark had said. He even had trouble rejecting his “nightmare” scenario where Lois went to stay with Luthor. He kept telling himself that whatever happened, Lois wouldn’t go to Lex. But as each minute dragged by and his nervousness grew, it became harder to remain rational on that subject.
Clark was trying to focus on how to look for connections between The Boss and Luthor when he sensed a shadow across his desk. He looked up to discover his partner.
“Hi, Clark,” Lois said almost shyly.
Don’t spook her, be pleasant but keep it business, he thought. “Any word from Star Labs?” he asked, trying to maintain a business-casual tone.
“No, maybe later today.” She paused for a moment. “About last night…”
That was all it took to break his resolve to remain casual. He didn’t let her finish as the words came rushing out. “I’m sorry that I upset you. I… Well, it just seemed to be a possible answer that fits with what we know. What kind of person would think that Lu… Mr. Luthor would do something like that?”
Her reply was immediate and energetic. “A reporter! And you’re a damn good one!” She took a deep breath and sat down on the corner of his desk. “I’m the one that needs to apologize. What you said last night got to me. It wasn’t because I didn’t believe you. It got to me because I’m afraid you might be right. It means that my neighbors who were killed in the building collapse are dead – because of me.”
He reached over and took her hand in his. “Lois, whoever ordered the bombing of your building, it isn’t your fault. The blame lies with whoever set the bomb.” He waited for her to reply but she seemed to be lost in thought. She was just staring thoughtfully at their clasped hands. “So, Lois, now that we know what happened to your apartment, what are we going to do about it?”
That seemed to break the spell. She let go of his hand and stood. Now she had a look of determination on her face. “We find out who ordered my building bombed. I assume you’ve been thinking about how to get evidence to prove or disprove your theory about Luthor’s involvement?”
It was nice to hear life in her voice. “I’ve been thinking of some approaches,” he offered. “Before we start on that, would you fill me in on Star Labs?”
“Bernie is there now,” she answered. “But he won’t tell me anything until he has more test results.”
“You know that the artifact might be nothing more than some piece of a satellite that was knocked down by a chunk of Nightfall.”
“That may be,” Lois said, “but whatever it is, I’m sure that it was the source of the gas that poisoned you. My intuition tells me that we’re right and it was part of the Superman mission. If that’s true, then the presence of the toxic gas is even more interesting. Once we have a better idea of what it is, then we can try to figure out why you were there.”
***~~~***
Lois was happy to get past the awkwardness of the morning. She worked with Clark to develop a plan to investigate connections between Lex and The Boss. Then they went over to her building to take a look for themselves. Their stated purpose was to contact people involved in the dig-out and provide contact information to reach Lois. The real reason was to see if they could meet the officer that had made the initial bomb assessment. From what Bill had said yesterday, his name was Zimmerman and he should still be on the case.
It only took a few minutes to find the young policemen. They took him aside and identified themselves. After they explained that Henderson had told them of his discovery, he was more than happy to point out the key elements that pointed to a bomb.
Lois found it more difficult than she’d expected to walk around the remains of what had been her home. She was glad that the rain had washed away any odors that might have been present. As they finished their circuit of the building, Officer Zimmerman completed his explanation of his findings.
“Ms. Lane, any bomb big enough to take down a building would leave a clear signature. Once I started looking, the markers were easy to find.”
“Are any of the other building collapses are being investigated?” Clark asked.
“Some are now,” he offered. “At first there was so much confusion that none of them were. I suspect that if I hadn’t been doing it on my own, all of the building collapses would have been attributed to meteor strikes.”
After they left Lois’s building, they met with as many of Lois’s contacts as she had been able to reach. In most cases, her contacts genuinely didn’t know anything about the bombing. Naturally, when the subject of the Boss came up, even the most hardened snitch froze up.
It was late afternoon when they finally returned to the office. This time it was Clark’s turn to call Star Labs. Lois was hovering over him when he hung up the phone.
