Clark curled up on the tiny cot in his cell and wished for death, praying that he might see Lois if he died. He sighed, his large frame nearly breaking the cot as he turned towards the wall, thinking morosely that maybe he didn’t even deserve to see her again in death, having been unable to protect her in life.
He simply couldn't believe she had been taken from him! They were just starting to get close. Was it just yesterday morning that he had asked her on a date? And she hadn't thrown anything at him or yelled at him, but had seemed intrigued by the idea. And now, he was living a nightmare... she was gone... and *he* was held responsible. He hadn’t fought the charge too much, because in his own guilty mind, he felt that he may as well have plunged the knife to kill Lois since he hadn’t been able to stop it.
Though he knew it was Lex Luthor who had killed her.
Clark tried not to let his anger at Lex Luthor consume him, though it was hard, especially in the darkest hours of the night. At the moments where he was most weak, he imagined killing Luthor, yet that only spiraled him into self-loathing further. In those sinister hours, he lost himself in grief and tormented thoughts. The walls closed in on him, mocking his helplessness, him, the most powerful man in the world…
Clark looked listlessly over at his window, resenting the sunlight that streamed through his cell. He hadn’t deserved the gifts he was given, and he didn’t want to get better, but his powers were returning. Slowly, even as he masochistically tried to stay out of the sunlight, it still found him. The rays still found him, healed him, reawakened the good hero, ever so silently. And how Clark resented it.
He hated feeling his invulnerable strength return, knowing that one stab in the right place had taken Lois forever. His strength mocked her absence, and he couldn’t accept it.
After two whole days and nights of this torture, he finally thought of his parents. Did they know he was locked away? Did they know that Lois was dead? Did they know that he had not a clue where to go from here?
It was in this state that Perry came in to see Clark.
Perry approached the cell cautious, as if approaching a wild animal. He knew that Clark didn't kill Lois, could *never* harm a hair on her head, yet he didn't know how Clark would handle the grief Perry knew must be bone deep in the man.
"Son? It's me, Perry," he said, stepping into the weak hall light.
Clark looked over, startled out of his thoughts.
"Perry, I didn't--" he started, and then fell into a sobbing mess for the first time since he had been thrown in prison. There's always something slightly more heartbreaking about watching a strong man cry; the sobs are more wracking, uncontrollable, speaking directly from the soul. Not that women don't cry with as much feeling, but men who are unaccustomed to the act, who never learned how to cry prettily or for sympathy, or even passionately when in grief, as women often did, are taken unawares when it happens, thus crying freely.
"I know you didn't do it, Son," said Perry, offering what comfort he could through the bars. "I came to tell you that the Planet is behind you one hundred percent. We're going to get you the best lawyer in the city, in the *country,* if we must."
Clark nodded, barely able to speak, "Thanks, Perry."
Perry looked at Clark, a slightly guilty look on his face.
“What is it?” asked Clark.
Perry hesitated, “It’s, uh, just that, well, when you left with Lois the other day, saying you were investigating Luthor at Hobb’s bay, I called the cops to let them know, thinking we might be able to bag Luthor straight away. I mean, talk about a dead man walking! And I’m just thinking that if I hadn’t… well, maybe things wouldn’t have happened as they did.”
Clark nodded solemnly, “It’s okay, Perry. I couldn’t have done anything to stop Luthor. I was knocked out and he was gone…” Clark held back, wishing he had been stronger against the Kryptonite. Or hadn’t been slow to act in getting Lois out of there, knowledge of him being Superman be damned. What did it matter anyway, now that Lois was gone and Lex knew?
"Now, do you remember anything that happened? The officer I talked to said you were unsure? Did you get knocked out or something?"
Clark nodded. He remembered all too well, just the shock of everything had kept him silent when he was questioned. "Lois had seen Luthor, or thought she saw him in an alley. He had been in some sort of disguise, and she had wanted to investigate," he shook his head, remembering her foolishness. Then he looked up at Perry, his heart broken, the sentiment clear on his face. "I know Luthor killed her, Perry. I was knocked out when it happened, but I *know* ---" He stopped, braced himself and went on, "How could---that man was going to *marry* her! How could--how--?" Clark choked again on another sob, unable to fathom the heartlessness of Luthor's act. He knew, too, in that moment, that he would never kill Luthor. No matter what guilt that wracked him for having been unable to save Lois, he knew he would never be driven to murder. Inwardly, he was relieved to realize it. Perry had no idea what he was really going through, could have none. Yet, all the same, Clark at least knew that Perry could somewhat understand his loss. Lois had been like a daughter to him.
Perry shook his head in incredulity at the situation. "First of all, I can’t believe Luthor is back from the dead. And Lois is gone--" Perry choked up a bit himself. "Look, Son, I can't bail you out because it's a murder charge. They are still running tests on that knife they found on--at the scene. I think Henderson's on our side as well, as I talked to him a few minutes before I came to see you. He's going to work night and day to hunt down Luthor and get you out of here… The Planet supports you, though we can’t print anything until we find Luthor… “ Perry seemed doubtful a moment, but then looked Clark in the eye. “Son, I believe you that you and Lois saw him and that he---well, we need proof, is all. Henderson has a large team on this case… looking for a dead man.” Perry shook his head. “Great shades of Elvis! I can’t believe any of this is happening, honestly. But as I told you, I'll get a lawyer for you. Don’t you worry about that. Is, uh, there anything else I can do for you, Son?"
Clark reached through the bars to grasp Perry's offered hand, his eyes filled with sad hope. "Can you--call my parents?"
