Clark decided to not go back to Lois' as Superman, but as himself. He realized it was too easy to hide behind his alter-ego. He just needed to tell her. Get it over with, like she said, rip off the band-aid.
When he came to her door, he didn't hear anything. He was tempted to x-ray it, but then thought that whatever was behind that door, he'd face it, no matter what. He knocked.
She came to the door. Her face grim. She had figured it out, he realized. She reached out and slapped him; he had just enough time to soften his face so she didn't hurt herself.
"Don't pretend like that hurt, Superman," she said, her voice icy.
It was time to face the music. He didn't even try to pretend he didn't know what she meant. The lies had gone far enough. "Lois. Please, let me explain," he tried.
"Go ahead, Clark, explain! I've been going in circles trying to figure out why you would lie to me---*on so many levels*! First, *when* were you going to tell me you were Superman? Were you *ever* going to tell me? Were you ever going to stop playing me for a fool?"
"Lois, you've never been a fool," he tried, moving them into her apartment and praying the neighbors didn't hear her tirade.
He noticed her eyes were blotchy from crying earlier, and they looked glassy again with tears.
"I realize we were both---insanely drunk last night. It was a stupid idea to begin with-- But--to not tell me truth--! To not stop us from creating a joke out of what could be---" Words died on her lips. She simply shook her head, unable to understand how he could betray her. "How could you let this happen, Clark?"
"Lois, I *tried* to tell you. I gave my real name. I had hoped you would---"
"Giving Clark Kent's name on a registry isn't exactly telling me you *are* Clark Kent!" she cried angrily.
He sighed. "I have tried to tell you the truth, Lois. Many times. You've got to believe me."
"Believe you? *Believe* you?" she spat the words back at him. "Have you told me the truth about anything, Clark? You've been lying to me since I've known you!"
"Lois, being Superman is the *only* thing I've ever lied to you about. And I always meant to tell you. I was, just waiting for the right moment," he finished lamely.
"The right moment! Come on, Clark! The right moment would have been any number of times, but definitely before we got to the altar to say 'I do!'"
"I'm sorry things got this far, Lois, without you knowing."
"Clark, just leave! I can't-- Just--*go*!" she said, not looking at him, waving her arms in the general direction of the door.
He sighed. He knew he couldn't reason with her while she was so upset. "I won't run from you, Lois. I'll leave now, but I want to talk to you later, when you've calmed down a bit."
"I don't want to talk to you again, ever! Just leave! I never want to see you again! Go!" she cried.
"Okay, Lois... I'll go," as he went to the door, he turned back to say something, "I honestly never meant to hurt you, Lois. I hope you eventually realize that."
She slammed the door in his face.
*******
As he walked away, he was actually secretly relieved. At least she knew. He was mad at himself for not telling her last night, but at least the whole truth was now out. Clark left her apartment and took off to the skies, with no destination in mind. He laughed bitterly to himself. <<That's how I got in trouble last night, not watching where I was going.>> He hoped that once she calmed down, she'd see everything he had been trying to tell her. That she would realize he loved her. But Clark also knew he might be hoping for too much. He may have ruined everything by being rash and impulsive. He beat himself up over it, not even letting himself lay blame on the red Kryptonite or even on Lois. He had been the only one who knew what had been really going on. And he had deceived her. It was that simple.
Could Lois ever forgive him?
*******
She couldn't believe what a fool she had been. What a fool to not see that Superman and Clark were the same person! To not to see that Clark could so easily play with her mind and with her heart. He should have stopped that madness last night!
She sank to the floor, pulling her knees up to her chest. "And why didn't *I* stop it?" she whispered aloud. Barring the fact that they were one and the same man, why had she went along with Superman? Was it more than the wine, she wondered. Was it the safety that Superman had represented that she had run to? Because he had seemed a distant hero, therefore untouchable, and unable to break her heart? And yet, now... now it was a horrible joke--on her. She was the one with egg on her face. She thought she could marry Superman, make Clark jealous---and then what, Lois? Now, completely sober, she couldn't find the reasons why she had done such a foolish thing. Which is exactly why Clark should have told her the truth! Well, he should have told her weeks ago, if not months ago! But especially after they started dating! And *absolutely* he should have said something last night!