“Dr. Klein said that there have been some developments and he’ll be working until late tonight,” Clark reported. “When I pressed, he got jumpy. He finally suggested that we come by early tomorrow.”
“Did he specify a time?” she pressed.
“He said 8:00 a.m. I get the impression that he may not go home tonight.”
***~~~***
After the stressful subject of the previous evening, Clark was reluctant to bring up anything controversial for dinnertime conversation. They spent a surprising amount of time discussing the improving weather. It was now obvious that there would be no “impact winter” from Nightfall. There were reports of weather returning to normal in many places but Metropolis hadn’t had a sunny day since before the asteroid. The general feeling was that the weather would be back to normal within another few weeks.
It was only after they had exhausted the safe topics that Lois changed the direction of the evening. “Clark, why did we find both you and the survival tank in that building?” she asked.
“We’ve been over this. I wish I could tell you why I was there, but I don’t know.”
“Could it have been some kind of secret meeting place for you and Superman?”
“A place for meeting Superman? I don’t understand. Why do you think that was it?” he asked.
“Well, I told you I’m convinced that it was Superman’s equipment that we found. Now that Dr. Klein is taking so much time, my head is just buzzing with that possibility. So, what are your feelings telling you? Could you have been there to meet Superman?”
“I guess it’s possible,” he replied cautiously. I’m not getting any emotional clues this time. It’s all a blank.”
Lois was quiet for a moment. Finally, she asked, “How much of Superman do you remember?”
“Nothing at all,” Clark replied in a dejected tone. “I know how important he was to you. I’ve tried as hard as I can to remember him. There isn’t anything there at all. Even his picture doesn’t evoke much of a response. Did I know him well?”
“You seemed to know him better than anyone.”
“Really?” Clark exclaimed. “I thought about asking some of the people at work but no one seemed to be comfortable talking about him.”
Lois sighed heavily. “You and I are in the same boat. He and I had a… well, sort-of relationship. As for you, you were the only person that knew how to contact him. Didn’t anyone tell you that the military came to the Planet to make contact with Superman right before the Nightfall mission?”
Clark was surprised at this. “No. Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
“Not very many people know. I guess I should have told you but I’m… I’ve been avoiding certain issues since he disappeared. Are you sure that you don’t have an emotional reaction when you look at his picture?”
“I’m positive. Are you sure we were friends?”
“I think so. Honestly, you never talked about him. For some reason it never occurred to me to ask about your relationship with Superman.”
“I wish I understood,” Clark’s voice was plaintive. “Like I said, when I’ve looked at pictures of him, I get no reaction at all. Is it possible I barely know him?” Clark paused for a moment but Lois remained silent so he continued. “Didn’t you say that maybe I’m just the person that had his phone number? Maybe that’s all there is to it. What did you think when you saw us together?”
Lois seemed to think for a moment. “Now that you mention it, I don’t recall ever having seen the two of you at the same time. I wonder if he deliberately avoided being seen with you. Maybe it was because you knew how to contact him.”
There was a long moment of silence. Finally, Lois asked, “Do you think it might be possible that he made it back but for some reason can’t communicate?”
After they found that tank yesterday, the thought had crossed his mind. He just hadn’t felt comfortable suggesting that to Lois. “Maybe,” he answered. “After Nightfall was shattered, he might have felt the need to disappear. Could it be that he knew he messed up and was afraid to face the public?”
There was a flash of anger from Lois. “Clark, I don’t believe that. Whatever happened I’m sure Superman would face the consequences head-on.”
Clark could see he was in dangerous territory, but he had an idea and pushed ahead. “Are you sure? Even if he was afraid?”
Lois started to interrupt but Clark wouldn’t let her. “Hear me out. What if he landed, contacted me and asked me to meet him in that building. Then something happened and I was exposed to that gas. I lost my memory and…he left me.”
