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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
What do you think of some of the characterizations? I've made Clark a little more playful, but also a little more insecure. (I always thought Dean Cain played that so well, really creating a difference between the two Clarks.) I've also made Lois just slightly more grounded, a little less neurotic. I think in the alt-verse they balance each other out better this way... it could get quite crazy with an insecure alt-Clark and a highly guarded alt-Lois, but maybe I'll tackle that angle in another fic down the road... anyway, hold tight for the finale. I hope you guys like it! =)
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way. 
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Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,823 |
Is Tempus really hors de combat? I can't help but think he'll turn back up at the most inconvenient time.
And I do like that L&C got four hours to talk to each other. That's very important.
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058
Pulitzer
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Pulitzer
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 4,058 |
Clark: “If we can be born in an instant, and die in an instant, why can’t we fall in love in an instant?”
Caroline's "Stardust"
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Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1
Top Banana
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Top Banana
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,371 Likes: 1 |
Nice part.
I think your characterizations are pretty good. Lois is a little more fragile that I normally think of her but I think that's reasonable here:
1. Her Congo expidition has not gone well
2. She just lost her friend and guide in Kawa
3. She's trying to deal with strong feeling of affection for Clark
She should be off-kilter.
As for Alt-Clark, he feels a little more open than I remember him but most of my expectations for him were formed in his S3 appearance. This Alt-Clark is post S4 (isn't he?) so he's had a chance to open up some.
Now, as much as I like Lois and Clark together as a couple, it feels like they got comfortable together a little too quickly. I'm completely on-board with the immediate attraction, but I would have liked to have seen some more nervousness or surprise, especially from Lois, about the feelings they're experiencing. Clark has had plenty of time to understand the soul-mate bond, but this is all somewhat out-of-the-blue for Lois. I would expect her to be at least a little more confused at what she's feeling.
I hope this doesn't offend. I'm enjoying the story. But you asked about characterizations.
Bob
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Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200
Top Banana
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OP
Top Banana
Joined: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,200 |
Thanks for the comments. I told you all this is a WIP and therefore, I'm still open to changing things. I think you are right, Bobbart, about creating at least a little more doubt in Lois, especially in the scene she writes the story, as she'd have time to process things a bit--Anyway, I am interested in what you think of the final bit, as I have a little twist to the ending. So once you have all pieces of the puzzle, I'll definitely be interested if you think the whole thing works. Will probably post it late tonight or tomorrow. It really is great to be able to write and get feedback on these boards  Even though none of it is publishable, of course, it's still nice to be able to work on craft. I guess that's what makes this community special. WAFFs all around!
Reach for the moon, for even if you fail, you'll still land among the stars... and who knows? Maybe you'll meet Superman along the way.
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31
Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
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Boards Chief Administrator Nobel Peace Prize Winner
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 9,066 Likes: 31 |
I really liked their bonding  They were really cute together and the floating was  If Superman was alone, he would have made it back to Metropolis in less than an hour.  In the Pilot he got to Shanghai in a matter of seconds. Or from Kansas to Metropolis, etc Michael
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