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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
Comments appreciated! 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Joined: Feb 2010
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 4,425 Likes: 1 |
Nice set up. Looking forward to the rest! :-) I know that this is still a WiP, but do you have a rough idea of how many parts there will be?
Joy,
Lynn
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: Dec 2004
Posts: 326 |
It looks like it will be a great story. I love alt Clark and Lois. You have a great writing style. I am glad your muse is running high Kathy www.chili-everyway.com
robinson
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Kerth
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Kerth
Joined: Dec 2005
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Is it very wrong of me to say that when I saw that title my first thought was a memory of the Michael Crichton book, and the thought that Lois would turn out to have been kidnapped by intelligent gorillas...
Marcus L. Rowland
Forgotten Futures, The Scientific Romance Role Playing Game
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
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A good beginning! You have a poetic style. I'm really interested to see where you're taking this.
Re Lois's dream - is she psychic? Or is this part of the time slip? Is she sensing what already happened?
One quibble, although I'm not sure myself - aren't rattlesnakes native to North and South America? Wouldn't there be different venomous snakes in Africa? Are there any snake experts here on the boards?
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Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
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Good start I hope you continue. Laura
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
I'm glad you guys are liking it so far!  Originally posted by IolantheAlias:
A good beginning! You have a poetic style. I'm really interested to see where you're taking this.
Re Lois's dream - is she psychic? Or is this part of the time slip? Is she sensing what already happened?
One quibble, although I'm not sure myself - aren't rattlesnakes native to North and South America? Wouldn't there be different venomous snakes in Africa? Are there any snake experts here on the boards? Just wiki-ed about the snake... you got me! Rattlesnakes are native to North America. Anyone know of a good African snake I could use instead? Too bad, too cause I liked the play of a 'rat' in the city is better than a 'rattlesnake' in the jungle... And yes, you are pretty much right about Lois' dream. I haven't written the 'why' behind it yet---though it would be a good little job for HG Wells to do, don't you think?---But basically, she senses when Clark/Superman hits the time continuum to travel back in time. And the pop when he disappears is when he actually arrives in Metropolis, her time. So just for that moment that he's traveling through time, they make a connection. 
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Joined: May 2003
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Beat Reporter
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Beat Reporter
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 492 |
In googling I found "Mean and Lowly Things: Snakes, Science, and Survival in the Congo" by Kate Jackson (Harvard University Press, $27.95). Might check your local library if you want to do research. Also found Armed Forces Pest Management Board, Venomous Animals by Country . Looks like the boomslang (Dispholidus typus) would be good.
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Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
Thanks for the website dcarson! The snake you recommended would have been good, except it was everywhere BUT the Congo! I went with the King Cobra instead.... Here's the edit on the snake bit:
Kawa had been very helpful so far in keeping her safe. There was that day, about a week ago, he had saved her life from a horrible snake that had snuck into her tent. She had been about to lay down when her flashlight caught a shiny black coil on her bed. She had heard a hiss and backed out, screaming for Kawa. He seemed in awe of the King Cobra, swinging his head lazily from side to side, though she had only felt pure fear! But he was somewhat of a snake charmer and was able to get it out of the tent with his walking stick before slashing its head off with a knife. She still got the willies from that. <<If--no *when* I make it back to Metropolis, I will never take for granted the comforts of a city! Give me a rat any day of the week over a poisonous snake!>>
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
 I'm really liking the setup. Or, well, the way you set it up. Because Lois alone in the Congo in and of it self is not that nice a setup Looking forward to the ride! Michael
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