“He wouldn’t do that!” Lois’s voice was strident.
Clark felt compelled to defend his argument. “If you’re right and my being at that building was tied to him, what else could have happened?”
Lois jumped to her feet. How could Clark of all people be saying these things? “How can you think that?” she was shouting now. “He’s the best… You’re not…” She had more to say but didn’t want to finish. She dashed to the bedroom and slammed the door behind her.
At first, she stalked back and forth in her room. She had trouble getting past the thought, ‘How could Clark think that?’ Once she calmed down, Lois knew the answer. Clark had no memory. He didn’t know any better. Just the same, it took some time to regain her composure. Ten minutes later she was calm enough to open the door. She found Clark sitting in the middle of the room with his face buried in his hands. She walked over to him and put her hand on his shoulder. “Clark, are you okay?”
When he looked up she could see he was very upset. “Lois, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything bad about him. I just don’t remember.”
He looked miserable. Lois reminded herself that this wasn’t exactly the old Clark that knew how to deal with her when she went off. He was the same person, but with his memory gutted, he didn’t have the defense mechanisms that were so valuable in dealing with her. “Clark, I wish you had more memory of me. I’m not really mad at you. I fly off the handle a lot. You’re the only person that has ever been able to put up with some of the more inflammatory sides of my personality. Whatever happened to Superman and whatever the reason that you were at that building, we’ll find out together.”
***~~~***
From Lois’s perspective, breakfast with Clark seemed almost as tense as yesterday. Neither she nor Clark mentioned the speculations from the night before.
Since it was Sunday they called Bernie to make sure that they would be able to get in at Star Labs. There was no answer at his home but he picked up right away at his office and told them to come on over. When they arrived at Star Labs, they found Bernie waiting for them in the lobby. He had a very serious look on his face. As they approached, his greeting sounded a bit forced. “Good morning.” His voice was almost a monotone. “Please come to my office.”
“Dr. Klein, what’s…” Lois tried to ask.
Klein interrupted. “Please. Not here.” He glanced around. Even though no one else was around, he seemed worried that perhaps the walls had ears. “We’ll talk in my office.”
He didn’t say another word until they reached his office. They entered to find Fred Hanson waiting.
“Dr. Hanson, what are you doing here?” Clark asked.
Fred’s expression mirrored that of Dr. Klein. “I’d rather Bernie tell the story. When you hear what we’ve learned, I think you’ll understand. Until then… well, I’m here in case you have questions.”
Bernie motioned Lois and Clark toward two chairs. Bernie took the open seat next to Fred. After he sat, he made a visible effort to compose himself before starting. “The equipment module you found in the apartment building was the main section of the survival module that Superman carried to Nightfall.”
Lois felt a surge of elation and jumped up. “That means Superman made it back!”
Bernie and Fred exchanged a brief look before Dr. Klein continued. “Please let me finish before you get too excited. I’m sorry, but believe me when I say that if I had good news I would have started with that.”
Lois started to say something but thought better of it. Her expression turned even more serious as she sat back down. The Lois Lane of a year ago would have been shocked to see that as she sat she reached, almost automatically, for Clark’s hand. That earlier version of Lois would have been even more shocked at the level of comfort that his touch provided.
Bernie continued, “Fred was able to verify that the debris you found was indeed the module that his team built for Superman. However, it wasn’t exactly the module his lab designed.”
“Dr. Hanson?” Lois looked to the LexCorp scientist for clarification.
“Please, Ms. Lane, call me Fred. The module that my team designed was delivered for systems integration a full day before Superman left. The integration team took all the design materials along with the components. The module that you found is the one that we built, but it’s been modified. This equipment has an additional air tank and the communication system was also modified. Bernie?”
Dr. Klein picked up the narrative. “The new air tank is much too small to have any value in extending the survival range. Furthermore, the air system already had a substantial safety margin built in. Given what we know about Clark’s memory, we approached the analysis of the gas in that new tank very carefully. We collected samples from all of the tanks that were in the module. Those that were part of the original design have the air mix that we had expected to find. That new tank had something very different.”