<<Had he tried to tell me?>> she wondered, in a moment of trying to be fair. She tried to think of times when he might have been close to doing so. If he had, then it had been subtle going, cause she couldn't think of one moment when it had seemed Clark was about to confess something as big as being Superman.
"How dare he!" she cried. She had thought Clark and Superman were the most honest people on Earth. And to discover that they ---*he* had lied to her for two whole years---it completely shattered her belief in his integrity. And marrying him under false pretenses? She still felt sick over that, and her own behavior. Why had she agreed in the first place? Besides being drunk... She had no good answer.
Lois sighed. Thank God it was the weekend. She still had a whole day before she had to face Clark at work. Maybe by then she would know how to face him. Or maybe by then, she would have have vanished into thin air, so she wouldn't have to face any of it. But at least, it bought her time.
********
An hour later, there was a knock at her door.
"Already?" she scoffed. "Go away, Clark!" she shouted at the door.
But an unexpected voice answered, "Hey, Lois. Don't bring out the guns, it's just me."
Dan Scardino.
She sighed. She wasn't sure she had the energy for him either.
Slowly she got up from her place of wallowing on the floor. She took a quick peek at herself in the mirror and did her best to at least smooth out her hair. She looked like a wreck, but part of her really didn't care.
"Just a sec."
"Take your time."
She opened the door and resisted the urge not to laugh at another hideous Hawaiian shirt he was so fond of wearing.
"Come in," she gestured.
He strode in like he owned the place. His confidence always seemed forced to her, not easy like-- <<not going to think about him. Not even going to think his name...>>
"Are you okay, Lois?" he asked, noticing Lois' tired eyes.
"Yeah... no... I don't want to talk about it, Dan."
He smiled smugly. "Well, I guess that means Clark is out of your good graces. Which is good news for me."
"It's more complicated than that," she said defensively.
Dan shook his head. "How many chances are you going to give that guy? Is he really worth all the heartache, Lois?"
She felt tears threaten again, knowing in her heart what the answer was. But she refused to cry in front of Dan. She didn't want his sympathy.
"Why are you here, Dan?" she asked irritably.
"Oh, well, you keep dodging me for a date. So I thought maybe if I came and asked you here, you might actually accept," he grinned. "And I'm pretty sure I'm looking a helluva lot better than Mr. Kent right now. Am I right?"
She really didn't want anything to do with him. But a date with Scardino might be a desirable distraction. Just to clear her head. Get away from the mess that was her heart.
"All right, Dan, you win. You can take me on a date tonight."
"Great. I'll be back at eight to pick you up."
********
Everything was all wrong.
It was the worst date ever.
The restaurant was too crowded, she nearly choked on a fish bone, and the wine was too sweet. No matter what Dan did, it didn't help. She was miserable for a whole host of reasons and wished desperately that she had just turned him down.
She wanted to leave and go home. But she made herself try to stick it through. She would feel bad about leaving him anyway, mid-date. She knew all about how much *that* hurt.
"Lois?" he asked. "You seem distracted."
"Yeah, I am. Sorry, Dan. This...maybe this was a bad idea."
He nodded, resigned. "You need to talk to him."
"Excuse me?" she queried defensively.
"You've got it bad, Lois. And I can tell no matter how much I wine and dine you, I don't stand a chance. Go. It's okay."
She sighed, giving up any pretense of enjoying herself. "Dan, I'm sorry. It's just---"
"I know. I just--- I just hope he realizes what a prize you are."
*******
"Wait. What a *prize* I am?" she said aloud to herself as she walked away from the restaurant, her fury growing with every step. "How dare he talk to me like that! This is not the eighteenth century!"
She was sick of men. Sick of their games and their platitudes. She should have never gotten involved with Clark, that much is clear! First thing Monday morning, she was going to have Jimmy research divorce lawyers. And then she'd go to the most successful one in town. Surely this sham of a marriage can be easily annulled and she would never let Clark or any other man manipulate her again! She was *not* a victim! And she would never act like one again!
