Lois & Clark Forums Forums Fan Fiction Lois & Clark Fanfic FDK - The Bedtime Story (1/1)

What can I say? My muse was truly evil this time around.

As always, feedback welcomed.

Joy,
Lynn

evil evil you.
Great idea, though
Artemis

Clark married to Lana... not using his powers for good... probably not using his powers...

YOU ARE EVIL!

(Well done.)

Wow. That really was evil...

Poor, poor, poor, poor Clark.

(Great twist! Nicely done.)

Ok, that last bit caught me offguard and I actually had to check that I read it right.

All I can say is great story and you are evil

Thanks all for the feedback. :-) When I first told Corrina that I had an idea for a new story, "evil" was definitely one of the words I used to describe it.
That's it exactly. My starting point for this story was to wonder how Alt-Clark's life would have unfolded had "our" Lois not visited him. I didn't want to write a lengthy, serious story -- that would have been waaaay too depressing for my tastes; hence this little vignette with a twist. (Gee, can you tell that I enjoy O. Henry type story endings? )

This story was a first for me in three different ways -- my first story with Lana, my first next-gen story, and my first alternate universe story, Or should that be "alternate alternate universe story," since my story deviates from the canonical alternate universe?

And I agree with HappyGirl's comment: Even Tempus' actions can be a force for good, however unwittingly on Tempus' part.

I think I'll go back into hiding now while others read this evil story.

Joy,
Lynn

Wonderful. That was precisely the reaction I was hoping for with this story... Or even having the reader go over the entire vignette again to reinterpret it properly.

Joy,
Lynn

That little vignette broke my heart a little... but well done!

This was very nice. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was especially tragic, but it was sad.

This version of alt-Clark doesn't have a bad life. He has a nice family with Lana that includes a wonderful son that may grow up to overcome the shortsightedness of his mom.

I've seen many alt-Clark variants where he fared much more poorly.

Nice short.

Bob

Mozartmaid, sorry you found it heartbreaking!

Bob, I agree with you. I haven't read very many alt-Clark stories, so I don't have much of a basis of comparison. Alt-Clark's being hen-pecked to the point of not using his powers and becoming a Walter Mitty type character is depressing, but at least he seems to take great joy in his son. Compared to "our" Clark, his life is pretty miserable, but it could be much, much worse.

Joy,
Lynn

Definitely not a fun ending. Poor Clark!

Very well-written. It contains so many emotions in such a small space.

And I would argue that this is an elseworld alt-world story since it contains an elseworld of the alternate universe.


Elisabeth

Marcus, I know -- in that respect, this was definitely a change of pace from my usual cheery stories.

Elisabeth, thank you! You made my day. And "elseworld alt-world story"? I like it! Incidentally, you taught me a new word -- I'm still relatively new to this fandom, and hadn't remembered coming across "elseworld" before. A quick re-read of the FAQ showed me that although I must have seen it during my first read-through, I hadn't recalled it. I think "elseworld alt-world story" is the perfect description of this fanfic, even if it is almost as long as the story itself.

Thank you both for leaving FDK.

Joy,
Lynn

Okay, I know this story has been posted for awhile, but I've been sort of out of fanfic lately (lack of time issues, not lack of interest), but needed a small diversion from work and came across this on the boards. It was perfect as a diversion, although sad.


Very well done, Lynn! I have to say, the opening line struck me as odd - it didn't sound like Lois to me - but not enough for me to realize what you were up to, so I was still surprised at the ending, and then loved the first line, which fit very well with the Lana we saw in the alt-universe.

I have to also say, Bob's comment about this Jonathan deciding to use his powers interests me as well - it would be quite an emotional story to see this boy grow up and realize he has powers and decide to use them despite his mother. And it would be interesting to see how Clark reacts to this.

Hi Anonpip, and welcome back!

Believe me, I understand fully how RL commitments can keep one from indulging in time on the MB. And thank you for taking the time to leave feedback for this story.

I'm please that my opening line worked so well for you. I always have fun writing vignettes in such a way that things aren't quite what they seem at first.

I agree that Bob's plot bunny would make an interesting story. It's not one that is calling out to me begging me to write it; but if Bob or anyone else chooses to do so, I would love to read it!

Joy,
Lynn