“C127 gas?” Lois asked.
“Yes. But there was also something else. We couldn’t identify it at first, but I was able to make some discreet inquiries and figured out what it was.” Bernie looked intently at Lois. “Ms. Lane, it’s green, and you named it.”
Lois felt herself go cold. “Kryptonite,” she whispered.
“Kryptonite gas to be specific,” Bernie added. “The new tank contained a cocktail of C127S5 and Kryptonite gas. It was connected to the main air supply and sealed with a compression burst valve. The valve was tied to the communication system. When the triggering condition was achieved, a signal would fire a small explosive charge that would blow open the seal and irreversibly connect the tank to the main air supply. The way the tank was mounted and the gas line was tied into the system, once the valve was blown open, there was no way to block the gas and still receive air.”
Clark felt like he was missing something. “Kryptonite?’ Clark frowned in confusion. His face cleared momentarily as he said, “Oh, I remember now. That was the glowing green rock in the article Lois wrote after the run-in with Trask in Smallville.” But then the frown returned as he turned to Lois and added, “I thought you said it didn’t really exist.”
“I didn’t think it did,” Lois replied. “Clark, you actually invented the name that I used in my article. I never saw any evidence that made me think it was real.”
Bernie stepped in. “Apparently, after Trask was killed in Smallville, the men in his group disappeared. There is evidence that some of them have been selling off parts of the Bureau 39 discoveries. Someone must have made contact with them and gotten the Kryptonite. Whoever did this must have had reason to believe it would weaken Superman. All it had to do was weaken him. The C127 gas was there to finish the job.”
“You said the release mechanism was tied into the communication system. Does that mean that there was a signal from Earth?” Clark asked.
Bernie looked at Fred for a second before answering. “We think we know what happened. Why don't I walk you through what we think was supposed to happen, and then I’ll describe what we believe actually happened.”
Both Lois and Clark nodded for Bernie to continue.
“Part of the original design was a connection between the guidance system and the communication system. It was supposed to trigger an audio signal when Superman reached the release point. It was a backup in case the display screen on the guidance system failed. From what we can tell, there was an addition to this alarm signal so that when the trigger signal was sent, three other things would happen. First, the gas would be released into the air supply. Second, Superman's microphone connection would be cut. It looks like this…booby trap…was designed to fire as soon as Superman reached the release point. He would be killed with no chance to tell anyone what happened.”
“You said three things would happen. What was the third?” Clark asked.
“There was a tie-in to the audio system that appears to have played a message.”
“What did it say?” Lois asked. To Clark she still seemed in shock but was paying attention.
“We don't know,” Bernie admitted. “We found a data file that appears to contain an audio stream. Unfortunately, this file is protected by some military-grade encryption. There appears to have been a separate key module that carried the decryption engine. Unfortunately, we can see where it tied into the system but the module itself is missing. That area is badly burned so our guess is that it burned up during re-entry. Without the decryption and playback module, we may never know what is in that file. Anyway, whoever designed this intended to have Superman deliver the impactor to Nightfall and, as soon as he was no longer necessary, kill him using the gas while cutting off his communication and delivering the message.”
“Why would the government do that?” Clark asked, horrified.
“Fear,” Lois answered. “You don't remember Trask. He wanted Superman dead at all costs.”
“No!” Fred snapped. “This mission was too important. I knew people that had been suspicious of Superman, but no one I know would have done anything like this.”
“Trask was a government wacko,” Lois supplied.
“We know,” Bernie answered. “What you don't know is that after the Trask incident, the government initiated a probe to identify individuals or groups that were, um, concerned about Superman. They didn't want a repeat of the article that exposed Trask. On the government side, the Nightfall mission team was hand-picked from people that were known to be supportive of Superman. As Fred said, this mission was too important.”