***************
Martha and Jonathan were in Metropolis just as fast as they could be. Martha, usually cool and in control, was shaken by the idea of her son in jail on murder charges. It wasn't even a question of him being innocent--she knew that without a doubt--but she knew Clark must be a total mess over Lois' death.
"Perry said they'll get the best lawyer they can for him," said Jonathan, trying to reassure Martha before they went in. He touched her shoulder to turn her to him. "Martha, we have to be strong for our boy. He needs us more than ever."
She nodded, steeling herself to see her son behind bars.
"Clark!" she couldn't help crying out, racing over to the cell where he was hunched over on a cot.
Clark looked up, his eyes full of pain.
"Mom?" he asked, almost as if he didn't believe they were there.
"Yes, Son, we're here," said Jonathan.
Clark came over to the cell door, reaching for his parents through the bars.
"I--I'm so scared," he let out. "Not of what they'll do to me... but," he shook his head, dismissing his darkest fears. "Lex Luthor killed Lois! How could he do that to her?" he finished, his voice ragged. Clark had always believed that there was good in everyone, but this time, he wasn't so sure. He felt so conflicted, and hated the anger and pain that burned inside of him.
"Clark, listen to me," said Martha, holding his hand. "Justice will be served. They will find Luthor and you will be free as soon as possible."
"But what's the point, Mom?" he asked, his eyes pleading with her to understand. "I can’t go back to being Superman, even if they did find Luthor. What is the point of Superman if I can't protect those I love? How do I go on without her?" he whispered.
Martha looked around, looking for a guard. "Can't I go in there? I need to hug my son!"
A guard who was standing far enough away not to hear the intimate part of their conversation shook his head. "I'm afraid not, m'am."
Martha gripped Clark’s hand ever more fiercely. "Clark, you will get through this. You have to stay strong. Lois would want you to be strong, for her," Martha said, hating to use Lois as a catalyst for Clark to move in the right direction, but she was desperate to wipe that painful look off his face.
"I just... can't believe this is happening," Clark said to no one in particular.
"We're staying at your place until this is all over with. Perry said we can meet with you and the lawyer they hired in two days. Okay? Take some courage in that," Martha said, her eyes full of love for her son. "Meanwhile, I'll be here tomorrow and everyday after to check on you."
"Thanks, Mom," Clark said, reaching to touch the hands of his folks once again.
**********
The lawyer, a Mr. Jason Neddlestein, sat across from Clark and his parents.
"I have the results of the forensic evaluation on the knife. Both yours and Luthor's prints were found on it. Which doesn't mean you're guilty--or innocent for that matter, but it means we have more work to do."
Jason had defended may cases, and this was the first one where he wanted to absolutely believe the accused was guiltless. Part of it was the man's family and friends, all supporting him so fiercely, but also the man himself. He wasn't full of the remorse of the guilty, but rather filled with the grief of a man who has lost someone truly beloved.
"We don't have much of a case until we at least track down Lex Luthor. But, I got to tell you Mr. Kent, it's hard convincing people to track down a man who was declared dead over six months ago."
Clark sighed. "I know it sounds crazy, but that's exactly why Lois and I were investigating. She hadn't been sure that she had really seen him, and well, I guess she needed to know the truth," he finished sadly.
"Look, Henderson has some guys looking for him, but I don't think the DA is convinced that was the story. If they find him, we'll have a better chance of getting you out of here. But... they have to find him first. Then we can arrest him as a suspect and try to get the complete story. You said you were knocked out? Do you have any scrapes, or bruises to show for it?" the lawyer asked.
Clark looked uncomfortably at his parents. His powers were fully back, and all signs of physical distress had disappeared as well. "No, I don't," he said slowly. "I *was* knocked out, though."
He realized his story had some holes in it, and though the lawyer seemed ready to believe him, Clark didn't know how well it would all hold up in court.
Suddenly, Inspector Henderson stepped in the room.
"Sorry to interrupt you folks, but I just heard news that is important to the case."
"Did they find Luthor?" asked Clark hopefully.
Henderson shook his head, still trying to figure it out. "No, but we did find Ms. Lane's broken camera. I've sent it to the lab to try and see if we can access any of the pictures she may have taken on it."
Clark sighed. "She took a picture of Luthor before..." He couldn't finish the sentence, but Henderson nodded.
"Good. I need something solid to show my boss. I can't keep a team looking for a man that is known to be dead without proof. But there's something else I need to tell you."
The group looked at him expectantly.
Henderson sighed and then said, "Lois Lane's body is missing from the morgue. Either she got up and walked out or someone stole it."
Clark sat back heavily. "I'm sure it's Luthor. He must have her. I know it. We only need to find where he's been hiding out," Clark said with determination, wishing he could be the one out there looking for him.
"Do you know how to get a hold of Superman?" asked Henderson, noticing Clark flinch at the mention of the hero’s name. "I know he and Lois were close, and if anyone could find her body it's him. In fact, I've been wondering why he hasn't volunteered himself to go after the perpetrators."
Clark's eyes darted to his parents with uncertainty. He wanted more than anything to be out of this prison, looking for Luthor... But he couldn't reveal his secret, even if the man of steel never made an appearance again. He shook his head 'no.'
"Oh, there's something else I wanted to ask you about," said Henderson. "The labs are trying to figure out this rock we found at the crime scene. It's green and sort of glows bright. Any idea what that is?"
Clark swallowed hard, trying to repress his concern, wondering if the Kryptonite was in the prison somewhere. "No, don't know what it is."
"Hmm, okay," Henderson said, disappointed. "Well, we're going to keep trying to contact Superman. I've sent a message to Perry White at the Daily Planet, and he said he'd put a notice in the paper that we need his help."
"I... hope you find him," Clark finished lamely, wondering what he was going to do now.