“So how did that booby-trap get there?” Clark asked.
Bernie replied. “We have photographs of the equipment when it was delivered from LexCorp. The modifications to add the extra gas canister were already there when it arrived.”
“And I know that they were not there when they left my lab!” Fred was almost shouting. “I should have known that something about that so-called integration wasn’t right. They’re the ones who made those additions.”
That statement sank in for a minute until Clark broke the silence. “Bernie, you said that you think you know what did happen. Do you mean that the booby-trap didn’t work as planned?”
Bernie took a second to compose himself. “Well, as you may remember, we know that the guidance system malfunctioned and signaled Superman to release the impactor 50 seconds too early.” He paused as Lois and Clark both nodded. “That triggered the system that we've been talking about. Our guess is that when the Kryptonite gas hit Superman, it weakened him and made him vulnerable to the effects of the C127. We think it confused him so that for a moment he lost track of what he was doing. We also know it didn't kill him immediately because the survival pack made it back to Earth. The fact that he could fly back would suggest that his powers were still intact.”
Lois cut him off. “I thought that nerve gas was deadly.”
“It can be. But, as you know from Clark's experience, it can be neutralized if mixed with certain other gases. As it turns out, the Kryptonite gas almost completely removed the most lethal aspect of the nerve gas.”
“Why do you think the gas mixture was used?” Lois asked.
“Our guess is that someone found a way to test Kryptonite on Superman and found it to be able to affect his powers,” Bernie offered. “We believe that the Kryptonite was supposed to weaken him and allow the nerve gas to finish him off. However, the Kryptonite neutralized the C127 gas and Superman survived the initial exposure. I suspect that he was dazed for a moment when the gas mixture first hit. That reaction was seen in people that survived C127 gas. It’s also possible that the Kryptonite weakened him just enough to cause him to lose control of the ship. Anyway, Superman started back toward Earth. He may have tried to hold his breath but we know that the distance was beyond the range he can fly without air. He must have had to breathe the gas a few more times just to make it back. By the time he reached Earth he had probably received a lethal dose of Kryptonite. Furthermore, even after having been neutralized by the Kryptonite, that much C127 gas would be deadly. If it didn’t kill him, his brain would have suffered so much damage that…there wouldn’t be any of the person left.”
Clark interrupted him. “That’s horrible!”
“Yes. I’m afraid that there are many horrible aspects to this – mission. It appears that Superman tried to reach Metropolis. Based on where this was found and the burned condition of the hardware, we have an idea about the rest of the story. The trajectory indicates that the entry path was heading for the waterfront. These items seem to have been in free-fall when they landed. We think that…” He paused and looked very deliberately at Lois. “I’m sorry, Lois. But if his body survived re-entry, it would have landed in the water just off shore.”
“But someone would have found him!” Lois pleaded.
“Not if he sank. Most experts think he has a much higher molecular density than a normal human. We believe that without his flying powers to offset his density, he would be exceptionally heavy. In fact, based on his invulnerability, his natural density is probably more like stone or even steel.”
“So you think he made it back to Earth only to be killed when he arrived?” Clark asked.
“I don't see another explanation.” Bernie said. “We think he was trying to reach you in that abandoned apartment building. That's how the tank ended up there. I suspect that you were waiting to meet him when you heard the crash of the tank impact. The impact broke open the regulator valve and released the rest of the gas all at once. You walked into it looking for Superman and lost your memory. I'm sorry, but everything fits. If it survived the heat of re-entry at all, what’s left of Superman’s body is on the bottom of the ocean somewhere offshore.”
Lois was in turmoil. Here was all the evidence to clear Superman but it raised another, more important issue. In an icy tone Lois said, “You realize that whoever did this is responsible not only for Superman's death, but the deaths of the millions killed by Nightfall.”
“And my family!” Fred added.
Bernie cleared his throat. “That was why I wanted to be so sure before I gave you my report.”
“So what do we do now?” Clark asked.
It was Lois who replied. “We find out who in LexCorp hated Superman enough to do this. We need to find a way to hear that message.”
Clark had a flash of memory and a sudden insight. Lex Luthor hated Superman that much!
***~~~***
There was little more to tell. They spent the rest of the day outlining what each would do. Dr. Klein would see what he could trace back in government and scientific channels. Fred would see what could be found in the various rumor trails inside LexCorp. Lois and Clark would coordinate and use their own sources to produce a proper investigation. Clark was largely silent through this planning. He was still reeling from the shock of his newly recovered memories.
While Bernie had been telling the story, it was almost as if the inside of Clark’s brain started to itch. It was barely noticeable at first but as the story unfolded, it kept getting worse. Finally, there was something about the way Lois phrased the question about who hated Superman that triggered a burst of memory. All these images of Luthor came flooding in and it was like watching a movie. In these images, he never saw Superman. But he saw and heard plenty of Luthor. He was still struggling with these memories when he and Lois left Star Labs and headed back to the Planet.
The drive back to work was made in silence. Lois still seemed to be struggling with her own concerns based on what they learned. The combination made for a ride where both of them were so absorbed in their own thoughts that they failed to notice the silence in the other.
They made it all the way back to the office before exchanging any words. Clark had been too confused about the images to share his new understanding with the others yet but he had to tell Lois.
“Can we talk in one of the interview rooms?” Clark asked of his partner. “There’s something you need to know.”
“Can’t we do it at our desks?” Lois suggested.
“Lois, I had a flash of memory back at Star Labs and I think it would be best to share it in private.”
Lois glanced at a clock. “It’s already late. Why don’t we write up our notes and bring Perry up to speed. He’ll be excited to know that we have evidence that Superman wasn’t at fault. Then we can head home for the evening where we can talk about what you’ve remembered without having to worry about someone walking in on us. We can spend the rest of the evening developing our plans for this part of the investigation.”
Clark didn’t want to wait but knew that this was very sensitive information. He also knew that talking about Luthor possibly being personally involved in Superman’s death was likely to upset Lois. It would be better to have this discussion in as private location as possible.
“Okay, Lois. I think that’s a good plan.”
It was nearly an hour later before they were able to leave for the day. Perry seemed unsurprised that LexCorp was involved. When they told him that the evidence pointed toward LexCorp, Perry’s response had been cryptic.
“You two need to be careful. LexCorp has emerged as a force to be reckoned with since Nightfall. Something about the way Luthor and his company has come through all this doesn’t feel right.”
They tried to press him but he wouldn’t go any further than to warn them again to be extra careful.
When they got home the more domestic issues such as the evening meal came first. It was well into the evening that they were able to have the long-delayed talk about Clark’s memory.
They had just moved out to the living room and Lois had settled into Clark’s comfortable sofa. “What a day,” she sighed.
“I think we should talk about what I remembered today.” Clark offered.
Lois looked startled for a second. “I’m sorry, Clark. I forgot all about that. You said it was important.”
“Yes, he said. “At Star Labs, right at the end, I had that flash of memory that I told you about at the office. I have some images that might be key to the investigation.”
Her face brightened. “That’s great. What do you remember?”
“Lois, what do you know about Luthor and his relationship with Superman?”
“Not very much. I hardly ever saw them together.”
“I found all these memories of Luthor talking to Superman.” Clark closed his eyes and found he could pull up the image of Luthor at will. “I can see him. He’s talking to Superman. I can’t see Superman but I’m there.”
Clark opened his eyes and looked at Lois. She was staring back at him open-mouthed. “What?” he asked.
“Clark, this is the first time you’ve said anything about memories this detailed.”
He’d been so focused on the nature of the memories that he’d missed the fact that these were so different from the others he’d recalled. “You’re right. These are the most complete memories I’ve had.”
Lois was animated. “This is great! Not because of Luthor. Okay, not just because of him. It means there might be a way to remember more. Do you have any idea what happened?”
Clark thought for a moment. “I don’t really know. I was thinking about Superman and Luthor. I was trying to visualize what a conversation between them would be like. All the sudden the memories were there. It was like opening a door.”
“That means that maybe more memories are still there. It might just be a matter of finding the right key to unlock the others. You need to report this to Dr. Plinkton tomorrow.”
“I will,” Clark offered. “But back to the memories, you said I knew Superman?”
“Yeah,” Lois replied. “Looking back I think you knew him better than you let on.”
“Is it possible I might have been working with him to investigate Luthor? In these memories, it’s like I was there while Superman was talking with Luthor. From the things I’m seeing, it’s clear that Luthor thought he was alone with Superman. I have image after image of them in – disagreements. I have some images of Superman being particularly angry. What is Mentamide 5 and who are the Smart kids?”
“That was an experiment that was being performed secretly on some orphans. You remember that?” Lois asked.
“Only that Luthor was behind it. I don’t even know what those words mean except that Luthor was in the middle of it and Superman was involved.”
“Lex was behind that?” Lois sounded surprised.
“You didn’t know? From the fragments of memory I have, it was all Luthor’s doing.”
“Clark, why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. Is it possible that Superman swore me to secrecy? Maybe there wasn’t any hard evidence.”
“But you still should have told me.”
“Lois, what do you want me to say? I just don’t remember. I have to guess that I – and Superman – had a good reason. I have these images that make me think there were other things as well. Didn’t I tell you anything about Luthor’s illegal activities?”
Lois looked very upset. “No,” she said. “But it may have been that since I was socially involved with Lex, Superman asked you to keep me out until you had enough hard evidence to make a case.”
They were both quiet for nearly a minute before Lois voiced the obvious question. “Do you think Lex sabotaged the Nightfall mission?”
Clark had known this question was coming. “Yes,” he said softly. “With what I’m remembering now, I’m certain that if Superman had known that Luthor was involved in the Nightfall mission, he would never have accepted the equipment.”
“Do you remember anything else about the Nightfall mission or Superman that you hadn’t remembered before?”
Clark closed his eyes again and concentrated. “I still can’t see him. I have stronger feelings. I feel like I know things about him, but it’s all confused.” Clark opened his eyes and found Lois looking at him with an almost startling intensity. In that instant, it was like she had opened her soul to him. He could get lost in those eyes.
Then he had a flash that almost knocked him down. He was selfish enough that he almost hesitated to tell her. But she deserved to know. “Lois, Superman loved you.”
“What?”
He wanted to look away but he couldn’t. “Lois, I don’t understand how I know. I don’t have a clear image or a memory but just now, I had been concentrating on Superman and when I opened my eyes and saw you it triggered a feeling and a partial memory. He… he was in love with you.”
“Clark, how can you know that?”
“I don’t really know. It just hit me like an emotional surge. Maybe we were close friends. Maybe he and I talked about how each of us felt about you. It’s all confused.”
He paused for a minute shaking his head. “Lois, now I’m getting all these random images and emotions. It’s like there are flash bulbs going off all around, but instead of light these are flashes of images and emotion.”
“Are you okay? Do you need to lie down?” Lois asked.
Clark looked over at her. The concern on her face helped so much. “I’ll be fine. There’s just so much here that I didn’t know before. All this stuff about Superman and how he felt about you. He and I must have talked about you more than once. I feel like I know a lot but it’s all vague and fuzzy.”
“I know this is difficult, but anything you can remember would be very important to me.” It was a plea.
Clark would do anything to help her but the details just weren’t there. “I’m sure about how he felt. I remember that for some reason he couldn’t say anything to you. Lois, somehow his not telling you feels like it’s related to me. It’s so strange, the emotions are strong but all confused.”
She reached over and put her hand on his. “Just take your time. I know this must be difficult.”
Clark desperately wanted to go on for her sake. He thought about Lois and how important she was to him. Something about that thought resonated with his newfound memories. Then he thought about Superman and his interest in Lois. That combination seemed to trigger another rush of confused feelings. “Lois, it feels weird but it’s like both he and I wanted to pursue a relationship with you but we couldn’t because of the other.”
As he said those words he was hit by another surge. “I’ve just remembered something else. You said he saw you before going on the Nightfall mission. It was…even more personal than you said, wasn’t it?”
Lois hesitated a second before deciding that getting these memories was worth the price for both of them. “Clark, when he came by…we…kissed. He told me that he had something to tell me when he got back.”
“That surge of memory… It’s strange, in a way it’s almost like I was there. He must have told me what he was planning. I can’t be sure, but it feels like he was going to tell you how he felt. I think he was going to say that he was in love with you.”
***~~~***
Lois barely remembered bolting from the room. Clark hadn’t said anything she didn’t already suspect, but to have him say it like that brought it all to the front of her memory. When it hit her, she had to be alone. She practically jumped out of her chair and ran to her room crying. Hopefully Clark understood that she wasn’t upset with him.
From what Clark had said, if Superman had survived, they’d be together now. She’d always thought there was a connection between her and Superman. She had felt it that first time they flew together. His touch had always stirred something in her that she’d never felt before.
But what was that part about Superman and Clark both waiting for each other? Since Nightfall, Clark had been very open about his feelings. He’d been the perfect gentleman, but once it was out in the open it’d been easy to notice. Now he said that Superman felt the same way. Not only that, but they knew about how each other felt and that kept both of them from acting.
That made sense if they were best friends. Superman didn’t want to betray his friend. While Superman was around, she never gave Clark much of a chance. Lois figured that Superman must have finally given up on waiting for her to notice Clark. That must be why Superman was going to tell her how he felt. Lois had to wonder if Clark would have ever told her how he felt if he hadn’t lost his memory. Probably not. She could see him suffering in silence while his partner and his best friend developed a relationship.
Clark and Superman had obviously been very close. She wished she could ask Clark for more details. Based on what had just happened, she was sure that if he did remember anything more, he’d tell her. Clark was that kind of person. She didn’t have to badger him to know if he remembered anything more.
If Superman had survived, and they had developed a relationship, what would have happened to Clark? Would he have come to accept it, or would he have moved on again like he did so many times before? The thought of Clark leaving was very unpleasant. He’d become very important to her. She still remembered that kiss the other night. That time they really kissed was – wonderful. It moved her more than any kiss she’d ever had except for maybe when Superman kissed her before he left.
But Superman was gone. He’d waited too long to see if she and Clark would hit it off. Now… Ever since that first night when Clark held her in the hospital, she’d been feeling something. At first, she thought it was a combination of friendship and sympathy. Lois knew that it was time to face up to the fact that it was much more.
She’d wanted to be faithful to the promise of that night before Superman left. Now she knew that Superman had been holding back so that she and Clark could have a chance. Somehow she knew that nothing would make Superman happier than for her to be in a relationship with Clark. Superman was so much stronger than Clark. If she were to have had a relationship with Superman, she was sure that it would have hurt Clark terribly. On the other hand, if things had developed differently and she had started dating Clark, she was confident that Superman would have missed what might have been, but would have been happy for his friend.
Clark was such a sweetheart. It seemed funny now, but once you looked past Superman’s powers, their personalities were so similar. The difference between the two men was very subtle. Superman was strong and Clark was sweet. Not that Superman didn’t have a sweet side and Clark wasn’t strong.
Yes, she finally concluded. Superman would have been very happy with how things had developed between her and Clark. She decided that she needed to spend some time thinking about what was going to make *her* happy.
TBC
Bob
